Happy 14th Birthday, Kara!!!

Happy 14th Birthday to our beautiful girl!!  Is she really 14?  Has she really been home almost three years?  Is she really only two years away from driving?  *gulp*

As I watched her walk the docks and listen to her iPod, it was surreal.  She has grown into such a beautiful, young lady.  I have seen many changes in her in the past year.  She has always been very responsible with her own things, but now I have seen that expand into other areas as well...  her dedication to her schoolwork has grown even more this year (Hello, Honor Roll again!); she typically does her household chores without having to be reminded; she realizes that to become a better golfer, she needs to put forth more effort into her practice; she takes great care of our new dog, Bogey, etc.

She spent the eve of her birthday at an overnight sleepover for a dear friend who shares the same birthday.  They are a special group of friends, all adopted from China and most of them, at an older age.  She received a phone for her birthday and she spent the night texting me about all the fun they were having.  I didn't know I would love my daughter having a phone so much!

Today, she will spend her birthday playing in a golf tournament in northern Ohio.  I will be riding alongside in a golf cart to silently cheer her on.  Oh, and probably take a few photos, too.  ;)

Happy Birthday, Kara!!!!!  We love you so much!!!!!

Kara Da Xin - Home 21 Months

Originally posted on Michelle R Photography, LLC blog on 4/8/11

This week I was inspired by my daughter, Kara Da Xin. As I glanced at the calendar last weekend, I realized that she is less than two months away from her 13th birthday. Really, can it be? 13 already? For anyone reading this blog who might be new to our story, we adopted Kara from Guangxi, China when she was 11 years old. She has been home with us for 21 months now and in some ways, I just can't seem to shake the feeling that we were just in China, while at other times it seems so very long ago. Her transition into our family went amazingly well. Beyond the images you will see below, I wanted to share some more about our oldest child, yet newest member of our family.

Kara is just an all-around great kid. She wants so much to please us and her teachers. So much so that I am getting tears in my eyes as I write this. I am very proud of her. She inspires me.

Kara is very inquisitive. She is still learning much about the world around her, as well as expanding her English vocabulary. She asks lots of questions and loves learning. She is doing amazingly well in school. She is in the 6th grade and has some wonderful teachers who are doing an excellent job with her. They tell me all the time how much they love having Kara in class. She is in ESL (English as a second language) instead of a regular English class, and gets modified testing for science and social studies, but does the same homework and testing as her peers in math. She still struggles with English at times - both understanding new words and trying to explain herself, but I am thankful that she asks questions at school when she needs to. She received Honor Roll this year and has a 3.87 GPA this quarter. It's unbelievable to me that she spoke not one word of English just 21 months ago!! Last year, I would sit with her for 1.5 - 2.5 hours every night working on homework. This year, she is able to work on the vast majority of her homework independently and I am so very proud of her accomplishments. In China, she was so surprised when I called her smart. "Me, smart? Nobody has ever called me smart," she replied. (All conversations in China were translated for us.) It made me so sad to hear her say that. She works so hard on her schoolwork and what makes me so happy is that I think she finally feels her accomplishments.

Kara is very disciplined. Not just with schoolwork, but with anything that is asked or expected of her. She gets up at 6:15 am for the middle school bus and has never, ever complained about getting up early or rolled over to dismiss her wake-up call. On the contrary, she is often up before Nolan or I (OK, mostly Nolan) go into her bedroom to wake her up. She always lays her clothes out the night before and makes her bed as she steps out of it. She got her ears pierced 8 weeks ago and she diligently followed her cleaning and care routine and crossed off the checklist every single day. Yesterday morning she was pleased to announce her 8 weeks were up! (So, we did a little earring shopping last night.) :)

Kara is very creative. She loves art and music. She plays percussion in the school band, sings in the school choir and takes Chinese dance and choir lessons as well. She occasionally assists me with my client sessions and will often think of a creative pose to show me. I taught her about using a reflector and she knows exactly what I am looking for when she helps me. I think she is my budding photographer.

Kara's behavior is very consistent. Other than the occasional pouting early on,

she has very few mood swings. She's just a happy and content girl. She loves spending time with family, golfing, playing her DS, listening to music on her iPod or watching movies.

Early on, Kara would shy away from hugs or affection, as it was something that she wasn't used to. Although she lived with a foster family for 4 1/2 years, I have learned that it's not common in Chinese culture to outwardly express affection the way we do here. That quickly changed, though, and Kara loves to give and receive hugs from her family and exchange I love you's. And p.s. Her hugs are awesome!!

Kara loves to laugh. Oh my goodness, she and Mia are my two gigglers. Those two could just sit and laugh for hours. Often at nothing. ;)

Kara is a joy. Her life has not been an easy one, yet she has chosen to rejoice in ways that inspire me to see the world through her eyes. I hope this has shown you just a glimpse of the blessing that older child adoption has been to our family.

Kara and I have been talking and have come up with a little project so that she can express her feelings about being adopted and share her thoughts about the many children that need a loving family. We hope to share that with you soon.

6-Months Home & Thoughts on Older Child Adoption

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON MY PERSONAL BLOG ON 12/21/09

Today is the six-month anniversary of the day we first met Kara. I struggle to believe it has been six months. On one hand, it seems like she has been a part of our family for far longer than that, but on the other, it seems like such a short time ago that we were in China to bring her home.

Does anyone remember this lovely photo? I look at it and remember how we were dripping under those masks that we were required to wear due to China's fear of spreading the H1N1 virus, barely able to breath because the ones that we purchased had too many heavy layers of cotton gauze, not to mention we were wearing them in late June in southern China in a non air-conditioned building. It was the memories that took place after leaving this room that were the fond ones for us.

So much has changed since this picture was taken. I often get asked how everything is really going. I can honestly say, it is really going great! I am amazed every day at our daughter who lived 11 years in another country, in a vastly different culture, spoke a completely different language, communicated through complex characters and not our alphabet, ate different foods, lived in a very large city, etc. etc. Her ability to transition into her new world with such ease is beyond comprehension - and truly, EVERYTHING about her new world has been new. I know I will not be able to do this justice, but I am going to attempt to highlight our first six months together. This is probably going to be a long post, but I hope it highlights our journey for anyone who might be interested in older child adoption.

Kara knew no English prior to her adoption. And I really have no way to explain it, but communication just happens. We didn't speak the same language, but we were able to communicate through our own little form of charades, just enough so that we would each know what we wanted.

I am sure Kara was processing the changes in her life inwardly, but she was not showing any outward grief or aggression in any way. She seemed to fit into our family with ease, just with a few minor bumps in our first month together as a result of some jealousy and vying for mom and dad's attention among all three girls - but primarily Leila and Kara. Leila knew that she would be giving up her role as the oldest in the house, but how can one - especially an 8-year old - really comprehend and prepare for this? They can't. She became very jeolous and hurt by the amount of attention we had to give Kara early on and started acting out with her behavior. In fact, this started while we were still in China. Nothing too drastic, but a lot of negative attitudes and talking back. This lasted less than a month before Leila adjusted back to her sweet self and went back to becoming best buds with Kara.

I had worried about all of the possible "what ifs", such as violence and severe emotional outbursts, but our biggest difficulties with Kara early on were brief pouting episodes that primarily resulted from saying "no" to her - mostly to her requests to buy her something or to write her name in black sharpie all over her new belongings. These were brief and they were minor. None of the worst-case scenarios that I had envisioned in the months leading up to our adoption every came to fruition. Praise the Lord!!!

Our most heart-breaking moment in those first few days together came not from Kara, but from Leila, who had difficulty sleeping the first few nights home and would come into our room crying. Leila has NEVER had problems sleeping. She is our rock sleeper from the moment her head hits the pillow. I knew something really had to be bothering her, so I put myself in her shoes. Here Leila had just seen us travel to China to bring home Kara at age 11, after Kara had been living with a foster family for nearly five years. In Leila's eyes, if we could take Kara away from her family, what would stop someone from taking Leila away from us? It just broke my heart to think that Leila had been worrying about this for who knows how long. I sat her down and explained the difference between Kara's foster family and us, her forever family. From that moment on, Leila went back to sleeping peacefully. This is deeply personal and painful for Leila, but I share this in hopes that it might help another family have this conversation beforehand. I only wish I had.

As I've mentioned before, Kara felt uncomfortable with hugs and kisses our first few days together. Openly showing affection is not common in Chinese culture. Kara quickly became comfortable with receiving, as well as showing affection. It took Kara a month or two to become truly comfortable with Nolan, but he has proven time and time again what an AWESOME dad he is and I know that Kara realizes that now, too. Kara wouldn't even think of getting on the school bus or going to bed without a big hug, kiss and "I love you" - or lots of them. While other 11-year olds might think it is uncool to blow kisses to their mom, Kara waves frantically and blows kisses to me from the bus every single morning. And I love it, and by the look on her face, she does, too.

Our summer was filled with making many fun memories -many of which were firsts for Kara. I am so thankful that our travel dates to China allowed us some bonding time together as a family before Kara had to start school. Witnessing every one of Kara's "firsts" has been such a joy for all of us. The summer also gave us time to hire an ESL tutor to come to the house and help her at least three days/week. That was a huge help to prepare her for entering school.

Kara has adjusted to American food very well. She loves anything with meat or fish, so it's pretty easy to find something on the menu that she will like. She is not a fan of most breakfast foods, so I bake a lot of banana bread around here, which she likes. I do look at the school menu every day and if there is something I know she will not like (anything with American or cheddar cheese, brunch for lunch or lunch wraps), I will make a noodle dish for her to take. She only uses chopsticks when she eats noodles or Chinese food. Sometimes she even puts those down and grabs silverware.

Our decision to place Kara in the fifth grade was not one I took lightly. There were many nights of lost sleep over this decision. She is pretty small for her age and her emotional maturity tends to fluctuate greatly, depending on who she is with. After five months, it has proven to be the right choice. Kara's classmates have been supportive from day one, just as the school principal had predicted. Never once have I heard that any of her classmates have been unkind because she spoke another language or came from another country. (And there is VERY little diversity in our [public] school.) In fact, it was quite the opposite. Her first day at school left her feeling like a little rock star. She continues to teach the girls in her class Chinese characters and seems to fit in just fine.

Early on in the school year, homework was a nightly challenge. Not because Kara didn't want to study. On the contrary, she was a very willing student and would sit and do what was asked of her as long as it took - often taking up to two hours every night. (It was obvious she was painfully bored, but she did it without complaint.) As Kara's language gradually improved, so did the homework. It still, however, requires either my or Nolan's undivided attention, as she needs us to help read and explain the directions to her.

Kara had attended school through the fourth grade in China. It broke my heart when, on one of our first days together, I told her she was very smart. "Smart?", she asked our translator. "Nobody has ever called me smart before. I always talked in class and didn't pay attention to the teacher." It broke my heart that this bright, inquisitive 11-year old girl did not know how smart she truly was. She does admit to me now that she never learned pinyin in school because she was too busy talking. That may have been the case in China, but she has really been focused on her schoolwork and learning here in the U.S ... at least for now. Maybe things will change when her language skills improve, but I have high hopes for our little fifth grader!

Kara's math skills have improved greatly since the beginning of the school year. Addition, subtraction and multiplication came relatively easy for her, but I do not believe she had ever seen any fractions or any of the other math problems that fifth graders are charged with learning. And to be honest, I am learning again right along with her. I often joked with her teacher, "Yes, I have a bachelor's degree, yes I have a successful career, but NO, I am NOT smarter than a fifth grader!" Sadly, I wasn't really joking. :) Kara can now work on more of her math independently, but still requires our assistance with word problems and instructions.

She is a great reader in her native language. We go to the library and rent a stack of Chinese books and she often has them read before we reach our house. She writes her Chinese characters beautifully. As for English, she is reading at a kindergarten level and writing is a challenge, as she still has difficulty pronouncing many of the sounds that were foreign to her only six months ago, therefore the "sounding it out" strategy is more of a challenge for her than most non-ESL kids. e.g. "Red" is "renda." I have frequent communication with her primary literacy teacher and we are both impressed with her effort and her progress. She has worked very hard and does the best we can ask of her. Her teachers and her classmates adore her, as do we. Because she is graded on her progress and effort and not based on knowing many of the same things that her peers do except math, she earned a "meets" level on her first report card, and I am very happy with that.

The amount of English that she has learned in just six months is nothing short of amazing. There are many things she still does not understand and we cannot yet hold many complex conversations, but she impresses everyone she meets with her language skills. Not everything has a proper name, but we can understand. e.g. The other day she shouted from the shower to tell me, "Number two is over." I knew exactly what she meant: we were out of conditioner. She also has problems with pronouns. No matter how many times we have told her, men are always "Mrs./she/her"; never "Mr./him/his". I try not to correct everything she says. She is trying so hard and I know what she is trying to say. I often try to put myself in her shoes and I think I might still just know a few Chinese words by now. Probably the most frustrating thing for me, however, during the past six months is her constant questioning of "what is that?" and "why?", when I know she will not be able to understand the answers that I give her, but that is my problem with limited patience and not a problem of hers. She has many questions of God and Jesus, as she is active in Awana and Sunday School, but we do not yet have sufficient ability to explain it for her full understanding. Soon, though. Hopefully, very soon. (And she has a new Chinese bible. Hooray!!)

Kara loves music. LOVES music. She loves to sing, try to play any instrument she can get her hands on and dance. She used to put on dance performances at the orphanage, so I signed her up for Chinese dance class here. She seems to like it and she will put on her first performance during the Chinese New Year celebration next year. I can't wait to see her on stage! (Mia will be taking stage, too, with her younger class.) Kara also takes an advanced Chinese language class and serves as the teacher's helper since she is further along than the other students in the class.

Because Kara loves music so much, we signed her up for the band early in the school year. I spoke with the band director and explained our situation and she said she would give it a try. I was thankful Kara chose percussion, as I am able to help her with bells since there is much similarity to piano, which I took for 14 years. She is doing great and seems to love it, except for the heavy weight of carrying the bells to and from school. She sometimes complains that she wishes she would have chosen the flute, as it is small and light. :) Oh, and she has asked Santa for a guitar, too.

I thought Kara was doing well retaining her language, but just today we went to the Chinese grocery store and then to a Chinese restaurant for lunch. I was trying to get her to speak to the people working at both places, but she acted shy and would only say the basic, "hello, goodbye, thank you, and Merry Christmas!" I told her, I can say those things. Say something more. Later on, she told me she was forgetting some of her Chinese. She said she can read and write it just fine, but she is gradually forgetting how to say some words. She and her two friends from China (now adopted in the U.S.) Skype every 1-2 weeks and speak primarily in Mandarin and I have asked her dance instructor and Chinese language teacher to only speak to her in Chinese, but I will need to step up our efforts to help her retain her language, as that is very important to all of us.

She gets along great with her sisters. I love seeing their special sisterly bond - something I never knew growing up without sisters. Along the way, Kara has gradually changed her once dislike of dress-up and all things "girly girl" to that of much enjoyment, as shown by one of their latest fashion shows below.

• As a I recently wrote to a friend... during the past six months, there may have been difficult moments within a day, but I can honestly say we haven't had any truly bad days. All days end with super big hugs, tons of kisses and lots of "I Love Yous". Although adopting Kara wasn't our plan, I am grateful that God led us to her. She is our daughter, no doubt. I don't know if we will ever adopt again. I thought we were done at two, and now we have three, so I don't know what God has planned for us. Adopting an older child isn't easy, but in so many ways it has been easier than I had expected. I had prepared for the worst, but prayed for the best. God has been faithful.
• I am also grateful to her foster family. I still know little about them, but I believe that they provided her a loving home and showed her the best that they could what living in a loving family was like.
• Since we have been working so much on fractions and percentages with Kara at school, I will close with this: Kara has spent 52% of her life thus far in an orphanage; 44% in foster care and just 4% with us. It will take a long time for us to gain the majority in this mathematical equation, but our small, growing percentage is made up of many magical, wonderful moments with our amazing daughter whom we love with 100% of our hearts.

A Mom's Cry

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON MY PERSONAL BLOG ON 10/27/09

You know those moments, when your heart just swells and feels it is too large for your chest? The turning moment when this feeling turns into tears? Tears of joy and happiness? Well, I just had one of those moments when Kara returned from school today. She bounced off the bus, glowing from ear to ear. I knew she had a surprise for me... I could tell by the look on her face. She had asked to take pictures of her room to school a couple of weeks ago and I knew that she had been working with her primary literacy support teacher to put them into a book. She wanted to wait until my birthday to give it to me, but decided that she didn't want to wait that long. I know that her teacher helped her spell every word, as Kara cannot yet spell in English, but the thoughts are hers. It is such a nice, spiral-bound, laminated book. And I am so very proud of her and happy to know that my black, purple and blue-loving girl is happy in her pink room.

This was the turning point for me. I flipped this page and the tears started to flow.

OK, so I'm crying again just posting this.

Please tell me, when was your last good "mom cry"?

2 1/2 Week Update

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON MY PERSONAL BLOG ON 7/24/09

I can't believe we've been home 2 1/2 weeks. Wow, how time flies!! Is it bad that I feel like a stranger on my own blog? I am backlogged with photos to post, so this one is going to be full. You know, I have to post for the Grandmas. :)

Kara is doing great. We continue to have occassional small issues - mostly stemming from the inability to communicate, which leads to misunderstanding - but she is doing amazingly well. She really is a sweet, smart and happy girl. I am still working on adjusting to life with three kids, but each day seems to get better. The jealousy issues have probably been toughest, as they are all trying to get my undivided attention and it's impossible to hold three seperate conversations at once, although they believe that I should be capable of doing so.

Here are some highlights from the past two weeks:
(By the way, I have really had problems with Flickr tonight. Please let me know if any of the photos aren't posting.)
- The girls finished the five-day evening soccer camp at our church and had such a great time. Leila has had three weeks of competitive soccer camp this summer, but this camp was all about the girls having fun and playing the sport - no matter what their skill level. And the coach and his daughters (one pictured below) were just amazing. Kara absolutely loved having a soccer camp to go to every night.

- Nolan and Leila go to the driving range most weekends and he has taken Kara three times since returning home. While Kara hit balls, she kept an eye on Leila during her lessons and imitated what the instructor showed Leila, thus improving her swing in such a short time. Even though she doesn't understand the words, she is great at paying attention to the details and trying to mimic things herself. The instructor spent 15-minutes with Kara last weekend and decided that she could understand enough by watching and repeating the motions, that she and Leila can start sharing lessons. Kara is very excited about this, and this is a great bonding thing for Nolan and the two older girls to do. We all five headed there on Sunday after church, so even Mia got to join in.

- The girls had swim lessons all week. Leila moved up to a level 7, and Kara and Mia each swim a short distance before they start sinking. All three girls love the water. Kara and Mia continue with private lessons next week, so hopefully they will be swimming on their own soon.

- We went back to the splash park today to meet up with Mia's China play group. I think the big girls like Mia's little friends just as much as Mia does. :)

- Kara's ESL classes seem to be going really well. I am really glad we decided to call in some experts on this, as it will be a tremendous help to get her prepared for school - in less than five weeks! Yikes!!

- The girls have VBS next week. I can't wait to see how Kara does. I really think she is going to like it - especially the singing and dancing part. She loves to sing and dance! I can't wait until she can understand the real message, though.

That's all for now.... Have a great weekend!

One Week Home

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON MY PERSONAL BLOG ON 7/13/09

Pictures from our local FCC chapter picnic and pool party.

My favorite picture of Kara - getting ready for the water balloon fight.

Kara and Mia in the Lazy River.

Leila tossing a water balloon and adorable Chloe looking on.

Getting messy decorating cookies.

Our little family of five has been together exactly one week tonight. I'm sorry for the delayed update. I have received lots of requests asking for an update on how we are doing, but I have had very little time on the computer since we've been home. Our internal clocks are still messed up and we can't seem to catch up on all the sleep that we missed. I think Leila and Kara are getting close to normal on their sleep patterns and I am just hoping that Nolan and I are shortly behind them!

It's difficult to find the words to express all that has happened over the last seven days, so I'm going to try the bullet point some thoughts:

• For the first few days, Leila and Kara would wake up at 3 or 4 am and come into our rooms wide awake. Nolan (my hero) would take them downstairs, but we would all (except Mia) be up the rest of the morning. Nolan and I finally had to set sound ground rules and with the help of a translator for Kara, explained that they must stay in their beds until at least 6 am, at which time they could get up and turn on the lights and read quietly in their rooms until 7 am. I wish we would have thought to lay these ground rules ahead of time. Those first few days starting so early have really thrown Nolan and I off.
• For the first couple of days, Kara would say, "Whoa", "Whoa", "Whoa!" to so much of what she saw. I think she really likes her room, but I did find out that her favorite colors are purple, black and blue. Her room is pink and red. Oops! Oh well... if she ever tires of it, I just might move in. It makes me happy whenever I walk into it.
• Kara's room is farthest from ours and I really thought I would have to sleep with her to help her adjust, but that hasn't happened. Kara sleeps by herself in her bedroom. She has never expressed any fear of the dark or being alone in a new room by herself.
• Kara's English vocabulary expands a little every day, but I quickly realized we were going to need to bring in someone to help with formal English lessons. We are starting her with an ESL tutor this week. Her favorite words are to point to something and say, "What is that?" Unfortunately, she doesn't yet understand our response. She is a smart girl, though, and I am sure she will continue to learn quickly.
• Our biggest struggles thus far have been sleep and setting rules. Kara, like all kids, is testing our authority and her boundaries. It helped that yesterday, our Mandarin-speaking friend was able to explain that if she doesn't obey us, that she will begin to lose certain priveleges, like her DS, Wii, TV or going swimming. (Thanks a ton, Lily!!!) This afternoon, all three girls lost TV time after misbehaving in a sporting goods store and I think she realizes that Mom means business. I am sure this will be an ongoing struggle, though, and I will just continue to pray for God's strength and guidance to help me through it.
• I love to watch Kara in her element. Yesterday, we went to our local FCC family picnic and swim party. Kara was able to communicate to some of the people there in Mandarin and she is so expressive, animated and so inquisitive. I can't wait until she can communicate with us like that. But I also hope that she doesn't lose her Mandarin. It is so much a part of who she is and the life she has led to this point.
• Speaking of Mandarin, Kara was able to S*kype her two friends, Lela and Hannah, last night. Oh my, can those girls talk. And talk. And talk!!! I SOOOOOO wish I knew what they were saying. We have scheduled weekly calls so the girls can talk. (BTW, if anyone knows how to get a picture when you three-way S*kype, please let me know. We lost the ability to see each other when we added a third person to the call.)
• Over-stimulation does not seem to be a problem for Kara. She handles everything we have thrown at her with ease. She was quite confused and unsure of the place we took her to on Sunday morning (church), but she ended up going to Leila's Sunday School class and staying for the second service for the kids' program and really enjoyed herself.
• On Friday, we had to do the three-hour visit with our local Children's Hospital International Adoption Clinic. Kara was a champ. All of the doctors, nurses and specialists that came in to meet her instantly fell in love with her. This morning, we had another one hour visit downtown for hearing, checking her TB test (no reaction!) and psychological evaluation. So already, four hours in the doctor's office since we've been home.
• Yes, the girls have other bathing suits, but they have no desire to wear them. They only want to wear their matching suits. They just may fall apart from all of the constant wearing and washing. :)
• Our church is holding a soccer camp in the evenings this week and all three girls are attending. The coaches let all three girls stay together and it was so much fun to see! Mia has waited for this day for a long time, as she is always watching her sister from the sidelines. Kara is already learning that being Leila's sister means lots of soccer. For the first time in my life, I have three pairs of shin guards in the wash. Is it time for me to go out and get a "Soccer Mom" bumper sticker? :)
• Kara is the most affectionate and loving girl. It is night and day from the girl who didn't like hugs, kisses or touching on Day 1. Only three weeks later and she is constantly giving me hugs and kisses. (As long as I haven't just said "no" to her, of course.) She and I shared a very tender moment on Thursday, after she did something I asked her not to. A difficult moment turned into the most long and loving embrace with my dear daughter, at which time she said, "I love you." It was such a special moment. I hope I remember it forever.

Kara was used to a much later bedtime than Leila and Mia were used to, so we have tried to meet in the middle... at least until school starts. Their later bedtime means that I have had very little time to spend on the computer... or do anything for/by myself, for that matter. Please bear with me as I try to adjust to our new normal. I see it's already past my bedtime and I'd better get going. I don't think it's possible to "catch up" on sleep, but I'm going to try!!!

We've Got Our Girl!!

ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED ON MY PERSONAL BLOG ON 6/23/09 & 6/24/09

(excerpts from the first two days of our 12 days in China)

First of all, it is so weird to be sending my posts to an email address and not being able to access our blog to see what it actually looks like. I hope the pictures post ok. I know that's what you've all been waiting for anyway. :) But, shocker, get this.... I have hardly taken my camera out of the bag since we got here. (I know!!) And when I do take it out it, the lens gets so steamed up, I can't take any pictures for a while. Have I mentioned it is HOT here? :)

OK, enough chit chat, you all want to know about Kara, right? Yes, I said Kara. We had our guide ask her when we got back to our hotel room which name she wanted to be called and she said Kara. I find myself going back and forth between Kara and Da Xin, and I've found that using Kara doesn't get her attention 100% of the time because she's not used to it yet. But, she drew a picture yesterday and wrote KARA at the top of it.

Kara is such a tiny little girl. Many people have thought that Leila is the big sister and are shocked to find that Leila is 7 (nearly 8) and that Kara is 11. Kara is maybe an inch taller than Leila, but everything about her is petite. They can definitely share clothes and wear the same shoe size. They wore matching outfits today and they received LOTS of stares. Many people said they looked like twins. (Ummmmmmm.... not really.)

Kara picked our restaurant last night.... McDonald's. Leila was a happy camper with her choice. Kara is very energetic and has a very outgoing personality. I think she knew how tired we were last night, so she turned off all the lights and tv at 8:00 am (even though her bedtime is typically 10 pm), so that we could all go to sleep. I think she did that for our benefit, not hers. What a sweet girl. The funny thing, though, was that we all woke up at midnight and were wide awake. ;)

She and Leila quickly became best buds. They have their own little way of communicating. Mainly by bossing each other around by pointing their fingers at each other. LOL. Leila taught her how to play her new DS, they color together, they walk around holding hands, race each other to the elevator buttons, etc. It is very cute. And by the way, Rock, Paper, Scissors is a universal game. Who knew? I'll tell you, having Leila here has made this so much easier. The moments of silence because we can't communicate can get a bit awkward, but there is very little downtime with the two of them. We have two adjoining rooms in every hotel, so they share a room and that has been very nice for all of us. It also allows me to sit here typing this while they nap in the other room.

This morning, we finalized all of our adoption paperwork, so it is now official. Our guide told us on the way from the airport yesterday that because of her age, Kara will be asked if she wants to be adopted by us, and if she says no, then we will return home without her. This really freaked Leila out, as she was very worried that Kara would say no. I am pleased to say that Kara said "yes" both times this morning when asked, so she is officially our daughter!!! Leila kept asking, "Is she ours? Is she ours?" She IS ours!!!

Her very good friend from the same orphanage was adopted yesterday, too, and she was given an American name, Lela, so it's nice for her to know her friend has a new name, too. Lela and her family are staying in the same hotel and the girls are so happy to see each other all the time. We are going out to Pizza Hut tonight with them and then to the nearby People's Park. The other family is from Virginia and we have already talked to the girls about using Skype to communicate with one another. They are so excited!

My last words before I sign off.... I think I'm moving to Nanning. Everyone here takes a daily nap - adults and children. I must do as the locals do, so I'm off to nap!! :)

DAY TWO

We went paddle boating tonight at the People's Park after dinner. We went with Kara's friend, Lela, and her new family. Their story is quite unique, as they also adopted a 9-year old boy from Beijing about 10 days ago, and then turned around and came here to adopt Lela. They are a very nice family and it was nice for all of us to spend the evening together. It was dark when we started boating, but it was pitch black when we finished. The girls enjoyed their first paddle boat ride.

We had lights out at 10pm tonight (just a few minutes ago) and I haven't heard a peep from the girls since. We came back to our rooms, they took showers and watched Tom & Jerry for about 45 minutes before bedtime. Of all the movies I thought we might try to buy when we were over here, Tom and Jerry wasn't one of them. The good thing is there are no words, so both girls enjoy it equally. They are mesmerized by watching it. It's pretty funny to watch.

Again, they walked around holding hands tonight and have gotten along so well.

Another thing we've learned about Kara... she is a neat freak. She has to have everything in order. If things start to get too messy in their rooms, she starts putting everything away. And beds HAVE to be made. She'll help get us (me) in order! Mommy's not a neat freak. :)

She has stopped calling us Mama and Baba and has started calling us Mommy and Father, although it sounds more like "Moddy" and "Fodda". She has the cutest little voice. I just love hearing, "Moddy".

I think I have surprised her by how affectionate I am. I am always hugging and loving on the girls. Leila has always been the more reserved, but Mia is Miss Affectionate++++. Last night, I tucked Kara in, gave her a big hug, kissed her on her forehead and said, "Wo Ai Ni" (I love you). She just giggled and I could tell it was an uncomfortable giggle. I talked to our guide today and she confirmed what I had read... Chinese are very reserved people and it is not common for parents to hug or kiss their children or say I love you to them. Of course, it is understood that the parents love their children and vice versa, but it's just not verbalized or as overtly shown as we are accustomed to. She said, "There is no way my parents would even say goodnight to me, let alone kiss or hug me. We just don't do that." She said that as an adult, she still walks around holding her mother's hand, but they do not say I love you or hug. She said that children do not see their parents show affection towards one another and that most married people don't say "I love you" either. She said that maybe on your 20th anniversary or something, they might say, "Yes, we love one another", but it's just not commonly said. Lastly, she said that people dating do not say it either. She said that a man might do something nice, like buy the woman a present or cut her meat, and then the woman knows that he likes her. I just love learning about other cultures so much. I had our guide ask Kara today if she liked being hugged, kissed and having her back rubbed... the answers were No, No and No. he he. We'll just see about that... I saved the hug, but she still got a quick forehead kiss tonight. An American mom's gotta do what an American mom's gotta do!!!!