Weather is a little cooler than last week, with a low in the lower sixties last night and expected high in the lower eighties today. It was pleasant to walk out to retrieve the paper.
Wading through front page (!) stories about a local singer who’s doing well on “American Idol” I soaked up dribbles of new and opinion and finally landed on the birth announcements. This week we have thirty announcements from the one big hospital across the river. Eleven of those are to mommies who aren’t married and two are to mommies who don’t have a clue as to how this whole thing came about in the first place.
Let’s just jump right on in:
We can start out with a couple of future bricklayers as Calvin & Alisha D. do a son with Mason Isaiah and on the same day in the same hospital Chris & Tina L. bring out little Mason Joseph.
Dereck & Donetta(!) J. do a baby girl with Rylee Hivanna. So, your guess: did they mean “Havana” but wanted to spell it funny? They didn’t KNOW how to spell it? Or third , they don’t have a freakin’ CLUE that there’s a city of Havana and they just randomly strung together some syllables?
Jonathan L. & Latoya(!) R. tag a baby girl with Jalayah Monae’. The apostrophe is so that when their relatives read the name, they’ll know when to quit making letter noises.
Cody & Ashley C. name their son after somebody else, giving us Cayson Wayne.
Michael & Denise D. show a love of pro football quarterbacks and tag their son with Payton Drew.
Zachary & Chelsea M. do up a daughter with Shaleey Renea Do you think they meant “Renee” but they’re victims of an ineffective education system?
Wesley & Amy H. triple up on their new daughter, little Carrie-Helen Shea.
Peters & Courtney F. name their son after somebody else, presenting little Jackson Kole, because “K” confers an air of intelligence and sophistication that a common old “C” misses.
Keeping the idea of “My son needs to be names after somebody else”, Jordan & Chelsey M. do it with a Scandinavian twist, tagging their son with Jansen Scott.
And then Brett & Hailee(!) F. to a pair of twins, naming the daughter Kennedy Grace after a clan of Massachusetts criminals and the son Carson Michael after Lord only knows who.
Whoever this “Car” was, he impressed a pretty good segment of the population because Douglas & Courtney H. did their daughter with Carsyn Claire.
Miss Kareka(!) N. drops an apostrophe in her son’s name to make up for the big blank space ont he birth registration where it asks for a father’s name, and we get little Ja’Khory Lee.
David & Mary W. know that most forms have a space for first name – middle name- last name, but they had a LOT of people to make happy and only one little girl to do ti with, so she’s RhiannaJayde Olliemay.
Brad ‘n’ Brandie N. just picked a random word and used it to name their son, little Brooks James.
And that’s the end of the list for this week.