My step-children are visiting for a week. My husband and I have been together for a year, but it doesn’t seem to be getting easier when it comes to his children. There are moments when I just don’t know if I’m cut out to be a step-parent. I love him though and I love them too.

It seems our biggest problem is that the children don’t respect me because I’m not their mom. They believe that the only people they should listen to are their mother and father. This bothers me a lot because I have raised my children to respect all adults. I’m raising my boys exactly how my mom raised me. My husband was raised the same way too. We expect children to listen and do what they are told, to clean up after themselves, and to always respect your elders. These are things that I just won’t budge on. Unfortunately, this is obviously not how my step-children are being raised.

When the kids are out of line, their father does not discipline them for what I believe is him not wanting to seen like a bad guy because he doesn’t get to see then as often as he’d like. I can understand how he feels but what he fails to realize is that its teaching them that they don’t really have to listen. My step-daughter asked for $20 and when I told her we didn’t have that kind of money to just give her she got upset and said “I wasn’t talking to you, I was talking to my daddy and asking him for money, NOT YOU!” I tried to explain to her that it was not just his money. She then told me that I would just have to “get over it.” My husband laughed which only encouraged her. When we got home she was very rude yet again. It was at this point I asked to see him in the bedroom. “I DON’T CARE! GO AHEAD AND TALk ABOUT ME! YOU AREN’T MY MOM ANYWAY!” This was being yelled from the living room. It was only then that he realized what we were dealing with.

Again, not wanting to be the bad guy, he left it to me to figure out, except this time he would support me. I let it be known what would be expected while they are here. They seem to understand but it is still difficult. I continue to try to be the best I can possibly be for them. I just hope that one day they can understand that although I’m not their mom, I’m not their enemy either.