Let Blood Pour

 

I thought I would love.

At least once in my lifetime

with every ounce of my heart.

But it’s sealed within an iron wall

impenetrable to every emotion.

A wall built over time 

with the craftmanship of a skilled welder 

following the blueprint of a scarred soul.

Not a madman steered by ills

but a kind, gentle man protecting.

Protecting what… he never knows.

I yearn to love.

To torch an opening so blood can pour

and feel the emotion built up within me

all these years.

I thought I would love.

But I only protect.

My selfish self.

 

Written for:

WoENewButton

 

Home

copyright-Rich Voza

The morning sun rises as I board my flight.  Most trips take a few hours.  My trip has taken 27 years.  The excitement has my mind spinning, unable to gather a thought.  My flight will take me across our great nation.  From the desert southwest to the beautiful eastern hill country.  An hour drive from the airport through beautiful green countryside is nearly missed from my view.  My mind only sees one thing. A picture of you dressed in blue.  I turn into the parking lot, seconds away from meeting.  My heart races.  I exit the car and we hug.  Finally I have a home. 

This was written for FRIDAY FICTIONEERS

THE CHALLENGE:

Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end. (No one will be ostracized for going over or under the word count.)

THE KEY:

Make every word count.

Join the fun!

A Clown in the Room

I sat next to her bed on a cold winter morning.  She looks as beautiful as ever.  So peaceful in her sleep.  Like she can live thousands of years.  The stark reality is that I know she can’t.  She’ll be lucky to live hundred days.  As I sit and stare at my lovely wife the nurse walks in.  “Time for her medication Mr. Moseby.”  She awakens my wife, who looks over at me and smiles.  

“I brought you something Helen, ”  I said.  I stand up and walk over to the head of the bed.  She thanks the nurse after she swallows her last pill.  Then she turns to me with her beautiful eyes and smiles once again.  My heart pounds as she looks into me.  I feel my body overcome with emotion.  The way she looks at me.  She always did that to me.  Our eyes meet and there is no one else in the world but the two of us.

“Look what I brought.  This beautiful picture of us from before we were married”  I tell her.  I look at the picture briefly before I show her. Our bodies  are entangled together into one.  So elegant.  The emotion of the moment captured in one snap of that camera years ago.  When I look at that picture now I see the young us but with a reflection of the current us.  She is still as beautiful as the picture in my eyes.  Sure time has taken away so much from her.  But when I look into those eyes of hers it’s as if it was the first time.  My body tingles and my heart races with joy.  

I slowly hand her the picture.  She looks at it and smiles.  I see her face change.  She looks so loving at this moment.  A smile slowly comes upon her face and she reaches her fingers to the picture and runs it across our bodies trapped in time.  My whole body is tingling in anticipation of her comments.  She looks at that picture so lovingly.  I know she remembers that moment.  I can tell she feels the feeling we had when our bodies were woven together.  

She slowly puts the picture face down onto her chest.  Her smile goes away and her chest rises and slowly retreats downward.  Her eyes are affixed to a spot on the ceiling for a moment then she glances and says “I remember.”  She smiles and grabs the picture and hands it back to me.  “Why is there a clown sitting in the chair of my room?” she ask me.

The moment is gone.  I exhale loudly as my heart suddenly aches.  She is gone again.  Gone into her world of her mind.  A world that no longer includes the man and woman in the picture.  Gone to the world of Alzheimer’s.  I feel all alone.  

“The clown is not in your room dear.  Only in your mind.”  This will mean nothing to her.  Like that photo meant nothing.  Although for one brief second, I felt she remembered.  Then she was gone.  Back into a different world.  I know the reality.  It will never dismiss the pain.  

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This is fiction.  It was written for Picture it & Write

I urge people to join in, comment with your paragraph of fiction to accompany the image. It doesn’t have to follow my story or reflect the same themes. It can be a poem or in a different language (provide a translation please). Anyone who wants to join in, is welcome. This photograph will be reblogged under Ermisenda on tumblr and added to the Picture it & Write gallery on Facebook and Pintrest.

Father Friday 12/21/12

My father was a tough man to live with.  I was an only child born out-of-wedlock and more than likely not out of love.  Caring maybe, love I will never believe it.  My father was the oldest of four kids and a mother of gold.  He graduated high school at the age of sixteen and received his degree in forestry from Louisiana State University in 1941.  He was a navigator for the US Army Air Corps during World War II.  He was a son, a brother, a husband, a father and an alcoholic.  He was loved by his friends who did not know the man I knew.  He was well thought of in the community. He was an intelligent man who read constantly.  He died at the age of 64 on April 27, 1982.  That was a little over a week before my high school graduation.  My memories only begin at age 5 for a reason I can’t explain.  Maybe others are like this as well, I don’t know.  We briefly lived in New Iberia, Louisiana before finding a house to rent on a sugar cane farm just outside historic St. Martinville Louisiana.  We resided in this 3 bedroom wooden house with no heating or air conditioning till his death.   All my memories of him are  in this house.  My memory of  him was drinking every day, except for the occasional hospital stay for heart issues.  A few days of peace was interrupted by his return home.   There were lots of yelling at my mother, me, the television or just at nothing at all.  He was occasionally warm and tender then off he went breaking a window or throwing a beer can across the room while my mom and I watched television.  He was Jekyll and Hyde which made it more difficult cause you didn’t know who you were getting each day.  My defense was to just stay away which I did often.  It was only years later that I realized why I was away from home so often.  To my mom, I am sorry for this, it must have hurt her or perhaps she was happy that I wasn’t going through something I should not have at that moment.  She took the brunt of things, often protecting me and I love her dearly for that.

Me in 1976

Me in 1976

 With all this said, I did love him.  And we did lots of things together.  So every Friday (beginning next Friday) will be Father Friday whereabouts I will write some memories I have of my time with him.  For me, its kind of healing process.  A time to filter the bad and find the good.  Amongst all the tirades where moments of instruction, laughter, love and normalcy.  Too few unfortunately.  I will begin each Father Friday with a link to this post so readers will get a brief background of my relationship with my father.  Time is starting to heal my wounds.  I am learning to forgive, slowly.  Perhaps sharing some of the moments of my past me will aid in this healing process.  Time will tell.

Till we meet again.  Good day.

Mind of Shoo

My Last Words

Words are my life.  Words have afforded me things way beyond my imagination.   My words, many have told me, have helped them heal in times of pain.

What do you say to someone who’s only minutes away from their last breath?  When that someone is the women you love.  I stand outside her room, the door inches from my face.   No words are flowing, just tears.  I have never married.  She knows why, that’s why I am here.  I push the door and enter, but it’s too late. All I say is  “I love you forever.”  Words please heal me.

These words are fiction, written for Velvet Verbosity’s 100 word challenge.  This weeks word is breath

100 Word Challenge writing prompt