Daily Archives: 5/6/2018
The Name Game #510
Sixty-two degrees this beautiful morning, heading for the upper eighties this afternoon. It’s May and it’s time for things to start getting miserable.
I rolled past the front page with its news that our Chennault Airport’s 11,000 foot runway’s getting a rework. It’s older than I am, and I am scheduled for a rework as well.
Turning to the birth announcements – it’s the big hospital across the river with fifty-nine new babies. Over half are to unwed parents and eight new mommies don’t see fit to name a daddy.
Let’s just get to it, shall we?
Curtis & Julianna K. do a baby girl and sidestep that ‘You named your daughter ‘-son’?!?’ thing by naming her Karsyn Paige.
Miss Telecia(!) C. does a son with Dayton Jace.
Russell t. Y Meagan M. tag a daughter with Bexley Elise. Bexley?!? I guess that picking any random syllable and tagging an ‘ee’ to is makes a valid name now.
Robert W. III & Cherrelle(!) B. apostrophicate their son Khi’Lo. That’s what you get from a middle school education and too many views of Star Wars.
Devon & Allanas H. celebrate their knowledge of geography by naming their daughter Brooklynn Grace.
Daylin R. & Shayla(!) C-R apostrophicate their daughter, little Daylin Ja’elle.
Another apostrophe finds a forever home as Miss Elizabeth L. does her daughter up with Adilyne De’nae.
Austin G. & Mary H. triple out on their son Victor Eugene James.
Keith & Laura B. tag their daughter with Audi Elizabeth. Her baby brother’s gonna be ‘Uni-Mog’.
Another triple as Kyle E. & Lynette E. show us their son Zain Alexander James.
Corey S. & Jody B. do a daughter with Story Noelle.
Joseph A. & Shania P. double apostrophicate their son Ay’den D’shawn.
And another apostrophe bites teh dust as Cherokee(!) F. Sr. & Ramonica J. do a daughter with Car’myn Javiah. And not that de daddy gots a ‘Sr.’ so he’s spreading illegitimate jow elsewhere for the benefit of civilization.
Alex & Lauren P. give their son one of those manly single syllable names, Jace Michael, because if they’d named him ‘Jason’ his nickname might’ve been ‘Booger’ or something.
Casey & Gennifer B. show us teh tryndeigh by tagging their daughter with Ryeleigh Claire, because ‘Riley’ is just soooo ordinary, yahknow…
Matthew Jr. & Jennifer T. triple up on their daughter Elodie Elizabeth Ann.
Miss Megan D. does a son with Mylan King. He Be ROYALTY ‘N’ SHIT!
Miss Amanda G. triples out on her daughter Anna Marie-Faye.
Justin & Christina B. show us their love of native Americans by naming their daughter Cheyenne Dakota. Gonna be a baby brother, ‘Pottawattamie’
Miss Christie S. tags her son Jagger Paul, pay homage to rockers on the downhill slide.
K’Adrian(!!) D. and (Hang on! this is gonna be rough!) Bryaschomyn(!!!) W. triple out on their son Kadrian Easton Charles. After ‘Bryaschomyn’, everything is downhill from there.
Xzavier (!!) J. & Ramona T. do their son up as Xylen Christian Romone.
Tronoski(!) T. & Ciara(!) S. do a son with Tatum Terrez.
Miss Tamika(!) C. shows her son A’Marion Jamal. The apostrophe makes up for the disappearing daddy.
Dalton M. & Kaitlyn H. present their son Xander Lee.
And that’s gotta hold you until next week.
Today in History – May 6
1536 – King Henry VIII orders English language Bibles be placed in every church. Previously, the bible was only commonly available in Latin, making its readability rather lower, although Latin remained a language in common use in academia and the Catholic Church.
1863 – American Civil War: The Battle of Chancellorsville ends with the defeat of the Army of the Potomac by Confederate troops. A battle won in a war lost. General Lee loses General Stonewall Jackson to friendly fire. Lee likens this to losing his right arm.
1877 – Chief Crazy Horse of the Oglala Sioux surrenders to United States troops in Nebraska. He’s a veteran of Little Big Horn and many other battles in another war lost.
1889 – The Eiffel Tower is officially opened to the public at the Universal Exposition in Paris. Like much that is French, it is stunningly graceful, a technological tour de force, and as useless as nipples on a lizard. But it gives a photogenic background for the German Army on occasion.
1935 – New Deal: Executive Order 7034 creates the Works Progress Administration. Another dimmocrat president ruling by executive order. The difference between this give-away and Obama’s, though, is that beneficiaries of THIS program were expected to, you know, WORK! Now all they have to do is procreate and vote.
1937 – Hindenburg disaster: The German zeppelin Hindenburg catches fire and is destroyed within a minute while attempting to dock at Lakehurst, New Jersey. Thirty-six people are killed. Airships end their brief foray into public transport.
1941 – At California’s March Field, Bob Hope performs his first USO show. How absolutely quaint! Hollywood actually being patriotic!
1954 – Roger Bannister becomes the first person to run the mile in under four minutes.
1960 – More than 20 million viewers watch the first televised royal wedding when Princess Margaret marries Anthony Armstrong-Jones at Westminster Abbey. This becomes THE standard format for every spoiled American princess. All too often Daddy is still paying off the spectacular wedding when his little princess is divorced and three drug-addled bikers down the road in her love life.
1994 – Queen Elizabeth II of the United Kingdom and French President François Mitterrand officiate at the opening of the Channel Tunnel. I would say something snarky about this facilitating Britain rushing to rescue France the next time the Germans have a desire for postcards of their army marching under the Eiffel Tower, but it looks like a footrace to see which country goes Muslim first, and they’re neck and neck.