This one courtesy of Meanderings…
You are starch. You are rigid, opinionated,
hard-willed and not too friendly about it. You
keep people out of places, or you keep them in,
and without you a lot of things would collapse.
hopefully you’ll never have the authority to
burn people at the stake. Sir. Ma’am.
Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla
Just one hospital reporting in this Sunday, briths from October 28 through November 17, and honestly, I’m a bit disappointed with the pickings. But we’ll wade on in…
Miss Shannessey W——- has a new son, Jayln Lebron. No daddy be listed… I’d personally stay away from names that contain the sound of “jail”… And keeping up on the “jail” theme, Miss Sandra K——- named her son Jaylon Joseph. She be missin’ da babydaddy too…
Miss Tiffany P—- also seems to be missing de daddy of her new daughter. She named the child Malayah Cheyenne, simultaneously tying her to a southeast Asian country and a tribe of indigenous people…
Miss Carnice M—- , also short a babydaddy, hangs the title of Caiden Akira Michelle on her new daughter. Akira? Didn’t he used to be a big monster who destroyed Tokyo??? Oh, and that’s a three-bagger… Two middle names…
Casey and Penni T—– are in love with the letter “E”. Accordingly, they tagged theor new daughter with Aubree Mae… I guess Penni was traumatized by the lack of a “Y” on her own name…
Miss Nadyia A—– and Mr. Thomas B—— named their new daughter Gilayia Jean. Hmmm! Gilayia butt down in dere. I’ll be in dere in a minit!
Miss Markia J—- and Mr. Ke’Shawn T——- perpetuated the “capital letter after the extraneous apostrophe” rule by naming the new son Ke’Shawn Lavell.
Mr. Kenny and Mrs. Shantell M——- named their son Koy Lynn. Koy????
Matt L— and Nikki P—– got creative with little Ramzey Lee… Doesn’t that “Z” just give it CLASS?????
Miss Ebony P———- and Mr. Brian D—- named their daughter Brooklyn Bri’jae. I’m NOT kidding. Fist time I looked, I thought, “These people named their kid “Brooklyn Bridge”. Look at it! Brooklyn Bridge! Oh, I’m so sorry… I missed the apostrophe thrown in there to make it “bree-zhay” instead of “bridge”.
And skipping over several other minor contretemps, we end with Mr. Brent and Mrs. Jayme N—– tagging their daughter with Kaylee Renee. Don’t you just love all the “E’s”?
Got my DSL back up and running. Somewhere along the line the modem seems to have reset itself. My ISP doesn’t initially trust people to set up their own DSL modems. When you sign up for DSL, they set up your modem and give it to you so all you have to do is go home and plug it into the wall and plug your computer into the modem and you’re online.
That’s great until the modem resets and loses the configuration they put into it, like mine did. Then, in the absence of any instruction, I tried every trick I knew to get it fixed over the weekend when their tech support was off on the Thanksgiving holiday. I didn’t know enough. When I finally did get hold of tech support, a very helpful dude and I ran through the reconfiguration and then I saved it as a backup for future efforts. They’re a wonderful bunch, our little local phone/cable/ISP, but the fact that they roll back support to emergencies on weekends and after 5:30 on weekdays is a bit of a problem for some of us…
Work has been fun of late. We’re going through the billing cycle for a lot of the big efforts we conducted immediately following the hurricane. It seems that we’re doing pretty good on the majority of the stuff, but some of the tracking on paperwork was, shal we say, less than stellar furing that mad three or four weeks after Rita. Charges were posted to wrong job numbers. Invoices were sent to the wrong offices for rental equipment. That sort of thing…, and I **HATE** dealing with the paperwork associated with some of that stuff, but I and the unique Chrissy are getting past it. She yells at me a lot during these times.
Life at the FEMAtorium is pretty good. It is tremendously wonderful to have my own private space in which to take refuge. For a grizzled old batchelor type, this 8×30 trailer could be a lot worse. I could still be living at the office. However, the system breaks down a bit when you have a rainy Saturday with an antsy teenager in the place. It really gets bad when BOTH kids are here. The best bet is to get out and go somewhere, the mall, a movie, maybe just a drive in the country…
All things considered, though, life is pretty good right now. The tail end of November is a beautiful part of the year here. Highs in the afternoon hit the mid-sixties, and it’s goning into the mid forties tonight… I lack for almost nothing in life right now, despite the recent loss of the house. Yeah, it would be nice to have a normal amount of elbow room, but that’ll happen sooner than later. I could be rolling in money, but I don’t have to worry about money, what with a good job and all. Hey, there are a lot of people in this world that have it a lot worse than this ol’ Cajun… Sound content? I am…
Funny that this one should show up on the weekend that my DSL is down at the FEMAtorium. I’m at my office right now doing laundry. That’s how THIS post showed up, in case you’re wondering…
From Minivan Mom comes this little jewel on blogging. SHE got it from Pebble Pie. Both of these ladies are on my blogroll.
A bit of a teaser:
7. I will read a book … if I still remember how.
9. I will not be tempted during TV commercials to check for new comments on my blog.
12. Last, but not least, I will remember that I must go to bed sometime… and the blog will always be there tomorrow.
And don’t laugh. I know some of YOU fit this article better’n **I** do…
(From a post on CSP Political Pages by “Bob – The Beagle Master”)
New Rule: Stop giving me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There’s a reason you don’t talk to people for 25 years. Because you don’t particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.
New Rule: Don’t eat anything that’s served to you out a window unless you’re a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy’s chili. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it was a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.
New Rule: Stop saying that teenage boys who have sex with their hot, blonde teachers are permanently damaged. I have a better description for these kids: lucky bastards.
New Rule: If you need to shave and you still collect baseball cards, you’re gay. If you’re a kid, the cards are keepsakes of your idols. If you’re a grown man, they’re pictures of men.
New Rule: Ladies, leave your eyebrows alone. Here’s how much men care about your eyebrows: do you have two of them? Okay, we’re done.
New Rule: There’s no such thing as flavored water. There’s a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some scotch over ice and let it melt. That’s your flavored water.
New Rule: Stop f***ing with old people. Target is introducing a redesigned pill bottle that’s square, with a bigger label. And the top is now the bottom. And by the time grandpa figures out how to open it, his ass will be in the morgue. Congratulations, Target, you just solved the Social Security crisis.
New Rule: The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a “decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n’-Low and one NutraSweet,” ooh, you’re a huge asshole.
New Rule: I’m not the cashier! By the time I look up from sliding my card, entering my PIN number, pressing “Enter,” verifying the amount, deciding, no, I don’t want cash back, and pressing “Enter” again, the kid who is supposed to be ringing me up is standing there eating my Almond Joy. Paper, plastic? I don’t have time for that. I’ve just been called to do a cleanup on Aisle Nine!
New Rule: Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn’t make you spiritual. It’s right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to “beef with broccoli.” The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren’t pregnant. You’re not spiritual. You’re just high.
New Rule: Competitive eating isn’t a sport. It’s one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What’s next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They’re already doing that. It’s called “The Howard Stern Show.”
New Rule: I don’t need a bigger mega M&M. If I’m extra hungry for M&Ms, I’ll go nuts and eat two.
New Rule: If you’re going to insist on making movies based on crappy, old television shows, then you have to give everyone in the Cineplex a remote so we can see what’s playing on the other screens. Let’s remember the reason something was a television show in the first place is the idea wasn’t good enough to be a movie.
New Rule: No more gift registries. You know, it used to be just for weddings. Now it’s for babies and new homes and graduations from rehab. Picking up the stuff you want and having other people buy it for you isn’t gift giving, it’s the white people version of looting.
New Rule, and this one is long overdue: No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can’t even tell if he’s supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don’t want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.
New Rule: When I ask how old your toddler is, I don’t need to know in months. “27 Months.” “He’s two,” will do just fine. He’s not a cheese. And I didn’t care in the first place.
DSL is down at the FEMAtorium, and I don’t know if I will be able to get tech support to work with me until next Monday. If I do post, it’s liable to be rather sparse stuff…
I was just thinking about the wild ride we’ve taken around here since last Thanksgiving Day. There’s nothing like a bit of adversity to bring Thanksgiving Day back into perspective.
Dear Lord, I am thankful:
…for good friends. I have some. Some work with me every day. Some are regular visitors to this blog. Some even show up after being gone for thirty-five years, like my old friend Walter who I just got finished talking with for the first time since October 1970. I am thankful for all of you.
…for my health. I’m in pretty good shape for 55, fat and bald. Finally getting a handle on high blood pressure. I don’t bend as easily nor straighten back up as readily as I once did, but I’m still capable of working all day and enjoying life.
…for my home. My little temporary housing unit, the FEMAtorium. Try living in YOUR office for seven or eight weeks. You’ll be thankful for a CLOSET you can call your own.
…for my family. Brother, sisters, kids. And I still miss Mom and Dad…
…for my job. I work for a great company, I work with great people, and I can count my clients as friends. I don’t have a job, I have a hobby that pays well.
…for Southwest Louisiana. We all marvelled at the horrors of Hurricane Katrina at the other corner of the state, and a month later we had our own disaster served up in the form of Rita. Except it wasn’t the same people… These people around here got down to business. Our government acted responsibly. Our people rolled up their sleeves and went to work. And three months later, you can still see piles of debris and blue-tarped roofs, and yes, those little white trailers, but our people pulled together.
…for the United States of America. No, it’s not perfect. It’s just better than every place else.
Yes, I am thankful…
DWARF
You are a dwarf. A dwarf is a
short and stout creature that resembles a
human. However they are much hairier and
usually can be seen sporting a very long and
thick beard. They are industrious and
hardworking. Dwarves symbolize technology,
diligence, loyalty, fortitude, and ingenuity.
Which mythical creature resides in your soul? (11 Results + Pictures)
brought to you by Quizilla
Okay! A 6’2″ GIANT dwarf… The rest of it is pretty much true…
(This one from Rules for Rulers)
Boudreaux (pronounced “boo-dro”) is the archtypical Cajun fall guy, the butt of a slew of delightful jokes Cajuns tell among themselves and to others. In today’s episode, Boudreaux is looking for work.
A construction site boss was interviewing men for a job, when along came Boudreaux. The boss thought “I’m not hiring that lazy Cajun…”, so he decided to set a test for Boudreaux, hoping he wouldn’t be able to answer the questions, and he’d be able to refuse him the job without getting into an argument.
The first question was, Without using numbers, represent the number 9. Boudreaux says, “Dat’s easy” and proceeds to draw three tree’s.
The boss says, “What the hells that?”
Boudreaux says “Tree ‘n tree n’ tree makes nine”.
Fair enough, says the boss.
Second question, same rules, but represent 99. Boudreaux stares into space for a while, then makes a smudge on each tree. “Der ya go sir” he says.
The boss scratches his head and says, ” How on earth do you get that to represent 99?
Boudreaux says ” each tree’s dirty now! so it’s dirty tree, n’ dirty tree n’ dirty tree, dats 99.
The boss is getting worried he’s going to have to hire him, so he says, “All right, question three. Same rules again, but represent the number 100”.
Boudreaux stares into space again, then he shouts, “I got it!” he makes a little mark at the base of each tree, and says “There ya go sir. 100.”
The boss looks at Boudreaux’s attempt and thinks, “Ha! got him this time.” “Go on Boudreaux, you must be crazy if you think that represents a hundred.”
Boudreaux leans forward and points to the marks at the tree bases, and says, “A little dog comes along and craps by each tree, so now ya got, dirty tree an’ a turd, dirty tree an’ a turd, and dirty tree an’ a turd, which makes a hundred, when do I start my job?”
I’m sitting here in my FEMAtorium reading the morning paper. Son Corey is playing a video game on the 13″ TV that comprises the home entertainment center here, and daughter Bonnie is in the bathroom doing those mysterious things that teenage daughters do. It’s a drizzly, grey day.
But wait! I’ve been rescued from my ennui by the Sunday newspaper! And lookey! Here’s the birth announcements! That always gets me stirred. Okay… I definitely need a life sometimes… No, with these two kids in an 8×30 trailer, I need RELIEF…
Today we have the report of one hospital from October 10 to November 1. This hospital has apparently decided to NOT post middle names. I don’t like this because it denies us access to the innovative poetic artistry that my fellow denizens of Southwest Louisiana bring to bear in naming their offspring… Well, enough chit-chat. Let us proceed.
Under the “K” is cooler than “C” category, we have a few.
Miss Amelia L—— and Mr. Michael C—— are naming their new son Kasey.
Following in their footsteps, Mr. & Mrs. Darryl R—- named their boy Kolten, but I am not sure if there’s a change in spelling, since I don’t remember seeing a lot of that name to compare with…
Mr. & Mrs. Kendall D—— threw the spelling book out the door in naming their daughter Kameren. Since there are two boys in today’s paper named “Cameron”, one must assume that “Kameren” is the feminine spelling. Okay? Good!
There are a bunch of kids about to descend on public schools to terrorize teachers trying to keep track of names. Here’s the “where did you come up with THAT?” category.
Georgie E—- and Diondra J—- have a new daughter, (Hang on! This is gonna be a rough ride…) Dionjra’nae. I cannot begin to tell you how strange this whole thing is. The two listed parents? Which one is which? And how do you pronounce the baby’s name. And I’d sure like to see the middle name that goes with that first name…
Counterpoint that with Mr. & Mrs. Bret B——–, who named their daughter Jo. Yep! Jo. Two letters. No apostrophes. No hyphens. No strings of strangely adjacent consonants and vowels. Just Jo. Now, how in the world do you think a child with THAT name will ever be a success in life?
Sharon W——- and Jemarick A—- have a new daughter named Ja’Marcia. Note the classy use of the capital letter after the extraneous apostrophe. That’s what tells you that these are people of quality…
Twana T—– and Elliott T—– have a new little girl, Jailynn. I like the way they managed to use “jail” in the baby’s name…
Shereese D—– and Justin H—– have a new son, Maleek. I particularly savor the use of “ee” instead of “i” in pseudo-ethnocentric names.
Yowanda C—– and Mark G—– announce their new son Ja’Marquen. Yowanda what the he** these people are thinking…
Miss Vera C—— has a new son, little Je’Marques. Dah baby daddy doan’ be given…
Miss Natasha A—- has a new daughter, Na’Kera. Dere be anudder baby daddy missin’.
And Miss Cecilia L——– and Mr. Travis M—— announce their new son, Traron.
Jana D—– and Joshua S—— have a new son, Jarins. Yeah, boy! Jah wash dem plates, den jarins’ dem…
Okay! I give up! To all you new parents who gave plain ol’ boring names to your kids, names like James and Emma and Ethan, good luck too…
As the story below relates, yesterday I managed to connect a temporary electrical power cable to my little home from the neighbor’s house. This cost me a couple of hours labor and about forty dollars worth of parts, mostly wire. I did this because I’d been on the phone with the local electric utility and they could tell me only that they would have me connected by December 5, another two weeks down the road. Not wanting to spend another two weeks in the office, I took things into my own hands.
Actually, the Dec. 5 date was the latest I’d have power. this morning, I woke up, got dressed, ate breakfast, and was bumbling around, tidying up when I heard a truck pull into my drive. I looked out and there was an electrical service truck. Saturday morning. 8 AM. It’s now five minutes till nine, and I am on my own power pole. Another little step towards what passes for independence. I owe my neighbor for 14 hours of electricity… I’m thinking a beer should cover it…
Eight weeks ago I left my home, evacuating in the face of the oncoming Hurricane Rita. During the ensuing eight weeks, I have slept in the homes of friends, in a plant, in various motels, and mostly, in my office.
Tonight that is over. I am sitting here in this little 8×30 foot trailer, a FEMA-provided “temporary housing unit”. I tapped my neighbor’s breaker box for power until the local utility company can get around to providing the official hook-up to my temporary power pole. I have cable TV and, as you might note, I have internet access, DSL, to be exact.
This might not be the Taj Mahal, but it is HOME!
Tomorrow is a yard day. I will do the clean-up and straighten up the yard, maybe high-pressure wash the slab that’s left of the old house, and maybe even take a picture or two so you can see what’s happening down here…
But tonight I’m home… Might not be much, but it is mine!
I wait for this every year, starting in April… the first really cool evenings of the fall season. The expected low temperature tonight is in the lower 30’s. High tomorrow might reach 60. and I love it. These are the days I live for.
As I observed the waning light after sunset and felt the crisp dry fall air, life seemed pretty good, even though the utility company hasn’t connected electricity to my new temporary housing unit, and I’m spending yet another night in my office.
But things are getting better. If I don’t have the official utility connection tomorrow, I have an okay from my neighbor to tap his house for electricity, so I’m thinking that Saturday I should be on line at the new place…
