I know it’s been fucking forever since the last time I posted. What better occasion to come out of hiding than my precious Wifey’s birthday? This one shot was actually inspired by a recent trip that Missy took to Las Vegas. I thought it would be funny to have a younger Eric hitting on an older Sookie who wasn’t really interested in having her leg humped by some horny dude while he tries to seduce her at the karaoke bar with ’90s slow jams. That simple idea morphed into something a little bit bigger than a simple weekend fling in Vegas with some hot, young buck, but it’s Wifey’s birthday. That means no drama, angst, or visits from the waaaaaaaahmbulance. So that’s what we have here, just a sweet little story that’s almost 18k words in length. It’s about 3 times longer than I thought it would be. It’s also a day late, but better late than never, right? So I hope you all enjoy it. Happy birthday, Wifey! I hope it was a great one!

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I’m going to start with that gif because it had me in stitches yesterday and caused a makeup malfunction for Wifey while she was in the office. But from now on, anytime I have a bad day, this is my go-to gif for lolz.

Now that we got that tomfoolery out of the way we can get to the good stuff! About a week ago justwanderingneverlost put up a post on Instagram featuring this gem.

Wifey and I agreed that Girls Who Don’t Read are Skanks is our favorite, but ultimately it was Bibliobimbo that spoke to me. I had been through about 2154641 different ideas for her birthday fic. I thought I was slick back in February and might do something featuring Eric in spandex, paying homage to George Michael, whom both kjwrit and I are fans and were devastated to hear of his passing back in December. That didn’t work out, although the thought is still there so maybe at some point I’ll get a plot together that I actually like for the idea. Even Bibliobimbo had to get a reboot when I got about 3k words into the first version before I realized it wasn’t working. So I managed to get this written over the course of the last five days.

Maybe next year I won’t come down to the wire on Wifey’s present but it’s not likely. So, for your viewing/reading pleasure, I present

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In addition to being Wifey’s birthday and Cinco de Mayo, the Cubbies are also playing the Yankees. What a day. I’m off to go cuddle GusGus. He’s getting so big!

Happy birthday Wifey! I hope it’s a great one!

Okay, so this year I thought I’d get a jump on Wifey’s story. Way back in February I was like, “I have the perfect plot, and this is going to be done way before Wifey’s birthday!” And what happened? That plot turned out to be a turkey. I started working on it but when I went in to read it a few weeks ago I had no fucking clue what the end game was. So I had to start over. Since my birthday is a mere ten days before hers, of course there was that reminder going off in the back of my head that Wifey’s was coming up soon too. I tried a couple of different things but none of it was working. So then this happened.

Of course I had no idea what that song was because I up until I searched YouTube for it, I’d never heard a Demi Lovato song. Then of course I was like oh sweet, she picked something angsty. All these dramatic images of a lovelorn Sookie filled my mind, and yet, I couldn’t get a single word out about it. I tried for like two days and there was just nothing happening. And then there was a blessing from plot bunny heaven that got me started on the path I ended up staying on.

That nugget of Skarsporn really helped to cement the scruffy Eric I had in mind. Please feel free to keep that pic as reference for when Sookie starts up with her random humping on Eric. I mean honestly, how could you not? I would.

So anyway, I knew this wasn’t going to be a short one shot, but that’s okay. Truthfully, I could probably flesh this out a bit more and turn it into a full story, but I’m happy with how it is. I broke it up into two parts just in case you can’t read it all in one sitting.

As for Wifey, I hope that your mom isn’t driving you too crazy. If she is, give her more meds or maybe take some yourself. Happy birthday my dear friend!

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