Here’re a couple of small tool stories.
Years ago, when I was working for the big ol’ chemical company, I ended up doing some time in their electric shop. Most of my time there was spend rebuilding worn-out electric motors. This is a task much more mechanical than electrical in nature. Accordingly, I collected a few tools that were not considered part of the electrician’s arsenal. I was in the shop one day when one of my machinist friends walked by, cussing under his breath.
“What’s wrong with you?” I asked.
He held out a steel ruler. “I was milling a shaft and my ruler got caught in the cutter.” He showed me a twelve-inch long steel machinist’s rule. The end was mangled pretty bad. “I’m gone throw it in the dumpster.”
“Hey,” I said. “Let me have it. I need a good straight-edge.” Some of my work involved making sure things were sufficiently straight, and the edge of that ruler would fit the bill perfectly. He shrugged and handed it to me.
Being the careful person that I am, I realized the the mangled end of that ruler as a safety hazard, all sharp and hookish, so I hacksawed the end off right at the 1-inch mark, then smoothed the saw marks off with a file. Voila! Straightedge! I tossed it into my tool drawer and used it whenever the need came up.
Fast forward a few weeks. I’m working over a little motor and doing my observations of human nature in an industrial setting, and along comes one of my co-workers.
“Hey,” he says, “I need to borrow a ruler.”
“Sure,” I answered. “There’s one in my drawer.”
He grabs the tool and heads off. After lunch he’s back, and he’s pi**ed. “Dammit! You sure screwed me!” he says.
I’m confused. “How?”
I took your ruler and set up my cuts on the chop saw, and cut six pieces, and they’re all an inch short. Your da*n ruler’s an INCH short!”
“Oh,” I said. “Sorry about that. I only use it for a straight edge. I NEVER measure anything with it.”
Another time I had some bolts broken off in a motor and I went to our toolroom to get something to get the broken pieces out of the hole. I was pretty good buddies with the toolroom attendant, and I told him what I needed.
“You know,” he says, “I got just the thing for you.” He opened a drawer and plops down a little blue and yellow envelope. “These are quarter-inch LEFT_HANDED drill bits. You use then, they’ll drill into the bolt and if it gets loose, they’ll back it right out. Works better’n an EZ-Out.”
EZ-Out is a hardened steel tool supposedly made to fit a little hole drilled in a stuck bolt to allow you to back the stuck part out. What they normally do is break off, turning your relatively soft steel bolt into a soft steel bolt with a hardened steel insert that’s almost impossible to drill. I knew about EZ-Outs, and I was willing to try an alternative. I took the package of left-handed drill bits.
They work just fine, just like he said. My bolts were out. But I had me a FIND. You see, normal drill bits are right-handed. NOBODY expects to find a left-handed bit at, say, the shop drill press, or maybe in the box of drill bits on the workbench.
From my workstation I had a good view of the drill press, and it was a couple of days before somebody needed a quarter-inch hole. “Hey, look here! Just the bit I’m looking for!” He chucked up that little surprise, not noticing that it twisted the wrong way. He put the workpiece on the table of the drill press and turned the press on, then hauled down on the handle to drill the hole.
And it didn’t drill. It was spinning. He was pressing down on the handle, But no hole was happening. Pressed harder. Still no hole. Harder. Heat was building up. The cutting oil put on the workpiece to make a smooth cool cut was now smoking copiously. Something was clearly wrong. He finally shut the press down and removed the bit. It had rounded itself off considerably from all the heat of trying to cut a hole backwards. He decided to swap it for another and shuffled off to the toolroom to change it out.
When he came back, he headed straight for me. I put on my ‘innocent’ face.
“Hey,” he says, “Robinson said he gave you a package of left-handed drill bits.”
“Yeah,” I said, “best thing I ever found for getting broken bolts out. You need one? I got some in my drawer.” You know, I’m nothing if not helpful to my fellow man…
“No,” he said, “one of them ended up on the drill press. I liked to started a fire trying to drill a hole with it.”
“Oh,” I said. “You need to use a hand drill with a reverse, otherwise it just won’t work at all.”
I grinned. Of such things does one rescue a day from boredom.