Wasn’t easy finding a hometown paper in Abbeville, Louisiana, but I managed, and as I sit in my motel room wiggling my bare feet, I see that we have two hospitals reporting births between April 2 and April 19. That’s a total of 89 new babies, and 41 of them popped out before the parents did that silly archaic marraige thing, Heck, eight of them were born to mommies who seem to have memory problems, because there wasn’t a baby daddy name listed.

We’re gonna lead off with the folks whoseem to find names they like, but they’re either not sure how to spell thme, or they just think taht the old spelling doesn’t make the new baby unique, like everybody else…

The first name on the list makes me wonder… I personally am proud of my Cajun heritage, and I have a name traceable back to the original immigrants in the original Acadia, now Nova Scotia, in Canada in the 1600’s. But these folks DON’T HAVE A Cajun name. They have a good, relatively common English name. Patrick and Janet H. have a new son and they named him Barrington Jed Fontneaux. Yep, a triple. And “Barrington”. And that last name, well, any Cajun KNOWS it’s spelled incorrectly. It’s supposed to be spelled “Fontenot”, and I know becuse that’s Mom’s maiden name. But I suppose that if you’re into “looks like” and “sounds like”, then a little thing like correct spelling is no problem.

Jason C. & Cherie S. have a new daughter named Kailyn Nikol. Now, since “Kailyn” is one of those cutesy modern contrived names, you get to spell it any way you want, but Nicole, well, just why?

Russel K. & Susan G. Have a new daughter, too, little Cadince Victoria. Since “Cadence” is a real word with a meaning entirely alien to naming a baby girl, you have to goof around with the spelling to turn it into a name with no meaning but cutesie sounds.

Next we’ll look at those fine folks who pulled names out of thin air, or whatever…

Michael & Yessinia R. have twin boys. Check these out: Izyac Matt and Izyah Matthew. And foretelling the future, little kid comes creaming through the door. Momma says, “Izyah?” Little kid, “No, Momma, I Izyak.”

Morris W. & Tarwanda D. present their baby girl, little Moriyah Larae.

Miss Shawanda J. has a new baby girl, little Aneighya LaShay. She don’t have aname in the “Baby Daddy” blank on the birht announcement.

Stephanie M. & Jamar B. have a new son, little DeMarion Jordan.

Alecia C. & Jerald F. have a new daughter, little JaMyri Ginee.

Deshawna B. & Antonio M. have a new son, little Jamone Akoya. “Antonio, you gonna be aroun’ afta de baby’s born?” “Yeah. Akoya!”

J’Lynn K. & Michael R. have a new daughter, little Makenzie DeSarae. Note the classy use of a misspelled last name for a first name and an extra capital letter in the contrived and misspelled middle name.

And yes, we do have a couple more triples, babies so special that they needed an extra name.

Erica C. & Freddie M. present their new son, little Matthew Joseph Isaac.

Angela N. presents us with her baby girl, little Chrystal Ivy Ruth. She had extra room on the birth announcement since she wasn’t posting the daddy’s name.

Lastly, we have the folks who find that twenty-six letters of the alphabet are too restrictive, so they bring in a bit of punctuation.

Miss Rochelle R. has a new daughter, little A’Myree Renee. The baby daddy seems to be absent.

Christopher C. & Jessie T. show us their baby girl, little Chrisly’nn Joyce.

Miss Justina L. has a new daughter, too, little Zy-Lasha Necole.

Paul A. & Shade H. present their new daughter, Aurianna A’Liece.

So I guess that if I have to come up with the name of the week, It’d have to be Miss Shawanda J’, new baby girl, little Aneighya LaShay.

And with that, I bid you good evening…