Springtime in southwest Louisiana. Low last night near sixty, high today near eighty, and today we start out under overcast skies. the air was like damp velvet when I walked out to get the morning paper. I see that our local news folks have decided that all that unrest in Libya and the Arabian peninsula is just toooooo boring for us to read about any more, so the front page was filled withe stories about how our local rulers’ plans to dump taxpayer money into a scheme to turn our lakefront into a tourist mecca.

So I flipped over to the section of the paper wherein one might find birth announcements and found that there were two dozen birth announcements from between January 20 and February 22. Of that, thirteen were to parents who don’t share a single last name. Oh, yeah, sure, they could be keeping the family name out of high honor debt to their ancestors, or to maintain their identity in the world of art and business, but hey! You can bet that way. I’m betting marriage? Nope!  As the saying goes, “The race does not always go to the swift, but that’s the way to bet.”

And there are three new mommies who haven’t sorted through that whole, “Who’s your daddy?” thing, as in “CHILD! You just lucky you AIN’T a puppy!”.

So here we go. We’ll start out with the single kid this week who gets extra names:

Bobby & Kayla P. start their son out as Nicholas Jolie (huh?!?!?) Ray.

Then we have a run through the fine people who see a name and think, “That’s a NICE name, but if we juke up the splling, it will be so much more sophisticated.”:

Tray(!) & Kristen W. have a new son whom they tag with Karson Ted.  Whose son?  Who’s this “Kar” dude?

George & Pam G. present their son, little Kole Canyon.

Azra(!) P. & Terrance(!) L. have a little girl, Tiana Lundyn, spelled like that because a) they don’t know HOW to spell “London” or b) they don’t want you thinking she’s spot on a map or c) they think THEIR spelling makes it so much more sophisticated.  You choose.

Michael & Courtney D. have a new daughter, little Abbygail June, because “Abigail” is soooo retro and unimaginative.

Jamee'(!) L. has a son, little Jourdain Allen, because extra letters make up for forgetting the baby daddy’s name on the birth registration.

And then we have the thundering herd of “Whaaaa?????”:

Miss Erika W. either names her son for a canning jar, a career choice, or a social organization, giving us Mason Ezekiel.

Juanita L. & Kevin D. give their daughter a lift into life with KaiLee Lauriahna.

Clinton & Melissa C. give their son a manly name, showing us little Cannon Patrick.  I can’t help but wonder if little brother might not end up being Howitzer (Howie)?

Jennifer W. & Wihston M. put their hopes on a single extra capital letter to boost their daughter up the ladder, presenting little Christina LaSha.

Lawrence & Keandra(!) R. tag their baby girl with LaTasha Janae.

Chinedy(!) P. & Bernardin B. make up a name for their son, little Bennley Samuel.

Eric & Bridget D. figure that their daughter’s FIRST name needs to be a random LAST name, so she starts off as Taylor Claire.  “Just like ‘Taylor Swift’, doncha know!”

Megan R. & Tevin (!) W. hang their son with Tayten Ray.  LIke something out of a “B” sci-fi movie.  “I’m sorry, Captain!  The attack failed when they brought out the Tayten Ray!”

Brittney (how original is THAT?) A. & Samuel W. found a nem for their daughter after the dog ate the Scrabble set, giving us little Kaleis Anielle.

Angela M. & David C. pick a random last name from the phone book and toss it at their new son, little Dawson Cole.

Van & Jennifer (Probably the ONLY ‘Jennifer’ in HER class, don’t you think?) E. think that “Well, this worked out well for that Cyrus dude!” so their son starts out as Billy Ray.

Cody & Kasey(!) M. load their daughter down with Hadleigh Lynn.

And that’s the end of the list for this Sunday.