…than to love someone

If your ex offers you to find you someone else when it’s just over, would you accept this? Personally, I wouldn’t. This is too awkward. It’s a way to say: “let’s remain friends” but also a way to say: “it will never work between you and me”.

Besides, when you get dumped, this proposition can be hard to stomach. Because in your heart, you still like him/her very much, and you know that it’s him/her, and no one else. And if you don’t like him/her, you don’t want to hear from him/her afterward. So, if he/she picks a man/woman for you, chances are he/she will remain in your life.

A friend of mine told me that six months ago, her ex broke up with her, but offered her to find someone else for her as she was crying. She said it wasn’t appropriate at all to say that to her at the time. And added it was really weird. Besides, when she did find someone else two months later, her ex became jealous and wanted her back. “So, I doubt he would have really looked for someone else for me” she said.

A proper break-up needs some distance. It’s best for you both if you remain far away from him/her, especially if he/she’s the one who called it quits. Otherwise, it will break your heart again when he/she moves on, and you’ll be tempted to want him/her back, with the chances to be rejected again.

Plus, jumping into a new relationship straight away when it’s over isn’t such a good idea. Remember, rebound relationships rarely works. And it can leave you even worse than you were before that if it doesn’t work.

So, if he/she offers you to find someone else for you, maybe it’s just a way for him/her to feel less guilty about leaving you. It’s like asking you to remain friends, asking you to have still some control over your life.

Only time and the help of your friends and family can help you to mend your broken heart. It’s not up to your ex to take care of your broken heart. He/she broke it into pieces, remember.

Among all the stories I hear from my friends, neither of them ended really well because their ex remained into their life if there’s no good reason for it. And even if you have children together, this doesn’t mean you have to be the best buddies ever.