1138 – A massive earthquake strikes Aleppo, Syria, much the same effect as an Obama/Clinton foreign policy.

1767 – Surveying for the Mason–Dixon Line separating Maryland from Pennsylvania is completed. I bet you thought it was further south, huh?

1910 – Ex-president Theodore Roosevelt becomes the first U.S. president to fly in an airplane. He flew for four minutes with Arch Hoxsey in a plane built by the Wright Brothers at Kinloch Field (Lambert-St. Louis International Airport), St. Louis, Missouri.

1954 – First Indochina War: The Viet Minh take control of North Vietnam. The French had tried to re-establish their colony in southeast Asia after the Japanese surrender, and they dropped the ball faster’n an eighth-grade basketball team.

1968 – Apollo program: NASA launches Apollo 7, the first successful manned Apollo mission, with astronauts Wally Schirra, Donn F. Eisele and Walter Cunningham aboard. Less than a year later, there are American footprints on the moon.

1975 – Bill Clinton weds Hillary Rodham. Q: What do you get when you cross a crooked politician with a crooked lawyer? A: Chelsea Clinton (Although Chelsea looks WAAAAY yoo much like Webb Hubbell). The second joke that happened on this date was the premiere of Saturday Night Live with George Carlin as host.

1984 – Aboard the Space Shuttle Challenger, astronaut Kathryn D. Sullivan becomes the first American woman to perform a space walk. She has to go back because she forgot her purse. The flight is completed with her seatbelt hanging out of the closed door.

1987 – First public display of AIDS Memorial Quilt on the National Mall in Washington, D.C., during the Second National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights. You probably don’t want to look at it under a UV light.

2013 – A migrant invader boat sinks in the Channel of Sicily with at least 34 people dead.