You might experience the value of human connection firsthand

Every day there are dozens of headlines on Medium, on social media, and across the internet about AI-prompted writing and AI in our lives. The debate has become increasingly annoying and pointless.

I want to read about real human experiences, written by humans. I want to read poems that were written by poets who have laughed, cried, grieved, and hugged. I want to feel connected to the stories I read and the artwork I see.

There is something truly unique about human connection. I’m not a sociologist, psychologist, or neurologist who knows the exact words to explain what happens when two human beings start communicating and connect. But I do understand the value of human connection.

In Balkan culture, it is quite common to be direct and talk to strangers. Most of us converse freely with neighbours, shopkeepers, and street fast-food vendors whom we barely know. Even though I’ve been part of this culture my whole life, I can’t help feeling really enthusiastic and ecstatic whenever I strike up a random conversation that ends up being direct and honest.

Just this morning, I was having coffee in my local café, minding my own business and doing admin chores on my computer. After about an hour, my neighbour walked in. She said “Hi” enthusiastically and immediately we started having a conversation, shouting from one table to the other. At one point, she walked towards me (as if she wanted to whisper something privately) and ended up standing next to my table for more than half an hour.

The backstory to our previous encounters is strange. She barely used to say “Hi”. At times, I thought she pretended that she didn’t know me. I remember taking a little stroll and seeing her across the road. It always looked like she was trying to ignore me. I was an absolute stranger to her. Annoyed by her recurring dismissiveness, I started saying “Hi” really loudly when meeting her in the building hallways. I guess I was trying to reprimand her for her “rude” behaviour.

This kept happening until one day everything changed. It was the day my sister came over from New Zealand. Being in an absolute frenzy over her arrival, I ran outside to grab some sparkling water from the shop across the road. While running to the shop, I almost bumped into my neighbour while she was carrying a huge cake. Apparently, she welcomed her sister from the US that same day. We were both so openly excited and felt very lucky to have our sisters in Serbia.

Relieved at not bumping into the beautiful white-tiered cake, I yelled: “My sister is here from New Zealand! I’m so happy!” She immediately replied: “Seriously? My sister is here too! This cake is for her. Come over for cake!” And that was it. This shared moment of joy was a pure spark. A spark of recognition and connection.

We did not become best friends, nor do we have regular coffees, but today during our chance encounter, it felt as if we did. During that 45-minute conversation, we exchanged feelings and opinions about motherhood, womanhood, career, parenting, and resilience.

She did not overstep any boundaries when she kindly expressed her feelings about me being childless. I did not overstep any boundaries when I made comments about her maternal instinct. At one point, both of us ended up tearing up — slightly surprised, since we were strangers in a way. But our body language was relaxed, inviting, and warm, so maybe we weren’t?

Since this was our first real conversation, I realised that she wasn’t really ignoring me previously. Rather, she was just a mother of two kids, with a husband who is often away. She actually did not see me during our random street encounters. She was most likely tired from running around every day trying to raise them, or lost in thought, trying to overcome some of her daily obstacles.

The conversation I had with her that day was what a fellow writer once labelled as “a small wonder.” These moments might seem mundane, but they are not. They are brief moments of human vulnerability and connection that have the potential to turn into deep and meaningful experiences. We don’t have to understand the science behind it in order to feel it. The feeling is there.

Perhaps instead of relentlessly trying to figure out the human versus AI debate in all matters, just say “Hi” to your neighbour. There is a chance it ends up being a surprising catalyst — it might ignite a spark in your day or your week. And in that spark lies the true value of human connection.

Say Hi to Your Neighbour was originally published in Writelicious on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.