My piece of the pie is rotten

If you follow this blog you know that I spent that last two weeks in class at work, learning the care and feeding of large natural gas fueled engines that we use to move gas up the pipeline from down here where it’s produced to points east and north where it is needed. The subject matter was an interesting change from my normal scope of duties and the instructor was an expert on the subject and one darned good teacher.

One of the things I learned was that when these engines were designed, the EPA was some sort of bad dream only found in the diseased minds of abusers of heavy drugs. That was then. This is now. Students of engine operations know there is a certain proportion of fuel to air that produces maximum power. We can’t run many of our engines there. Why? Because we’re not interested in maximum power any more. We’re interested in minimum pollution, and that ‘maximum power’ thing give a higher level of oxides of nitrogen.

That’s okay, though. We learned how to operate there, and we tested our engines regularly to see that they met the goal, and if one was acting up and emissions went up, we dutifully took it off line and fixed it. Life loped along. So they changed the rules. Where we could hit a “twenty” on the spotted owl-killing scale, they dropped the number to five. Okay, you guys on the pipeline, tighten up your acts. So the engineers twiddled and tightened things even more. And goals were met. But the baby seals were still crying from their big, soulful eyes, so the number was changed again.

You know, it’s getting VERY hard to meet the numbers. And our people tell the rulemakers. And the rulemakers say “Meet the numbers or face fines.” And our people say, “We can’t meet these numbers. We’ll have to shut down horsepower.” And the rulemakers say “Meet the numbers.” And that’s where we’re heading.

The policy-makers apparently think that we’ll keep lights on and homes heated by means of windmills and unicorn farts. I’m telling you that we folk who work in a real world have real and immutable laws to work with, things like Ohm’s Law and Boyles’ Law, and these laws and others like them say that you can’t move gas from the well to the end user without horsepower. ”’there are other laws too, and those laws, despite the attitude of the current administration, say that when it gets to the point that it costs more to do a thing, then you stop doing it, and that’s where a lot of industries, mine included, are headed.

Right now the daily fine for operating outside the emissions numbers is $27,500 a day for each violating unit, for each day you can’t prove you were IN compliance. You can’t make money like that. We do our level best, but the industry sees what is coming down the line for us. All we have to do is LOOK at Kalifornica, and we know that Kalifornica basically exists ONLY because people in the states abutting the borders DON”T have the same rules as Kalifornica. And the present administration wants us ALL to be like Kalifornica.

I can tell you about measuring parts per BILLION components in engine exhaust for chemicals like formaldehyde, and the only cure for THAT right now it to put a catalytic converter in the exhaust. And these things cost MORE than the engine they’re installed on and are as big a a small house AND they don’t last forever. And who’s gonna pay for this? You. The government makes rules, and we ALL pay. It’s a hidden tax. They don’t call it a tax, but they make a rule and YOU pay.

And folks, my industry is just a little slice of the pie that is modern America. Somewhere along the line, we’re going to recognize that the caresses we feel on our shoulders are really a hand reaching for our throats.

What happens then may be terrible to behold.

Effects of alcohol on vocabulary

Results of a recent study:

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWNRIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:
1. No thanks, I’m married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you’re not really my type.
4. Kebab? No thanks, I’m not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn’t it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn’t! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I’m not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won’t make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I’d hate to look like a fool!
9. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
10. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.

Today in History – February 28

1784 – John Wesley charters the Methodist Church.

1849
– Regular steamboat service from the west to the east coast of the United States begins with the arrival of the SS California in San Francisco Bay, 4 months 21 days after leaving New York Harbor. Due to the Panama Canal being some distance in the future, this trip goes all the way around the Horn.

1933 – Gleichschaltung: The Reichstag Fire Decree is passed in Germany a day after the Reichstag fire. Generate a crisis, then use it to pass laws that shut down your opponents. Worked then. Is it working now?

1956
– Forrester issued a patent for computer core memory. And why did they call it ‘core’ memory? Because the data was stored as the magnetic state of tiny little ferrite donut ‘cores’, written and accessed by tiny little copper wires. Interesting stuff,that.

1993
– Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms agents raid the Branch Davidian church in Waco, Texas with a warrant to arrest the group’s leader David Koresh. Four BATF agents and five Davidians die in the initial raid, starting a 51-day standoff. Is your church approved by the BATFE?

Today in History – February 27

1864 – American Civil War: The first Northern prisoners arrive at the Confederate prison at Andersonville, Georgia.

1951
– The Twenty-second Amendment to the United States Constitution, limiting Presidents to two terms, is ratified. If only it included Congress.

The state of me…

One more day of “Engine Fundamentals” school left. Folks, I need to explain my enthusiasm. I am familiar with many things, internal combustion engines being one of them. I’ve disassembled and repaired engines from motorcycles, light aircraft and motorcycles and kept thirty-year old engines running on a couple of boats. These last two weeks, though, has been like moving from high school biology to the last year of med school.

I knew that you needed four things for an internal combustion engine to run: fuel, air, compression and ignition. But his guy teaching this course, has taken us through ALL the variations and permutations of what happens inside the engine. Yes, we’re dealing with natural gas as a fuel, but fuel is fuel. I may never have to balance the combustion inside the cylinders of a 6000-horsepower beast, but I will darned sure better understand what goes on inside the Briggs and Stratton on a lawnmower with the same knowledge.

We spent today going over the characteristics of the big reciprocating compressors that these engines use to push gas up the pipeline. That’s another of those things that I knew a little about. Now I know MUCH more. Of course, all this reinforces my whole existence, because compared to these mechanical marvels, my electric motors and their centrifugal compressors are simple, like the difference between a grandfather clock and a digital watch.

The big engine/compressor combos are huge iron things with dozens of heavy pieces rumbling back and forth and side to side and round and round in interesting ways. MY stuff has TWO moving parts, both of which do one thing: spin. In the same direction. Oh, yeah, there’s a gearbox, so make that four big spinny things, and there’s a lube system, but they’re not as noisy, dirty, or big. And oh, they’re SO MUCH simpler.

On a down note, the news came to us today that one of my co-workers passed away. Several things come to mind: We’re talking about a really nice, just plain nice guy, and the world has too few people like this one. Today it has one less. Second, we’re not talking about an OLD guy. He was probably ten years younger than me, and wasn’t one subjecting his body to abuses like drugs, alcohol and tobacco. No, the worst thing he had going was a slight thickness around the waistline that comes to many of us at that age. He’s been off work for the last few months. It started with a seizure, then diagnosis, and trips to the medical centers at Houston, and we thought things were turning the corner, then suddenly, today… a report he was in the hospital, then an hour later, the news. Sad. I guess I’m a bit selfish, but I haven’t been as aware of my own mortality since my army days.

Anyway, life goes on.

Today in History – February 26

1863 – U.S. President Abraham Lincoln signs the National Currency Act into law.

1936 – Hitler introduces Ferdinand Porsche’s “Volkswagen”

1952 – United Kingdom Prime Minister Winston Churchill announces that his nation has an atomic bomb.

1970
– National Public Radio incorporates as a non-profit corporation, assuring the Left of a free forum for its ideas.

1983
– Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” album goes to #1 & stays #1 for 37 weeks, proving the popularity of prancing fop pedophiles.

1993 – World Trade Center bombing: In New York City, a truck bomb parked below the North Tower of the World Trade Center explodes, killing 6 and injuring over a thousand, but it’s only a law enforcement matter.

Today in History – February 25

1836 – Samuel Colt receives an American patent for the Colt revolver.

1932 – Adolf Hitler obtains German citizenship by naturalization, which allows him to run in the 1932 election for Reichspräsident. Oh, so he had to play around with the citizenship thing to bring his socialist policies to bear?

1956
– In his speech On the Personality Cult and its Consequences Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev denounces the cult of personality of Joseph Stalin.

Explaining the Stimulus Bill

Shortly after class, an economics student approaches his economics professor and says, “I don’t understand this stimulus bill. Can you explain it to me?”

The professor replied, “I don’t have any time to explain it at my office, but if you come over to my house on Saturday and help me with my weekend project, I’ll be glad to explain it to you.”

The student agreed.

At the agreed-upon time, the student showed up at the professor’s house. The professor stated that the weekend project involved his backyard pool.

They both went out back to the pool, and the professor handed the student a bucket. Demonstrating with his own bucket, the professor said, “First, go over to the deep end, and fill your bucket with as much water as you can.”

The student did as he was instructed.

The professor then continued, “Follow me over to the shallow end, and then dump all the water from your bucket into it.”

The student was naturally confused, but did as he was told.

The professor then explained they were going to do this many more times, and began walking back to the deep end of the pool.

The confused student asked, “Excuse me, but why are we doing this?”

The professor matter-of-factly stated that he was trying to make the shallow end much deeper.

The student didn’t think the economics professor was serious, but figured that he would find out the real story soon enough. However, after the 6th trip between the shallow end and the deep end, the student began to become worried that his economics professor had gone mad.

The student finally replied, “All we’re doing is wasting valuable time and effort on unproductive pursuits. Even worse, when this process is all over, everything will be at the same level it was before, so all you’ll really have accomplished is the destruction of what could have been truly productive action!”

The professor put down his bucket and replied with a smile, “Congratulations. You now understand the stimulus bill.”

Profiting Under the Obama Administration

Apparently one way to make a small fortune under the tender ministrations of The One and his minions is to start with a large fortune.

The Dow dropped 250 points today, more than 3%, in a string of losses over the last few days. Yeah, I expect it to do an uptick as a lot of money moves around to take advantage of some real bargains, but there’s also a lot of money that seemingly bets that Obama hasn’t finished screwing things up yet.

Interesting times.

Today in History – February 23

1455 – Traditional date for the publication of the Gutenberg Bible, the first Western book printed from movable type. It was printed in Mainz, Germany. I spent three years there. It is a wonderful place.

1778 – Baron von Steuben joins Continental Army at Valley Forge. He’s generally accepted as the first drill instructor in US history.

1836 – The Battle of the Alamo begins in San Antonio, Texas.

1896 – Tootsie Roll introduced by Leo Hirshfield

1903 – Cuba leases Guantánamo Bay to the United States “in perpetuity”.

1945 – World War II: During the Battle of Iwo Jima, a group of United States Marines and a commonly forgotten U.S. Navy Corpsman, reach the top of Mount Suribachi on the island and are photographed raising the American flag. The photo would later win a Pulitzer Prize and become the model for the national USMC War Memorial.

1954 – The first mass inoculation of children against polio with the Salk vaccine began in Pittsburgh. Kids today don’t even KNOW about polio. It was a big fear in the ’50’s.

1995 – Dow Jones closes above 4,000 for 1st time (4,003.33)

Today in History – February 24

1803 – The Supreme Court of the United States, in Marbury v. Madison, establishes the principle of judicial review.

1868 – The first parade to have floats is staged at Mardi Gras in New Orleans, Louisiana. I have never been to Mardi Gras in New Orleans and have no desire to go. However, I do note that standing on the side of the road waiting for mystical creatures to give you stuff for free has particular character that fits New Orleans well.

1917 – World War I: The U.S. ambassador to the United Kingdom is given the Zimmermann Telegram, in which Germany pledges to ensure the return of New Mexico, Texas, and Arizona to Mexico if that country declares war on the United States. Seeing that Germany is happily pursuing attacks on the United States by means of a surrogate, Mexico, helps make us decide
to enter the war.

1968
– Vietnam War: The Tet Offensive is halted; South Vietnam recaptures Hué. You’d never know from news reports and conventional histories that EVERYWHERE the VC attacked, we (and the south Vietnamese) beat the ever-loving crap out of them.

2008
– Fidel Castro retires as the President of Cuba after nearly fifty years. He passed control to his brother, like he was a freakin’ Kennedy or something…

Another big week

Another week learning about those big engines.

James commented that they go “pocketa-pocketa” per Walter Mitty. I tend to think they sound more like “hickety-hickety” when they’re running good, but when they’re not, various farts, thumps bangs, thunderclaps, hiccups and of course, deafening silence may result.

We have instruments that can monitor the pressures, temperatures and vibrations of running engines so see what’s going on, and this cna be done for individual cylinders of the running engine. It’s pretty heady stuff, that is, unless you’re USED to equipment than can monitor a couple of dozen variables in factional millisecond increments. I’m used to it. Of course, once you get the impressive-looking traces on your screen, you have to be able to decipher them. I’m learning that for engines. I’m pretty good already on high voltage power systems.

Anyway, that’s the plan for the week. I may post more pictures if anyone is interested.