Sometimes, love is just round the corner… or the landing. How many of you have ever fallen in love (or just been attracted) with your neighbour or your roommate ?

Different reasons push you to fall for your neighbour / roommate. In the first case, there’s the mystery: you see him/her everyday but you don’t know anything  about him/her. But there’s also a lot of physical attraction going on. I still remember, when I was younger, the fascination I had for my closest neighbour. We used to share the same bathroom located on our landing with one other person. But our landing was closed by a door, so we didn’t have to expose ourselves to the sight of everyone passing by when we got out of the bathroom.  My neighbour used to get out of his shower with just a towel wrapped around his hips, usually at the moment when I was leaving my apartment to go to the university. I didn’t know if he did it on purpose, but for sure, I enjoyed the spectacle. My friends also. One of my gay friends fell for him badly and came to fetch me every morning at my apartment just to see him and his towel.  G., 32, told me she played a game like that with her neighbour, before deciding to start a relationship with him. “I was physically attracted by him, and I liked the little game of seduction that was going on between us. We eventually started a relationship together, but it didn’t last long. We found out we had nothing in common” she said. “I also wondered if I had met him in a different place and different conditions, like at the office or in the club, I would have been attracted  by him”  she asked.  For sure, the proximity effect has played a huge role here. But this kind of relationship rarely leads to something serious.

In the second case, it’s different. Y. ,28, told me she fell in love with on of her roommates when she was studying to become a lawyer. And now they’re getting married. “We just realized we had some much in common. We fell progressively in love with each other, it wasn’t love at first sight. We were friends before getting together” she explained. “But of course, the proximity played a huge role too. If we didn’t share an apartment, we would have probably missed each other”  she added.

The proximity, the fact that you know your roommate sometimes better than his/her partners and  the special platonic relationship you create between you can lead to love. But sometimes, it’s not mutual. H.,34, explained she fell in love with her roommate too. But he was gay. “We had so much in common. We were so close together, I gave him advices for his love life, he gave me advices for my look,… I realized I had fallen in love with him, I attached myself to him badly. But the day he announced me he was moving out with the love of his life, I was devastated” she said.   

Falling for your neighbour/ roommate can lead to something serious, a so-so love, or a big disappointment. One of my friends says that’s why she chooses her apartment in function of the neighbours. Her rule: finding only ugly neighbours. 

One of my single female friend isn’t shy when it comes to approaching men. She told me she like flirting with them, even though she doesn’t expect anything serious, just because of their reactions.  She said she’s waiting for a real man, “who won’t be afraid if I make the first move and be able to handle it”. “Most of the guys I met in bars and at the disco are intimated by me. They feel so embarrassed when I try to start the conversations with them”  she added.  “The only ones who don’t blush and are able to keep a conversation with me are either under the influence of drugs or alcohol, or maybe both” she said.

It’s quite curious what she told me. Because recently, a woman I met complained about how she gets accosted all the time. She said she does nothing to attract men in particular. But she’s shy and a little bit mysterious, and I guess that’s what turns men on.

Does this mean that men don’t like to be hunted and when roles are inverted?  Not necessarily. H., 35, told me that if she hasn’t made the first move with her husband, she would probably never marry him. “He blushed and didn’t know what to say when I first met him, but as I was a little bit desperate and thinking about leaving him, he found the courage to ask for my telephone number, and the rest is history”  she said.

Y. ,31, told me she has another tactic for flirting. “It’s all about letting him the impression he gets the control of everything, while it’s not”  she explained. “Usually, if I spot a potential partner, I try to approach him and stand in his sight. It works 80 % of the time” she said.

So, ladies, what’s your strategy for flirting with men ? And gentlemen, do you run away when a woman is accosting you?

  The myth of the prince charming is still going strong when you ask women about what they expect from a man. But “prince charming” isn’t the exact term for describing the man of a woman’s dream anymore. The term has nothing to do  anymore with the one described in those fairy tales. Of course, it depends a lot on the women’s age you’re asking the question. If she’s under 18, you’ll get a different answer than from a woman over 25.

Under 18, the criterias for the man of a woman’s dream sum up to this: rich, nice and handsome. “I want a man who can transform my life into a living fairy tale” says J., 17.”I want a man who will make all  my girlfriends jealous” tells Y., 16.

Over 18, these criterias improve a little bit. In fact, it depends a lot on how romantic the woman is. If she’s not, she will look for a wealthy, powerful man, for example. H., 32, is convinced that she will find the man of her dream among the CEOs and other managers, but she hasn’t found her Mr. Right  yet though.  If she’s romantic, she will look for ” a friend with benefits”. “I want a good lover but also someone I can get along very well with. I want  a real chemistry between us” tells K. ,25. 

Of course, it’s impossible to generalize what every woman wants in a man, because we’re all different. Some women I know have a very long list of requirements when it comes to the man of their dreams.  It goes from the physical criterias (not to hairy/ hairy, tall/ short, blue/ green, brown eyes, athletic/ muscular/ androgyn, …) to the many aspects of his personality (gentle, intelligent, rebel, unsubordinate, creative, polite, …) And these women won’t necessarily compromise if they don’t find him. “I’ve always had high expectations for the man of my dreams. I’ve been picky, I didn’t want to lower my requirements, and I eventually find my man”  a lucky S., 34, said. “ But my list was realistic: I just wanted him to be a real gentleman, good looking,  nice with my friends and my family, intelligent and with a little sense of humor” she added. “But even with this list,  men like that are a rare breed”.

Some women also told me they weren’t looking for their prince charming. R., 29, says she doesn’t believe in “all those bullshits”. “If I feel the right chemistry between us, then I know he’s the one” she said. “I have no criteria when it comes to men, except maybe hygiene and intelligence” she recognizes.

I wasn’t looking for a precise type of men when I met the light of my life the first time. I just appreciate the fact we could get along so well and that he shares most of my tastes.  I just let things happen.

So, do you really select a man because he fits in your criterias or just follow your instinct ? And for the men reading this post, have you ever been rejected because you didn’t fit in a woman’s criterias ? Do you have an ideal of the woman of your dream ?