The U.N. : SNAFU

In case you’ve lived a protected existence, “SNAFU” is a neat little acronym for “Situation Normal: All Fowled UP!”, except that we very seldom said “fowled” when other words would better represent the totality of the degradation of a particular system.

The United Nations elevates this statement to an artform. The UN has a “Human Rights” commission? You can bet it will be chaired by a representative from a country where “human rights” belong only to such humans as are on the ruling despot’s staff.

The UN has a Commission on Sustainable Development. In case you’re wondering, sustainable developmentt is defined as “balancing the fulfillment of human needs with the protection of the Natural environment so that these needs can be met not only in the present, but in the indefinite future”.

Now, if you’re looking to chair a commission on sustainable development with an eye to an “indefinite future” then the UN has had a moment of unusual clarity, because they’d decided to select their chairman from Zimbabwe. Do a google on Zimbabwe and you’ll see how, in twenty years, a nation once known as the “breadbasket of Africa” is now a shambles with four figure annual inflation, starvation, life expectancy in the thirty odd year range and living on food imports even as it defaults on loans. You can’t beat Zimbabwe for “indefinite future”.

Zimbabwe is enduring the world’s highest inflation, at more than 2000%, mass unemployment, and there are widespread accusations of civil rights abuses.

On Wednesday it was announced that households in Zimbabwe were to be limited to four hours’ electricity a day, between 1700 and 2100 local time.

The measure, to ensure that wheat farmers are guaranteed the power needed to irrigate their crops, will be in place for the next three months, the state power provider said.

But hey, they’re headed toward sustainability. Recent comments by radical environmentalists opined that the planet has entirely too many humans to be ecologically sound. Robert Mugabe, President of Zimbabwe, is doing his level best to remedy the situation. You have to remember that an agrarian subsistence society like pre-colonization Africa is eminently sustainable. So maybe, just maybe, the UN has a better handle on this than they usually get credit for.

The Name Game XCVII

Another week come and gone… Seventy something degrees this morning in southwest Louisiana under clear skies, and the temperature’s headed to ninety-plus with only medium humidity. I don’t expect to see a lot of days without ninety-plus highs for the next six months. So I’m sitting here reading the Sunday paper, and I find we have one hospital reporting births from March 30 to May 2. They list 32 new births, 13 of them to parents who passed on that marriage thing, and six of the new mommies found reason not to list a baby daddy.

Miss Amanda S. has a new baby girl, little Ma’Kiya Faith. She doesn’t have a name to put in the “father” slot on the birth record. But she made up for it by giving her baby girl a “special” name with her own personal apostrophe…

Miss Skye F. presents her baby girl, little Jaryn Joe. She too doesn’t present us with an idea of who the daddy is…

The next names are a pair. On the same day in the same hospital, Willie F. III and Ashley V. bring us Laynie Kay and Russell R. & Tanya S. bring us Raynie Brooke. Laynie & Raynie! Tell me that AIN’T cute!

Dominic & Keoshia R. have a new son that’s special enough to require three names: Kevin Dominic Allen.

Miss Tiffany W. has a new son, little Keelan Blaize. Note that she had the good sense to add an “i” to “Blaize”, thus saving him from being named after a famous stripper. She didn’t list little Keelan’s sperm donor’s name. I don’t know if that’s good sense or not…

Miss Alyssa W. shows us her new offspring, little Zorianna Malae’. Little Zorianna has her own apostrophe, too, and a big blank in the “father” blank on the birth record.

Keith & Tess H. present their new daughter, little Brilee Danyell. Note taht Keith & Tess don’t want to spend the rest of their lives explaining that “Danielle” is pronounced “dan-YELL” to a bunch of gamma-minus relatives. Or maybe Keith & Tess didn’;t know better themselves.

Miss Lerneisha S. brings out her new daughter, Takiya Alissa. “Takiya”? Isn’t that a menu item at the Mexican restaurant? Oh, that’s a “taquito”. Sorry. I was confused. Hey, it happens. Miss Lerneisha was probably confused about the circumstances of her daughter’s conception, because a “father” ain’t listed…

Sidney & Estefania S. attempt to restore harmony to the universe after all those kids with three given names. They name their new son “Ahmeer”. No middle name, just “Ahmeer”.

And that’s the end of the list for this week, folks. Have a good week.