Daily Archives: 9/2/2023

The Name Game

The Name Game – Arrest Reports

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Breanna Melissa Tyzha H. – Theft less than $1,000; theft from $1,000 but less than $5,000; exploitation of the infirmed; forgery; direct contempt of court; possession of CDS Schedule II.

Tramakker Renee F. – Monetary instrument abuse.

Kashife Delvon J. – Out-of-state detainer; produce, manufacture, distribute or possess with intent Schedule II drug.

Elbert Deshuntate M. – Produce, manufacture, distribute or possess with intent Schedule II drug.

Shanikka Shante L. – Contempt of court (2 charges); theft under $1,000; sale, distribution, or possession of a legend drug; resisting an officer.

Danthony Rashad G. – Contempt of court (5 charges); third offense DWI; operating a vehicle while under suspension; careless operation; battery; telephone harassment; entry on or remaining in places after being forbidden; resisting an officer by flight; resisting an officer by refusal to I.D. (Probably missing a very significant apostrophe in that first name.  The arrest report doesn’t include punctuation.)

Melchezideck Jerome S. Jr. – Resisting an officer; burglary (2 charges); theft of a firearm; property damage under $50,000; burglary; theft under $5,000; theft of a motor vehicle under $25,000.

Janaisha RoshandaLanae M. – Robbery; possession of marijuana.

Sherice Denine R. – Theft under $5,000; probation violation.

Elijah Theodore Malik T. – Resisting an officer; production, manufacture, distribution, or possession of a Schedule I drug.

Lashawnda Rochelle B. – Possession of marijuana; possession of a Schedule I drug; improper entering of an intersection.

Daqwon Lee C. – Terrorizing; entry on or remaining on places after being forbidden; resisting an officer.

Keeshala Demetra J. – Theft of a motor vehicle under $5,000.

Johnkel Myleak B. – Resisting an officer by flight; possession of marijuana; possession of a firearm by a person previously convicted of a felony; revocation of parole.

Tyrone Devonte S. – Possession of a Schedule II drug; contempt of court.

Kydarria Nachelle W. – Domestic abuse.

Diondra Lashon J. – Three counts of contempt of court; theft less than $1,000; aggravated second-degree battery.

Jamarki Jermaine B.  – Burglary; theft of a firearm.

Bryaschomyn Nicole W. – Domestic abuse.

Shydun Ershawn J. – Attempted theft under $1,000; theft under $25,000; identity theft.

Monasha Joy E. – Theft under $5,000.

Jamarki Jermaine B. – Burglary; theft of a firearm.

Kawliger Lee C. – Simple burglary; simple criminal damage to property less than $1,000; possession of a Schedule II drug; drug paraphernalia.

Kaylon Jamar D. – Tail lamps illuminating the rear license plate; possession of a Schedule I drug; possession of marijuana (14 grams or less); drug paraphernalia.

Jacquris Javon B. – Produce, manufacture, distribute or possess with intent to distribute a Schedule II drug; possession of marijuana (14 grams or less); general speed law.

Destry Adam W. – Possession of marijuana (14 grams or less); possession of a firearm by a convicted felon; illegal carrying of weapons; resisting an officer.

Ahrianna Monai Lynette B. – Possession of a Schedule IV drug.

Wyketta Marie B. – Monetary instrument abuse; forgery.

General

The Name Game #619

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The little hospital on this side of the river reports births from July and half of August. That’s twenty-five new babies including two sets of twins. Sixteen of those are born to unwed mommies, three of which didn’t get a business card from the baby daddy.

Let’s see what dwells in the ooze:

Kade H. and Athena N. get all mythological with a daughter, confusedly naming her after a MALE Greek deity, Artemis Marie.

Joshua W. and Kierstin W. tag a son with Gracen Wayne because they didn’t want to sound stupid and name him ‘Grayson’.

Destin B. and Lindsey J. innovate a middle name for their baby boy Westin Dreher.

Greyson (Whose son?) W. and Hannah B. do a daughter with Kollyns Lee.  That’s the first ‘y’ instead of ‘i’ this month.

Miss Patience T. lists her daughter as Londynn Louise, making her sound like a Victorian lady of negotiable virtue.  And giving us the second ‘y’ instead of ‘i’.

Michael W. and Kyla B. show a daughter,  Ravyn Parker, and there’s the third ‘y’ instead of ‘i.

Miss Juana G-G.  has a daughter, little Daleyza Michelle.

Klaryce(!) and Jacob A. know that truly sophisticated people eschew the letter ‘c’, so their daughter is haughtily tagged with Skarlett Elaine-Cire.

Kiley and Lester W. do twin sons and reach into a random orifice to drag out names, so we meet Bryker Lee and Bodee Paul.

Denasia(!) D. and Justin D. (different surnames) show their son Daharai Chase.

And in a decade and a half, which of these will make the OTHER Name game?

History

Today in History – 2 September

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1649 – The Italian city of Castro is completely destroyed by the forces of Pope Innocent X, ending the Wars of Castro. He didn’t appear to be all that innocent after all. Neither does today’s version.

1666 – The Great Fire of London breaks out and burns for three days, destroying 10,000 buildings including St. Paul’s Cathedral. FEMA slow to respond. Bush widely blamed.

1792 – During what became known as the September Massacres of the French Revolution, rampaging mobs slaughter three Roman Catholic Church bishops, more than two hundred priests, and prisoners believed to be royalist sympathizers. “Liberte’, Egalite’, Fraternite’” unless I disagree with you, then I’ll kill your a**.

1859 – The Carrington Event is the strongest geomagnetic storm on record. If it happened today, the world would go dark.

1870 – Franco-Prussian War: Battle of Sedan – Prussian forces take Napoleon III of France and 100,000 of his soldiers prisoner.

And when we destroy it, we will blast a crater in their racial memory so deep, that they won’t come within 1,000 klicks of this place ever again

(Where’s the quote from?)

1898 – Battle of Omdurman: British and Egyptian troops defeat Sudanese tribesmen and establish British dominance in Sudan, a move somewhat similar being ‘King of the Hill” where the hill is a shitpile.

1901 – Vice President of the United States Theodore Roosevelt utters the famous phrase, “Speak softly and carry a big stick” at the Minnesota State Fair. This is of course contrary to the obama administration’s “Whine a lot, cave in, and apologize” strategy (because ‘big stick’ had an entirely different meaning to him), or the Slo-Joe version – “Mumble something, then take a vacation.”

1919 – Communist Party of America organizes in Chicago. Presently they’ve assimilated into the dimmocrat party where they are characterized as ridiculously right-wing…

1935 – Labor Day Hurricane of 1935: A large hurricane hits the Florida Keys killing 423. FEMA slow to respond. Bush widely blamed.

1944 – During WW II, George Bush bails out of a burning plane. As opposed to Teddy Kennedy, who bailed out of a sinking car…

1945 – Combat in World War II ends in the Pacific Theater: The final official surrender of Japan is accepted aboard the battleship USS Missouri in Tokyo Bay.

1945 – Communist leader Ho Chi Minh proclaimed the Democratic Republic of Vietnam after the end of the Nguyn dynasty. Any time the official title says ‘democratic republic’, it ain’t.

1969 – The first automatic teller machine (ATM) in the United States is installed in Rockville Center, New York, is immediately besieged by a woman who searches for five minutes for her ATM card, then another five minutes for the gum wrapper on which she has written her PIN. After drawing out twenty bucks, she then spends another fifteen minutes re-applying her eye liner before leaving.

Viewing the world from Southwest Louisiana