RIP Ace Frehley

I stopped doing memorials and tributes a long time ago due to my age, but this one was special because KISS was so important to my childhood. Take that FWIW, but I felt bad that his passing was overshadowed by the holidays and wanted to be sure to remember it.

On a positive note, I read that Peter Criss is releasing his first new album in 18 years. It will be available on Bandcamp (at least), if I read correctly. 

© The Weirding, 2025  

Role Models - A Review

Role Models

I am a huge fan of both Sean William Scott and Paul Rudd, so I sought-out Role Models without knowing it was a movie about roleplaying (LARPing, actually). Being a huge fan of RPG, I was basically destined to enjoy the shit out of Role Models... and then they went and dropped KISS all over it. Yes, Role Models was literally made for me. If you think about it, that's a pretty recession-proof model - after all, they knew there was a built-in audience; if nothing else, they were certain to sell one ticket... and I'd need a ride - and so the math begins.

An uneven film, a lot of Role Models' charm comes from the fact that it doesn't even try to find its rhythm. It remains true to the improvisation of RPG, bouncing from one theme to another. However, it succeeds as a whole because it actually hits its mark almost every time; while haphazard, each element completes the thought behind it. When Role Models veers into snappy banter, the dialogue is jaunty and crisp; when it wobbles into the urbane, it goes deep blue; and when it strikes an emotional chord, it's unflinchingly genuine.

Uneven pacing, too many stories, dramatic moments in the midst of slapstick comedy - all easily handled by a rote formula. Overall, it leans on nostalgia to drive it and there just isn't enough, even for a superfan like myself, to keep it going, but it makes a valiant effort. A good watch to which you are unlikely to return.

© C Harris Lynn, 2010

Leaving the '80s

Man Alone made some good points about leaving the 1980s behind, but I have to disagree with the overall assertion. After all, many of my favorite things were released in the 1980s - many things that, "You could never do now." And that's the key phrase.

Having said that, I get where he's coming from. I certainly don't want to hear or see endless remakes and new takes on proven commodities with just a bankable title attached. AD&D is from the 1980s (and '90s), even though it started in the 1970s, and that's all I need insofar as D&D goes. That was their heyday and they released an awful lot of content (mostly good, but a lot of bad too) during those eras. Were I to play D&D, I would play one of those editions and obviously a lot of people agree.

Although my teenage and young adult phases were in the 1990s, most of what we got then were remakes and revisions of products from the 1980s. I don't want to relive my past, but neither do I want to toss babies out with the bathwater. 

I'm eyeballing kung-fu styles for Buffy the Vampire Slayer Roleplaying Game, for example, and am likely to base them on games from the 1980s when the ninja craze fueled several systems in which Martial Arts Styles were a big deal. And I am not about to entertain notions of "cultural appropriation" nor any other pop-psych nonsense; these are games meant for having fun, and they present a lot of things from a lot of different sources, not just other cultures.

In fact, if you're reading critically, I suppose I am saying that ninja are as much a part of our pop-culture as anyone else's. After all, the popular, American notion of ninja - who they are, what they do, and how they do it - is pretty far removed from their historical counterparts.

I don't need a remake of The Goonies or Ghostbusters, but I still love those (original) movies and they inspire me to do other things. So, I will not be leaving the '80s alone even though I long ago left them behind... and now I'm old.

© The Weirding, 2024

What I'm Digging Year #5.2

soo
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I'm afraid I no longer have access to all of the super-cool advance stuff I once did, but that stuff did not do as well as hoped, so I guess it's okay. I'm only trying to post once a week, but there will be additional posts along the way. I'll eventually settle into a basic groove and get going again.

For the moment, I'm still reading The Monstrumologist. I have a second book I was reading entitled, The King of Dreams by Robert Silverberg, but I am trying to get through one at a time; also on dock is Revival and Dr. Sleep, both by stalwart standby, Stephen King, and Zelazny's Amber Chronicles -- all three of which I have already started. Speaking of which, I'm poring through past issues of Protodimension as I go. Come to think of it, I could fill this page with all the RPG stuff I've had my nose in for the last several weeks, but I won't

Nothing is on the TV this week, as I am focused on returning to greatness. Or some meager semblance thereof. Well, that's not exactly true, given that I am having to listen to the TV as though it were the radio:

So, on the "radio," as it were, is Man Alone, YouTube's singular solo RPG gamer... okay, he's not the only one, but he's one of the more streamlined and focused ones. He's also remarkably easy to have on in the background while you do what has to get done in the foreground, and I have an awful lot to get done.

I've forced myself to only add free items to the shopping cart so I can make a larger purchase later; if I have anything, I'm just "Watching" it. I'm hoping to purchase some oracles and a handful of RPG to add to the mix -- mostly oracles but also a few books on the paranormal in a d10 setting (outside of Demonground) and Genre, but it's going to be a week or two at least, given the size of the orders... I plan. And, again, that includes a handful of free items, too. So, either way, that's going to be a decent haul.

Lastly, I'm back to playing The Sims (of course). I tried installing the first one, but it's WIN only, so I'm just settling for Sims 4 atm. I'm all about it again, even though my mods are completely screwed after these updates.

I recently added to the mix anyway, and bought some cheap Halloween decorations. I'll try to do a Halloween post (I'm all but certain to) again this year and apologize for missing the last handful; there's just been too much going on both online and off-.

© The Weirding, 2020

What I'm Digging Year #5.1

Here's what I'm digging this week, or (probably) month. I've included relevant links wherever possible. These open in new windows in case you click and can't seem to find them.

I'm spending more time on DriveThru and eBay than I mean to, but I only overspent a lot. Hopefully, I'll be able to reign it back in next month... I got some good advice along the way, seeing as how a lot of it comes down to peddling $1 and $3.00 orders of things I just couldn't live without, regarding solo adventuring and that is: Don't feel like you have to buy a lot of RPG stuff to get started, especially if you already own a lot of RPG stuff. A whole lot of Solo RPG -related stuff is free or Pay What You Want (PWYW), which is basically $1-3.00 or free, anyway.

I'm still reading The Monstrumologist by Rick Yancey, I just haven't had as much time to read as I did previously, so I'm barely making it through chapters before going to bed.

I've mostly been listening to YouTube videos while I work, whether it be music or spoken word -- specifically, the type of podcast you don't have to watch to get the most out of it. I plan on checking out Radio Juxtapoz this week, as well. I just started one episode and liked what I heard, but I didn't listen to the entire thing. Most of the podcasts are relating to solo RPG, D&D lore, Cyberpunk (a lot of Cyberpunk 2077, even though I only have the Referee's Screen for that), and just solo RPGing and lore, overall

As for TV, I've had it set to MeTV Toons with Mute on for the whole month, so far. I just can't take the politics and they're set into hyperdrive at this time of the season and year. I've checked in on major headlines here and there, and local weather, but that's as far as I've bothered to go with anything news-related; I just get too worked-up. I'm seriously considering buying either Cyberpunk Red or the Cyberpunk 2077 video game for my birthday, but I haven't made up my mind just yet. I also installed a couple of new podcast apps, but I haven't listened to anything on them yet.

I'm going to be running a lot of RPG solo, but I'm starting with my own Fuzion system using Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel (the UniSystem, basically) and a number of creatures, randoms, and so on that I've adapted from other RPG materials I already own. Two of those product links are completely free, BTW.

So, until next week!

© The Weirding, 2024

NEW Fiona Apple - Fetch The Bolt Cutters

I'm not sure why some of the posts with videos embedded are working and others are not, but they open to YouTube anyway, so I'm not sure what the problem is...

I reinserted the video and it appears on my end, so I republished the post and we'll see what happens. 

UPDATE 10-18-24: It appears to be showing. This post has almost 5k hits, so I have to assume it was removed to redirect you to YouTube to watch it there... which it does, anyway, because it's from YouTube, so that's the best assumption I've got and it doesn't make a lot of sense to me.

© The Weirding, 2020

No Apologies (*)

In going through old posts, I realize that I have, at times, been particularly hard on some people (mostly celebrities) and projects (mostly shit).  No, it's true.

My views on a lot of things, especially political and social issues, have changed a lot, too -- some entirely. But I'm not taking down those posts and I'm not "updating" or whitewashing them to reflect the changes in my opinions.  I'm only updating them to cash-in on recent developments and popular opinion.

Those posts were written by a different person in a different time; a time which, in retrospect, may have been Big Media's Last Gasp:

MySpace was bigger than Facebook, which wasn't even available to the public until 2008 or so; YouTube had only been online for one or two years; I don't think Twitter had even launched yet.  Hulu didn't launch until 2008 or 2009 and Netflix still sent DVDs to your house because DVDs were still A Thing.  Blockbuster was still bigger than Netflix back then!

The 24-hour cable news cycle was in full-swing; streaming media wasn't even A Thing until at least 2008-2009 and didn't become a serious contender until 2015 or so; tabloid blogs were all the rage (remember Perez Hilton?); people still went to the movies because Hollywood made more than just superhero films; and chicks like Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears, and (the real) Paris Hilton were fucking crazy!

I'd forgotten how nucking futs Britney went!  It wasn't just an off-color, or "tone-deaf," remark or two -- like the ones that kill careers today; she went off the rails for a while there.  Remember when they sent a chopper to Paris Hilton's house -- and broke into regular programming to show it in real-time?  Like it was an earthquake or 9/11.  They're Impeaching the sitting "President" right now and I don't think they've interrupted regular programming for that!

I don't feel bad for reacting to those things like they were the end of the world -- that's how they were presented!  TV, movies, and even cable TV were huge parts of American pop-culture, and our daily lives, which is how (and why) tabloids and sensationalized news stories about famous people got started in the first place.  I still largely believed things the talking heads on TV told me about war, politics, health, and other important issues, and few of those outlets had a notable online presence (and none of them should).

Those posts were written 10+ years ago and everything was different then -- including me.  I can't apologize for those things.  I started to apologize for piling-on to Britney Spears, for example, but I'd entirely forgotten about her skipping court appearances for custody of her children and serving her mom with papers on the set of her little sister's TV show.  Shit, I'd forgotten her little sister ever had a career (in entertainment)!

The things I felt, thought, and said back then were shaped, not only by the events themselves, but by the media, the constant coverage, the proliferation of tabloid websites, the mainstreaming of it all, and a thousand other things -- most of which I've all but forgotten!

I certainly did go too far sometimes, but who didn't?  That's not an excuse, that's just the way things were back then.  Remember Perez Hilton?  I was in competition with major players who had major backing from major corporations, all of whom went much further.  And, again, a lot of that was some unprecedented shit and the drama was ramped-up by the traditional media by at least 1,000-fold.

Hell, I sometimes go too far today and I'm okay with that.  The world's a fucked-up place and the morons running it are War Criminals with zero oversight.  Most days I wake up, I'm (pleasantly) surprised that people aren't running wild in the streets -- which would hardly be an "overreaction," should they start.

For those who weren't around then or haven't noticed, the "news" cartels have simply replaced pop-culture celebrities with politicians.  And blogs have largely been replaced by social networks.  Traditional media is still as toxic as it ever was and its effect on viewers is evident on social networks today.

Keep this in mind when, five or 10 years from now, you re-read people railing on "Cancel Culture" and "#[everything]SoWhite," because these things, too, will be forgotten.  Not the events or people, but the context in which they are taking place, and the things that are said in the midst of the fray will read entirely different once removed from that context.

So, if I hurt anyone's feelings or upset them, I didn't get their Twitter account removed or break into regular programming to show my chopper hovering over their mansion.  That's an important distinction.  Blogging, the Internet, TV -- everything was entirely different in 2008, 2010, 2012, et. al., and the context in which those things were written and those events took place matters.

I take full responsibility for the things I have said but I feel no responsibility to apologize for being fooled, swept-up by current events or my emotions, nor anything like that.  All of that just makes me human, and I can't really change that.

© The Weirding, 2020

Malevolent Creation - Malevolent Creation

Malevolent Creation - Malevolent Creation

Malevolent rarely gets the attention they deserve, as they were definitely at the forefront of the early Death Metal scene and contributed greatly.  My only guess is that it has to do with their thrashy style and just general timing: When this album debuted, bands like Deicide and Cannibal Corpse had already laid claim to the Tampa Bay/Morrisson Studios sound and NYBDM was just beginning to lay waste to the industry.

Chords -- fifths and thirds, most notably (haha!  I love this shit) -- and an intentionally sloppy, garage/live-band sound began to take hold in what (in retrospect) I can only guess was the producers' best strategy at maintaining sway in an arena increasingly owned by actual musicians.  Yet, Malevolent Creation's single-string philosophy yielded nothing in the way of aggressive progression and beat-down breaks.

It's easy to forget, but Death - Human, Obituary - Cause of Death, and Morbid Angel - Blessed are the Sick were in heavy rotation (on my friend's mom's mini-van's CD changer) at the same time as Malevolent Creation's debut album.  They were right there at the start, with that bright, light-string shit that still -- 25+ years later -- sounds like no one else.

Except Slayer and also Metallica and Megadeth.  And also Anthrax.

Whatever the case, Malevolent Creation's first couple of albums remain stalwart examples of actual Death Metal -- before it started being divided into a countless multitude of sub-genres.

© The Weirding, 2020

History of the Marvel Universe #1

History of the Marvel Universe #1

This six-issue limited series starts in July.

© The Weirding, 2019

Marvel Comics #1000

Marvel Comics #1000

Marvel Comics #1000 this August!

© The Weirding, 2019

Night Ranger - Don't Tell Me You Love Me

Night Ranger - Don't Tell Me You Love Me

Night Ranger - Don't Tell Me You Love Me may have been censored by YouTube for its Cold War themes.  It is available on competing streaming platforms.

© The Weirding, 2018

Happy New Year 2019!

Prince - 1999

I said I wouldn't play any Christmas music this year, then played more than I have all the other years combined!  Okay, maybe not -- but close!

Here's wishing everyone a Happy New Year!  Regular posting resumes next week.

© The Weirding, 2019

Amazing Spider-Man #800 - Moebius Variant

Amazing Spider-Man #800 - Moebius Variant

© The Weirding, 2018

Molly Ringwald and the Moral Majority

Typical Hollywood Actress Reaction

If you're under 45, you're probably asking yourself, "Who the fuck is Molly Ringwald?"  

That's a fair question.  

She was an actress who appeared in almost every John Hughes movie there ever was in the far away land called "The 1980s."  A pretty redhead, she portrayed the emblematic "Princess" of those flicks -- a role she had no problem playing for a decade, and even reprised for a cameo in a terrible 2001 film -- but now (that all the checks have cleared) she finds them highly offensive.

Now you're probably asking yourself, "Who the fuck is John Hughes?"  Again, fair question:

John Hughes had a stranglehold on the teen, "coming of age" films of the 1980s; from Sixteen Candles to Ferris Bueller's Day Off to what many consider to be his magnum opus, The Breakfast Club, and well beyond, Hughes managed, more often than not, to nail teenaged archetypes of the period --

That's... that's not what I mean, #MeFirstToo-ers.

But, in a scathing screed of hate speech, Ringwald lobbed every bigoted, pop-culture label her pretty little head could muster at The Breakfast Club -- the film which made her a bonafide movie star, and part of what was known as "The Brat Pack."  Not unusual for a Hollywood actress, she had no idea what she was saying, and was unlikely to have ever read the entire script (just her lines and queues) or seen the finished product before watching it with her daughter.  That her reactionary finger-wagging typified the character for which she became famous is a level of irony that can be missed only by people in Carson City and NYC.

Yes, Way Back When, there were jocks, and gearheads, and princesses, and outcasts, and nerds -- in every classroom in every public school across the nation -- and John Hughes' movies accurately captured those archetypes.  That those stereotypes still exist today is no surprise -- that's why stereotypes exist.

The overprivileged whitefolk (got to point that out, since it's problematic) of the 1980s indulged their self-inflicted ennui by wearing all black, smoking clove cigarettes, reading Interview with a Vampire, and listening to whiny, "Alternative" music like Morrissey.  They became Goths in the 1990s - 2000s, and pierced everything because they weren't old enough to become strippers.  And listened to Morrissey.  Now, they vape and dye their hair blue (if they're girls) and pink (if they're boys -- no one's sure), because it's politically incorrect to teach gradeschool-level Biology. *

Through these stereotypes, elevated to archetype in John Hughes' talking heads The Breakfast Club, teenagers of the time were forced to confront some very ugly truths about ourselves, while also seeing other stereotypes face their own.  The characters said things that we didn't have the opportunity to, much less the nerve.  And while their situations were not ours, and their behavior over the top (it's a fucking movie -- a moving picture, or motion of picture), they and their situations were relatable to our own.

That's what made John Hughes' movies so popular: They presented human teenagers and young adults as we were -- as ridiculous and politically incorrect as that is -- whereas most movies sidelined us as minor characters with overblown adolescent issues, or made us react to the situation (Back to the Future, Weird Science).  While highly stylized, John Hughes' movies presented a more realistic, in-depth character study of the teenage stereotypes to which most of us relate at that age.

Popular culture relies heavily on stereotypes, especially for shorthand, and this is never more obvious than in movies, due to the limited playing time.

John Bender -- your stereotypical, longhaired stoner -- absolutely did not "sexually harass" Claire, the hapless lass Molly Ringwald portrayed onscreen.  Nor did his onscreen antics negatively influence an entire generation of men -- or women, or transgendered people people of transgenderism the gender-impaired, or anyone else.  We were more capable of telling fact from fantasy in those days, largely due to tighter regulation on propaganda.

Not to laud my intellectual privilege, but we were just plain smarter.

Bender was wrong -- pretty much all the way around -- and he was also On Dope.  Throughout the course of the movie, we learn that he is a victim of abuse, which is why he is defiant and acts out irrationally: He craves negative attention, as it is the only attention he is accustomed to receiving.  Estevez' jock is also the victim of abuse who represses his feelings and channels his anger into athletics and bullying others.  Brian, the nerd, suffers from self-abuse (he's probably a cutter person of cutting).

Typical of abuse victims, these characters abuse themselves and others, whether they mean to or not.  They wouldn't be diagnosed as "bi-polar" until Prozac was invented -- the way Millennials weren't diagnosed as ADHD with "learning disabilities" until methamphetamine was available by prescription!

The only character who isn't completely fucked-up is Sheedy's "The Basketcase," who has isolated herself from all these self-important drama queens.  She would later be diagnosed as Off Her Meds.  That's known as "irony," and makes a point in and of itself.

But Molly Ringwald's character is an abuser, not the victim: She remains oblivious to a fault, traumatizing everyone around her through her callous behavior.  People just aren't worthy of Claire's abuse, as that would be a waste of her precious time; they are forced to prove they are worth any attention, should she so deign.  

She typifies this stereotype in Sixteen Candles, as well -- overlooking the well-meaning but goofy Ducky for the handsome hunk.  If this sounds familiar, it's because this sort of thing happens everyday -- especially to teenagers (relax, it happened to #MeToo).  Johnny Bender's character calls her out on this Holier-Than-Thou attitude and, in stereotypical fashion for girls with Daddy Issues, she falls for The Bad Boy.

Had he written a sequel starring Claire, it would have been Showgirls.

These things are not actually said aloud, so it's understandable that a Hollywood actress would miss these very relevant points -- especially if "her" character doesn't say them.  Because screenwriters are only there to clean-up actors' improvisational genius -- that's what screenwriters do.  That's the job.

I suppose, at this point, I should say that Caitlin Jenner is strong and beautiful.

It's all pretty ugly -- like life... especially adolescence.  Like teenagers and teenagers' rooms and teenagers' cars...  And an overwhelming number of people Ringwald's age identified heavily with The Breakfast Club because of this.

It's far from pleasant, but it's politically incorrect, and too often awkward (and also problematic), to discuss these very real life situations and human personalities in mixed company -- which is what makes it so refreshing to see it onscreen, or read it in a book not written by a pompous Hollywood blowhard... or an AI writing program one slaps his name on as a lazy attempt at anti-art.  

John Hughes understood that regular, everyday people can be retarded awkward and gay problematic -- and also selfish and wrong and obtuse and sometimes ugly even if they're physically very attractive.  And all of that's okay because regular people -- unlike The Hollywood People -- are far from perfect.

Especially awkward, problematic people of teen age.

She claims Bender's unwarranted sexual assault in the movie is worthy of some kind of heavy-handed police action.  Maybe.  But Claire responds by vice-locking his longhaired head with her knees -- practiced as they are at locking -- then brutally assaults him in a fit of hysterical rage before sleeping with him.  Lesson learned.  

The bigger issue is that today, had Bender been problematic gay and accosted a man same-sex non-gender-fluid sentient being in whom he was interested in a similar fashion, audiences are likely to laugh at it the way we did back then.  But then feel bad because the same-sex non-gender-fluid love interest was not consenting -- the way we felt awkward because we knew it was wrong to do things Bender, and people like him, does in the film.  That discomfort is part of what makes it funny.

That doesn't make his behavior any less acceptable in real life but -- in a fucking movie -- it's funny.  Also, in the movie, he didn't actually accost the actress.  Hollywood, like the US government it represents -- The Moral Majority, as they are known -- has never been able to tell fact from fiction, so much so that they made a law allowing them to circumvent reality, and are now working to criminalize anyone who dares question what they tell you to believe.

In fact, they have suspended our Twitter accounts, and have now locked us out of our YouTube accounts without explanation!

Movies, TV, and radio were the social media of our age -- that's how the term, "Watercooler Episode" originated.  We watched them in theaters with dozens of other people (hundreds, by the Multiplex '90s) , so they were seen in a communal environment, and had a larger impact than the four or five stump speeches Hollywood churns out today.  Movies like The Breakfast Club and St. Elmo's Fire started discussions that never would have occurred otherwise -- discussions Millennials aren't allowed to have today, under penalty of Law. 

They were actually important films, not pretenders to the throne, and the insights they presented helped close the divide between groups and people who had little, if anything, in common.  These movies were what we had in common -- in many cases, just as in The Breakfast Club itself -- they were the only experiences we had in common.

They were not marketed as The Most Important Movies of Their Time, or The Most Important Shows You're Not Watching.  You weren't a racistsexistmisogynistantisemitewhitenationalist for not purchasing 100,000 tickets for schoolchildren to manipulate the Box Office results.  That they didn't have token Latinos, Blacks, and disabled persons of interest color is because that would have weakened verisimilitude, or suspension of disbelief -- something actors create all by themselves (that's why they get paid $1.3 trillion to make movies).

They had also just started busing the token kids in at that time -- yet another uncomfortable truth troublemakers choose to "overlook" -- so most of us didn't have those token friends The Hollywood People and Republican Party love to cart-out at certain events like the child survivors of Syrian bombings.  I went to a predominantly black elementary school, so I rarely hung-out with the black kids who thought I worshipped the Devil because I listened to Slayer -- I just bought Mexican dirt weed from them.

Yes, that is racist: I know they were holding them Dank Buds.

In those days, the Moral Majority -- those who knew best for all, because They had The Master Plan handed down from On High (ahem) -- pulled the very same shit they do today.  And guess who presided over the PMRC, and the hearings on what was Right and what was wrong, and who was allowed to say what?

Manbearpig and his Goddamn wife.  I swear to Christ.

Do John Hughes' movies hold-up today?  Absolutely.  Are they politically correct?  Of course not -- neither are teenagers, and neither is real life.

Well, I'm sure Molly Ringwald's teenager is, of course -- all actors' and celebrities' children are perfect.  You can tell from their mugshots.

Life, history, politics, reality -- and yes, people (especially people of teen age) -- can be ugly, and too often are.  These subjects are often separatist, racist, sexist, hateful, and demoralizing to people who deserve much better.  We should be emotionally and intellectually fit enough to observe these things as they are, and deal with them in that fashion.  But Hollywood, and its denizens, are neither -- and are far from innocent.

So, since everyone else has a soapbox for their cause celebre, and we're certainly moments away from having our little plug pulled (assuming this ever sees the light of day to begin with), I figure #MeToo:

The Truth is that every state in the US has unisex bathrooms anyone can use, and no one stands outside to monitor who is doing so... yet.

The Truth is that the KKK has every right to their little rallies, which are always attended by more Federal officers than Klansmen, and the way to end them is to not attend them -- or promote them, or glorify them, or glorify those who protest them.  Like you do Jehovah's Witnesses at the front door.

The Truth is that, if Nationalists really hated "Socialism," they'd refund all the government benefits they receive (nay, demand!) for military/defense contracts, and refuse assistance provided by programs like Medicare, SNAP, and those provided by Veterans' Affairs.

The Truth is that none of the men accused by the hostile #MeToo terrorist movement have been convicted, or even stood trial for a civil matter, yet a mere sketchy accusation is all it takes to end their careers and lives.  And -- just like the worst of the accused did -- these "activists" and "social justice warriors" use force, intimidation, and a myriad of terrorist tactics to silence all dissent, and suppress any evidence contrary to their unfounded accusations ("Their Ends Justify Their Means").

The Truth is that criminalizing every word, deed, and thought has lead to mass incarceration and the demonization of innocent people who are forced to become hardened criminals just to survive the environments in which pristine celebrities like Ringwald can't wait to place them.

The Truth is that the AIPAC/CFI-sponsored "Mainstream Media" is Guilty of innumerable War Crimes, Human Rights Abuses, and Crimes Against Humanity -- including Incitement, Defamation, Assassination of Character, Mass Murder, Sedition, and High Treason -- and no mere, fabricated "Law" (NDAA) should shield them from prosecution to the fullest extent of International Law.  This includes giant tech companies that dip in and out of the Media environment as it suits their purposes.

The Truth is that most of these people support harboring undocumented citizens as a form of indentured servitude, and those who have lived the majority of their lives in this country without criminal incident should be considered citizens.

The Truth is that, if celebrities and banksters want to disarm the citizenry, they should lead the way by disarming themselves, disarming their security, and employing only unarmed security at their too-posh benefit events for the Syrian children they campaign tirelessly to bomb endlessly.

The Truth is that you won't hear a single celebrity -- Sarah Silverman, Susan Sarandon, Rosario Dawson, and a handful of others aside -- say any of this.  And you aren't likely to hear us saying it much longer, either...

Hearing these horrible excuses for human beings preach on nothing more than the safest bets, hopping on every speeding bandwagon that passes their way, has become sickening to the point of criminality: 

I woke up the other morning to hear Gayle King say, "We can teach Hate --" and I turned off the fucking TV.

Molly Ringwald, like the (literally) drugged, (actually) brainwashed, Millennial Generation Hollywood is so desperate to get to the voter booths (but only if they vote Democrat!), should get over herself and step out of the echo chamber for a breath of fresh, L.A. smog -- and hope she doesn't get hit by one of them drive-bys!  (Relax, racists, it would be an acid attack or machete strike from atop a moped, were she in London.)  I doubt she sees a brown face six days of any week unless it's cleaning her house, and I doubt that fact occurs to her more than once every 40 years.

Maybe one day, these talented players of the Moral Majority will reunite and make a movie about Hollywood actors who hate the movies audiences love that made them rich and famous.  Co-starring John Cusack.

---
* There are over 50 sexes in the insect kingdom.  Shamanism teaches you not to follow the insects, as they exist only to eat, breed, and die, and have no Higher Purpose.  Bees have a hivemind and live only to serve their queen.  Meditate on that shit: That's what your esteemed cult leaders think of you -- you are a means to an end, and nothing more.  They are Defense Contractors, by the way.

© The Weirding, 2018

Perfect Blue

Perfect Blue

© The Weirding, 2018

Remembers MacGyver (1985-1993)

MacGyver

MacGyver, starring Richard Dean Anderson, was one of my favorite TV shows growing-up.  So when I saw it on Amazon Prime, I couldn't resist -- especially since Amazon is one of the few Roku channels which actually plays-through, thanks to my messed-up Internet.

It isn't hard to refrain from over-romanticizing it, as it is anything but flawless, but the original MacGyver is not bad -- in fact, I haven't watched anything but for several days now.  Like any weekly, the episodes are hit-and-miss, but they're usually at least as entertaining as I remember.

MacGyver is a show for little boys -- but not just any little boys -- the nerdy, little boys.  There was Hunter, The Equalizer, Spenser: For Hire, Magnum, P.I., and a zillion other, gun-toting, brook-no-bullshit badasses who were consistently only three days away from retirement and refused to play by The Rules.

Then there was MacGyver:

An attractive, well-dressed, well-mannered, wisp of a dude that one could be forgiven for assuming was homosexual.  He eschewed guns and wasn't a highly-trained hand-to-hand combatant.  Stretching suspension of disbelief for a super-spy, sure, but exactly the kind of hero nerdy, little boys who weren't on the football team (and were likely considered homosexual) needed -- especially then.  And maybe moreso now.

The only "movement" little boy nerds had in those days was when one jerk decided to kick our ass... and everyone else clamored, "Me, too!"  Not much has changed.

MacGyver -- with his goofy, rolled-out-of-bed haircut, and what were probably his sister's tennis shoes -- outsmarted the biggest, most well-trained, and over-equipped foes for seven seasons using only a Swiss Army (brand) pocket knife and the basic science we were supposed to know for Friday's Big Test... but never did, because we were too busy watching TV.

I once saw MacGyver fashion an H-bomb out of a paperclip, a lemon wedge, and the button off his shirt!  (They only ran that episode once.)  Fucked a young Teri Hatcher, too.  Although that's... that's probably neither here nor there, I guess.  (Little boy nerds hardly ever think about sex -- since they stay dripping in cheerleaders and shit.)

But MacGyver didn't just trot the globe, outwitting evil Communists and saving damsels-in-distress; many episodes focused on Conservation efforts, emerging technologies, "Culture Wars," and similar themes that rose above the formulaic, run-of-the-mill TV detective show.  It aimed high, and occasionally hit the mark.

MacGyver always tried negotiating his way out of situations; he employed Diplomacy and eschewed violence, and even his staunchest adversaries respected his resourcefulness.  He also managed to fall bass-ackward into smoking hot, divorcee pussy at every turn.  

But, again, I... I digress.

Of course, it's impossible to watch a show about a genius super-spy in the late 1980s without noting the dramatic shift in politics -- especially today.  You can't plain watch TV -- or check "your" e-mail, go to the movies, listen to music, or buy a T-shirt -- without being assaulted by some self-righteous, self-serving nonsense.  Kneel, don't kneel; #MeToo, #AlwaysHillary; #Resistance vs. Alt-Right White Nationalist Klansmen -- it is all bullshit.  

Still, I was struck by how hopeful the original MacGyver is, and not just politically -- especially since its run began during the First Cold War.  In those days, MacGyver offered hope that one might grow-up to be something other than a prostitute or soldier -- of course, being children, we had no idea that there was no chance for that.  It was High Fantasy at its best: The Poor Man's Bread of primetime TV for little boy nerds.

As a #BernieBRO (it's not sexist because I'm white), I am no stranger to the terrorism of identity politics and the terrorists those financial sectors employ, so it was also refreshing to be reminded of the fact that, back in those days, there was actual diversity on TV -- not a prison culture of loudmouthed supremacists on every side, forcing you to choose between Bitterly Stupid and Truly, Utterly Stupid... or "Activist bitches and [Basic] bitches," as some might put it.

In the halcyon days of Richard Dean Anderson's MacGyver, there was Holy Christ, She's Fine! Wonder Woman; Matlock; Why is This Show Still on without Kristy McNichol? Empty Nest; Black Archie Bunker The Jeffersons; Golden Girls; Where's Yo Daddy? What's Happening?; The Cosby Show; Facts of Life! (a spin-off from one of my other favorite TV shows, Old, Rich, White Man and His Colored Boys Diff'rent Strokes); Roseanne; Lady Matlock Murder, She Wrote; Seriously, Where is All Y'alls' Daddies!? What's Happening, Now!? -- and a host of other shows with a wide array of castmembers, characters, situations, and ideologies that are nowhere to be found today, despite the cultural appropriation forced "diversity" on every pro-FBI, pro-police, pro-military, pro-War, and "Who's that?" superhero reboot.  Which sums-up the whole of Network TV.

No matter your situation, identity, or culture, there was a show which approximated it.  Not only could you find a television show, or at least a character(s), to which you could relate, you were exposed to other cultures and viewpoints in an entertaining way.  And, back then, they discussed serious, relevant issues without turning it into a soapbox (Country Golden Girls Designing Women notwithstanding).

Many times, there was no real consensus; the characters presented the different sides of the issue accordingly, then the show just... ended:

Should Blanch's unwed daughter have an abortion, or become a single mom?  Blanch felt strongly about it, as did Dorothy -- then Rose laid it all out in her innocent, common-sense, Midwestern way before Sophia breezed through the scene and slayed us with a one-liner.  

Then, Blanch's daughter... walked out the front door.

Did she, didn't she?  We didn't know, and it didn't matter: Her story was told, the issue dissected, and Dan was about to sexually harass the shit out of Markie Post on Night Court.  'Cuz she was fine too, tho -- and that is okay.  Hell, that's great!  She knew she was fine, everyone knew Dan was a prick, and she gave as good as she got because she's a grown-ass woman.

Not every character felt the same, safe, "correct" (or Right ahem) way about things -- and neither did those of us watching at home -- and that was fine, too.  Man, it was great!  We didn't rush to our typewriters to hack-out a poorly-worded and heavily-misspelled death threat to John Laroquette, or start an NGO and organize a Goddamned protest march; we took a piss, grabbed a drink, then turned off the TV before Dan Rather hijacked our frequency (and waited for Johnny's monologue).

We tuned-in each week to hear these beloved TV characters lay-out these newsworthy topics almost as much as we did for the punchlines and car chases -- but it's the punchlines and car chases that we remember, because it's fun.  For every overwritten, intentionally obtuse, Julia Sugarbaker monologue, there was a smartassed quip to break the tension and ease all that angst and self-righteous frustration.  We got what Dixie Carter-Sugarbaker was saying, and most of us watching agreed with her (to whatever extent), but hearing Sophia Sugarbaker sing "Black Ma-an! Black Ma-an!" to That Gay Dude What Was in Mannequin was funny as shit.

And that was fine.  It was great!

No one burned down their neighborhood, set zoos alight, or destroyed relics; no one jammed-up the phonelines or stopped traffic; there were no petty hashtag wars, no gangstalkings.  Everyone knew Old Sugarbaker was racist, and Mouthy Sugarbaker was going to pull a Big Verbal Take-Down on The Evil MAN at the end of every episode -- and you either chose to watch it, or you chose not to.  That was it!

The only people who hated things like TV shows and music videos were opportunistic filth (ahem) like Jimmy Swaggart and Anita Baker.  And that Vice-President who couldn't spell potato... potatoe (sp?).  Whatever.

I know there's a MacGyver reboot (ahem), but I haven't seen it yet.  I'll take a stab at it, though:

Now, it's not just MacGyver, but a whole team of MacGyvers -- each just as important and smart and pretty and special (but not R-WORD "special" [the other R-WORD -- no, not that one: The other, other R-WORD]) as all the other, super-pretty but also super-geniuses (especially the girls and coloreds people of coloreds) -- right?

And, if even a single one of them isn't there, the rest of the MacGyvers and MacGyverettes and MacGyver-Sans and MacGyver-YeahSons are All Thumbs, despite the fact that they're all super-geniuses and shit -- until they radio-in to that one lost soul on the latest, in-house Unicorn App they developed for some much-needed guidance that only she can provide, and go save her first.  Because there's no way they can save the world without that bitch.

Even though they're all still just as pretty and special and smart... 

Because that's how it works these days.  

Am I close?

Then someone gives a Big fucking Kyle Speech about how the whole world would be a better place if everyone fell to bended knee at football games, or stood up, or voted for Hillary, or hated Trump -- whateverwhocares.  Then someone says we need more engineers, but they also mostly need to be colored girls, then they put on ridiculous, Erly Kuyler hats and march around or something.  I don't know -- who cares?  

Does that about sum it up?

At least kids are studying more these days since TV sucks so Goddamn hard.

They are studying more, right?  Well... that's why I support abortion.

MacGyver was someone a few of us who were truly marginalized (and still are) could look-up to.  He made being smart look cool, dealt with subjects in which we were interested that were rarely presented on TV (outside of boring documentaries and news programs), and gave us confidence -- the way She-Ra! or Xena: Warrior Princess appealed to some girls who liked fantasy, but didn't relate to He-Man because it was aimed at a different demographic.  Or the way Golden Girls gave our grandparents a "Voice in the Mainstream" (outside of televangelism).

Plus, he fucked so many single moms that he became a kind of surrogate father to little boy nerds who had, you know, sluts for moms.

So. That's Richard Dean Anderson's MacGyver. Gonna go eat a Tide-Pod. 

© The Weirding, 2018