Seventy whole degrees at 0800 this morning, up from a low of sixty-five, headed for the mid-eighties. Under hazy blue skies, I walked out and grabbed the Sunday paper.

Opening it up, I find that the big hospital across the river reports twenty-eight new babies from between March 27 and April 21.  Out of those, seventeen are to unwed  parents, and four of those new mommies can’t remember who the baby daddy might be.

Let’s see what’s in the stack:

Miss Yashika(!!! –  Wonder if she’s got a sister ‘Minolta’ and an uncle Hasselblad?) L. presents her son, little Kingston Meckhi.

Robert R. & Marqueta A. do a daughter, Zendaya Annrie.

Gary O. & (Watch THIS!!!) Precious(!!!) C. are enamored of the letter ‘O’, so their daughter is Olivia Octavia.

Curtis M. & Samantha J. roll out their son, little Kruize Alexander.

Miss Faith D. drops a little girl, Dahlia Grace.  I guess the next one will be a son, Nasturtium, huh?

Derrius(!) G. & Leah C. do a son, Christian Dionte.

Brian D. & Marquetta(!) S. apostrophicate their son, little Mar’Keithan Brian.

Miss Karlee F. shows her son, little Jaxton Dwight.

Jaylond(!) J. & Ashley F. give their son one of those manly terse single syllable names, Jayce Demond.

Deonta(!) K. & Markedia(!!) R. show a son, little Da’Vion King.  As offspring of DEonta & Markedia, what chance did the kid have?

Reginald ‘n’ Britney P.  go textile on their daughter, Paisley Brielle.

Oh, you  just KNEW it was gonna happen sooner or later, so here it is, straight from Southwest Louisiana:  Miss Shani(!) M. has a son (wait for it!!!) tagged with Anakin Skywalker.  I’m serious.  It’s there in the newspaper in black and white!  Probably gonna be nicknamed ‘Jar-jar’.

Tronald(! – ‘Ronald with a ‘t’) B. & Asia P. punctuate their daughter, little Abrielle A’mora.  Note that they do not adhere to the ‘Punctuate the first letter AFTER the goofy-assed apostrophe’ rule.

Clark & Dana V. do a daughter up with Fynnlie Mae, because if you’re gonna go through the effort to drop a stupid name on a kid, the letter ‘y’ is a step further down the road to idiocracy.

Joseph H. & Christina L. do a daughter with Kristian Joriway.

And there’s the list for this week.