A new sign in the bank lobby reads: “Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.”
Male Procedure:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
Female Procedure:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the
machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Reinsert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and reenter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Recheck makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
(From an email from good friend Norm)
y, you’re gong to get some love notes on that one :-D
Sorry, I’m on the laptop,,,
It should have said “Boy, you’re going to get some love notes. . .
That is the funniest thing I have read in a long time… I’m gonna have to quote you on this one…
tsk, tsk, tsk,,,,,such stuff and nonsense! I’ll have you know I always check the parking brake before I take off!
I agree with Michele…..I always check my parking brake too PLUS I never leave my card in the machine….of course my ATM is not the kind where you have to stick your card in. You just have to swipe it….but that’s beside the point anyways!!
Well, that is certainly a true story. I’ve been behind some of those women at the ATM window.
Also wonder why they (the female of the species) wait until they are told the total at the check-out window before they start to dig in their purse to get the cash/credit card.
that is preety great but i hate my wife when she goes shopping and then forgets her credit card and then asks me to pay.
I agree wit Michele…..I always check my parking brake too PLUS I never leave my card in the machine….of course my ATM is not the kind where you have to stick your card in. You just have to swipe it….but that’s beside the point anyways!!