Woke up this morning to overcast skies and lukewarm, damp temperatures, and knowing that I’d lost an hour due to the daylight savings time change. Oh, well…
The morning’s paper has one hospital’s births from Feb. 26 to March 22: 34 births, 21 marriages. Let’s see what we get today…
Under the “I hope they like the letter “Y”” category:
Miss Angyl G—— continues the pattern of poor taste by naming her baby girl Jayde Elysabeth. Miss Angyl chose not to name the baby daddy… Mayhap she fails to live up to her namesake…
Miss Kimberly F— and Mr. Richard M——- announce their new son, Braxtyn Andrew. Give the kid a last name for a first name, and then spell it goofy. A sure key to success…
A really CUTE couple, Cody and Jody (I dunno which is which) J——– have a new son, Aydyn Paul.
I guess that the letter “i” is too common for these people…
We get only one punctuation freak out of today’s list.
Ronald and Belinda L—- have a new son, little Keithen J’Marcus. Note that they are adherents to the “capitalize the letter after the lame-assed apostrophe” rule.
Next we have the catch-all, the names that make you wonder what these people were thinking:
Miss Ashley E—— and Mr. Jamie R—— were thinking “cute” when they named their little girl Bailee (with two “E’s”) Grace.
Miss Shawntell G——- and Mr. Ronald W—– were thinking they didn’t want their kid mistaken for a Scotsman when they named him MaKeithen Wayne. Note the innovative use of an “a” instead of a “c” while still retaining an extra capital letter when using a surname for a first name. Extra points, folks!
Stacy and Kalinda Dodd were thinking of “Roots” re-runs when they named their daughter Ashauntai Nicole. They weren’t thinking that the kid’ll be fifteen before she learns how to spell her own name.
LaToya B—– and David S—– probably watched the same re-run and came up with Maniyah Marie.
Robert and Jill S———– weren’t thinking of playgrounds when they named their daughter Bliss Nicole. “Hey, here comes the Bliss-ter…”
And that leaves us at a good stopping point…