1780 – At the Battle of Waxhaws, Lieutenant Colonel Banastre Tarleton massacres Colonel Abraham Buford’s continentals allegedly after the continentals surrender. 113 Americans are killed. Nothing like a good massacre to show how you really feel.

1849 – Lincoln says “You can fool some of the people all of the time, all of people some of time, but you can’t fool all of the people all of time”. The dimmocrat party says “all you gotta do is fool enough to get yourself elected, then screw ’em all…”

1864 – Emperor Maximilian of Mexico arrives in Mexico for the first time. He has the full backing of the French government which naturally means he’s an incompetent despot, later executed by his own rebellious people.

1886 – Chemist John Pemberton places his first advertisement for Coca-Cola, the ad appearing in the Atlanta Journal.

1913 – Igor Stravinsky’s ballet score The Rite of Spring receives its premiere performance in Paris, France, provoking a riot. Go ahead and laugh. What do we expect every time there’s a rap ‘concert’ or a professional sports team championship win?

1940 – The first flight of the Vought F4U Corsair. In the coming war, the Japanese called it “Whistling Death”.

1942 – Bing Crosby, the Ken Darby Singers and the John Scott Trotter Orchestra record Irving Berlin’s “White Christmas”, the best-selling Christmas album in history, for Decca Records in Los Angeles. Come Christmas time, it’s either this, or “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer”.

1953 – Sir Edmund Hillary and Sherpa Tenzing Norgay are the first people to reach the summit of Mount Everest, on Tenzing Norgay’s (adopted) 39th birthday. Hillary Clinton, born in 1947, is, by her own words, named after Sir Edmund, who was completely unknown in 1947, which means she should be president.

1964 – The Arab League meets in East Jerusalem to discuss the Palestinian question, leading to the formation of the Palestine Liberation Organization. The PLO is a terrorist organization and its formation gives ‘legitimate’ Arab governments somewhat plausible deniability in violent acts against Israel.

1977 – Janet Guthrie becomes first woman to drive in Indy 500, completes first ten laps while applying mascara.

1987 – Michael Jackson attempts to buy Elephant Man’s remains, offering a slightly used Cub Scout troop and an undisclosed amount of cash.

2001 – In a decision that shakes the Republic to its very foundations, The U.S. Supreme Court rules that the disabled golfer Casey Martin can use a cart to ride in tournaments.