Monthly Archives: March 2015
Today in History – March 31
627 AD – Battle of the Trench: Muhammad undergoes a 14-day siege at Medina (Saudi Arabia) by Meccan forces under Abu Sufyan. After his opposition breaks apart , MUhammad chases down the losers, gathers all the men, 700-900 of them, and beheads them. Women and children are taken into slavery, just like today.
1774 – American Revolutionary War: The Kingdom of Great Britain orders the port of Boston, Massachusetts closed in the Boston Port Act. That whole “Tea Party” thing really upset them. The original Tea Party folks didn’t dump their own tea in the harbor… We’re just not mad enough YET! Boil, froggy, boil!
1854 – Commodore Matthew Perry signs the Treaty of Kanagawa with the Japanese government, opening the ports of Shimoda and Hakodate to American trade. Nothing like armed naval vessels showing up on your doorstep with superior firepower to get the ol’ diplomacy going. Of course, those fops Obama and Kerry haven’t learned that lesson.
1889 – The Eiffel Tower is inaugurated. Built to commemorate the French national bloodbath Revolution, it is very French in that it is eminently elegant and does absolutely nothing except give the Germans something photogenic to march under…
1906 – The Intercollegiate Athletic Association of the United States (later National Collegiate Athletic Association – NCAA) is established to set rules for amateur sports in the United States. Yeah. They’re amateurs like I’m Prince Consort to the Tsarina Katherine of All the Russias.
1918 – Daylight saving time goes into effect in the United States for the first time.
1933 – The Civilian Conservation Corps is established with the mission to relieve rampant unemployment. Federal dollars paid men to work. Families got money. The country got completed work. It wouldn’t work today because back then, people actually wanted to work. Today it’d just upset the dimmocrats’ biggest voting bloc. it’s easier to just pay ‘em to stay home except on election day.
1992 – An era ends as the USS Missouri (BB-63), the last active United States Navy Battleship, is decommissioned in Long Beach, California.
Food for Thought -30 March 2014
Some thoughts about life
One of the things about being semi-confined to the house is that I get to ponder a lot about life. Here’s some thoughts that may help you out:
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me for the path is narrow. In fact, just leave me the Hell alone.
2. Sex is like air. It’s not that important unless you aren’t getting any.
3. No one is listening until you fart.
4. Always remember you’re unique. Just like everyone else.
5. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
6. If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of payments.
7. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
8. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
9. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
10. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
11. If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
12. Some days you are the dog, some days you are the tree.
13. Don’t worry, it only seems kinky the first time.
14. Good judgment comes from bad experience … and most of that comes from bad judgment.
15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
16. There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.
17. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.
18. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
19. We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our ass … then things just keep getting worse.
20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
Today in History – March 30
1814 – Britain & allies march into Paris after defeating Napoleon. this event marks the beginning of Parisian status as the five dollar whore of Europe. How many foreign armies have paraded through Paris? the ONLY way tht fop de Gaulle was able to march ‘victoriously’ into Paris in 1944 was that the path was paved in the blood of America and the British Commonwealth.
1842 – Anesthesia is used for the first time in an operation by Dr. Crawford Long. He uses ether. Ether this or it’s gonna hurt like h**l.
1858 – Hymen Lipman patents a pencil with an attached eraser.
1867 – Alaska is purchased for $7.2 million, about 2 cents/acre ($4.19/km²), by United States Secretary of State William H. Seward. The news media call this Seward’s Folly. The news media is always right, you know…
1870 – Texas becomes last Confederate state readmitted to Union. Lately they’re asking about a do-over on that. If they do, I’m gonna get me a big hat and haul my Cajun butt over there.
1932 – Amelia Earhart is first woman to fly solo cross the Atlantic, spends first half of trip with left blinker on, applying mascara.
1951 – Remington Rand delivers the first UNIVAC I computer to the United States Census Bureau. 5,200 vacuum tubes, weighed 29,000 pounds (13 metric tons), consumed 125 kW in electricity.
1981 – President Ronald Reagan is shot in the chest outside a Washington, D.C., hotel by John Hinckley, Jr., who is trying to impress Jodie Foster. Contrary to rumor, I did NOT send Hinckley an letter telling him that Obama was banging Jodie Foster like a screen door in a tornado.
1991 – William Kennedy Smith allegedly rapes a woman, in keeping with his family’s high tradition. Also in keeping with his family’s high tradition, he’s found “not guilty”
Food for Thought – 29 March 2015
The Name Game #395
Seventy-two degrees at 0800 this morning, heading for the upper seventies today. Under hazy skies I walked out to pick up the paper. The local government is proud to have passed themselves a little law enforcement tax in yesterday’s election. Oh yeah, it was the ONLY item on the ballot. They got an 8% voter turnout and the tax passed 80-20, the eighty being just about the number of people who will benefit from the money collected.
On to the names. There were fifty new babies announced in the paper, all from the big hospital across the river. Of fifty, thirty, that’s sixty percent, are to unmarried parents and ten percent, that’s five are to mommies still wondering who hit ’em.
Let’s proceed.
Miss Jasmine B. doesn’t have to waste time talking to the missing daddy so she gets to be creative. Her very own baby doll daughter gets named Jaylianis Nicole.
Ramone H. & Kyeria(!) T. pick euphonious syllables and assemble them into a name for their baby girl, Nyla Ranae.
Randy & Tamika(!) R-B apostophicate a baby girl to go with their hyphenated fake marriage, so we meet little A’Randy Joy. See what they did there? Clever folk!
Another apostrophe shows up as Marquias(!) B. & Chante'(!) D. do a daughter, Aaliyah Challe’.
Tyler B. & Jaide(!) L. do a daughter, Embri Kate.
Let’s squeeze in a couple of kids whose parents are impressed by motorcycles: Reco(!) P. & Laura T. tag a son with Harley Jayce and Ryan D. & Constance D. (different surnames) do a daughter with Harlee Danay, the ‘ee’ apparently being the feminine version of ‘Harley’.
Wade D. & Melissa S. give their son an industrial name, Gauge Everett.
Miss Brianna G. shows her son, Kayson Deshon.
MIchael II & Amber C. do a daughter with Faelynn LeAnn, throwing in an extra capital letter to show that they’re people of quality.
Joshua H. & Krystal L. do a daughter with Malon Moon. M-O-O-N spells ‘sophisticated’.
Daniel Jr. & Katrina (too old for the hurricane) W. do a son with Daxson King.
Donald Jr. & Misty S. give their daughter her very first stripper name, Scarlett Reign.
A triple shows up as Kendall & Mallory C. show us their son, little Beckham King Richard.
George W. & Allison B. show a daughter, Avenly Mae.
Matthew & Nicole B. avoid the dreaded ‘cks’ with their son Jaxson Tyler.
Albert J. & Moneka(!) D. do a daughter, Zhliah Alise, destined to go through life answering ‘How do you pronounce your name?”
Miss Sarah H. gives her daughter an angle on future clientele, tagging her with Saylor Layne.
Blake B. & Taylor G. place their hope in herbs, tagging their daughter with Sage Hope.
And that’s good enough for a week don’t you think?
Today in History – March 29
1806 – Construction is authorized of the Great National Pike, better known as the Cumberland Road, becoming the first United States federal highway.
1879 – Anglo-Zulu War: Battle of Kambula: 2,200 British forces defeat 20,000 Zulus. Discipline, rifles and six cannon prove to be more than guts and spears and handful of captured rifles can overcome. The Zulus have just lost the war, like there was ever a doubt.
1911 – The M1911 .45 ACP pistol became the official U.S. Army side arm. I carried an M1911A1. Still own one, a brilliant design of the sainted John M. Browning.
1936 – In Germany, Adolf Hitler receives 99% of the votes in a referendum to ratify Germany’s illegal reoccupation of the Rhineland, receiving 44.5 million votes out of 45.5 million registered voters. Just because it receives a majority vote doesn’t make it right. That’s why we (used to) have the Constitution.
1971 – A Los Angeles, California jury recommends the death penalty for Charles Manson and three female followers. And he’s STILL alive, but his victims are still DEAD.. Our enlightened overlords call this “justice”.
1973 – Vietnam War: The last United States combat soldiers leave South Vietnam.
Food for Thought – 28 March 2015
Blame it on radical Methodists
A little graphic to tell you something you already know – terrorist events broken down by ideology:
You need some culture in your life
And I’m not talking about the one the lab’s doing because you have that colorful discharge.
You can download four hundred twenty two FREE books from the Metropolitan Museum of Art. That’s free… as in you can get some of the foundational art of civilization before Obama gives the place away and it is bulldozed by ISIS.
(Hat tip to Marginal Revolution)
Saturday Song #177
How about one from that stack of 45’s my older sister (of sainted memory) had when I was a kid. Here’s Neil Sedaka’s Happy Birthday Sweet Sixteen.
Today in History – March 28
37 AD – Roman Emperor Caligula accepts the titles of the Principate, entitled to him by the Senate. The Left is contemplating this as we speak. Then they can quit worrying about those pesky elections.
193 AD – Roman Emperor Pertinax is assassinated by Praetorian Guards, who then sell the throne in an auction. Secret Service? Hey guys, I have a twenty in my back pocket if the opportunity avails itself. Wait! Gimme a bit… I can take up a collection!
845 AD – Paris is sacked by Viking raiders, probably under Ragnar Lodbrok, who collects a huge ransom in exchange for leaving. In 1944, the US and its allies paid the price to get the Germans out so that prancing fop deGaulle could waltz in after the Americans, Brits and Canadians had cleared the way for him.
1871 – The Paris Commune is formally established in Paris. In the aftermath of ANY national disaster, you can depend on the communists to try to take over. the commune ends when the French Army intervenes. As i usually the case since Napoleon (who wasn’t French, he was Corsican), the French Army is most victorious against the French.
1933 – German Reichstag confers dictatorial powers on Hitler. History. Learn from it.
1979 – In Pennsylvania, a pump in the reactor cooling system fails in the Three Mile Island accident, resulting in the crapping of many pairs of pants. Zero, that’s ZERO!, deaths.
1994 – In South Africa, Zulus and African National Congress supporters battle in central Johannesburg, resulting in 18 deaths. You’ll see more of this as South Africa follows Zimbabwe’s path. In Africa, espite what We want to think, tribe trumps ‘nation’ at any time. The ‘nations’ were laid out by the colonial powers and are only couple hundred years old. Tribes go back much further.
food for Thought – 27 March 2015
