And on Christmas morning (clear, bright, breezy) I finally settle down with a good cup of coffee and the Sunday paper. Yep! 92 birth announcements from August 22 to December 12, and of the 92, 34 were to single or unmarried parents.

My head is too muddled to try and categorize these this morning.

Miss Katrina C—– and Mr. Alfred E—— announce their new daughter Kyeasia. One could hope that the child has success in life commensurate with the number of vowels in her name…

The next one competes in both the “where’d they get THAT?” category and the “how big IS that block that says ‘baby’s name’ on the birth registry?” Mr. Archie and Mrs. Shirley P——- announce their daughter, little Marionna Fa’Tavia Ashlyn Antionette. I think they were stopping people in the hall and writing their names down… You will also note the sophistication added by the extra apostrophe and capital letter in “Fa’Tavia”.

Next, Mr. Jerome B—— and Miss Courtney C—- announce their new daughter, little Akea Amonte. Soundls like the collison of two import cars…

Mr. Damon S—— and Miss Amy G—- announce their new baby girl, little Kadence Elektra. Somebody stole the “C” key, I’m guessing…

Mr. David R—– and Miss Lauren H—– announce their new son, Atticus Haze.

Mr. & Mrs. Tommy M—– announce their new son Tyrese, destined no doubt, for the NBA…

Now, watch this one closely: Mr. Dekelley B—– and Miss Shaunda S—– announce their new daughter, (here it comes!) Dekally. Did you catch that? De daddy name be Dekelley. De baby name be Dekally. Dat so cuuuuute!

Miss Qyechia T——— and Mr. Gary P—— announce their new daughter Jasmin. Dey doan’ use a “E” so you doan be thinkin’ dey be talkin’ ’bout no flower… Actually, I almost didn’t post this one, but I just wanted to type that mommy’s name, “Qyechia”…

Mr. Christopher and Mrs. Candace M—– announce the birth of their new daughter, little Mariylah Jennifer. I dunno. That first name? How you gonna pronounce that?

Here’s a triple: Mr. Brian and Mrs. Dewana G—- announce their new son, Leland Jace Russell. “Jace”. I’m thinkin’ mullet here…

Mr. Aaron P—– and Miss Johanna M——– announce thier new daughter, little Kairi Ann. I love changing names so they end in an “i”, don’t you?

Okay, I’ll quit for now… It’s time for me to go find a Christmas dinner.