Why, pray tell, do you have this morbid aversion to common sense?

You know that you’re going to get my hips in trouble, you are also aware that you overwork yourself to the brink which means I need to visit my childhood dentist, Dr. Har into, well adulthood. And no, his limited English does not make it any more comfortable under that sickening drilling thingy as his eyebrows burrow and his piercing black eyes bore into me while he silently admonishes me for your poor decisions.

As much as my taste buds love you, it really is an unhealthy relationship, one that has been tumultuous and agonisingly torturous throughout the years. I wish the two of you would just have a clean break without the numerous tear jerking love letters going back and forth.

My enforced gym trips are not worth your existence. I did try to convince Dr Har to remove you but he shook his head like I was a lost cause (not entirely sure what that’s about). Anyway, please leave the rest of me alone … I beg you. My hips have a long way to go before they forget you entirely.

I have an ice cream craving right about now … damn you sweet tooth, damn you.