Baratiner. In French, this word is used when you lie to someone. It is also used to describe a way of cruising, particularly among the young. Yet, when men grow up, this doesn’t disappear. It can even evolve into a sophisticated lie.

Normally, following this simple rule as mentioned in the rules would prevent you to get fooled: let him call you. If he doesn’t, then you know he’s just playing with you. It goes without saying that you shouldn’t spend the night with him directly.

But there are curious cases. A., let’s call him that way because it is the first letter of Asshole,  did call, not only once, but twice after a date. He would play with you the “me too” and asks a lot of questions about yourself. He would elaborate projects in the future with you, and promise you thick and thin.

Then, all of a sudden, A. becomes distant with you. Once he made sure you were falling in love with him.  Some of my friends think men like that are just afraid of commitment. But in the case of A., he got married twice. Maybe in between (and during) his marriages, he’s just playing it as a sentimental delinquent.

In any case, this is what we call a toxic man. How do you heal from that kind of ASSHOLE? Well, take your distance with him. And if you feel blue and want to get in touch with him, follow this advice a very good friend of mine gave me: send your SMS/email to a friend and call a friend instead of him.

And remember: on the long run, a lie is unsustainable. Sooner or later, you will discover the truth. Even if it hurts.

As I evolve right now in the thirty-something world, many people ask me if I plan to get married or have children really soon. Most women of my age fall into that category.  But I don’t see why I should absolutely follow their example. And many of my single friends agree with this. After all, we decide what we want to do with our life. It’s not our age that should decide what we have to do.

It’s true that most of thirty-something women follow the same social pattern. That particular age is the one where our professional career finally takes off after many years spent to build something without that much success.

It could also be that age where we finally find the career we want to follow. A friend of mine only found recently what she wanted to do in her life. So, this is the right time women choose to have a baby. Or not.

Yet, some women do have their kids earlier or later because life has decided otherwise. A friend of mine, who’s 42, told me she lost hope to have a kid and settle down. She’s not exactly what we could call a conventional woman. But she has lived her life like she wanted so far. This included living in various countries,  changing jobs and men repeatedly.

For those who hear their biological clock ticking, this age can also be a problem. I’ve seen many women of my age adopting curious eating habits, dieting to the extreme, abusing sports and looking for the help of surgery just because they feel it’s now or never to catch their “prey” or keep him. It’s among them that you will find the one who can’t go out without any makeup, high heels, and a killer style. They are also the ones who have a more daring sexuality (and who collect sextoys).  Younger women are generally too shy or too unexperienced to do this. And older women don’t care or are much confident about how they look to try this.

This is an age where we can make our key choices. We can choose convention, tradition, order, and its opposite, confusion. I guess  I chose the last one. I know I’m not the only one.

So, when did you know you had to follow your own path?