It’s no secret that marriage rates are declining in many parts of the world.

Fewer couples are walking down the aisle, and those who do are usually older than the blushing brides and grooms of yesteryear.

But is this trend a cause for concern? Is marriage strictly necessary for a healthy society?

Let’s take a little stroll down memory lane to understand why marriage developed in the first place.

Marriage through the ages: The shifting sands of matrimony

For most of human history, marriage served an essential economic and political purpose. It allowed families to share resources, forge alliances, and expand wealth.

Marriage helped ensure inheritance rights and provided social stability. It was the glue that held communities together.

In the past, romantic love had little to do with marriage. You married who your family chose for you, with a focus on pragmatic considerations. Love matches were a rare luxury.

But marriage was still revered as a noble institution, a pillar of civilization. Social norms and legal policies all reinforced the notion that matrimony mattered.

Of course, times have changed dramatically.

Today, many cultures emphasize individualism over community duty. Women have gained financial independence, contraception allows romantic choices, and sexual mores have loosened.

With marriage no longer solely valued for its economic and societal functions, its meaning has shifted profoundly.

So in modern times, should marriage still be positioned on a pedestal? Does opting out really herald the unraveling of civilization?

There are thoughtful points on all sides of this issue.

But perhaps the most useful questions are simply these: What purpose does marriage serve for you? And what values guide your romantic choices?

Trying to Fit Cinderella’s Glass Slipper in a World of Remote Work and Equality

In past eras, love and marriage centered around community, economic functions, and well-defined gender roles.

But modern relationships have taken a radical turn, as renowned therapist Esther Perel explains.

We now seek an all-in-one partner who intricately fulfills the diverse realms of lover, co-parent, financial support, best friend, and confidant.

At the same time, modern coupling is founded on notions of negotiation, equality, and flexibility.

We no longer accept traditional prescribed roles, instead forging our own dynamic arrangements which are often subject to revision.

Breakups arise not from glaring unhappiness but from the pursuit of ever-greater fulfillment.

Contraception and financial independence further empower couples to steer their individual ships. Consequently, relationships now revolve around emotional and sexual intimacy.

Yet this quest for a perfectly customized partnership often fosters self-doubt and unrealistic expectations, a modern malaise.

How do we blend timeless romantic ideals with modern sensibilities?

The glass slipper Cinderella seeks may not fit so neatly in a landscape of remote work and fluid arrangements.

But with pragmatism, compromise, and understanding, we can craft relationships that, though imperfect, allow mutual growth.

The slipper may pinch at times, but the shared journey remains meaningful.

We neither need to force feet into slippers nor toss them aside.

With wisdom and care, we can ease love’s fit, making room for both comfort and magic in our intertwined lives.

What’s the Point? Re-examining Marriage’s Purpose and Pitfalls

If close relationships can fulfill our needs, does marriage still serve a vital purpose?

One of its merits lies in creating stable environments for raising children. Experts say that on average, kids fare better in two-parent households with pooled resources and caretaking duties.

Marriage encourages mutual investment in children’s success. For society overall, these stable nuclear units help produce well-adjusted, productive citizens.

Yet we must weigh marriage’s benefits against its trade-offs. Parenthood often derails, especially mothers’ career, and personal goals. This consequence is a major factor limiting marriage and childbearing rates today.

Most women still undertake the lion’s share of childcare, homemaking, and emotional labor. Their career ambitions and personal development often stall after having children.

Fathers also struggle to balance involved parenting with work pressures. But mothers disproportionately shoulder the domestic burden.

Add in the costs of raising children — over $200,000 on average per kid — and marriage’s appeal diminishes for many. It simply requires sacrificing too much.

How can we preserve marriage’s social benefits while easing its inequality and constraints? Rethinking societal support for parents could help — subsidized childcare, flexible work arrangements, and equal paternity leave.

With a more expansive definition of family and better support, marriage could remain viable. But its current form leaves many seeking alternate paths to fulfillment.

Choosing Freely: Making Marriage Work for Us, Not the Other Way Around

How can we reshape social systems and expectations so marriage becomes a personal choice, not a constrained decision? Here are five ways to do this:

1. Supporting Diverse Families

Traditional nuclear families no longer reflect modern reality.

Today’s families come in all shapes and sizes — single parents, multigenerational households, cohabitating couples, platonic co-parents, and more.

Yet social support systems often still cater to married parenthood.

To enable true choice, we must provide equitable resources for the diverse range of family styles in existence today.

Policies should assess needs, not marital status.

Things like tax credits, healthcare, housing assistance, and social services should be accessible to all households based on circumstance.

Judging or stigmatizing non-traditional families must end. It is time to celebrate the plurality of family structures fulfilling our relational needs. Love comes in many forms.

2. Enacting Supportive Policies

Laws and workplace policies often reinforce traditional gender roles that strain modern marriages.

Generous paid family leave, subsidized childcare, flexible work options, and tax relief for caregivers can ease these pressures.

Making paternity leave equal to maternity leave also encourages fathers to share childrearing duties.

Updating policies to reflect today’s dual-income households would expand choices around marriage and parenting.

3. Modernizing Societal Norms and Laws

Outdated norms around marriage constrain personalized arrangements suited to individual needs.

We could modernize laws to allow more flexibility in marital contracts regarding property, finances, and dissolution.

Pre-nuptials and post-nuptials should be destigmatized. Taking vows could emphasize the emotional rather than legal pact. Celebrating renewed commitments at 10- or 20-year milestones could be meaningful. The law should adapt to the diverse forms marriage now takes.

4. Offering Relationship Education and Counselling

Lack of relationship role models and skills erodes many marriages.

Increased access to counseling and courses on communication, conflict resolution, intimacy, and other relationship competencies could strengthen couples.

Positive psychology techniques can cultivate gratitude, forgiveness, loyalty, and commitment.

Relationships require ongoing work — arming couples with tools can prevent dysfunctional patterns.

Education empowering healthy bonds should begin early.

5. Expanding Opportunity and Choice

For disadvantaged groups, financial barriers often restrict marital choices. Lack of educational and economic opportunities impedes the stability required for marriage.

By investing in education, job training, healthcare, and housing support for these communities, we remove impediments to forming families.

When people feel confident in providing for children, marriage rates increase.

Fixing social inequities expands relationship choices. Removing barriers allows people to marry based on desire rather than constraints.

Closing Thoughts

Marriage has undergone seismic shifts as society has modernized. Rigid traditions faded as notions of romance, equality, and meeting emotional needs emerged.

This evolution is both liberating and unsettling. Greater choice allows more individualized arrangements, but also uncertainty. We all still seek loving bonds, though they now come in personalized packages.

Rather than fret about declining marriage rates, we should focus on building relationships — marital or otherwise — grounded in care, trust, and mutual growth.

The search for love remains integral to human experience. How that manifests will keep evolving, but the yearning endures. For now, marriage mingles tradition with change. And that’s ok — we’re all just fumbling through life, celebrating connections wherever we find them.

Let’s keep exploring this journey together! I’m eager to hear your perspectives on the changing contours of couples and family. Readers, please share your thoughts!

Written by Joanna Okey.

In the intricate dance of relationships, envision this: a couple, deeply in love, sharing dreams, aspirations, and promises for the future. Their compatibility feels like fate’s perfect orchestration — until the mention of a prenuptial agreement casts a shadow over their idyllic vision. Prenups, often a polarizing topic, have sparked debates and fueled misconceptions. Yet, let’s step back for a moment.

In the realm of modern relationships, where the intersection of love and practicality is a delicate balance, it’s vital to consider every facet. Many people, especially busy professionals trying to make romantic connections leading to marriage often face an array of challenges. Robin understands the complexities of this pivotal life decision: the misalignment of values, the mismatch of life goals, and the varying perspectives that color the dating world. Amidst these complexities, the question of prenuptial agreements emerges as a major point of consideration.

Several statistics substantiate the relevance of prenups. According to the American Psychological Association, approximately 40–50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce. Contrastingly, a study by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers found that 62% of divorce attorneys saw an increase in prenuptial agreements within the last three years. These figures underscore a practical response to an unfortunate reality — a means to safeguard individual assets, financial transparency, and mitigate potential conflicts in case of a split.

But statistics only scratch the surface. Beyond numbers lie real people, diverse in their views and reasons regarding prenups. *Alice for example, pragmatic and fair-minded, sees prenuptial agreements as a mutual understanding. She believes it caters to both parties’ desires. *James, however, cherishes the notion of absolute unity in marriage, finding prenups contradictory to the essence of partnership.

“Absolutely! I’d probably be the one to bring it up. I don’t have a lot of money but for me, the main takeaway is it brings total financial transparency & debt protection. I get how it can be hurtful, that in a marriage it’s meant to be total trust in an unquestioned way. However, it’s good to see the full financial picture with your own eyes and know that you are protected from past or future debts,” *Joan says pointing out that she values financial clarity and protection in any marital union.

In the same vein, *Nita pragmatically wishes to steer clear of potential turmoil in the unfortunate event of divorce while *Derek says “I’d sign it. I don’t see why not. Maybe I just don’t know enough about it but based on what I know, I’m signing. Her wanting to keep her assets on the chances we split is not reason enough for us to call off the union.”

It is apparent that opinions diverge on this subject. However, the narrative isn’t about condemning perspectives but acknowledging the diversity of viewpoints that shape this discourse. Prenups, far from being instruments of distrust, can be tools of pragmatic foresight — a means to align expectations, ensure transparency, and shield against unforeseen circumstances.

Robin recognizes the challenges that arise in navigating such complexities. For millennials committed to meaningful, long-term relationships, it’s essential to bridge these gaps. Our platform offers a space to navigate these nuances to ensure that you achieve alignment where your values and life goals are concerned.

So, should prenups be a prerequisite or a choice? The essence lies not in prescribing a definitive answer but in recognizing the validity of individual perspectives. In the realm of relationships, where beliefs, values, and goals intertwine, how can we redefine the conversation surrounding prenups, fostering understanding rather than judgment?

• all names have been changed to protect respondents’ identities.

Written by Joanna Okey.

You know those gentlemanly traits we’ve been taught to look out for, or perhaps, even imbibe? You know, acts like opening doors, footing the bills, offering your coat and rising when the lady gets up at the dinner table…

Some women swear by it, listing it among their preferred qualities in their dream man, while others believe it to be sexist and anti-equality, wanting nothing to do with it. On the flip side, some men view chivalry as a strong way of showing love and devotion to their partner, doting on them with the utmost “princess treatment” as the kids call it these days. While others argue that it is unfair to men, and makes the ratio of give and take in a relationship unequal.

Whichever way you swing, it’s undeniable that chivalry has been a part of dating and relationships for a long time and may very well remain among us for many more decades to come. We posed this million-dollar question to five singles: Is chivalry sexist or is it tradition? Here are their responses.

Fae, 27: A love language rooted in tradition

“I think it’s tradition. Some men love like that, some women want to be loved like that. As long as I am not taking advantage of you and it is not out of your capacity then love up on me, you know. For me, it’s all about a love language or a way to love more than anything else. I love it not because I feel weak but because I like to be loved like that. It’s tradition and I guess I’m traditional.”

Jacob, 35: Intent and Context Matter

“Chivalry can be sexist, if say, one takes it to its traditional & logical ends. That is, the idea that women can’t do things for themselves. But like all things that can be repurposed, and reclaimed it is also an expression of care & deep affection. It is both tradition & sexist, depending on context. Take for instance, hitting someone is domestic violence, but in the room, people asked to be punched, spanked, knocked out. Context is everything. If the person who does chivalry is sexist, then the gesture is sexist. If the person isn’t sexist, then best to interpret in light of that.”

Angel, 24: Sexism is embedded in it

“To me, it’s sexist and a sexist tradition cause the premise of chivalry is that women are weaker than men intellectually and are little above children. Chivalry is also one of the reasons why women are denied opportunities because after all ‘a man will take care of you.’ It also sees women downplay their financial capabilities and sees women never taken seriously when they have money. It is sexist because a man can open the door for you in the presence of people as per optics and still be a verbal and physical abuser. It is also sexist because it doesn’t recognize the full length of women’s humanity and is a way to make bare minimum men feel good about themselves.”

Christie, 29: It’s tradition mixed with reciprocity

“Chivalry to me is kind/courteous behaviour by men that is angled towards women or getting a woman. I think it’s tradition — a really sexy tradition. However, It can be sexist. It depends on the dynamics of each relationship. For me, I love a partner who is intentional about making me feel like a princess because I reciprocate. Like buy me flowers, open all doors, send me money, do it alllllll!”

Bayo, 26: It’s time for change

“It can be, and is, both sexist and traditional. However, tradition can and does change with time, so it doesn’t mean it has to continue. I see chivalry as supposedly ‘benevolent’ behaviours that men should express towards women. While it can sometimes be benevolent, it’s always sexist because it is developed based on specific discriminatory, oppressive and violent frameworks that see women as inferior, fragile and needing protection. It’s patronizing, at best, and a way of reinforcing women’s assumed weakness, at worst.”

Chivalry is far from a one-size-fits-all concept. Whether you embrace it as a tradition, see it as a love language, challenge its relevance, or find a middle ground, what truly matters is the sincerity and respect behind each gesture. Chivalry, when practised genuinely, can still enhance your relationships, by promoting kindness and affection without pushing harmful stereotypes. It can be done by one or both partners. In the end, it’s up to each individual in their own relationships to determine how chivalry fits into their unique dynamics and values.

This is precisely why finding partners who share your perspectives on life is crucial. If you desire a partner who cherishes chivalry, then it’s important to seek out someone who feels the same way. Conversely, if you have no interest in participating in these gestures, that’s perfectly fine as well.

No matter what your preferences are, our commitment remains the same: we are dedicated to matching you with individuals who align with your values and outlook on life. Through Robin, our dating app, you can effortlessly connect with like-minded people who share your perspectives, thus creating a strong foundation for long-lasting relationships.

Secure your spot on our waitlist here: joinrobin.co

Also, connect with us on our social media channels here — X (formerly Twitter), Instagram, and Facebook — to catch a glimpse of all we have planned for you, as we inch closer to our launch.

If you’ve ever used a dating app, hoping for a shot at something real and permanent, only to discover that all you got was mostly misaligned matches, hookup requests (hey, nobody’s judging… you just wanted more), and quite frankly, wasted time, this one’s for you.

Let’s start with a random fact: About 52% of millennials have used dating apps to find love, but only about 5% of them go on to maintain a long-term relationship through these apps.

The reason? Most dating apps today are primarily optimized to keep you on the app, rather than off it. Cue the endless swiping, the random “hi, wyd?” sent to about 20 “prospects” in one night, and the shallow small talk that ensues.

The gamification of today’s dating app experiences makes it incredibly hard for busy people looking for long-term relationships to make worthwhile connections. In fact, the simple act of swiping on multiple profiles has become so long-winded, that some would say it feels like a “part-time job.”

Here’s another interesting fact: 71% of Millennials search for dating apps with fewer spam accounts and more authentic profiles.

In sum, many millennials are looking for something deeper than “casual”, hoping to connect with people who share similar values and interests as theirs.

A random search of the words “dating apps” and “love” on Twitter will yield mixed results, with many polar-opposite opinions about how some people get “lucky in love”, while for others, it is simply impossible to make meaningful connections on dating apps.

Some opinions even border on cynicism, as they insinuate that it is unrealistic that anyone who uses a dating app should expect to actually make a long-term commitment to whomever they end up matching with.

However, in today’s world, where we hear so many success stories of impactful casual, professional or platonic relationships that started online, it is a no-brainer that the internet is an untapped goldmine that can be used to foster romantic relationships that actually enrich our lives.

The question then is not if, but how?

This is where Robin comes in.

Robin is a dating app specifically built with you in mind. The you who is incredibly busy at work, holding down the fort for your team, while taking time to ensure that you show up for your friends and family. The you who has burnt the midnight oil building a career, preparing for your future, now looking for someone to share it with. The you who is not interested in petty games, holding your convictions dear to heart, looking to lead your new connections based on shared values.

In short, Robin is the dating app for busy professionals who value their time and would rather make meaningful connections with other high-quality singles.

How does Robin plan to make this happen?

1. Through properly vetted community members: Robin has a multilayered vetting system by which we filter for bot accounts, and ensure that only accounts belonging to real people are approved. This reduces your chances of being spammed by unscrupulous elements.
2. Self-set matches: Robin’s algorithm ensures that your set preferences, which you can change at any time, will be used to filter potential matches to your feed. Whether you desire a match based on religion, sexuality, lifestyle choices, age range, career or finances, we leave all of this up to you, as we believe there’s nothing better than connecting you with people on things that actually matter to you.
3. Anti-choice overload: Choice overload is the idea that the more options a person is faced with, the more difficult it is to choose one to stick with. Coupled with the fact that the modern human’s average attention span is about 8.25 seconds, it’s not hard to see that in the case of online dating, the more, the less merry. At Robin, we’re concerned with giving you and each of your connections a fighting chance. This is why we have designed the product to ensure that you are only in active conversation with a maximum of 3 people per time. We believe that given enough time and focus, you’ll be able to conclude whether to further your connection or end it much quicker than if you were faced with limitless options.
4. In-person mixers: 84% of Millennials have stated that they would rather find love in real life than online. With this in mind, a major element of our approach at Robin is to facilitate in-person events where you can meet people where they’re at — fun, free, and happy. You’ll get to know if the chemistry will click right away, and more importantly, you don’t have to deal with the pressure of having your first in-person conversations on a first date.

So, if all of this sounds good to you, come along for the ride, as we introduce you to the world of Robin. Start off by joining our waitlist for early access. Don’t forget to share this link with your loved ones too!

If you’d like to share your story with us, feel free to write us at hello@joinrobin.co, because after all, Robin is for you, so your story matters to us.

Also, connect with us on our social media channels here — X (formerly Twitter), Instagram, and Facebook — to catch a glimpse of all we have planned for you, as we inch closer to our launch.

See you there!

Written by Joanna Okey.