253 – Pope Cornelius is executed (beheaded) at Centumcellae. Today’s Muslims employ this same method of proselytizing Christians among them.

1848 – A photograph of the June Days uprising becomes the first known instance of photojournalism. Like much that’s gone on in France until recently, it’s hard to tell which side to pull for.

1867 – First barbed wire patented by Lucien B. Smith of Ohio. It is oh, so useful! Fences. Concertina rolls. Double aprons. Tanglefoot. And the complete, transcendental joy of running your tank cross-country, dismounting, and finding you’ve wrapped a few hundred feet of that crap around your sprocket.

1876 – Battle of the Little Bighorn and the death of Lieutenant Colonel George Armstrong Custer. He’d been a brevet (temporary -‘acting jack’) general in the Civil War.

1938 – Federal minimum wage law guarantees workers 40 cents per hour

1944 – World War II: The Battle of Tali-Ihantala, the largest battle ever fought in the Nordic countries, begins. Out-numbered three to one, the gutsy Finns fight the Soviet Army to a standstill, saving Finland from becoming yet another commie satellite.

1947 – The Diary of a Young Girl (better known as The Diary of Anne Frank) is published. Real Nazis kill young girls.

1948 – The Berlin Airlift begins. When America had the guts to stand and say “NO!” instead of “Can we talk?” while people die.

1949 – Long-Haired Hare is released in theaters starring Bugs Bunny. Warner Brothers is at the pinnacle of the cartoon game, dare I say, the ACME?!?!?

1950 – The Korean War begins with the invasion of South Korea by North Korea. American troops are STILL there. We clearly need an exit strategy. Of course, each successive North Korean despot is wackier than the last…

1996 – The Khobar Towers bombing in Saudi Arabia kills 19 U.S. servicemen. The culprits are a mob of radical Norwegian Baptists. Wait! NO? Saudis, you say? Muslims? You’re kidding, right? That’s like, the Religion of Peace” and those are our, uh, ALLIES.

2009 – Michael Jackson dies from a drug overdose instead of being beaten to a pulp after being imprisoned for molesting young boys.