How green is your pasture

As you graze has questions about your spirituality been raised

Are your contemplating what your purpose is

Fellowship with others under a Shepherd is our calling

The Church is the body of Christ who is our Shepherd

Are you running from His promptings

Have excuses become mantras in your life

Have you missed the God ordained leadership in your life

Set your paths on a greener pasture

Visit some local churches

Allow God to use you at one of them

Make it your home

Allow God to guide you through the pastor

His promptings are on one accord with God

Your perspective will greatly increase

Peace and posture will abide in Him

Now nestle into this pasture

Be revived by the pastor

Amass the grace that is being bestowed upon you

Thank you and Amen

beautifleye

My tears burn as I think about you

I don’t cry

The anthem etched in my broken heart

I didn’t think I asked for too much

Apparently I was incorrect

Expectations set too high once again

I’m glad I experienced this

I learned so much about me

I don’t want to let go for obvious reasons

I want to learn more about me

Is that selfish

Yet I hear God saying what about ME

The intimacy you desire was created by ME

My tears envelope my face

As I would like your hands

Prepping me for as kiss on the forehead

I always lose

Simple girls always lose

Scarred for life by the wrong men

Desperate must be emblazoned in my corneas

My lips speak life unto others

Prayerfully one day

Your will, will be infused into my soul

beautifleye

His

His purpose is love

I believed this to be his purpose

I ran after it hard

My energy was expended in the wrong direction

None of this went the way I’d expected

I’ve grown closer to YOU

Yet I wanted to be close to you

The way you envisioned me was inconsistent with my worth

I know He respects me

Apparently you could care less about me

It’s about a handbook you’ve developed from failed relationships

Everything became a duty

When all I needed was for you to enjoy me

So busy making sure you’re the best ever

You completely missed the mark with me

I’ve explained that I was different

Yet I was lumped in the pile with the others

I tried to meet your needs

I guess that’s why you rejected my solution

Stifled by your response

You’ve been unresponsive

Stop trying to gift compete

Meet me where I am

Love me

Hold me

Allow HIM to mold us

Let’s chase our first

Love

…together

beautifleye

All I ever

All I ever wanted was to be loved

I guess the gift of marriage won’t be experienced by me

I wanted to break the chains of pain in my generation

But the pain manifested in my life

Feelings topsy turvy

So scared to open up

Most men I’ve shut up

With words that cut so deep

The piranha is deadly

The dolphin is inspirational

Depending on how you treat me

This fish will continuously swim her own way

Yes I know it’s bad

My armor has been cracked

The beginning of my healing happened several months ago

Baby steps have been made

With each drop of ink in this pen

My thoughts bleed on this page

Flowing like the Potomac

Dirty but fascinating

Infested by a defecating prognosis

Forbidden but needed

Vast and costly

A mess in the need of cleansing

Release me please

beautifleye

Why?

You see deep into my soul

You’ve seeped into my very core

Every essence of me screams out

How come we can’t be on one accord

You’ve listened to the story that was never told

The inflections in my voice alerted you to be attuned to my moods

You have led me through my own thoughts

Brought clarity to hopeless dreams that I once sought

How is it that we have never been on the same page in my book

In retrospect you’ve nurtured my soul to grow

Many times just knowing you were in my corner

Allowed me to be bolder

In my pursuits in life

At times my goals seemed aloof

In the proper perspective

You’ve allowed me to shine from within

A cheerleader to the end

In whatever mood I’m in you find a way to get in

To reach the core little girl inside

Because of you she’s grown into a mature woman

Someone who is ready to bloom into her due season

I knew there was a reason you hit me up again

Fireworks began the friendship

Seemingly fizzling on my side

Expectations unmet

Physical sights unset

But when you get down to it

You’ve been there through all my mess

Trials and tests you stood there with no regrets

I was wondering why you hadn’t left

Perhaps your goals were different from the rest

Different you seemed on the onset

But the same on the surface

So I tossed you into the lower classes

All along you were the one waiting for me to see

The person you longed for me to be

All I could see was the broken pieces all around me

Unable to pick up and move forward in positivity

Can it be that your season has come to an end

Our friendship will always be in a stagnant frame of life

Unable to move forward together

I strain to remove you from my pain

I try to make you responsible for it all

But you stepped into shoes that were filled with bitter flaws

Now it’s time to set the course

Are you ready for the main course

beautifleye

THANK YOU

For ignoring me

Lying to me

Laughing at me

Shaming me

Embarassing me

Harassing me

Disrespecting me

…I wouldn’t be the woman I am today

THANK YOU

For misleading me

Stringing me along

Hit or miss phone calls

Open ended text messages

Long pauses in conversation

Not looking me in the eye

THANK YOU

For forcing me to grow

As I stretched as an individual I learned it was because of my experiences with you

That I’m still standing

Strong enough to combat negativity with prayer

Able to embrace disappointment with grace

Walk with my head held high and leave no trace of YOU

As YOU shine through every word, look, and feeling

THANK YOU

My mind was reeling

Now unto me YOU’RE revealing

The mysteries that confounded me

It’s not despicable me

It’s beautiful me

It’s not pitiful you

It’s inspirational you

It’s not jealous woman

Its uplifting woman of God

So thanks to you

I’ve run straight to YOU

beautifleye ’12