Barely made eighty by eight AM this Sunday. A late afternoon thunderstorm yesterday was welcomed by the vegetation but to us who have to live in this heat, the added humidity ads insult to injury.
Opened the paper over a breakfast of raisin bran, got to the birth announcements and found that the big hospital across the river reports thirty-six new babies from between July 13 and July 23. Of those, sixteen are to unwed parents, and in one of those little statistical anomalies, we had no daddyless babies this week.
Let’s see what the list looks like:
Kyle B. & Abby H. get innovative and triple up on a daughter, little Idhalia Rose-Marie.
Esteban H. & Yara C. do a son as Greyson Allan. Whose son?
Demetrius(!) G. &Tamaro’z W. perpetuate the travesties by tagging a son with Demetrius John.
First punctuation shows up as Blade(!) & Chelsea H. do their daughter with Liv Jolie’.
Ramron(!) G. & Alexis W. get all botanic on their daughter Aspen Primrose.
Erick & Cassie R. give their son a career pat, tagging him with Sawyer Gordan.
Fraidy(!) Jr. & Mariah L. do a daughter with a random wor, giving us little Harmony Jean, to be followed by bratty little brother Discordant.
Joshua & Kelsey L. get innovative with their daughter Maddyn Kate, changing the spelling because they didn’t want to pay TOO much homage to daddy’s favorite video game.
Mister (!) C. & Beatrice W. do a daughter with Maliah Breisis.
Anthony & Carrie A.grab a daughter’s name from the perfume counter at the mall, giving us little Armani Rose.
Joshua & Lauren C. did the same thing, except sporting goods, showing us little Remington Todd. I’m just glad he ain’t named ‘Hi-Point’.
Je’Tycen(!!) & Andriel(!) M. tag a daughter with Camilla Joy. Baby’s name is kind of ‘meh’ but I couldn’t pass up ‘Je’Tycen’.
Another apostrophe finds a forever home as Alexander H. & Jamacia(!) G. name thier daughter Sade’ Ayanna. The apostrophe instructs the cognoscenti among their friends and relatives that her name does not rhyme with ‘payed’.
Rance M. & Shavey(!) F. get all exotic on their son, little Xayn Ahmad Tamir.
Nathaniel & Daniela S. apostrophicate their son Ha’keem Nehemiah.
And that’s the list for this hot July day. Have a good week.