253 – Pope Cornelius is executed (beheaded) at Centumcellae. Today’s Muslims employ this same method of proselytizing Christians among them.

1867 – First barbed wire patented by Lucien B. Smith of Ohio. It is oh, so useful! Fences. Concertina rolls. Double aprons. Tanglefoot.

1876 – Battle of the Little Bighorn and the death of Lieutenant Colonel George Armstrong Custer.

1938 – Federal minimum wage law guarantees workers 40 cents per hour

1944 – World War II: The Battle of Tali-Ihantala, the largest battle ever fought in the Nordic countries, begins. Out-numbered three to one, the gutsy Finns fight the soviet Army to a standstill, saving Finland from becoming yet another commie satellite.

1947 – The Diary of a Young Girl (better known as The Diary of Anne Frank) is published. Real Nazis kill young girls.

1948 – The Berlin Airlift begins. When America had the guts to stand and say “NO!” instead of “Can we talk?” while people die.

1949 – Long-Haired Hare is released in theaters starring Bugs Bunny. Warner Brothers is at the pinnacle of the cartoon game, dare I say, the ACME?!?!?

1950 – The Korean War begins with the invasion of South Korea by North Korea. American troops are STILL there. We clearly need an exit strategy. Of course, each successive North Korean despot is wackier than the last…

1996 – The Khobar Towers bombing in Saudi Arabia kills 19 U.S. servicemen. The culprits are a mob of radical Norwegian Baptists. Wait! NO? Saudis, you say? Muslims? You’re kidding, right? That’s like, the Religion of Peace” and those are our, uh, ALLIES.