Forty-one and overcast.  Son sick with some sort of bug.  Both of us on a diet.  No football today.  Not shaping up to be one of the better Sundays on record.

So we get to the names in the Sunday paper.  One hospital reports its births this week.  Thirty-eight new babies. Twenty-one of these newborns enter the world with a mommy and daddy not married to each other.  Eight of these new mommies have various reasons to NOT post a daddy’s name at all, like “He’s in dah see eye aye in Pakistan huntin’ tare-ists an’ I cain’t break his cover.”

Getting on with the debacle, we’ll start off with a couple of folks who like a name but don’t want to be restricted by spelling it like everybody else.

Kandis & Michael A. liked the name “Carlie”, but momma is rather fond of the letter “K”, so the new daughter gets hung with Karlie Rayne.  Now, that second name:  is that a goofy spelling of a form of precipitation, a commemoration of a small town in Louisiana, or simply a syllable that sounded good to the parents?

Monte’ F. & Vonetta W. have a new son.  So he gets daddy’s first name, Monte’, complete with the extraneous diacritical mark.  Then they wanted to name him a more swingy version of Daniel, like “Danielle” except everybody knows that “Danielle” is a girl’s name, so they get creative with the spelling, and we end up with “Donyeil”.  Cool, huh?

Miss Shomeka E. has a new son, Kollin Pierre.  With a “K”.  Because all de single moms KNOW that “C” is sooooo common.  She knows that.  She don’t know what name to put in the “father” blank of the birth registration.

We have a few of the “what body orifice did you pull THAT out of?” crew:

Wilbert B. & Sirena P. name thier new son Kameron Garnet, avoiding the connection between his first name and a storm-ravaged town by exchanging a “C” for a “K”, and then for a middle name, they name him for a third-tier gemstone.

Miss Glacoyia (Glacoyia?) H-A, hyphenated last name and all, has a new son, little Rakwonn Quentin.  While she was hyphenating her last name and jerking a contrived handle for her new son, she missed collecting a name for the father.

Christopher K. & Alexis H. have a new daughter, little Kyrsten Rion.

Miss Rosalyn C. presents her new son, little Jayden Jamal.  The baby daddy be missin’.

Miss LaTonya (as opposed to plain ol’ “Tonya”) T. brings out her new daughter, Ramiyah Danae.  Another one of those CIA agents at work, apparently.

Terry P. and Julia B. show us their new daughter, little Maria-lee.  That’s it!  Just “Mariah-lee”.

Lawrence J. & Raven G. present their new son, little Traius Jay.

Lastly, we have a weak showing in the “Punctuation makes my baby special” category:

Jermaine & Katherine B. give us their new daughter, little Hallee Jhane’.  Which leads us to the question:  Is that just a goofy-a**ed way to spell “Jane” or do they intend to expect it to be pronounced “zhuh-nay”.  Or “Boo”.

Miss Valerie M. has a new son, little Jai’Ren Rashaud.  She’s another one who was sworn to secrecy by  the CIA after providing a bit of R & R for one of their agents.

That’s a good stopping point.  I’ll get on with the week and we’ll see what happens between now and next Sunday.