Tag: Relationship

…Bob’s ghost, the rest of the story 

Now with the first part of this adventure still your mind,  you can understand the reality of the of our situation, as this cow is hooking at this, what appears to be a small piece of white plastic, my dog comes around to a juniper,  clearly annoyed at the straggler and gave her a hard nip in the heel.

This cow jerked her head up, takes off in a panic, brings this huge bellowing  white, twenty foot sheet of constitution plastic, completely draped over her face and horns, blindly racing straight at me and Bob. I figure the wind was just right to make float and flutter some ten feet in the air


The cattle I was holding at the water tank sensed the coming apocalypse, throw their tails in the air and stampeded over a nearby ridge and into the brush. Even the dogs ran off and left me and Bob and the giant ghost to work it out.


I had a few different things going in my mind as time slowed way down. I sure set down in the saddle thinking if Bob blows up or out I was going to go with him, or stepping off and manageing the situation from the ground, all the time wondering how much either choice was going to hurt.


I could feel Bob’s muscles getting as tight as a banjo string, and hear the air rolling in his flared nostrils, looking at a ten foot ghost wildly gliding through the trees and brush bellering bloody murder.


One of the last thoughts going through my head was that nobody would really know how I died, or it they would even find my body,  because in a second the wreckage would be scattered from hell to breakfast.


Now I’ll never know if it was because I was just sitting there on Bob’s back, deep in my own thoughts, waiting for the inevitable, and he  got the notion that I wasn’t concerned, but without a thought or motivation from me, this big young colt started to back up.


He just naturally started to create his comfort zone, and he kept going back at a deliberate pace. His ears where perked and head was high, and still blowing air like a steamboat, but he put himself in a stead reverse, turning slowly in semi circle, always facing the ghost at hand, until she had passed on by at a safe distance.


This poor crazed creature crashed into a big cholla cactus which really got her on the fight, before she was able to get free of that sheet of cow eating plastic. With great relief she shook her head one more time in disgust and embarrassment, and trotted off in the direction of the rest of the herd.


I was astonished at the out come of impending doom and felt myself relax, and as I did, Bob began to step forward right toward that now limp and lifeless shell of ghost material. In about a minute he put his nose on it, push it around a bit and then looked off after the cattle now appearing way down ridge headed away from whatever had been going on up there. Kinda like a bunch of kids that had just broke someone’s living room window.  


Some folks my say I was just lucky, (which i was) and others that  I’m a hell of a horse trainer (which I am) But I can’t really explain the feeling of connection it creates, its just changes life as a whole, to know that someone’s got your back. In the plainold times we spent experiencing life together, something happened to us both. We started to care about and care for each other.


This big red sorrel horse is one of the most brave and confident horses I’ve ever swung my leg over. We’ve been in the thick of it a time or two with wild cattle and the like, but we always have come out with a job well done, and all the important pieces still attached.


If we get in a situation and he doesn’t like. I don’t force it cause he’s looking after me, and if he’s after something and I pull back, he knows we’ll still get it. I’m just looking for a better way.


He has also been a wonderful part of sharing the passion and joy of horsemanship with the next generation. There aren’t any spokes big enough to change the relationship anymore.


I’ve come away recognizing that there is a natural response to relationships, we are all created to care and be care for. It is in our spiritual DNA. It is unnatural to have contention with other living creatures. We were not created  to fight, struggle, scratch our way through the greatest gift of relationship life and living.


I’ve observed that there is a big difference between what is normal and what is natural. Our human nature live in a shallow reality of repatriation that gives us a precipitation of normal, if it happens a lot it is the normal reality of life and we come up with ways to cope with it.


It was normal for Bob to blow up when he felt unsafe. It maybe normal for human beings to fight, struggle and scratch for what we need emotionally and physically, but it not natural. It is not created in us to live this way.


Bob naturally didn’t want to blow up when he was scared. He wanted to be relax and be confident, it just became a normal reaction.  My normal reaction was to get made and a fight for our individual survival could have ruined any hope of creating a great partnership of experiences.


Perhaps the saddest thing of all this is that we are encouraged to except this existence as truth from the very instructions that should know better. When a horse can respond to the nature of comfort and security in another living being, why can’t we?


Maybe it’s just that we have never been told. I have bought this realization up in relationship to the christian faith. If the nature of God is love, then it is natural for God to love and be loveable. The is not struggle within God’s thoughts and feelings as whether to love or not, He can love with ease because His nature in love so it is natural for love to come from Him.


Therefore if He has breathed His life nature and character into our spiritual created humanity, it is natural for us to love and be loveable. Therefore it is easy to love and be loveable.


Yet there is great resistance to this revelation, because it is normal to believe that that we are by nature hateful, and we must fight against hate with the choice of love.  


The cowboy philosopher in my came only say that we are looking at this horse from the wrong end. We will never appreciate the whole horse by simply looking under the tail.


We are loved, loveable and loving by nature. we don’t choose it, we naturally respond to the reality of creation.



This my horse Bob and my boy helping me take a first ride out side on a young horse I was starting for him.

Connections…


Connections…This word seems to have turned the corner on it meaning in life. It has in fact slowly been demoted to mechanics of progress that often creates more a challenging reality than our human nature can Endeavor.

We have minimize this word to a simplicity of finding the right end to put into the right hole, get the energy required, and it is maintenance free. There is no more effort need.

The mechanical simplicity of the concept also allows us to unplug the connection with little effort as well. Sadly this effortless mechanized connection concept in society a created a shallow reality of life. The energy of life having simplicity, is not intended to be effortless.

I sat in a room sometime back and just by nature began looking over the course of conversations and the people interacting, and to the life in that environment. Not just as an outsider, but as one added to the energy in that room, to the place itself.

What happens inside us every moment, affects those around us, be it school, carrier, family. Whether you are in a boardroom of fortune 500 company suit and tie or a branding pen with dirt in your teeth, we all create energy in our surroundings.

We were very different in all aspects of life. We had never met before. All closed in the area for a moment in time. There was laughter, joking, but also moments of sadness and somber conversation. We moved in and out of the the area and conversations, all at ease with one another as if we belonged there. (And may we did…, but not on purpose).

We were all of different ages, genders, culture, and world view. Yet there was something very different about the interaction of the group.

Now as often is case to me: my mind wandered to another time not so long back, when I was an active participant and looking over of the environment with another group of individuals with different that were designed to interact with each other.

So different to the fact that, only a few of the individuals could communicate with each other. It was a challenging endeavor to make anything positive out of this circumstance. Yet it had been done before and I was confident it would be done again.

For you see what I was looking over that day was a little river valley which myself, horse, had dogs had just splashed through, on our way to a hill that gave us position for the “looking over”.

It was a hot early fall afternoon, and we had been at it since sunup. The other group individuals in this microcosm of time and space, was seven mama cows and six big calves. Whom made it pretty clear, by about 7am, had a very different perspective of what this days activities involved.

It had been a long morning of riding to locate these wayward wards of the ranch, in all this rocky, brush covered land of the southwest. Once we had connected up with the other half of this committee off range management, our communication limitations became apparent.

This community is made up of two teams. One is in charge of eating the grass, and the other team is responsible for where the grass needs to be eaten.

As the team leaders, my horse and I must relay information to the other team leader (most often a older momma cow that knows the country and where her calf is. Cows have an inconvenient habit of hiding there calves in such professional manner as to not be able to find themselves ). The dogs as the other half of my team, are responsible for encouraging motivation of the entire community.

In cowboy speak this simply means: to turn a circle gather them up and headed to the gate. In this instance they were younger cows that didn’t know their way around around much yet and had scattered their lazy calves in the shade brush without a clue as to what shadie bush they had put it under.

They had found them a secluded little cannon that was unbeknownst to me until that day, and were quite confident in their choice of managing the range from this location. Needless to say it took a bit of bawling, barking and whistling to get everyone on the same page.

There frist plan of action is that mommas run off in all directions bawling for their calves, while there calves in turn pop up in various locations and run of in all the other different directions. And then they find it important to all gather up and run off in the wrong direction together. It takes a bit of cowboy grit and horse sweat to get the whole problem headed in the right direction.

Once we have them on a trail that is headed in the general direction, we can slow things down and let everybody drift along. There is no real contention among us, it just the nature of things, and it tends to be rather natural to naturally relate to each other this way.

(I’ve rode with a few folks at had great contention and it always end up with wild cattle, mean dogs, and horses that buck.)

I had ridden across the river to get a better look at what my cows had decided to do. The trail that lead to the river crossing, split off into several smaller trails, that snake there way through the thick heavy brush. The bushy tree like plant they call Salt cedar are loved by cattle and cursed by cowboys, lines the river on both side.

It is common for cattle to stay in the shade brush and go parallel to the river instead of going across. The brush is heavy for a long way to the south, and I’ve found it a great time saver for me to stay on the southern side of the trails, and let the dogs bring them across.

But as is the case they stop and were contemplating going back the way they had come. There was nothing to work off of, except the ability to creating a willing cow. The dogs couldn’t force them across. They had the advantage they could god up or down the river at will and never come home. I can’t force them to do my will…

Whether or not I knew it at the time, I have come to realize, that there a consistent spiritual connection with all created being. As I on that little hill l did know to wait. We often think that waiting is negative reaction that hinders progress.

In truth the feel of waiting is very positive feeling with energy in the connection of life. (I’m sure we can all relate to the feeling of energy knowing that someone is waiting for us at home or a destination. )

After some time I drifted my horse back across the the river, with those dogs trailing a long behind, in plain sight, so they didn’t get the feel I was sneaking up on them to trap them into something. And waited some more.

They sniffed around a bit and looked at the trail that lead out of the river on the other side, and with my horse shaking his head a bit, they simply stepped out and trailed up the other side. As I put them through the wire gate into greener pastures, I had very relaxed and pleasant feeling about me and a great appreciation for this little range management committee.

As I sat in that room that day I had the exact same feeling, relaxed and pleasant. It was a very positive and constructive environment. There was no contention between human beings and yet everyone was being human. It was a very natural to exist.

What caught my attention the most was that it was in a place that should have been the total opposite. A place that should have been full of contention, strife, fear, anxiety, and any other physical emotion you can imagine, was missing.

The place was a large common area room for patients of how had given up their lives by suicide. The clinical term is psychiatric ward for patients that have “tried to commit suicide”.

There was a retired hairdresser who took pills, a young man who drove his car into a freeway pylon, a young lady with rope burns on her neck, a homeless man who laid down in the freeway. And a middle age man with a bullet wound in the side of his head. And several other others not interested in saying why.

When the shallow truth of being human is revealed, there is nothing left but our Creator, and our being of humanity. Regardless my state of physical existence.

Everyone was being human and yet they were not relating to each other as human beings, but as our created nature of humanity. There seemed to be nothing left to the human motivations of being.

The only time I became aware of contention, anxious fears, and negative influences, was when human beings who wanted to help, focused their reasoning on how to cope as humans again. The concept of going back to the very lifestyle that bought on this place in time and space, was a disturbing concept.

We were not created to cope or survive, or to get through. These physical attributes will never give any value to our nature of humanity.

The true nature of compassion in us is a powerful energy not from physical emotion to action, but from our nature of our Creator that transcends the the shallow existence of the physical, even more so change the physical. But the greatest reality is not in our ability to change the physical but experience the spiritual connection of life.

Sitting there that day I realized that I was looking over the truth that there is a natural relationship of humanity that is most relaxed and pleasant when we no longer value the shallow human actions of life and that the struggle to live that truth would be the path less travelled.

The humanity of being human and the horse that could Go. Part two.

“We don’t need to see all of that. Just get on and ride it. “. Now folks when I heard him say that, I’m not near as big as this fellow, and I didn’t know if I could take him in a fight, but I do know I was mad enough to try.

But being the *christian* that l was. I made a choice to hold my anger in, and looked up and said to all three of them “If you want to ride this horse you best be watching what it takes”. All the time letting King move around and having him change directions every half circle or so.

 

There is eternal conflict when being human interacts with a human beings.

There was a bit low toned talking going on between the three of them, but when nothing more was more said from the big fellow. I went back to focusing on the horse,. But I stopped talking as much because I wasn’t going to waste my breath on stupidity.

 

(I did feel some bad for those ladys, seeing how they seemed genuinely interested in what I was doing, but this comment had killed any excitement in me to share my thoughts with them).

 

All I needed to do is show that the horse could ride around and get paid. So I just focused on old King and set him up for success. It wasn’t ten minutes to get him relaxed and willing to be saddled and rode. With Tom close by on another good saddle horse, I stepped up and swung my leg over.

 

I moved him around in all directions and gates. I was sure to let them know that he did not have much of a stop by just pulling straight back on the reigns. I could tell King was bored with all this fooling around in the arena, and would have rode best outside.

 

After about ten minutes there wasn’t much left to show them, and so as nicely as l could, I rode up to the women and asked if one them wanted to ride him, seeing how it was their horse.

 

They talked to each other for a bit, but before they had come to a conclusion, this big fellow pipes up and declares he’d ride him, and before I could turn my head, he was long striding back to his truck and drags, what must have been a good saddle at one time over the fender, and long strides it back.

 

At this point I didn’t care, and just stepped down and pulled my saddle off Kings back and handed the bridal reigns to one of the girls. Walked to my other good saddle horse and swung in, mostly because I just dislike standing around in the dirt when there’s a perfectly good saddle horse to be set on. And would also give me a bit more mobility if things went array.

 

That horse could feel this guy from a mile away, but he allowed this fellow to put that wearnout saddle on his back, with his head high and legs straight. Nothing good comes from a high headed horse. And I was a mite surprised that King hadn’t taken off and kick this guy in the belly on the way out by now.

 

That young horse let this fellow crawl up in the saddle, like an old lady climbing up a step tool, and reach for the gravy bowl at thanksgiving. But when he had made sure this gentleman was settled in that poor saddle. That colt did what God had created him to be.

 

That colt took off like he was shot out of a cannon, and keep running like he was in the Kentucky derby. This poor man in his broken down saddle was set way back, grabbing at what had been a saddle horn years back, with his bridal reigns pulled straight back to his to his chin, and his long legs straight out in front of him trying to keep his big feet in those sturps.

 

Just when you would’ve thought King couldn’t go any faster. he hit another gear as if he was trying to break the sound barrier. That fellow made a lap and half around the big arena, before the ride came to it abrupt conclusion. That young horse never bucked a jump, he just ran faster than this fellow could ride, simply fell off the back of a perfectly good saddle horse.

 

And that finally brings us to where we started in part one. And the great timeless truth of who we are as a created being. As I rode to the scene of the crime, things going through my mind, most of them are a part of being human. I was thinking about how arrogant…, disrespectful…, foolish…, stupid.., and most importantly justice… “I was glad he got what was coming to him.”

 

( I’m sure you can up with a few while reading this story as well)

 

As human beings, we all think on a very shallow plain of existence. We think that if we can label “it” we can understand it. If we can give it a name we can fix it. We call it good or bad, right or wrong, and then we can choose the appropriate emotion to “it”, happy or sad, anger or not angry, hatred or loving. And then life is the way “it” should be. We can then justify the bad emotion we have from being disrespected.

 

But even though I can now justify my emotions , my religion and social morality require that I must choose a different emotion for the sake of another human being, or perhaps to get the money he owes me, for the physical work I have done.

 

Now this is where the real conflict is. We are not created to live or be motivated by this shallow experience. It is in fact why ,in our human nature, we are never satisfied.

 

Our Creator breathed more into us more than the oxygen of this superficial world as wonderful as it is. Our first nature is our created spiritual humanity. A breath of relationship and fellowship with another with the same created nature, just as our Creator is full of this life.  

 

The power of our humanity, does transcend the circumstances of the superficial. That is why there is first conflicted with ourselves and then with other human beings, being human.  Because the life in us lives bigger than the physical ability of choosing emotions. This breath of life is constantly superimposing our created great value. This is our existence, be chosen though superficial mental reason and lived out, but revealed and naturally live in.

 

(It’s kinda like your house you don’t normally choose to go home every night, it’s a natural response. Why ?, because it is where all your good stuff is. It is natural to our physical existance.) If you do have choose by reason you to go home there something wrong with where you live, and you need to reason away that emotion.

 

This foundational truth is who our Creator is! This is what He creates everyday, like it is the very first day of creation. This what He feels, and thinks about all day long. Our only responsibility is revealed in our humanity in a natural ability to respond.

 

The superficiality of being humans lives in realm of Need.

We need love therefore I need to love.

We need respect so I need to be respectful.

We need to eat so I need to feed.

I need comfort and security therefore you need to obey the law.

We need salvation so I need Jesus.

You need salvation even more, so I need to get you saved. LOL.

We need to happy so you need to be happy, and make me happier.

 

I know you get the point and can come up with even better ones than me.

 

The great reality is that our humanity is created to naturally want.  

We want to have relationship with something greater than ourselves, so we have families, churches, groups and gatherings of all kinds.

 

We want to have fellowship (to being, have intimate connection), so we marry, date, have ball teams, and bars. Game night and movies night,  and church socials.

 

We want to know our Creator, so we search for the meaning of life.

We want to know our Creator’s creation, so we go to the bottom of the oceans, in plastic bubbles. We fly to the moon in an oversized coffee can, with less computer power than my toaster.

 

We are created to want. That is why it is natural to sacrifice in the physical. That is why we naturally give of our time and money. That’s why we naturally have faith, can believe, and do trust. We naturally have the passion of forgiveness.

 

We are compassionate. This is the greater reality of our existence. No matter where we are in the physical world or what has happened to us life. That is who we are because our Creator is that.

 

You may be asking yourself, what does any of this have to with a fellow falling off his wife’s horse? I guess the upshot is. What we think is reality, is the shallow presence of human beings, being human. Needing to control for the sake of the need to be of value,

 

And whats even worse, is when they don’t get what they deserve, when humans can Go through life arrogant, controlling, and in the end abusive. Taring down other human beings in thought and emotional actions. So we pray to a god of judgment and wait, hoping we will get see their demise, and when it doesn’t seem to be happening on this planet, we sleep in peace knowing they will burn in Hell.

 

Human beings so unnaturally cling to a shallow contention, with those we want a relationship and fellowship with the most. Believing this how it is. The reality is: our Creator is not in contention with our nature of humanity, He never was.

 

I was being very human that day. I was giving a lot thought to my money that was in his back pocket. But in the revelation of compassion (relating in my nature of our humanity), I see that there are so much more than who was the better horseman that warm summer morning.

 

I often wonder what feeling of insecurity, about money or marriage, job, health, that by his need, in thought, justified this big fellow’s emotions of arrogance, pride and control. Knowing now that the natural power of look through the shallow things of being human, is what see who we are created to be.

 

Thanks for stay with me. Tell me what you think. I am not interested in debate, but trust we can relate.

 

The humanity of being human and the horse that could Go. Part one. 

As that big fellow hit the ground, I knew he was going to hurt for a week… if he hadn’t just broke something. My partner and I, who had working real hard to make sure that horse didn’t do THAT, couldn’t help but  grow a big smile. If hadn’t been who it was, we’d having laughed out loud, (It’s a strange thing about cowboy humor, not all people appreciate it, and this fellow would have been one).

It’s kinda a considered courtesy out west, when a fellow falls off his horse, to wait a bit. It’s seems best to let a fellow catch his breath, find his hat and dust himself off before you ride over and ask the question “what happened?, trying to seem ignorant to the foolishness you just witnessed .

 

It slowly became apparent that no medical attention would be needed immediately.  My partner pulled it together enough to ride off after that Arab horse, that was still circling the arena dragging this man’s saddle.

 

I just pulled my hat down a bit and moved my horse to intercept his wife and daughter (in hopes of keeping them from being run down by their traumatized horse), who were trotting afoot across the dust to the seen of wreck.

 

I personally hate these times. We work so hard to created a relaxed and willing horse that a person can take home and have a great relationship with for a long time. Having to ride up there and seem empathetic, and come up with something other than “I tried to tell you…”, always goes against my being human.

It’s always a bit awkward to set there and not look smug, when you just spent forty-five minutes showing your clients what we do and don’t do at this stage of training. And  why we do and don’t do with your horse. And even ride the horse in front of you, in relaxed and willing way.

 

This is where we find a great conflict between the reality of our created humanity, and our being human.

 

Seeing that I’m very good at making a short story long, I will endeavor to not to fall in any proverbial gopher holes in this conversation.

 

I got a call one evening from a lady that was wanting my services in starting a five-year old Arabian gelding, it was a normal visit with the usual, “never been rode… didn’t know much about him…. Seems like a nice enough horse…Her daughter and her were hoping to take up competitive trail riding.

 

I  listened and quoted a price for the first month, which she replied with a hint of excitement, was a fair deal. She said that she lived on very large cattle ranch, that I was quite familiar with, some three hours north and would be there by noon cash in hand.

 

(Now let us just look in this conversational gopher hole for just a minute without stepping in.)

 

This ranch that she said she lived on was a big rough outfit. They had more cattle, land and horses than most people will see in a lifetime. Those boys that made their living there, were born with spurs on. They ate their breakfast on a the back of a bucken horse, and ate suppers on a back of a gentle one. So I quickly surmised that they were “horse people“.

 

She and her daughter arrived the next day in a timely manner. And commenced to unload this tall, narrow, bay Arabian gelding. Bigger than life itself and feeling he was worth it. Not surprisingly they called him “King”.

 

They were both very nice and eager for me to work with their horse. It was rather apparent that there were somewhat fearful of this thousand bounds of uncontrolled energy, and justifiably so.  I did make such to explain to them that 30 days of working with him, may not be enough time to create the confidence in him to be rode safely. But they were welcome to come out and see what we were working on. And we could asses where he was at mentally, and if they wanted me to keep working with him.

 

As a trainer I try to find out what the horse is interested in and begin teaching off of that talent. It was not hard to find out what King was good at. He wanted to GO. He was created to GO, GO everywhere, anywhere, fast and furiously, with complete confidence. Where he was, was  where he was supposed to be. He rocked his world and everybody needed to know that.

 

This youngest was living the dream, and having a person on his back had nothing to do with it. And to boot you could not wear him out. He was going to be an awesome endurance competitor, if you could ever get on his back and point him in the right direction.

 

And so with hope of creating awareness of the existence of a human being, sneak in some relationship through  leadership, we went to doing what he did best GO. You could sneak a rope halter on his if you distracted him with an apple, but that was it.

 

So just on foot with a rope halter and the longest long line on the place we had we to work. We went in huge circles very fast in one direction and then huge circles to the other. When he realized I wasn’t going to stop his god given gift to GO, but only ask that him for a certain direction. He began to notice me some.

 

Little by little the circles got slower and small. And after about three day he realized that he could walk if he wants to. He figured out that he could go back and go sideways. And before a week was done he could go outside the arena with another horse, I riding said other horse. I ponied him with catching cattle water and fence , we went over hills and river, brush and rocks. He figured out that his gift to GO, was even better than he thought.

 

He began to look for my leadership because when we went somewhere it was awesome. He even realized that his gift to GO could made cows go. And that where he went made the cows go where he wanted them to go. All of this before I even thought about putting a saddle and myself on his back.

 

Having a relaxed relationship is what we are created to want, and the big ship we are naturally created to use is, compassion.

 

As the first thirty days came close, I was aware that most people won’t take the time I was having to take, to have a relaxed ride. Young King and I were still working on controlling speed by direction.  The smaller circle the slower the pace, until the feet “stopped on the bend”. Pulling straight back on the reigns just made his head to come up, his body tense and his feet go faster. We didn’t have a lot whow in our Go.

 

Sadly nobody had come out in a whole month to see the problems and progress that King was making. I called with in the last week of training as I always do, to give them an honest assessment of were their horse is in training and asked what they would like to do.

 

I’ve always been very straightforward with clients about their horses. After the first thirty days they can consent to more training or pay the bill and take him home. I always want make sure they are confident and have gotten their moneys worth.

 

With a bit of reluctance she agreed to letting me continue training and promised to come out and see how comfortable she and her daughter in riding him. But within an hour the phone rang and a very gruff male voice informed me that they would be out in the morning to get “that horse.”

 

(Now given the fact that they lived on this big cowboy outfit. I was expecting for some tough cowpuncher who was half horse to step out of the truck and show me how it done. )

 

I informed my training partner of the next days event, because we had a very refined system for riding king that included Tom being on another good saddle horse ride when I rode me. There were still some relationship issues and it was good to have another horse for King, and Tom for moral support,  even if it was just to call 911. If he wanted me to ride “that horse” I had no plans to ride him alone.

 

Tom and I saddled up a couple of good horses but left old King alone so that these folks could see him fresh out of the stall, and what it requires to set him up for success.

 

All three jumped out of the worn out Ford truck, and this tall, lean forty something, fellow came striding up and shuck may hand in a hard cold manner. It was one of those moments when I knew this was no church social we were about to commence with.

 

I brought old King out and began to let him drift out at his own pace with not so long line but gave him some slack to see how he was feeling. I was talking to them about letting him pick the speed me picking the direction.

I was two minutes of working with King. When this gentleman interrupted me forcefully. “we don’t need to see all that. Just get on and ride it”…

Now folks, like always say, if you can’t say it in 1500 words say the rest in part two. Hope you will come along for the rest of the story.

Leave a comment and tell them when to publish part two.

The 7,10,12 Steps to a better…

Several years ago I was asked to work with a cute red and white paint horse pony. In Norman Rockwell picturesque concept, a father and his 7-year-old pigtail blond daughter, had gone partners on a dream of equestrian bliss.

I have always had a passion for sharing my love for horses and the magical experience of riding people, especially with eager “youngens“. And so I had no issues with taking on this project. Seeing that this miniature Annie Ocklie had not been “ahorseback” that much, I worked out a plan with the dynamic duel in which I would work with her little horse on the weekdays and she promised to come out and learn about how to create a partnership with Strawberry .

While talking to the father on the phone before this little mare arrived. He related to me that Strawberry’s former purpose in life was as a carnival pony. Which entailed being tied to a metal bar walking in a circle with other carnival ponies, while little children, lathered in sunscreen and hyped on cotton candy, wiggled ,whining and screamed on her back in five-minute increments. With that same carnival music, and flashing cameras.

Needless to say, after relating this information to a cowboy friend who helped me work with the tough ones, I was given a good share of cowboy humor about the type of rough stock I was having to take in just to pay his wages.

Now Strawberry was around 13 hands high, and round as a pickle barrel, not so short as to have my feet dragging the ground, but still a humorous site for onlookers. She was about eight to ten years old, with kinda “what ever ” disposition, and as gentle as a professional carnival pony can get. There was just nothing the could scare this horse.

Sitting on her back wasn’t a training issue. That little girl could have moved into that saddle till she was twenty, and old Strawberry wouldn’t have cared less. But it became rather apparent that going somewhere was the challenge in this relationship.

She would walk for you, but only in a circle to the left. Everything moved in a circle to the left. And only for four to six minutes. Always and I mean always walking. never trotting or looping. Once you put a saddle on her back. She moved in a slow consistent walk, in a convenient circle to the left, for a short period of time.

I earned my fee and then some opening the door to the right. And little by little it became a straight line. Amazingly enough, she started going to places and become a real horse who wanted to see what was over the hill with someone on her back . Her “horsenality” came up and although we had to “relationship” our way though some insecurities, she became a lot of fun to be with, and in the end a wonderful partner to share in the dreams of a little girl.

It is always an amazingly rewarding feeling when you have the opportunity to help someone with their dream. I believe it the motivation of life to connect in our humanity. See the impossible become reality. It is un-natural of our created humanity to discourage the dreams in others, and only is accomplished by our reaction to our individual disappointments.

We are all dream makers or dream takers.

I have a feeling that about now you’re waiting for me to give you a bunch of clichés about getting out of a route, because I feel the influence of taken the easy road and just say what others said. But I have come to realize that if all we do is quote someone else, it is not real in our lives.

Being created to feel creative, but thinking we must have ordered constancy, leaves us conflicted in our existence.

A few months ago I needed to replace the internet router in our house. I went to the nearest convenient box store. Which conveniently had several different kinds, all conveniently in the same place with in the building itself.

I love *quick and easy,* so that I can quickly and easily get to more important things, that I hope will be quick and easy also. (I like to call this mentality: the horse race with no finish line).

I am a price shopper, and the prices of the different types routers are conventionally located right there below the idem. I never buy the cheapest one, nor the most expensive one. I quickly find the midrange router and simply look at the easy to read institutions. The big selling point for me was when it said, “1,2,3 easy setup”.

Life is so good when we have convenience. We need convenient order and consistency. Getting back to the house. I quickly begin to set it up. (knowing how much of a need there is for the power of WiFi, which magical allows the family to sit in the living room,watch t.v. and Utub at the same time).

Opening up the little set up instruction book, I soon realized that three steps had become seven, and the seventh one opened up to another five steps, and in the end was right back with step zero: having no Wi Fi.

(Now folks by the time I was done, I could have conveniently built my own router with a curling iron, old horse shoes, and extra lawn mower parts in barn).

I have come to see that there is a great conflict between what we believe we need in the physical, and what we were created to want in the spiritual.

We are created to want a spiritual connection with our Creator and His creation of humanity, through feeling. Our lack of response to this reality causes a need for ordered steps of convenience.

Now that l have WiFi again, l can get my steady dose of emails that are intended to help me feel better by meeting a need. I get most that say: Five ways to build your retirement. Three things to know about your credit. Four steps to a stress free life. Two ways to a better relationships with your spouse. One secret you need to know to help you poop.

I’ve noticed also that the bigger of a “hot mess” we are the more steps are involved and the more time must be invested. It take 30 days to love Jesus more. 60 days to lose the weight you wanted and keep it off. 90 days to the yard you’ve always wanted. (And all for only the cost of a cup of coffee a day).

And when your life really sucks, we need the circle steps. 12 steps to sobriety, that brings you back to step 1. There 15 step approach to getting out of debt. Which seems to be headed in a straight line until you actually spent some of the money. Not to mention all programs, meeting and gatherings that must be attended for life, in order to see any improvements to the issues of choice.

The humor in all this is that we have to be taught to live like this. Our physical beings are trained to live in a circle. Our individual circle may cross my cross the path of another’s, but the very idea of the circle is that they quickly go in different directions again. All because of a manufactured need of convenience and simplicity.

It seems that we believe our personal human being powers are most useful when used in the direction of the circle.

(Evidently l was offensive to someone the other day for making a comment that “roundabouts” at traffic intersections are “stupid”.)

I find it intriguing that, for the sake of the presumption of needed convenience, that a straight line with signal lights, which would require interaction with other people in a patient and caring way, is not as safe as controlled chaos of the circle. Apparently other people are an inconvenience.

Watching that little red and white paint pony out in the pasture one evening, I noticed that she did naturally walked and run in straight lines, turn to the right with ease, while grazing and relating to other horses.

It wasn’t that she was created to walk in a circle for five to seven minutes, it was created in her that this was her job/purpose, and as noble of profession as it was, it was a shallow existence.

Perhaps, for the sake of convenience and simplicity and most importantly safety, I should have just convenience that little girl that: “this is what good horses always do. This what good riding is. This is how all horse people ride. We real cowboys/girls always ride in a slow circles, to the left, for six minutes. Isn’t this a wonderful life, just liven the dream! “

I’m often reminded of old Strawberry, when I confuse my job/work, with my the reality of who our Creator is, and what He breathed into our spiritual humanity.

We are created with the DNA of relationship, and recognize that it functions best in a straight lines, at different speeds. (Sometimes with signal lights that turn red.) Always with twists and turns, in all kinds of adverse conditions, inherently dangerous: this is who we are.

It is the spiritual that influences our humanity and motivates our being human.

Creative consistency and consistently creative. Or Controlled confusion and confused control.

My wife and I have a small outfit on a mesa with a beautiful view of the mountains to the north. Every day, all day, and even at night, the view is there. It is a constant reality. Yet depending on the time of day, week or month, the view is different. It i a created reality. Which I am confident is intended to create feelings (spiritual influence that is intended to motivate a physical response).

Every morning as I’m out doing chores. Filling water tanks feeding horses, doctoring on something sick or hurt. Not to mention it may be in the snow or cold, wind or rain, mud or dust and heat. (Often all at the same time! ).

And on any different time day or season, the reality of a leaky water tank, a hay tarp frozen to the ground or blown away, no gain and or the wrong kind of medicine. (Oh and the dogs got into trash, and we had chickens for a while, but that a whole nether story). This reality I am also confident it is intended to create feeling.

You may be wondering why I am confident that difficult physical views on life create feelings. Because: and this may come as a shock to some people (mostly *christians *) , we are created to feel spiritual influences . This is who our Creator is. He is the spiritual reality that we are created in the likeness and image of. We are therefore spiritual being first.

It is no different from physical feeling. Touch your spouse on the shoulder is something she feels, that will create an emotion (motivation of a physical response). Our feelings are our spiritual connection to our Creator and our created humanity.

Like it or not we are in a world of spiritual existence. Living in this reality (truth), opens us, not into a simpler way of living, but in a more full way. It’s a lot like coming to my house. When first entire you come in through the closed in porch. It has roof and walls some rugs, a bunch to sit on and even some places to hang coats or other clothing. We appreciate our the porch, it is a very useful room of house.

But now if you were to come to our house to for “acoupleadays” ( a couple of days). And we ate and slept on the porch, you’d not take long to find this is wrong. There is something wrong with the house or me and my bride. We could feed you the finest food ever cooked, and give you silk pillow cases to sleep on. You might even stay, you may even have a good time us while you’re here. But you will ways have an uneasy feeling about that visit. And it will change how you feel about me.

Why? You may ask. Because it’s a part of our physical nature to know that is not what the porch was created for. My wife simply told a carpenter she want a simple porch a certain size and he built us porch. We did not come home one evening and open the screen door to a living room .

It is just wrong to deny, devalue or simply reason way the feeling (environmental influences) that exist in our existence. And honestly it doesn’t work. We are spiritual being, and many of us are sleeping on the spiritual porch. Some of us as good human beings are trying to choose by reason (of insanity) only the good ones. But this like sleeping on the porch with the door to the main house open but not going in.

By now you might be wondering what about the chores? Just get them done. Doesn’t matter how you feel, you wanted a place with some land and livestock, just get the fences fixed. (Have you ever been on fence line with a person sleeping on this spiritual porch? )

I lived a long long time believing that this was the way we as individuals were created to exist . It was a fight to get things done. A struggle to choose the right attitude. Life just becomes a world of conflicting emotions, actions and choices from with in our selves and other human beings.

Life is exhausting and become a world of controlled confusion when we are sleeping on the spiritual porch. The sad reality of this way of living, is that we believe our human being character, of mental reason and choices will is created for us to navigate through a spiritual existence. And live in a waste land of need.

This mentality of the choice *free will * is a lot like playing a game of rock, paper, scissors. No matter how smart you are you have a 66.66666666 % of losing ever time. The mind and the body were not created to be the controller of our spiritual existence.

When we live in our true nature, as a spiritual being first, we find a greater reality of who our Creator is. We see that He is energetic excited and pleased with what He creates. That He is a constant Creator. And the creative constant in our existence. It is the ship in how He relates to us. Because we were created in His likeness, to respond to the nature that is our DNA to create and be creative constantly. The energy to respond is natural to our total existence, because it is His nature to respond to His creation.

Let me comment here, before we run off down another religious rabbit hole, that this not some magical truth for the sake of simplicity and ease. There is a huge difference between physical compilation and spiritual complexity. (But that is for another blog)

Two nights ago I came to this little place of our, and saw the dark sky filled with bright red and orange smoke, at a very close distance. My personal existence was overwhelmed with feeling. Fear and anxiety and anger were the big ones. To simply over ride those feels and started making choices was my physical desire. Yet living in a deeper reality allows me recognize that those where not the only feeling influencing me.

The energy to respond to what is created in me by our Creator, allows me to do more than just suppress the feeling of panic. It allowed me to be creative in putting a plan of action to work. I simply gathered all livestock to the pens where a fast-moving grass fire would burn around them, if I didn’t have time to get them hauled out. Hooked up the tuck to the trailer and maybe the greatest feeling to respond to was wait.

It allowed me to feel confident in our humanity, knowing that the people fighting the fire had the same creative desire in them. Live that reality I was able get my place in order and then seek to help others, knowing that it would be easier for others if I needed help.

It all worked out and no porches were lost to fires while writing this blog.

The richness and fullness of life is in the experience of feeling. Our Creator’s nature is of constant creativity that may seem to us, in our individuality, as complete chaos. It may feel like He doesn’t care or even exist. But that is not reality. Our humanity was created for change to new and fresh experiences.

Our mental capacity to reason through and choose the right and wrong, good and bad is a shallow existence that we where never created to experience. We where created to feel, recognize and respond. You may think I’m just playing with somatics. But there is a huge difference between choice and response as to the type of ship we create to relate with.

My wife and I where on the couch watching tv and she said to me, “I’m cold can you get me a blanket.” To recognize her feeling of desire for comfort, and my feelings wanting her comfortable, I naturally respond to her request. I am relating to her humanity through feel. I’m not cold but I have been, and l know what it feels like for someone to care about my comfort and the feeling of a soft blanket. (And yes l do this every time because I super husband).

Sometimes I feel tired stiff and sore from the day, and will respond with irritation thinking “I’m not cold, why am I getting a blanket, if I was cold I’d get one, but I’m not… it’s not even cold in here . Boy just wait till January… she will know what cold feels like. I remember last winter fix the tractor in ten below weather. Now that was cold and I still got my own blanket “. But then over ride my feelings and choose to get all the way up from the couch, walk all the way over to the blanket, pick it up, and walk all the way back to the couch and hand it to her. I have chosen to do this task out of *love and sacrifice*. Right? Not!

Now she may the value of my choice of sacrificial love and just be happy she didn’t have to go through all that just to be comfortable, but this ship in our marriage of relating (which is designed to be big and able the sail over deep and stormy waters), is a shallow, leaky row boat, with a broken ore. The action of choice don’t add anything to design of the beauty of marriage.

In the end our personalities are more often drawn to the superficial and shallow things of life to created a sense of self worth and purpose. Much like walking on the beach as the waves roll in and say “I’m swimming “. Our desire to control the perceived confusion of earthly living is not what our humanity was created for. Our humanity was created for the feeling of experience of change.

The ship of relating.

From the moment I saw this tall, young, handsome bay gelding. Who had good dark feet, strong cannon bones, great muscle in the shoulder and hip, and not to short in back, I sure was I hoping I had enough money to buy him.

I was A young wannabe horse trainer, looking for something to train and do my cowboy work off of. In hopes of making a profit in the fall or next spring. And this good-looking son of a gun was going to fit the bill just right.

As I watched him being rode out back my hopes rose, he wasn’t very broke at all. This should keep his price down, because the big money was in finished horses that you could do days work on and still trot back to the pens in the evening and still be in one piece.

By the time he came in the auction ring my heart was pounding. I stood close to the rail and looked hard at his legs and feet as he moved around to make sure I wasn’t missing anything. I just watched that horse and listened to the biding.

Now at this stage of my life and for a long time, I just lived on my dreams and not on a lot of money. I had what I needed and not much more, so with only a the little extra cash I had in my shirt pocket, I was going to need some Devine intervention, if I had any thoughts of taking this colt home.

My idea was a simple enough one: buy a good horse cheap and with some time and hard work sell high. Just simple American capitalism. I’d had a bit of success with this business model to this point. (Until I got to the part where you are supposed to save the profit to grow the business)

In any case, I was a prayen man at the time, and standing there at the time, I did a bit of it. When the biding slowed down and he was still fordable, I waved my hand. He went up another 50, (and biding again for me would empty my shirt pocket) I waved my hand again. And in thirty seconds I was the owner that colt.

I will never really know how I got this vision of being horseman. But by the time I was 15, I just wanted to be around them and on them. There was this fascination with the concept that you sit on their backs and they would go places with you up there. And even go places that you wanted to go, if you communicated with them in the right way. (Which of has become a life long obsession).

The fact that with their size, power and intelligence, they could just as easily bucked a person off and stomped you 6 feet under, (which of course has been an obsession to avoid this situation from occurring), and don’t is amazing.

Now I’ve come to learn over these many years that the ultimate goal of a good riding horse, no matter what you do with them , is to create a relaxed and willing disposition. When you have that, you have a pattern. And having a pattern helps a lot when tough times come at you.

At twenty-five, I had worked with and for several good horsemen and a few not so good, and had learned from them all. But the truth is: where knowledge stops, frustration starts. And after a week of working with my new horse/partner, I became frustrated. This big handsome bay, just wouldn’t relax. He was fearful at very thing. He would jump, buck or run away from anything I tried to do with him. And when I tied or hobbled him to limit his extreme reactions, he pull back, bit and kick.

I couldn’t even saddle him with out a huge wreck every time. All my hopes and dreams of becoming a high dollar horse trainer where on the top of his back and he had no interest in me being up there. Needless to say I began to feel insecure about by human/being powers (my physical abilities), and become impatient and angry.

So one cool spring morning, I drew my line in what I assumed was a battle of wills, put on my “bronc stompen” hat, and set to ride this horse. I’d rigged myself a set of hobbles to immobilize his front his feet so that when I get on I could jerk them lose and we could have at it,

(Now to set this scene, and to be in compliance with full disclosure mandates of camp fire story telling requirements. Let me add, that I was working on an outfit all by myself, there just wasn’t any one else there but me my dog and a string of saddle horses. All I had to train in was a large pipe corral, which didn’t matter to me much at this point, because I’d have ridden him out side if wasn’t for all the trees.)

I’d rode some bareback and saddle boncs in rodeos and I was petty confident that he couldn’t buck as hard as those horses. And so with angry determination I slipped myself in the saddle. To this day I do not remember if I jerked those hobbles lose or not, but I do recall seeing the curvature of the earth, because him took off like a rocket ship and landed harder.

Being the professional that I know myself to be in my mind, I stayed with him more jumps than most cowboys I knew would have. It’s interesting how quickly my angry determination turned into a determination to survives, or that best minimize the hurt coming my way. Just as I was prayen he would level out he took a hard jump to the right and crashed into the ground.

To make long story short… He broke his leg and never got up. The feeling of that experience has never left me to this day. The sadness, grief, disappointment, and overwhelming longing to have time go back 5 minutes, is still very real in my memory.

The timeless truth of all this, is fear is a destructive feeling. Creating fear in others will not ever… give any individual a relaxed and willing disposition. This young colt didn’t  want to be insecure,  which in turn  created fear and fighting, no more than I wanted to feel frustration, which likewise created angry. Forcing that colt to be willing, relaxed and respond to my leadership with greater fear was never going to work.

We all live with insecurities and we all find ways to cope, adjust and escape. We all feel pressures of life with in use as individual human beings. Yet the spiritual reality is that we were not created to be fearful, nor were we created to create fear in others. 

We were created with limitations which when viewed from the reality of my personal human being, will in fact cause insecurities. But the desire to challenge the insecurities of another person, instead of being connected to the limitations of our created humanity, is not who we were created to be.

We as created humanity were made (fashioned) to feel and be secure, at peace, relaxed. why? because we were created in His likeness and image. He breathed His life into our humanity. God’s nature is that He is restful, so it is in our spiritual DNA as well. This reality never changes. 

Fear in all reality, is felt in absence or disconnect with our Creator and our created humanity’s true nature. It is not naturally what is in our created spiritually DNA. That is why we feel uncomfortable when we are influenced by the fear.

The conflict of our naturel humanity and our individual human being character, have everything to do with relationship. Our Creator’s nature is one of relationship. In all reality God created us not because He needed to, but because He wanted to. It is who He is, right now in this time and space. To often we focus  on forcing our personal human character to do what our humanity was created to do naturally. Nether I nor that bay colt, were created naturally for that moment. We were created to be at peace, but in my unnatural response to the feeling of fear which emoted (emotion), cause me to act in anger… to the inevitability destruction.

Now I’m not a linguistic expert, nor am I very knowledgeable about water craft and nautical navigation, but I do find it interesting that the word ship is connected to the concept of relating. I am confident that the whole idea behind the boat is the desire of not drowning. Our bodies were not created to be in water for long, so we created the boat. The more water the bigger the boat and soon you have the ship.

The nature of the ship is to coexist with the water that then allows us to survive. It is by its very existence ment for a fluid on going experience. I not nuclear physicist but I believe that is why rocks don’t flout.

I think we can all agree that there is a big difference between relating and relationship. And that most coexistence breaks down,  when we simply relate. And just like taking a trip on the water, and though there are risks and dangers, there is a natural desire to take care of the boat, knowing that it is up to forces out of our control that will determine the length of the journey.

The experience of horsemanship is even more blessed than sailing, in that it is another living creature, that you relate with. Horses like us, were created for relationship. Given the right ship in relating, they will carry a person though any challenge in the journey. I’ve ridden good horses through blizzards, floods, and fire, over mountains and through deserts just because we had the right ship in relating to each other.

In truth the horse man relationship is created for both of us because without each other, neither of us is as good as we were created to be. We are filled with negativity, fear and ultimately destruction, when we respond to a different reality.

We will not know our individual personality, until we realize our created humanity. We will never live in the experience of our created humanity, without responding to the nature of our Creator who has created the same nature in our humanity.