“New” is Not the OLD “New”
Posted: December 30, 2011 Filed under: Blogging, Family, Humor, wisdom, Writing | Tags: abs, Blog, Eminem, family, home, is the new, proverb, writing 47 CommentsNostalgia,
Sentimentality,
Romantic notions,
Thoughtful recollection.
Another year. And time for reflection.
Stream-of-consciousness-style.
From the time I was a wee lad, I’ve always loved a profound word, or the wisdom of a proverb. When I was a child, my dad would bring home these calendars that had sayings on the top of each page. You know, “Early to bed, early to rise …” – that kind of thing. I would read all of them in a couple of hours and pore over their meaning for days.
I remember thinking how old my grandparents were, years ago, when they were the age I am today. I wondered what it would be like to be THAT old.
“Old age is fifteen years older than I am.” Oliver Wendell Holmes
This is one of the things I love about blogging with this great community. There is no age – really. Young and old – let’s just say “older” – alike, share their experiences; their hopes, dreams, failures, and yes, their successes.
And their boundless creativity.
ethericwarriors.com
It’s like being around one of those electric-y gizmos that has all those tiny lightning bolt things in a clear globe and when you touch it your hair stands up straight. That’s the kind of excitement I get reading about everything so many of you do. The writing, drawing, photography, graphic design, etc. – along with your thoughts and emotions.
I’ve felt younger than I was, since I entered my 20’s. So I’ve been a proponent of the “30 is the new 20,” and then, “40 is the new 30,” and lately “50 is the new 30 40.” 🙂
Yes, the once-tight pecs are now soft-ish-man-breasts; the eight-pack abs have been relegated to a single-pack; the hair drizzled mostly grey; and legs that used to run 20 miles at a time, are now struggling to make it up a few flights of stairs!
But I don’t envy youth; I admire them. Still relating to their enthusiasm and zest for life. I AM 20, 30, 40, and 50! Really! I am all of those ages. The thrill of bench-pressing 280 lbs several times, running six-minute-miles ad nauseum, flexing 15 inch guns in the mirror, wooing my lovely bride at 26 years old, slapping gel on my newly cut “fade,” and flooring the accelerator on my Camaro, are all vivid memories.
But I also look back at the smiles on my kids’ faces, their sports and arts done well (mostly), and the successes and mistakes I made as a husband, father, son, brother, and friend.
So, I don’t get bummed out as another year ends, and a new one begins. It’s just the next chapter in the book.
As I hit play on my iPod, Eminem rings out:
“Till the roof comes off, till the lights go out
Till my legs give out, can’t shut my mouth …”
I can’t help but think, “‘New’ is the new ‘new’!”
The Zen of Laundry
Posted: December 17, 2011 Filed under: Family, Home, Humor | Tags: clothes, Detergent, dryer, home, Homemaking, Laundry, Stain, washer 75 Comments
This is what joy looks like! (pointlomacoinlaudry.com)
This will sound crazy, but I really like doing laundry. It’s not because my lovely bride isn’t willing to do it, because she would. And it’s not because I’m OC, although I can be (see The OC’s Guide to Blogging – A 5 Step Plan?). But to me – it’s relaxing and peaceful. The enzymes of the stain-fighter working its magic, the smell of the warm clothes coming out of the dryer, the crisp snap of a t-shirt or towel before folding them, and the satisfaction I get from seeing the pile of folded – or hanging – clothes.
Who doesn’t like to have clean, stain-free clothes?
There’s a lot of I’ve learned over the years. Some are simple laundry “truths” that our mommas taught us, and others are ones I’ve learned through trial and error – well, mostly error!
Last year at Thanksgiving time, I got one of the Best. Gifts. Ever – the front-loading LG washer and dryer set. In a bit of a twist, it was between me getting the much-desired laundry pair (at almost 50% off), or my wife’s wish of a big-screen-tv. In a moment of weakness, she felt the washer and dryer might be more practical. Yeah, laundry dude ME!
The Workhorses - my LG Washer & Dryer
My cupboard with my triplets - Borax in the middle.
Without further ado, here we go!:
Ah, melted crayon! (housekeepinghere.com)
1. Check the pockets – every one. I made the mistake, years ago, of missing a crayon in the pocket of my son’s pants; nearly every long sleeve dress shirt was stained when the crayon melted in the dryer.
2. Always wash by color. I know there are those of you who mix your whites and colors, to my horror; and yes, now your whites are a dingy grey. For the love of God, man, SEPARATE!!
3. Use a good stain fighter – I like OxiClean and Zout. Check the garments for stains first, and give the enzymes a chance to do their job before you wash them. It can be harder getting the stain out after the material is washed.
4. Don’t scrub the stained fabric threads too hard. You can stretch the fabric, or worse yet, actually rub a hole in the item – I’ve done that a few times, in my aggressiveness to get the stain out.
5. Don’t let the stain defeat you. It’s mind over the stain’s matter. A lot of really nice garments can be picked up at thrift stores because someone didn’t want to take the time to get the stain out. Be patient.
6. When you’re done treating the stain, put the article of clothing in with your load, and wash on the hottest temperature the clothes can handle (usually warm, and sometimes hot temp is acceptable).
7. About the dryer – please don’t leave those nice, warm clothes sitting in the dryer AFTER they’ve stopped, for more than a few minutes. That’s how you end up with those horrible wrinkles. Get those guys to the safety of a folded pile or a hanger, STAT!
Bonus: I’ve had that latex paint moment where I’ve gotten a couple of drops on my clothes (I’m sure that’s never happened to you, though). If you put a very small amount of Goof-Off on the paint, gently rub the area, and follow up with a stain fighter, the paint will usually come out. Rinse the clothes THOROUGHLY before putting in the washer, to get as much Goof-Off out of the fabric as possible.
Well, that’s some of what I’ve learned. I’m sure you have some tips you can pass along to the rest of us. Please share by commenting!!
7 Trade Secrets of a Stay-At-Home-Dude – Shhhh!
Posted: December 13, 2011 Filed under: Blogging, Family, Humor | Tags: Blog, cleaning, diaper, family, home, parent, rant, Stay-at-home dad, vacuum 66 CommentsNote: Please do not let your spouse/significant other read this. It would be tragic for you if this happened. See disclaimer below for details.
(uwillreadnews.blogspot.com)
(casasugar.com)
I have been at home, and not working for the past two months – please don’t cry for me, Argentina; it’s okay, really). If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that time goes by a LOT quicker than I thought. In fact, when I was working, it flew by, and I thought: If I was at home I could get SO much done during the day.
Well, I start my day at 7:00 am or so, and before I know it, my lovely bride is pulling into the garage at 6:00-6:30 pm, wondering what the heck I did that day. Some days it seems very productive and others … well … you know, NOT very. Because I know that inevitable, “What did you do today?” question is coming, I’ve come up with some extremely practical ways to help you with your response:
1) Vacuum or sweep the room closest to where your significant other enters the house at the end of the day. What says you’ve been busting your hump more than a nicely vacuumed carpet! And be sure to leave those great vacuum patterns in the carpet – it really makes a statement!
2) Complete that errand that you’ve been nagged about, BUT be sure to describe how difficult it was to accomplish when your spouse gets home. Here’s an example: “Oh my gosh … I took the dog to the vet to get his shots today. He wouldn’t get in the car, and then he threw up on the seat. At the vet’s he was ‘out of control!’ But we got that done … so you can scratch that one off your mental checklist, Honey.”
3) Whatever you do, do NOT leave the TV turned on to something that screams “I’ve been sitting on my butt all day, doing nothing.” For you guys, don’t leave it on ESPN, and for some of you women (like my wife), do not have it on the “Ellen” show or Lifetime channel. This is an important tip and can easily be forgotten. [Writer’s note: I might have been caught watching ESPN, yesterday]. You might want to change it at least an hour before said spouse’s projected arrival time, or my preference – turn it off ahead of time.
4) It’s cold outside this time of year in most places. Open the windows and let that crisp air flow in. When your working partner arrives and says, “It’s freezing in here,” reply with an, “Oh, yah, I had to cool the house off because I was getting so hot from (insert task like vacuuming, mopping, chasing the kids around, here)!”
5) If you have kids still living at home, the response to the question must be swift and doggedly forceful: “I’ve been trying to manage the house, AND make sure (insert names of school-aged kids, here) got off to school, changed poopy diapers all day, made sure they did their homework, fixed their snack, and vacuumed; if you really NEED to know! This is MY job!”
6) You have that big pile of laundry – yes, you do, don’t act coy – sitting on the floor. With meticulous planning, allow the time for a large load to be washed, and … wait for it … IN the dryer, as your mate is entering the house. This is crucial. After doing some of the first five steps above, and communicating this (verbally or visually) to your significant other, you state, “Oh, Honey, [in addition to ALL that other stuff I did], I also have those clothes you wanted washed in the dryer; should be done shortly.”
7) Be sure your blogging activities cease at least a half hour before you greet your mate. The last thing you want, is to have it look like you’ve been connecting with your blog-buddies (another new word, yeah!) all day! 😉 Close the laptop, and refer to the timing of #6 above, as a refresher.
These seven tips should put you well on your way to a happy household, and get your spouse off your back make your spouse feel like you’re accomplishing SO much during your “hectic” day. Maybe this has inspired your creative juices, or you have some tips you’d like to share. Comment and let me know what you do (I won’t tell anyone!).
BIG LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Whatever you do, do not print this list. Commit it to memory. And please, please, please … remember, these are NOT things that I have done, or would ever do, but are merely suggestions that MAY help you in striving to be the perfect partner!.
And Down the Stretch They Come …
Posted: December 6, 2011 Filed under: Family, Humor, wisdom | Tags: christmas, family, holiday, home, horse, Humor, personal, random, Snow, travel, writing 20 Comments
aka, How I Ran Away from Home
The first cold night of the year, my mind jumps back to an old memory. One that makes me lol … a LOT!
When I was a child, grocery stores used promotions to bring customers in the door. One of those was called “Let’s Go To The Races.” When you bought groceries, you were given a ticket that had the race number and your horse’s number on it. On a particular night each week, during a commercial break, the races ran (from a taped race) and if your horse won, you won a prize or small amount of cash.
For a large, fairly low-income family like ours, this was pretty exciting for my brothers and sisters – there were seven of us – and me. To be fair, dad had us rotate the honor of holding the ticket.
On this particularly cold, blustery winter night, it was my turn to be the ticket holder – or so I thought. At eight or so years of age, I spoke up when the ticket was passed to one of my siblings instead of me.
The age old discussion ensued:
“Hey, it’s my turn!!”
“Nun-uh!”
“Yes-huh!”
And finally ended, as all disputes did in those days, with dad making the Solomon-like final judgement. There was no changing the ruling. In this particular case, in the Monaghan People’s Court, I was the loser.
I was, and have usually been, an optimist. But for some reason, I decided that this was the final straw. I’m not even sure that there were other straws to begin with! But, in my haste, my only choice seemed to be finding another home. One where I could hold the ticket on my rightful turn. So there Mr. Solomon, in all your wisdom! I’ll show you.
Wisely, I felt that clothes were a must. But how to carry them? We had no backpacks then. Suitcases were the parents domain. Ah!, I had a brilliant idea: Just pull the drawers out of the chest of drawers. As I began pulling them out one-by-one, fuming as the rest of the clan watched the “races,” I realized that they were pretty heavy and there were four of them.
It was snowing hard outside. In fact there was a blizzard. There were already six inches of snow on the ground. Again, another light bulb went off: We had this great seven-seater toboggan. So, off I went, drawer-by-drawer placing them on the toboggan.
I used one just like this. (sledwarehouse.com)
And drawers something like this. (donation2decor.com)
This was gonna be perfect. I had clothes, AND transportation, and I was on my way. Ready to venture into the world – at eight years old! I was free! I threw on my sneakers, grabbed the rope on the toboggan and began my journey out the garage door. As I looked back, I heard the click of the lock turning from inside on the door handle. Dad must have locked me out. Didn’t matter to me. Good riddance, family. Enjoy the “races.” Be as unjust as you want; all by yourselves.
Only one problem: As I trudged into the snow, the moisture penetrated the canvas on my shoes and the snow dampened my long sleeved shirt, I realized I had made a major miscalculation – I didn’t think about bringing a coat! Apparently dad did not overlook this error before he locked the door. Tail between my legs, I slowly made my way back into the garage. I was FREEZING cold.
When I knocked on the inside door, Solomon dad responded with a “Who is it?” As if someone coming to the inside garage door was a normal occurrence; in a blizzard, no less.
I never attempted to run away again ;). And looking back, maybe this is why I always look at what the contingencies are in every situation; to the point of sometimes over-thinking things.
My dad probably doesn’t even remember this happening. With a family as large as ours, a lot of crazy things occurred (and still do). But I certainly remember it well, and it still makes me laugh.
Midnight Softly Breaking
Posted: December 6, 2011 Filed under: Family, Lifestyle, Love | Tags: bills, dog, Duke, family, God, home, personal, Puppy, Sleep, wife 18 Comments
How can you resist that face?
Duke’s little puppy tongue licked my hand and it felt like fine, wet sandpaper. His cue to go outside. It was 12:30 in the morning. His tiny bladder just can’t hold his water. *sigh*
I could be grumpy having my sleep interrupted. It was chilly, I had no coat on, and the bed was a lot warmer.
He did his business and we went back in the house. As I crawled into bed, and quickly warmed up, my mind raced about what I could write about, what needed to be done the next day, and bills that had to be paid. And then I had one of those moments of clarity: For me, it’s when I feel connected to the spirit of God. I laid still and listened to my wife’s slow, peaceful breathing and felt Duke lean against my feet at the end of the bed.
Life was simple and uncomplicated because of those two things; if only for a few seconds. And I fell asleep quickly.
The Tree is “Ornamented!”
Posted: December 3, 2011 Filed under: Family, Lifestyle, Writing | Tags: Blog, christmas, christmas tree, family, garland, Griswold, home, ornament, personal, wal-mart, wife 23 Comments
Christmas is one of my favorite times of the year. People’s spirits are usually kinder (unless you’re video game shopping at Wal-Mart), children are excited and usually better-behaved in anticipation (some parents may find this debatable), the standard Christmas shows are on TV, and of course the lights, trees, and nativity scenes are beautifully displayed.
I do love a good Christmas tree and the Clark Griswold-esque lights on houses. It’s just doing those things takes time away from other things like working, writing, internet-ing, watching said shows, and shopping on Amazon (hey, don’t hate on me, you know you’re a “chair potato” sometimes, too!).
But since I’m currently between jobs – I’m positive there will be a future job ; ) – it’s definitely my responsibility to do all I can to support my lovely bride since she’s putting the food on the table. And according to her, she ALWAYS decorates the tree. Who am I to argue?? So … while she’s out of town this weekend at a conference, I decided it would be a nice surprise to put the garland and ornaments on the tree. I know, it’s not heroic, but it’s something, right?
She wanted a white tree for a COP (not a police officer, but a Change Of Pace). I had my doubts, but I have to say I do like it. This being a surprise, I wasn’t sure what color(s) she wanted for the ornaments. Her desire, I knew was something “simple and elegant” vs. other styles we’ve had in the past: country, whimsical, the ones with the kids homemade ornaments, etc.
Taking her wishes into consideration – because occasionally I’m smart – I looked through all the ornament boxes and went with silver and a teal-ish/aqua-ish blue accent color. The garland strands were kind of beaded, silver, gem-looking strands from C & B.
Oh no … you di’n’t?!?! You thought the first picture was the tree I decorated, didn’t you? See the pictures of OUR tree below. I’m pretty happy with how it came out. What do you think?
Just don’t tell Cate. It’s a surprise!
mj monaghan 
