1787 – Mozart’s opera Don Giovanni receives its first performance in Prague. You need this overture.

1929 – The New York Stock Exchange crashes in what will be called the Crash of ‘29 or “Black Tuesday,” ending the Great Bull Market of the 1920s and beginning the Great Depression. Leads to the election of a dimmocrat president and the massive expansion of the federal government. Seconds, anyone?

1944 – The city of Breda in the Netherlands is liberated by 1st Polish Armoured Division. If only they’d had Charles de Gaulle, they could’ve singlehandedly liberated Paris.

1945 – The first commercially-made ballpoint pens went on sale — at Gimbels Department Store in New York City. The pens sold for $12.50 and racked up a tidy profit of $500,000 in the first month!

1955 – The Soviet battleship Novorossiysk strikes a World War II mine in the harbor at Sevastopol. NO, the USSR didn’t BUILD it. It was an Italian battleship – reparations after WW II.

1956 – Suez Crisis begins: Israeli forces invade the Sinai Peninsula and push Egyptian forces back toward the Suez Canal. This works so well that the Israelis do it again in 1967 and 1973.

1966 – The National Organization for Women (NOW) was formed. An alternative name, the “National Association of Gals” (NAG) doesn’t make the cut. It gives homely women a way to appear meaningful in mainstream society.

1969 – The first-ever computer-to-computer link is established on ARPANET, the precursor to the Internet. Al Gore curiously absent, probably off getting his chakras re-aligned.

1998 – Space Shuttle Discovery blasts off on STS-95 with 77-year old John Glenn on board, making him the oldest person to go into space. Senator Glenn is a dimmocrat, an excellent example of heroism in younger years NOT translating to wisdom in later years.

2012 – Hurricane Sandy hits the east coast of the United States, killing 148 directly and 138 indirectly, while leaving nearly $70 billion in damages and causing major power outages, finally replacing Hurricane Katrina as the SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT hurricane in history because it, like hit NEW YORK where Really Important People™ live.