Change is in the air

So for those who have known me, know that I have bad knees.  My right knee in particular is very bad and I walk(ed) with a LOT of pain.  I was also extremely overweight as well.  While I don't think being overweight caused all this pain it sure didn't help it.  So I thought I would tell my story of change.  I'm not sure where to begin but it's a story that needs to be told for different reasons-

1. Being overweight and the struggles that go along with it

2. Physical issues that bind us down

3. Breaking free to enjoy life.  

So I'll start with number 1 and probably float into number 2.  I've been overweight for a lot of years.  I was never a tiny girl growing up.  I don't know that I was overweight either but compared to others I wasn't the small cute girl.  My weight went up and down and then I had children.  It went up and up and up.  Not because I had children but because my focus wasn't on me very much.  And really when you gain weight you don't want to focus on yourself.  So what did I do but eat more and gain more weight and that is a vicious cycle.  I tried to tell myself that this was me.  This is who I was and to embrace it and love it.  Any self esteem I had dwindled to almost nil.  People would say that is hard to believe that but it's true.  I could see the good in everybody but myself.  I talked very negatively to myself and all the time.  Mostly in my head and if I was the only person around out loud.  My sweet sister said to me not long ago "why are you so hard on yourself?"  My reply "look at what being nice has gotten me?"  She challenged me to look for ways to build myself up and to stop tearing myself down.

I joined a gym about 3 years ago and started to do Water Aerobics.  I fell in love.  I quickly gained friends and when I missed and went back they would all ask if things were okay.  I had found a home and was accepted- fat and all.  I quickly found I needed something else in my workout.  So I would swim laps and found that I could challenge myself in how fast I could swim a lap, a mile, or more.  I would get up at 4:30 am so I could be at the gym when they opened.  Hey those lap lanes go fast.  I gained more friends.  One morning I woke up and I said oh I don't want to go.  I'm tired so why should I go and a voice as clear as any said to me "because you are worth it."  I thought about it in my sleep induced state and said yes, YES I am!  And that has become my motto.  I lost weight in the process.  About 25-30 lbs.  I could see my body changing.  And then I became lax in my eating and gained 15 lbs back.  I felt defeated again!  I was swimming but that was it. 

I was told by my Dr. that in order to have knee surgery I would need to lose weight.  I had to be at or under 35 BMI.  Another big hurdle but that would prove to be a motivating factor for me.  I had a friend who went to a weight loss center.  She had success and I thought this is my chance.  It wasn't cheap but I lost weigh and the ball started to roll.  The weekly weigh in's proved to be to much of a stress for me so I stopped going but I keep on the eating plan.  7 lbs gone, 5 lbs gone, and so forth.  I wouldn't make my July surgery date but perhaps I could shoot for Dec.  I found the more I lost the bigger rush it became all the while the chant of "because you are worth it." rang in my ears.  For once in my life I was in control of me.  It felt great!  It felt empowering and I truly believed in myself.  I was beginning to love me and while I was losing weight I was still having knee pain.  It wasn't as bad as before but it was painful.  So the motivation kept me going and  I loved my new body and was shocked every time I would try clothes on and I would have to go to a smaller size. My family has been my biggest cheerleaders.  Friends too.  Even if I only lost 1.2 lbs they celebrated with me.  I knew they believed in me too. 

I made an appt to go see the Dr since I was now 65 lbs lighter.  He walked into the room and got a smile on his face and said well what are you here for?  I said lets talk about surgery. I'm almost to my goal.  He said YES!  You are close enough lets do this.  It was a day of celebration for me.  I called/text/emailed everyone I could think of.  I had reached my goal and it felt GREAT! 

Number 3- I've had my surgery and am working hard at getting back into life.  I went to rehab after the hospital and my PT there started me on the right track.  He set the bar high and expected me to make it and I did. I then went to my first Outpatient PT appt and was lucky enough to get Allison.  She took me into a room to see where I was and I heard her say- What goals do you have?  What is it that you want to do?  I almost cried.  It was the first time in a long time I had meet a really big goal and because I did that I could now reach for others that were always too far into the future.  I said "oh I have a few of them.  I want to hike in Zion's National Park and walk among the arches.  I want to do a mini triathlon.  I want to go to Italy with my husband and walk all over."  I want..... I want.... I want....  The list (bucket? maybe) keeps getting longer but I can now freely dream without having doubts creep in or someone say you have to wait!  "The world is my oyster!"

So I've learned some pretty important lessons over these past 3-4 years.  Those lessons include that it's very important to have faith in yourself.  To love yourself for who you are but to seek to always be better tomorrow than you are today.  To dream of things you want to do and prepare to do them.  And you know why you can do those things?  "Because you are worth it!"

Rembrandt

About a month ago I received this email - 

FSU Vice President for Research Gary K. Ostrander invites you to a faculty reception to view a private collection of original Rembrandt etchings generously on loan from Drs. Tobia and Morton Mower.

I forwarded the text to Mike and we chatted back and forth about going to see this.  We both thought it would be a great and once in a chance life time experience to see these etchings.  I knew I would forget so I put a reminder in my phone that would alert me the day before.  

Mike met me at an FSU parking garage and on to the show we went.  It was great to see etchings that are over 400 years old.  They were amazing to look at.  I took photos of some of them.  It took about an hour to see all of them.  I don't know that I had any favorites  but they were all great!  I was drawn to the biblical etchings but they were all great!  Sorry some of the pictures are yellow.  It was the lighting inside.

Esther

Angel stopping Abraham from killing Isaac

Prodigal Son

Christ before Pilate

One of my favorites- The Nativity.  You can see Mary laying in the hay and next to her is baby Jesus

 

 

Christ being removed from the cross

The disciples again removing the body of the Savior

Cottage and big tree

Stinky windmill. 

I have a few other pictures but you can google Rembrandt and see them in better light.  He was truly a gifted artist and I'm glad we took the time to go see these.  

 

Getting my craft on.

I have so many things that I want to do that I keep telling Mike I don't have time to work.  But working allows me to do/buy basically whatever I want so I stick with it.  I've been getting my craft on lately.  I like doing that.  I had seen a pinterest post where someone took a big letter S and hung it on their door.  I loved it!  When I thought I'm going to do that I thought about my letter and it would have to be an L.  How do you hang an L from your door.  I went to Hobby Lobby and found the biggest letter I could find.  Then everything started to click in my head. 

I love the new burlap ribbons that are out.  And I found some wonderful burlap flowers!  I couldn't make them work so they had to stay at the store.  :-( .  But I wasn't satisfied with my new letter size.  I went over to the unpainted wood section and found HUGE letters there.  That was what I was looking for.  Then I decided instead of painting the letter I would cover it with scrapbook paper and modge podge it. 

I didn't think of taking pictures before this point.

Front side and all MPed up.. 

Playing with ideas. 

Checking the length of ribbon

cut ribbon after determining it was too long

 

I like it!  And I'm glad I did it.  It was fun.  Then this weekend Alyse, Bryan and I all painted with Bob Ross.  I loved watching him as a kid and both my parents painted and I've done other stuff like drawing.  So I figured how bad at painting could I be?  It was a blast!  I would love to do it again but maybe this time with acrylics instead of oil.  It's hard to clean up after and the paint stays wet forever.  Here is what we did!  

Alyse's painting

Bryan's painting

 

My painting

All three paintings together with the picture of what Bob had wanted us to paint.  

We did have a few issues.  Like only one set of brushes.   And like I said to others, I was with Bob until he got to the mountains then I went and hiked a different one.  I made mine more of a sand dune sea oat beach scene.   It does make me chuckle how all 3 are so different yet we all pretty much sat side by side. 

I think it would be a hoot to have the whole family do one together.  Can you imagine the possibilities of everyone doing the same painting.  Wonder how a new Christmas tradition would sound to everyone?  HAHAHAHAHA-  I love getting my craft on! 

Update on sewing room.

So after looking, thinking and wondering I have finished for a moment my sewing room.  I'm excited to use the new stuff I've purchased and use up the old stuff. I might use the microwave (heavy and all wood) cart in our piano room and put in one more set of cubes. I wasn't sure the cubes would work but they will be fine.  This side is still a work in progress.

Thanks to Kristen and Becky for the donations of  their cubes to my sewing room.

Same old desk for my sewing machine and odds and ends.  I purchased a magnetic strip from IKEA when I went to visit Robby and Brittany.  You can see I've not hung it up yet but I do love knowing where my scissors and rotary cutter are the minute I need them.  Much less the seam ripper and small screwdriver to my sewing machine. 

I put a small table in front of my sewing machine so if I'm quilting something big it will float over to that table and not down on the floor.  Mike also bought me a serger!  It's covered in plastic.  So excited to use it. 

 

My now amazing 6 chest of drawers instead of 12 see the old version here.  And my new cutting mat that will cut all my fun shapes for me when I'm making a quilted something!  Can't wait to fully use this baby!  If you want to see what they do go here. You will want one too!  

 

 And last but not least a panorama of the room.  (Ignore the drawers behind my chair.  They are leaving soon.  The box will need to find another home too.)  It's not your eyes that make it look like the walls are bulging!  But I'm happy for now.   On to another room! 

The only thing constant is change!

I have caught the quilting bug.  I love to make quilt patterns and I love to make those into quilts.  It makes my mind happy.  It makes my soul happy.  It makes our checking account unhappy but oh well.  Here are some of the latest-

I don't know why this keeps turning sideways

I love them.  I especially love the flag quilt.  It's called a bargello pattern.  It's pretty good for my first try.  I will machine quilt these myself.  That still is a bit scary for me.? 

So since I have this new adventure I have struggled with making my sewing room useful and organized.  I read a quote that made me smile.

So I have been looking for a long time ideas that would make my sewing room work.  I have a friend Nancy who has given me ideas and thoughts.  The honey do list for Mike just keeps growing.  :-)

But I'm finally getting around to what this post is all about.  Before I was born my dad and his cabinet making friend built this set of chest of drawers.  This set of chest of drawers has quite the history.  It held many clothes and was pulled open and pushed shut to many times to count.  It was built so strong and sturdy that one could hid inside and a bomb could do off and I'm sure not one hair would come off your head. This chest of drawers went through me and my siblings and our children.  The drawers were sometimes hard to push in and pull out due to the metal tracks.  We would rub soap on them to make them slide easier.

So the kids grew and left home.  The big chest of drawers stayed and was always huge and in the way!  I had looked on Pinterest about how to better make this sewing room work.  I talked to my friends.  I loved this idea here Idea #1   
I even looked into taking out the shelves and putting in shelves like this idea #2

These are the times I really miss my dad.  He would know what to do and how to do it.  I sent ideas and furniture ideas to Mike and he would say I'm not sure how to do that.  Then I was sitting at my sewing table looking at the chest of drawers and it came to me.  "Take the top off and saw it in half then put the top back on the bottom part." Okay that would work and I could use it to cut fabric and to do other stuff.  So I talked to Mike and he told me that before my dad died he made Mike promise that he would never ruin any of the furniture he had made.  I just looked at him and said nice try. 

So here is what we did.  I come home from the gym and was feeling quite strong and into making this happen.  I took all the drawers out and moved the chest to one side of the room.  Mike came home and I was sitting by him on the couch.  I thought no more sitting it's action time.   I got up and found a hammer walked through the room Mike was sitting and into the room I went.  I banged the top of the chest some and the top was coming off nicely.  Mike thought it would break.  Oh silly Mike, it was after all built by my dad.  He took the hammer and started to hit his side.  At this point he said it's nailed on.  I said ya it is.. keep hitting it.  Mike finally said we are committed to this now.  No going back.  I said whoo hooo!  We got the top off and carried the chest out to the garage.  We marked the cutting line with tape.  And off we went.  We laid the chest on each side as we would cut.  We were finally left with two boards that needed to be cut but couldn't be with the skill saw.  Mike found his jig saw and the deed was done. 
 

The lower portion of the chest.

The top tipped on it's side. 

Mike pulling out the nails from the top. 

The next part was to remove the nails from the top.  The outside has a veneer on it that was pretty thick.  So instead of cutting the nails off he was able to use his might strength and pull the nails all the way through the board.  We took my new pride and joy back into the sewing room and here you have it!  I'm so thrilled by how it all turned out. 

The chest back in the room. 

So there you have it.  The interesting part of the story is a little personal.  When I walked into the room with the hammer I said a prayer and asked Heavenly Father if He would allow my dad to come and help me/us do this so it would turn out.  In my head I saw how to do it.  The steps were laid out.  As I talked to Mike he would say this is how I think we need to do this- and he would tell me the steps exactly in the order that they were laid out in my head.  As we cut the chest down it went perfect.  Is the cut perfect no but does it work.  YES!  I truly believe we had divine help that night.  And now my sewing room has a new table and cutting board and fabric holder and quilt holder-upper!  It was a fun night for me.  I knew it was possible and to have this experience enlightened my understanding of asking for help and knowing it comes.  I posted this on Facebook after we were done working- 

"What do you call someone who doesn't think your ideas are crazy or at least doesn't say you are but jumps into the idea boat and begins to paddle with you?? A hero whose name is Mike Ladle! We had an adventure tonight and it turned out just as I had thought and envisioned! Whoop whoop!"

Do we fill our lives with so much of our own treats....

This morning I turned on BYU TV and heard this while I was in another room.  It was given in 2000 at BYU Women's Conference.  By Sharon Larson.  I thought it was great!  The whole talk is great and I would encourage you to listen to it.  I have put the link at the bottom.  But for my sake I have put here the things that pricked my heart and mind.

"In time we will look back at what may seem like disconnected, independent pieces of our
lives and better understand what God is trying to make of us. You remember the analogy
quoted by C. S. Lewis: “Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that
house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right
and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on: you knew that those jobs needed doing and so
you are not surprised. But presently he starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts
abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is
that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of—throwing out a new
wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You
thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a
palace.

........ This same daughter, who is now a mother of two—almost three—little boys, brought treats
to sacrament meeting to pacify her boys. As the sacrament tray of bread was passed down
our row, Jake, then three, whispered in my ear, “Tell them we don’t need that bread. We
brought our own treats.” To a three-year-old, the treats from home looked much more
inviting than the pieces of broken bread. Jake did not understand the sacred symbolism of
the bread. But what about us who do understand? Do we fill our lives with so much of our
own treats that we have no appetite for the Bread of Life that will sustain us? Why does a
“mess of pottage,” without any of the essential nutrients, seem more appealing at times than
the Bread of Life, and we find ourselves passing up the banquet the Lord has prepared for
us?  Evil designs do exist in the hearts of conspiring people (see D&C 89:4).

It takes faith to choose the good. Exercising faith in the Lord and His plan for us is spiritual
calisthenics. We have opportunities every day to improve that skill so we will not be
deceived. As women of God, we can feel His love and His strength every day. Even though
we are trying to do the best we can, we all slip and pick ourselves up and try again, and the
Lord is there to dust us off. Some of you are carrying heavy, heavy burdens. We are not free
from tribulation or weighty loads, but I testify (because I know) that He will make you
strong to carry the weight placed upon you. Let Him heal your broken heart and broken
dreams.

President George Q. Cannon reminds us: “No matter how serious the trial, how deep the
distress, how great the affliction, [God] will never desert us. He never has, and He never
will. . . . We have made Him our friend, by obeying His gospel; and He will stand by us. . . .
We shall emerge from all [our] trials and difficulties the better and purer for them, if we
only trust in our God and keep His commandments.”

We can arise as women of God when we choose to trust Him and keep His commandments.
This reassuring song, “Come unto Him,” speaks for you and for me.

I wander through the still of night,
When solitude is ev’rywhere—
Alone, beneath the starry light,
And yet I know that God is there.
I kneel upon the grass and pray;
An answer comes without a voice.
It takes my burden all away
And makes my aching heart rejoice.
It matters not what may befall,
What threat’ning hand hangs over me;
He is my rampart through it all,
My refuge from mine enemy.
Come unto him all ye depressed,
Ye erring souls whose eyes are dim,
Ye weary ones who long for rest.
Come unto him! Come unto him!

Choose you this day whom ye will serve. As for me, I will serve the One who keeps His
promises and has never left me alone.
 
By Sharon Larson-  BYU Women's Conference.  2000

Here is the link I promised.  
http://www.byutv.org/watch/72fca9a6-08fe-4f9a-8189-8070a8ac9842/byu-womens-conference-sharon-g-larsen-2000

Temples

I have had conversations with friends about our temples.  Like how are they different from our chapels and why do we go there?  I love talking about temples.  The feelings that I get while attending or even thinking about temples is one of pure peace and love.  The church has put out a wonderful video that helps explain the differences between our Sunday meeting houses of worship and our temples.  And you can see inside a few of our temples. 

We profess to the world that we are family oriented.  What is more pro-family then to believe we will be together forever as a family?  We believe that Heavenly Father sent us down to earth in families so why wouldn't we return that way?  We believe that families should be together forever.  United and bound with each person that is born into that family and never to be separated after death.  Both my parents have passed away and I know I will see them again.  And I will be with them again because they were married in the temple and sealed for time and all eternity.  Mike and I have been married in the temple and sealed for time and all eternity too.  So maybe think of it like a chain of links all hooked together forever. 

Enjoy the video.

 
 I add my witness that these are sacred buildings that have been decided to our Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.  Please if you have any questions please leave me a comment or seek out missionaries in your own area.  You can go to www.mormon.org  and they have people on there with whom you can chat with.