Crooked horizon! I was trying to kayak at the time. 🙂
Oh I am a lonely painter
I live in a box of paints
I’m frightened by the devil
And I’m drawn to those ones that ain’t afraid
I remember that time that you told me, you said
“Love is touching souls”
Surely you touched mine ’cause
Part of you pours out of me
In these lines from time to time
~ Joni Mitchell, A Case of You (one of my all-time favourites)
You might have guessed, but aside from the wild blueberry pie (note that the “wild” is the important part – tiny and flavourful and only found in exactly this season), I had a great weekend. Although it was very hot, the key to the great weekend was in part that I created something as I would have as a child. I did not think about it very much.
One thing I have struggled with in the last few years is following through on ideas that I have. This has been obvious from my track record of making. To some extent changing one’s mind is perfectly reasonable – ideas often shower themselves on one, and only a few have staying power – but I have been particularly unwilling to make the first cut or commit something to paper. Part of the problem has been my complete denial of how busy my life is relative to my natural energy levels, and therefore how much energy I truly have to devote to making, but another part has been a second-guessing; a doubt; a waiting for the perfect approach to appear. Perhaps I was just looking for a reason to be wrong. This past weekend I just picked up the needles and went for it.
Why did this happen? I suspect it was the “sweet doing nothing” that I undertook last week. I’ve always known in running that it’s much more effective to run hard and then treat the rest phase as equally important. Ellie reminded me of this again last week – thank you, Ellie! I’m now quite convinced that that is also true of everything else. I only wonder why I was so slow to figure this out.

Early morning knitting in bed. Why not?
Cottage breakfast – coffee and wonky knitting!
I started working on a knitted hat because it was small and portable, which is important with travel. On Friday, before leaving for the cottage, I suddenly had the thought that I would like to knit pine trees using three shades of green. The problem is that I wanted to knit them side by side, which is not something that really works with the way that one knits! This is why people use colours in stripes, which is easy from a technical point of view as you just knit with the same colour from one side to the other and then switch to another colour at the beginning of another row. Alternately, knitters knit in fair isle or stranded methods, which are particularly clever. Good fairisle mixes colours in subsequent rows in a way that produces designs that look beautiful without being complicated to knit, as typically only two colours are worked in one row and the yarn is carried over only a few stitches. One can use the intarsia technique to “solve” my problem, which I did, but it would have been better in this case to knit the hat flat. Basically, I did everything in a silly way. And the funny thing is that I started knitting the trees and with the first row of the greens I realized how stupid the method was that I was using. I could have at that point switched to a different method – knitting sideways, or knitting flat and seaming later – but something told me to just keep going with it in the inefficient way. I wanted to feel the process with my hands and also to do something that I would not normally do, which is finish something spontaneously. I realized subsequently that a nice way to do the trees would be to use two shades of green in a given row, e.g., in fair isle knitting, giving the trees added texture at the same time. Maybe the next time! But in short: it’s fine to make things messy and go for messy with intention. While I was doing it I was thinking about all of the clever knitters who came up with nice work arounds to common problems, realizing that someone had to do what I was doing at some point in order to motivate the finding of a better way…
Likewise, I didn’t think much about the design elements. Dagmar pointed out to me that the perspective with the trees and the horizon could be better, and the trees could have different shapes, to render them more realistic, which are both facts. At the time, however, I was making it up as I went along, which meant that I wasn’t really thinking of the whole thing as a picture to fit together. As I mentioned to her, I was particularly pleased with the unexpected effect that the birds seem to make when the hat is actually on a three-dimensional head – they seem to swirl and fly the way they would in real life. I know this will make me happy. I could treat this hat as a study and make a series of different ones, improving the perspective and trees and sunset, the way that a painter would do a series of studies of the same subject, working out the perspective, but I won’t, at least for now. (And not only because I am already trying to put together that “trout” hat I have been talking about forever! I simply must.)
I am inspired to knit trout, and not only because I spent some time staring at this charming map of the lake, including the fish species to be found, the aquatic vegetation, the timber and the density thereof!
The main reason that I won’t redo anything is that I really like the way this project made me feel – as though I was engaging spontaneously with the feeling that I had that I wanted to record, exactly as it was, the lovely weekend and joyful celebration of family summer vacation, which happened to fall on a national holiday. My mom and her husband are healthy and in good shape, but I am aware that they are in their seventies and I am approaching my fifties, and things won’t always be the same. My step-father, the sailor, can still teach me about all things boats and my mom is still the vibrant antiques hunter, textile creator and gardener-creative cook. I think I have truly learned by this point in life – as hopefully we all do – how to occasionally actually walk the walk and live in this moment, because this moment is often pretty great.
Not that I’m trying to be too sincere or sappy….I have been accused of that at times, but if it relieves the sap I will tell you that as I took a photo of my family over their Canada Day dinner I yelled, “Smile! You are only half as old as Canada!” My mom was not pleased (although a fully true statement!) with the effect of semi-spitting out her drink, but the photo is a classic! Not sappy at all. (My mother’s favourite photo of me is on the cottage wall, in which it is snowing and I am wearing a parka with a giant fur hood framing my face. We’re just odd. What can I say?)
So the pain of knitting this hat is what is happening in the finishing stages, but even the finishing stages are giving me more joy than they should. Here it is, half-finished on the inside. After I bathe it it should look a bit smoother. I am definitely not recommending that you ever make something using this particular child-pasting-macaroni-to-paper-in-tree-shape technique, but then again if it floats your boat, do!
One thing I did like as I was making this was the harmony of the colours, including the café au lait stripe that is the ground on which the trees sit. I was momentarily worried that I was turning this into a desert environment, without including the lake, but again, maybe next time. Hopefully the Canada geese render the place a bit more recognizable.
This is the inside of the part that I have sewn the ends in on…As Ceci offered, kindly, it should be warm!
This is the part I have yet to weave…Oy! But less than half. I’m a glass is half full type.
And yes, I still have a solar Santa on my windowsill.
In the limit, this has provided me with a bit of a road map (of what not to do) as I undertake my sweater paintings to come. I have realized of late that I really don’t need any more basic sweaters, so the only thing I really want to knit is sweater paintings in my own experimental style for a while. I think this is a healthy, creative phase.
I also need to do some sewing, as I need a new dress.
Do you also enjoy this freestyle, creating like a child? Or do you have to go back and correct it or redo? I think there is a real argument for sticking with the same thing and redoing, toiling repeatedly, etc., etc. I remember a friend (you may know who you are!) commenting on someone else’s blog about how one of the mistakes that many seamstresses make is probably of not sticking with something long enough until they get it right – or better – because it’s through the not giving up and trying things again that we learn how to get things right. I wholeheartedly agreed (the perfectionist in me would!).
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