“New York, New York” used to be my favorite song.  When that baby played, my shift waitressing in a tiny outfit in a small bar wearing a minimum of 3″ heels (not wedges) was over and I could set my tray down for the first time in 8 hours, sit down have my pau drink, and sort tips.  I saw so many Hawaii Sunsets, its kind of sad.  But I made a shit ton of money and the bestest friends in the world, so I’d call it even 🙂

I recently made a stupid post on FB as a part of a breast cancer support chain thing, that I was going to NY for 17 months.  Big fat lie.  I am planning on going after October when my friend closes escrow on her condo.  I don’t know how long I’ll stay for, but its just going to be very mellow.  I’m excited to go and see my friend, but wish I was well enough to go see more of the city.  Time will tell I guess.

Its really nice and reassuring to have friends that will do stuff like that for you (buddy pass – Delta employee).  We didn’t always get along, actually I kinda used to be terrified of her, she was mean!! And I don’t know when it happened, but we became friends.  I also have a friend who wants to fly me to FL so I can get some sun and to help me feel better.  I know him from Hawaii, and he’s lived in SoCal, so I’m not sure what FL son will do for me, haha, again, its nice that the gesture was made.  Now his family has premier tickets that have been passed down from generation to generation for the Kentucky Derby.  I wouldn’t mind taking advantage of that!

I have other friends that in the past week + that have not been too nice to me.  It is the worst feeling in the world to find out that who you thought you could trust, you can’t.  This happens almost every time I get sick.  In HS I only came out with one friend in my senior class.  I got sick, attended 2 weeks, and homeschooled the rest.  I reached out to people, but they didm’t care too much.  And the one friend I came out with, lied to my BF and tried to steal him away from me!  In retrospect, she could have had him, lol.  In college, I had my dorm friends and my sorority friends.  I am fairly good friends with one of my dorm friends, and my super close sorority friends, ditched me when I took a break from school.  Anyways, I was lucky in HI, and they became some of my closest friends, even though they are spread all over the globe sometimes.  When I came back, again I was lucky and had close friends.  But I guess these were times I wasn’t so sick.  Recently some friends have weighed in their opinion on what is wrong with me – all sorts of different things, that sometimes I think is totally nuts.  I know I shouldn’t let it bother me, but since we are so close, its hard not to take personally.

But other, older friends, have really been there for me for support.  Telling me to “slap out of it” as Cougar Town would say so I’m not having a total pity party.

Anyways, in my own thoughts I have thought about moving to some place with cleaner air.  The pollution here, all the fires, isn’t good for me.  I’m thinking about Oregon/Portland, and going back to Hawaii because my health was the best there.  But I lose a lot of my wonderful doctors if I leave.  Hawaii does not have the best healthcare system and I heard OK things about Portland because they have a medical school up there.  If anybody knows of anywhere else I should consider looking, I’d be happy to take suggestions.  I’m not sure I could handle someplace like Minnesota where the Mayo clinic is but I’m willing to hear.  And then if I move, I’ll have to make all new friends and contacts, try to find work.  In Hawaii that is not so much of a problem because I have friends there still, but the cost of living is high.  And its not like you get a lot for your money.  l paid almost the same for a studio apartment there as I did for a townhouse in Brentwood.  Ponderables.