1844 – A gun on USS Princeton explodes while the boat is on a Potomac River cruise, killing eight people, including two United States Cabinet members. Obama’s cabinet was more likely at risk from carbon monoxide poisoning from a badly tuned gasoline-powered sex toy.

1849 – Regular steamboat service from the west to the east coast of the United States begins with the arrival of the SS California in San Francisco Bay, 4 months 21 days after leaving New York Harbor. Due to the Panama Canal being some distance in the future, this trip goes all the way around the Horn.

1933 – Gleichschaltung: The Reichstag Fire Decree is passed in Germany a day after the Reichstag fire. Generate a crisis, then use it to pass laws that shut down your opponents. Worked then.

1935 – DuPont scientist Wallace Carothers invents nylon. Billions of silkworms breathe a sigh of relief.

1942 – In the dark opening days of American participation in World War II, the heavy cruiser USS Houston is sunk in the Battle of Sunda Strait with 693 crew members killed, along with HMAS Perth which lost 375 men.

1954 – The first color television sets using the NTSC (Never Twice the Same Color) standard are offered for sale to the general public, for a mere $1,295, or $11,200 in today’s dollars.

1956 – Forrester issued a patent for computer core memory. And why did they call it ‘core’ memory? Because the data was stored as the magnetic state of tiny little ferrite donut ‘cores’, written and accessed by tiny little copper wires. Interesting stuff, that.

1993 – Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms agents raid the Branch Davidian church in Waco, Texas with a warrant to arrest the group’s leader David Koresh. Four BATF agents and five Davidians die in the initial raid, starting a 51-day standoff. Is your church approved by the BATFE?

1776 – American Revolutionary War: the Battle of Moore’s Creek Bridge in North Carolina breaks up a Loyalist militia. You have to understand that there are a lot of people who will fight to keep the status quo.

1801 – Pursuant to the District of Columbia Organic Act of 1801, Washington, D.C. is placed under the jurisdiction of the U.S. Congress. From that bright hope, we come to today’s “wretched hive of scum and villainy.”

1844 – The Dominican Republic gains independence from Haiti. This is a brilliant move. Like “night” separating from “day”.

1864 – American Civil War: The first Northern prisoners arrive at the Confederate prison at Andersonville, Georgia.

1933 – Reichstag fire: Germany’s parliament building in Berlin, the Reichstag, is set on fire. I halfway expect something of similar nature here before long. Cynical? Who, me?

1951 – The Twenty-second Amendment to the United States Constitution, limiting Presidents to two terms, is ratified. If only it included Congress.

1986 – The United States Senate allows its debates to be televised on a trial basis, with unexpected consequences. Today the most dangerous place in Washington is between Chuck Schumer and a TV camera. Your viewing pleasure will be enhanced if you play “Yakety Sax’ as an accompaniment.

1848 – The Second French Republic is proclaimed. The first one started with a bloodbath, went on to a dictatorship and finished as a monarchy. This one lasts until the French are again deluded by the name ‘Napoleon’, this one being Napoleon III and declare the Second Empire. The Germans realign their thinking in 1870.

1863 – U.S. President Abraham Lincoln signs the National Currency Act into law. This put us solidly on the road to a paper currency backed by the whim of banks.

1917 – The Original Dixieland Jass Band records the first ever jazz record for the Victor Talking Machine Company in New York. “Victrola” used to be almost synonymous with “record player”.

1935 – Adolf Hitler orders the Luftwaffe to be re-formed, violating the provisions of the Treaty of Versailles. Imagine that! A dictator with plans for increased domination ignores international treaty. I’m SOOOO glad that doesn’t happen today, because the Clintons fixed us up with North Korea and Obama secured our future with Iran.

1936 – Hitler introduces Ferdinand Porsche’s “Volkswagen”, the precursor to the the VW Type 111, or “Beetle”, a particularly delightful car. I owned several.

1952 – United Kingdom Prime Minister Winston Churchill announces that his nation has an atomic bomb.

1960 – A New York bound Alitalia airliner crashed into a cemetery at Shannon, Ireland, shortly after takeoff, killing 34 of the 52 persons on board. Irish rescue crews recover 347 bodies.

1970 – National Public Radio incorporates as a non-profit corporation, assuring the Left of a free forum for its ideas.

1983 – Michael Jackson’s “Thriller” album goes to #1 &stays #1 for 37 weeks, proving the popularity of prancing fop pedophiles.

1993 – World Trade Center bombing: In New York City, a truck bomb parked below the North Tower of the World Trade Center explodes, killing 6 and injuring over a thousand, but it’s only a law enforcement matter.

1836 – Samuel Colt receives an American patent for the Colt revolver.

1870 – Hiram Rhodes Revels, a Republican from Mississippi, is sworn into the United States Senate, becoming the first African American ever to sit in the U.S. Congress.

1919 – Oregon places a 1 cent per U.S. gallon tax on gasoline, becoming the first U.S. state to levy a gasoline tax. This is known as the camel’s nose under the tent…

1932 – Adolf Hitler obtains German citizenship by naturalization, which allows him to run in the 1932 election for Reichspräsident. See what happens when you work around that birth certificate thing?

1933 – The USS Ranger is launched. It is the first US Navy ship to be built solely as an aircraft carrier. Her first combat action is against the French in North Africa.

1954 – Gamal Abdel Nasser is made premier of Egypt, after having Israel kick his butt in 1948. He tries two rematches, 1956 and 1967, loses those, too.

1956 – In his speech On the Personality Cult and its Consequences Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev denounces the cult of personality of Joseph Stalin. What!??! There are consequences to a personality cult?

1964 – Speaking of personality cults, North Korean Prime Minister Kim Il-sung calls for the removal of feudalistic land ownership aimed at turning all cooperative farms into state-run ones. This single brilliant move turns North Korea into a cornucopia of riches. South Koreans line up at the DMZ, clamoring to get in. Right?!?

1991 – The Warsaw Pact is declared disbanded. After all those years of me and a million other American soldiers waiting for them to come streaming through the Fulda Gap…

1803 – The Supreme Court of the United States, in Marbury v. Madison, establishes the principle of judicial review.

1868 – The first parade to have floats is staged at Mardi Gras in New Orleans, Louisiana. I have never been to Mardi Gras in New Orleans and have no desire to go. However, I do note that standing on the side of the road waiting for mystical creatures to give you stuff for free has a particular character that fits New Orleans well.

1917 – World War I: The U.S. ambassador to the United Kingdom is given the Zimmermann Telegram, in which Germany pledges to ensure the return of New Mexico, Texas, and Arizona to Mexico if that country declares war on the United States. Seeing that Germany is happily pursuing attacks on the United States by means of a surrogate, Mexico, helps make us decide to enter the war.

1976 – Cuba: national Constitution is proclaimed. Article I: Fidel is always right. Article II: If Fidel is wrong, refer to Article I.

1968 – Vietnam War: The Tet Offensive is halted; South Vietnam recaptures Hué. You’d never know from news reports and conventional histories that EVERYWHERE the VC attacked, we (and the South Vietnamese) beat the ever-loving crap out of them.

1983 – In a spirited burst of 20/20 hindsight, a special commission of the United States Congress condemns the Japanese American internment during World War II.

1989 – Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini offers a US$3 million bounty for the death of The Satanic Verses author Salman Rushdie. And Mr. Khomeini is a member of WHAT religion? Radical baptist?

2008 – Fidel Castro retires as the President of Cuba after nearly fifty years. He passed control to his brother, like he was a freakin’ Kennedy or Clinton or something…

1455 – Traditional date for the publication of the Gutenberg Bible, the first Western book printed from movable type. Printed in Mainz, Germany, where I was stationed 1974-77. They have the Gutenberg Museum, with an original Gutenberg bible as one of many interesting displays. I spent three great years in Mainz.

1778 – American Revolution: Baron von Steuben arrives at Valley Forge, Pennsylvania to help to train the Continental Army. This is regarded as the birth of the drill sergeant.

1836 – The Battle of the Alamo begins in San Antonio, Texas. Sometimes you have to fight, knowing that you might lose…

1847 – Mexican-American War: Battle of Buena Vista – In Mexico, American troops under General Zachary Taylor defeat Mexican General Antonio López de Santa Anna. If we’d have hanged him after we captured him following the Battle of San Jacinto, we could have saved a lot of trouble. The guy was a psychotic, murderous thug.

1903 – Cuba leases Guantánamo Bay to the United States “in perpetuity”. I’m surprised that obama didn’t give it back.

1945 – World War II: During the Battle of Iwo Jima, a group of United States Marines and a commonly forgotten U.S. Navy Corpsman, reach the top of Mount Suribachi on the island and are photographed raising the American flag.

1945 – World War II: Capitulation of German garrison in Pozna. The city is ‘liberated’ by Soviet and Polish forces, where ‘liberated’ means rule by ONE murderous dictatorial regime is replaced by rule by another murderous dictatorial regime for the next forty-odd years.

1954 – The first mass inoculation of children against polio with the Salk vaccine begins in Pittsburgh. Polio was the big “scare” disease when I was a kid. You seldom hear of it today. Two years later me and my brother and sisters stood in LINE to get the vaccine. Polio was the big scare when I was a kid. Now you never hear of it. But vaccines’re bad, huh?