Young love, first love,
Filled with true devotion,
Young love, our love,
We share with deep emotion.
– Sonny James
Whatever happened to my first steady girlfriend? I’d love to reconnect with her, you know, just to find out how life went for her. I mean, we once were a ‘major item’ and knew each other very well in most accepted (and maybe even unacceptable by some, like parents) senses of the expression.
We also fancied we were in love, albeit an idea we really knew very little about. Come to think of it, I’m not sure I know much more about it now, though I do believe I have been in love with a few hundred females in my life, including some I know no better than just having passed them on the street one sunny day.
Anyway, we linked up in the summer I had finished my senior year of high school. She was just passing into her senior year. We hit it off virtually immediately, right from our first date. I’m of the era when people still formally dated and if those dates seemed to indicate something promising was afoot, then you ‘went steady.’
She became my ‘steady’. We didn’t do the ring thing, or any other talismanic fol-de-rol, but we did have an ‘understanding’ of the sort that meant you were supposed to be ever so slightly engaged.
It was neat to have a steady in one respect, and that was the ego boost that came from somebody attractive – and she was very attractive – finding you equally attractive. She was (I’ll call her Elaine, though that’s not her real name, but I shall respect her privacy) not only attractive, but extremely bright and well-read and had a great sense-of-humor. If a 17-year-old can be ribald, she would even qualify as ribald. An utter gem. Oh, and she also had a slightly chipped front tooth. I found that highly sexy for some warped reason.
That was all great for me at many levels because I had just weaned myself off a two year enraptured crush of the sort that makes the brilliantly plaintive and hurt songs of Adele seem even more poignant. Hey girl, I know what that feels like. And then Elaine came along and the world seemed brighter.
What felt good is that I finally felt like something of a winner and it was a tremendous boost to self-confidence to have somebody I loved and respected in my life. So, parents, don’t discourage your kids from getting involved with another, especially of those kids have esteem problems. It’s a huge bit of encouragement.
I suggested there is a slight downside to the steady ritual as it was and that was that one was not expected to tomcat around other nubile young things even though one is only 18. And if one does, and any of the steady’s %$#&& girlfriends should see one being a little too chatty with another girl those same %$#%^& girlfriends would make sure to tell the steady. And steady wouldn’t be quite as friendly as she had been and it was her ‘friendliness’ in certain respects that kept a fella coming back.
The relationship lasted two years and then we went our respective ways. But we remained friends for a while. I went to her wedding to another dude, and she came to my first wedding. You know, as friends. But it wasn’t ever quite the same again.
And ultimately we lost touch and haven’t been in touch for decades. But, you know, I sort of miss her at times. I’d love to sit down and talk with her and find out what her life was like. If you know her, get her to give me a call.
I was put in mind of this as something of a seasonal thing based on the fact I found this old photo of the two of us at a New Year’s Eve party at her place.
May she have a happy new year.
And I still think so 