Tag Archives: acads

by

The Times They Are A-Changin’

Reluctant to add any productivity to my hours, I browse through the pics on my lappy – More than 11 GB of memories frozen in time, and many yet to come; sorting them and adding suitable captions so that I don’t have any trouble placing them in the jigsaw of my life eons from now.  Life, of late, has been a hazy, swirling motley of rushing moments – almost a blur. And, I have been trying, with little success, to make heads or tails of it. Too many things to do, and too little a time. I am already past my halftime in the game that has been my life in the col.

Pre-final year is neither here nor there. It lacks the uninhibited enthusiasm and optimism of the freshers; the settled complacence of the sophomores; and despite the overhanging doom of placements, a desire to move the world – that is the hope of the final year. Third year offers ceaseless panic and unrest. It bodes the arrival of a time when even the most complacent, ambition-less among us need to stop basking in the warmth of our success in JEE. Already, there have been sightings of various firms at our doorstep, seeking apprentices. They disappear almost just as secretly as they arrive and with every departure, there are rumors adrift of more and more batch mates being twisted to the Dark side. Rest others are choosing sides – making one of those crucial, life-transforming decisions of their lives: GRE, CAT, GMAT, IAS…, prepared even to sell their souls to the Devil (read: sacrifice the bliss of carefree weekends) in order to gain an edge over those lesser mortals who remain clouded by uncertainties. People are changing and so are the priorities, or probably it’s just my perception that has changed. World around seems clearer, if not better. The insecurities of adolescence are giving way to concerns of entirely different kinds and a graveness of sorts has crept in, where existed until only a while  ago, an innocuous indifference.

The usual night-long bakar sessions are a thing of past. Though still fondly remembered, they have given way to random Google Group activities and certain other awful, inexcusable acts like taking shots of the whole batch’s course grades and then tenaciously compiling them before posting it for everyone’s benefit on the aforementioned groups (The icing on the cake was really the mails that followed, with everyone desperate to garner accolades for the dastardly act.).
Bhawan CCs are no longer home to the wildly, almost grotesquely, colorful games. The cheers, jeers, whoops and those long un-punctuated strings of profanities have been replaced by dull, morbid faces lit up with a fell hunger for foreign internships. Of course, the admin had their own plans. Nothing less than prayers would convince the ubiquitous Gmail to open. It was almost bitter-sweet to see Gmail loading in Basic mode; meant for slow connections, even that seemed too much for our poor wi-fi.

That apart, the insti is changing. High-rises are shooting up everywhere, as if by consuming the greenery that existed at those places a while ago. A Student Activity Centre (SAC) is intended to come up, somewhere in the gaon, which may very well be on its way for a makeover. The all-too-familiar Nesci, that has been witness to truancy and romance for over ages may soon then perish, surviving solely in the memories of its famished frequenters. An unfortunate fallout of development, so similar to those of growing up…
Ever so often, the thoughts linger on those innumerous, wonderful dreams that were conceived of a mind unrestrained; of strangled dreams, abandoned on the path of adulthood just so that each one of us could confirm to the norms of this world. We all wish to be different, and yet are scared to take the risk of following the path less travelled, hugging close to the comforts offered by a crowd. They say everyone is special… but then that’s just a way of saying that no one really is.

by

Ain’t over ’til the fat lady sings

Whoever came up with the quote: “Sticks and stones may break my bones…” had never had my set of friends. Brutal honesty, expressed with an absolute finality of a coroner: “Your blog is dead!”, is sufficient reason to post soon. With the stench of mid-sems hanging in the air like some imminent doom, I believe this is what Coelho had in mind when he writes in ‘The Alchemist’: “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it…” – Just the perfect excuse for sitting in front of the lappy and staring away at the screen as blank as your mind.

It’s a rough crowd out there in the campus these days – students going berserk, profs going on strike. Even my otherwise hibernating neighbour was driven by a fiendish zeal, meticulously masterminding and executing his devilish plans. Aah! The evils of poli. The admin as usual remains clueless. Ignorance is sheer Bliss. When fights erupt between two rival poli groups, they shut down all canteens. I mean what do they think this is, some medieval-age castle warfare? Cut off their resources, choke all their escapes… With no rations, they are bound to give in sooner or later.

The only time I felt genuinely proud of the IIT-R faculty was when I came across an article in ‘Business Standard’ explicitly mentioning the Roorkee crowd opting for an additional four day leave as a protest against the insufficient pay hike. The happiness as such, was short lived. Not only was the strike called off, they even graciously accepted to keep Saturday a working day (How in the world did it help their cause?). In the midst of all this the students were conveniently forgotten. Couple this to the frenzy surrounding poli and SAC posts, and the humour is ironical.

———

Of late, I have acquired some unhealthy habits like going off to the library when the exams appear uncomfortably close. Not that they have really helped me a lot; except maybe raise my CG a couple of digits on the wrong side of the decimal. Yet there is hope. My blog survives….

by

Never an absolution

Compared to any ordinary mortal, I have always found myself to be relatively free during such days as these – bearing threats of an approaching midsem or endsem. Unlike the afore mentioned lesser humans, scuttling around in a state of hysteria, I can be found in my room doing… ummm… nothing! This apparent disposition of calmness which people may mistakenly attribute to my superior preparations, is more of a stupor, owing to the lack of the same. It is the hopelessness of the whole predicament and the acceptance of the inevitable doom that renders me worthless.

Interestingly, this uselessness gives rise to an ardent desire within me to immerse myself into all sorts of new ventures, just as long as they aren’t even remotely linked to my acads. First, it was the Rubik’s cube that caught my fancy, and hence ensued an unsuccessful attempt of learning to solve it; next followed an addictive spell of DoTA. Unfortunately, these whims of mine, rise and ebb with the tides of time – that are the examination season. Conforming with the traditions, this time around, it is gonna be my blog and my neighbor, The Sage’s guitar (which, incidentally, has been taken on lease from a particular inmate of SB; and conveniently forgotten by both the lender and the borrower – to my delight, I may add!).

Sporadically scattered across such suspended states of my existence are moments of panic which find me with a textbook – in a feeble attempt to justify my presence in the insti. More often than not, such a delusioned state soon culminates into another one with me daydreaming or better still, dozing off – the whole nine yards! Consistent through all of this is a thought gnawing at my mind – slowly, persistently – consuming, within me, any desire to savor that moment. It is the acceptance of my need to study combined with the realization that everyone else is doing it; and my innate disability to follow suit.

———

Piercing through the lulling melody of  the LOTR soundtrack, comes hurtling a string of curses and expletives of most ingenious kinds! Left in its wake, are the shattered remnants of a deathly silence that only moments ago haunted the narrow corridors. Someone just failed to make or break a new ‘Minesweeper’ record!  People stir – rudely awoken from their reverie. And a smug grin spreads across my face as I get back to finishing off this post. The world is so much more marvelous, if only you aren’t alone! The future lies safe still, with those of us who will defy all odds (and commmonsense!) and follow their hearts. Not everything is lost… yet!