Daily Archives: 7/16/2017
The Name Game #485
Seventy-five degrees at 0805 this morning when I rolled out of bed. We won’t break ninety today, but humidity right now’s at saturation level – 98%.
I perused the paper over a bowl of cereal this morning, finding that they report births from both local hospitals this week, a total of fifty-seven new babies, forty of whom are brought forth to unwed parents and among that crowd nine new mommies don’t even see a reason to report a baby daddy. This does not bode well for the future.
Let’s slog forth into the morass:
First punctuation shows up when Monique G. & Anthony F. present their little girl Lili’yana Belle.
Kaytlyn(! – lots of ‘y’s’) A. & Ishmael M. give their son a trade name but change it up to show that they’re on the cutting edge of society, giving us little Maison James.
Haley B. & Romie D. watch a bit too much TV, so their daughter starts out as Buffy Renee.
Makenzie & Chase H. tag a DAUGHTER with Hunter Jayde, so she can cross over into a manly trade or take the center pole with her own stripper name.
Jasmine W. & Jessie W. Jr. tag a little girl with Jaelah Antoinette. I don’t think it’s a good idea to give a kid a name that sounds like ‘jail’.
Miss Barbara B. does her daughter up with Janiyah Lynn. Babyy daddy? Nope.
Another apostrophe shows up as Jeremiah J. & Jasmine W. confer a sense of sophistication upon their son Ja’Khorian.
Etienne & Betsy S. triple up on their daughter Sabine Marie-Louise.
Brandon B. & Rashawn(!) J. do a daughter with Maria Nevaeh, which, as you ssabmuds know, is “Heaven spelled backwards”.
Miss Deona D. couldn’t reliably identify a baby daddy so she gives her daughter her very own apostrophe instead, and we meet little Sky’lar Monae.
As college football season nears, Zachary & Sarah P. tag their son with Baylor Wayne. Good thing they’re not basketball fans or we could be meeting little Gonzaga.
One dayy at the big hospital, Ricky S. & Skyla R. have a little girl whom they name Riley Elizabeth. Same day, same hospital Robert W. Jr. & his squeeze Tierra(!) M. see that and say “y’all stand back an’ let us show you how to confer upon your daughter a life of sophistication. Their little girl is Rhy’Lei Le’Asia and I’m betting thee parents couldn’t locate ‘Asia’ on a map in three tries.
Devin W. & Autumn G. triple out on their son Ryland James-Taylor.
Miss Abigail V. tags her boy with Geru. No baby daddy given.
Javares(!) A. & Kiara(!) A. give us twins, girl Krisalynn A’lexis and boy Kingston Tremaine.
Deon(!) P. & Kristen V. perpetuate a travesty by tagging a little boy with Deon Gordon Selkuk Jr.
Miss Hillary M. does her daughter with Remi Khol. Missing baby daddy? Check! Hillary’s ‘village’ will raise this one, peeling money out of MY paycheck.
And that’s the list this week. Be careful out there.
Today in History – July 16
1661 – The first banknotes in Europe are issued by the Swedish bank Stockholms Banco. The power to print money is easy. Backing it to give it value is not so easy.
1790 – Mos Eisley The District of Columbia is established as the capital of the United States after signature of the Residence Act. “You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.”
1861 – The largest field army yet assembled on the North American continent departs Washington, DC on the way to Manassas to put a whuppin’ on those uppity rebels. The result in a few days was known in the south as the First Battle of Manassas, and in the North as the First Battle of Bull Run. With an emphasis on “RUN”.
1918 – Czar Nicholas II, his family, the family doctor, their servants and their pet dog are shot by the Bolsheviks, who had held them captive for 2 months in the basement of a house in Ekaterinberg, Russia. Just breaking a few eggs to make that omelet, right?
1935 – The world’s first parking meter is installed in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
1942 – Holocaust: Rafle du Vel’d’Hiv: the Vichy France government orders French police officers to round up 13,000-20,000 Jews and imprison them in the Winter Velodrome as France has moved its wartime status from “Surrender” to “Collaborate”.
1945 – Manhattan Project: The Atomic Age begins when the United States successfully detonates a plutonium-based test nuclear weapon at the Trinity site near Alamogordo, New Mexico. “Oh, lookee! New toy!” On the same day the USS Indianapolis departs San Francisco with “Little Boy”, the bomb intended for Hiroshima.
1957 – United States Marine Major John Glenn flies a F8U Crusader supersonic jet from California to New York in 3 hours, 23 minutes and 8 seconds setting a new transcontinental speed record.
1960 – USS George Washington a modified Skipjack class submarine successfully test fires the first ballistic missile while submerged. Kremlin’s laundry bill takes an unexpected spike.
1969 – Apollo program: Apollo 11, the first manned space mission to land on the moon is launched from the Kennedy Space Center at Cape Canaveral, Florida.
1979 – Iraqi President Hasan al-Bakr resigns and is replaced by Saddam Hussein. Guess what it took to un-elect Saddam Hussein.
1983 – Sikorsky S-61 disaster: a helicopter crashes off the Isles of Scilly, causing 20 fatalities. Riding helicopters to offshore facilities is a regular part of my job. Hundreds of helicopters fly out over the Gulf every day.
1999 – John F. Kennedy, Jr., his wife Carolyn, and sister-in-law Lauren are killed in a plane crash on the Atlantic Ocean off the coast of Martha’s Vineyard. The Piper Saratoga aircraft was piloted by Kennedy. Being a Kennedy and all that means a whole lot of laws don’t apply to you. Sadly the laws of physics aren’t among them.