Tag: personal-growth

U.S war on Iran

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The U.S. war with Iran is seen by many as a serious mistake. Many people around the world believed this from the very beginning, and now there are signs that even the U.S. is becoming aware of the consequences.

Some people feel that electing Donald Trump as President was a mistake. Today, there is significant global criticism of his leadership, especially regarding the Iran conflict.There is also a widespread public perception among some groups that he shows traits associated with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, although such claims are debated and require professional evaluation.

Now, you can asses Mr.Trump based on diagnostic criteria for Narcisstic personality disorder.SCID-5-PD Questions:

1. Grandiosity.

Do you often feel that you are more important or special than others?.Do others recognize your abilities as much as you think they should?.

2. Need for Admiration.

Do you often seek praise or recognition from others?.How do you feel when people don’t appreciate you?.

3. Fantasies of Success or Power.

Do you frequently imagine being highly successful, powerful, or admired?.How often do these thoughts occupy your mind?.

4. Sense of Uniqueness.

Do you feel that you are different from or superior to most people?.Do you believe only certain “high-status” people can truly understand you?.

5. Entitlement.

Do you expect special treatment from others?.How do you react if things don’t go your way?.

6. Interpersonal Exploitation.

Have you ever used others to achieve your goals?.Do you feel comfortable asking for favors without returning them?.

7. Lack of Empathy

Do you find it difficult to understand other people’s feelings?.How do you respond when someone shares emotional pain with you?.

8. EnvyDo you often feel envious of others?.

Do you think others are jealous of you?.

9. Arrogant Behaviors.

Do people describe you as arrogant or proud?.How do you usually behave in social or group settings?.

Desired life

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Why Many People Struggle to Live the Life They Truly Want?

Many people find it difficult to live the life they truly desire for several interconnected reasons.

  1. Lack of Clarity About Their Ideal Life

First, people often do not have a clear vision of what their ideal or desired life actually looks like. If we cannot clearly define our goals, values, or the kind of life we want, it becomes difficult to make decisions that align with them. Clarity is essential for meaningful progress.

This lack of clarity is often shaped by social conditioning—moral expectations, cultural norms, family influence, education, and authority figures. Over time, these external pressures can blur our authentic desires.

  1. Fear of Leaving the Comfort Zone

Even when people know what they want, they often remain within their comfort zone. Change can feel risky, and many fear failure, uncertainty, judgment, or making the wrong choice. These fears lead to hesitation, self-doubt, overthinking, and procrastination.

Fear does not arise suddenly; it develops from past experiences. From childhood onward, we seek approval from parents, teachers, and other influential figures. The mind learns to avoid rejection, pain, or risk by forming protective psychological patterns. While these patterns are intended to keep us safe, they can also limit growth and block personal fulfillment.

  1. The Power of Psychological Patterns

Once established, patterns become difficult to break. Humans develop cognitive patterns (how we think), emotional patterns (how we feel and react), and behavioral patterns (how we act). These patterns are unique to each individual and shaped by personal experiences, beliefs, identity, culture, religion, and values. Many of them operate unconsciously.

In addition to personal patterns, there are also universal human mental patterns that influence how we think, feel, dream, and behave.

People often repeat the same life patterns without realizing it, such as:

Repeating unhealthy relationship dynamics

Engaging in self-sabotaging behavior

Reacting emotionally in similar ways across different situations.

These patterns usually stem from unconscious fears, emotional wounds, and unmet needs. Because they operate below the level of awareness, people may interpret them as fate, coincidence, or destiny rather than recognizing them as psychological scripts guiding their choices.

  1. Living in Defensive Mode

Much of human behavior operates in a defensive mode. Our minds use various defense mechanisms to protect us from emotional discomfort—often without our awareness.

For example:

Some people use humour to diffuse tension during crises. This is considered a healthy and mature defense mechanism.

Others may respond with physical symptoms (such as fainting or dizziness), unconsciously shifting attention away from the emotional issue. This response can be less adaptive and burdensome to others.

Some people deny or avoid difficult realities altogether.

Often, we become victims of our own unconscious defense mechanisms, which prevents honest self-reflection and personal growth.

  1. Self-Awareness and the Johari Window

Our ability to understand ourselves and others—including our communication patterns and emotional awareness—depends on our position within the four quadrants of the Johari Window, a model that explains self-awareness.

The Four Quadrants of the Johari Window

  1. Open Area (Arena)
    Known to you and known to others
    Examples: your name, profession, voice.
  2. Blind Area (Blind Spot)
    Unknown to you but known to others
    Examples: interrupting habits, appearing rude unintentionally, nervous body language.
  3. Hidden Area (Façade)
    Known to you but hidden from others
    Examples: private fears, personal struggles, secrets.
  4. Unknown Area
    Unknown to you and unknown to others
    Examples: hidden talents, deep fears, unexplored potential.

If a person primarily operates within the Blind or Unknown areas, it becomes difficult to create a realistic life plan or make conscious, aligned decisions.

We are slaves of our own belief system, our own unconscious patterns, defense mechanisms, our own conditioning…dogma, fears, habits… We are in our own mental prisons…And mental prisons can be more powerful than physical ones — because they travel with us everywhere.

Conclusion

Many people feel stuck not because they lack ability or intelligence, but because of cognitive conditioning, unconscious patterns, fear, defense mechanisms, and limited self-awareness. Without understanding these inner forces, it becomes difficult to design and live a meaningful, authentic life.

Greater self-awareness, emotional insight, and conscious reflection are essential to breaking unhealthy patterns and moving toward the life one truly wants.

With gratitude to Imke Tenhaeff.

Truth!

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Truth, is Disgusting!

In the modern world, truth—once considered a virtue—has increasingly become uncomfortable, unwelcome, and even repulsive. People often claim to value honesty, yet react with hostility when confronted with realities that challenge their beliefs, emotions, or social image. Truth today is not rejected because it is false, but because it is inconvenient. In this sense, truth has become “disgusting” to many, not in its nature, but in how it disrupts carefully maintained illusions.

This discomfort with truth feeds directly into the widespread hypocrisy that defines much of society. We publicly preach morality, loyalty, tolerance, and justice, while privately practicing contradiction. Social media and public discourse are filled with performances of virtue rather than genuine ethical commitment. People often defend ideals not because they believe in them deeply, but because those ideals offer social acceptance and protection from criticism. As a result, hypocrisy is no longer an exception; it has become the operating mode of society.

Prejudice further deepens this crisis. Topics such as love, sex, nation, and religion—areas that require empathy and openness—are instead governed by rigid judgments. Love is controlled by social approval, sex by shame, nation by blind loyalty, and religion by inherited fear. Individuals are often condemned not for harming others, but for deviating from socially approved norms. These prejudices limit honest dialogue and prevent people from understanding one another as complex human beings.

One visible outcome of this moral confusion is the increasing number of fake relationships. Many connections today are built on convenience, status, fear of loneliness, or social validation rather than emotional depth. Relationships are maintained for appearance rather than authenticity. Commitment is simulated, affection is conditional, and honesty is sacrificed to avoid discomfort. As a result, relationships may survive publicly while collapsing privately.

Tolerance within relationships—especially marital relationships—has also declined. Instead of patience, communication, and mutual growth, many partnerships are marked by ego, control, and unrealistic expectations. Small disagreements escalate quickly, and forgiveness is replaced by blame. Rather than understanding differences, partners often seek dominance or emotional escape, weakening the very foundation of long-term commitment.

At the same time, society’s willingness to explore the depth of issues and search for truth is steadily reducing. Quick opinions replace thoughtful inquiry. Headlines replace understanding. People prefer answers that confirm what they already believe rather than questions that challenge them. The pursuit of truth requires effort, humility, and discomfort—qualities increasingly avoided in a culture that values speed, certainty, and emotional safety.

One of the most damaging consequences of this environment is the unhealthy attitude toward sex. Although sex is a natural biological function, it remains surrounded by denial, shame, and contradiction. Society simultaneously commercializes sex and condemns open discussion about it. This refusal to accept sexuality as normal contributes to widespread sexual frustration, repression, and psychological imbalance. When healthy expression and education are suppressed, perversion and distorted behaviors often emerge in their place.

In conclusion, the crisis we face is not merely social, but deeply human. A society that fears truth, practices hypocrisy, nurtures prejudice, and avoids honest self-examination cannot sustain genuine relationships or emotional well-being. Only by restoring honesty, tolerance, curiosity, and acceptance—especially around uncomfortable truths—can individuals and societies move toward authenticity and psychological health. The challenge is not to change the world overnight, but to begin by facing truth without fear.

Dr. Nelson Kattikat Joseph

Striving for Love

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Striving for love

“And in the end, I believe that we don’t need to do anything to be loved. Those who love us see us with their hearts. And those who don’t want to love us will never be satisfied with all our efforts.” — Frida Kahlo

Modern life quietly teaches us a dangerous lesson: that love must be earned. We learn to polish ourselves—becoming prettier, smarter, calmer, or more successful—in the hope that one day we will finally be “enough.” This belief drives much of our emotional exhaustion. Frida Kahlo’s words challenge this deeply ingrained assumption and point toward a more liberating truth: love is not a reward for perfection; it is a recognition of being.

The Psychology of Conditional Love

From a psychological perspective, the urge to earn love often stems from conditional attachment formed early in life. When affection is tied to performance—good behavior, achievement, or compliance—the mind internalizes the belief that worth depends on approval. As adults, this pattern appears in relationships where people over-adapt: changing their appearance, suppressing opinions, or abandoning personal needs to keep connection intact.

Consider a romantic relationship in which one partner constantly reshapes themselves to be accepted. Despite their effort, the relationship feels fragile, tense, and conditional. This reflects a core psychological truth: those who do not wish to love us will never be satisfied, no matter how much we give. The dissatisfaction does not arise from our inadequacy, but from the absence of genuine acceptance in the other.

Seeing with the Heart

Contrast this with the way a parent looks at a child. A child may be clumsy, make repeated mistakes, or fall short by objective standards, yet the parent often sees intelligence, promise, and beauty far beyond what is immediately visible. This is a powerful example of unconditional positive regard, a concept introduced by psychologist Carl Rogers. Love here is not based on performance, but on presence.

Philosophically, this aligns with Martin Buber’s idea of I–Thou relationships—connections in which the other is encountered as a whole being rather than an object to be evaluated. When we are loved in this way, we are seen not for what we achieve, but for who we are. This is what Kahlo means by being seen with the heart.

Imperfection as Truth, Not Flaw

Friendships offer another everyday illustration. A close friend may cherish your forgetfulness, your intensity, or your awkward humor—qualities you might try to hide elsewhere. To them, these are not flaws but expressions of authenticity. Meanwhile, someone who dislikes you may criticize even your strengths. This contrast reveals a crucial insight: love alters perception, not effort.

Leaving imperfections alone does not mean refusing growth. Psychology distinguishes between growth driven by self-respect and change driven by fear. Improving communication for inner peace is healthy; reshaping your personality to avoid abandonment is not. True development arises from self-acceptance, not self-erasure.

Existential philosophy reminds us that authenticity requires embracing incompleteness. To be human is to be unfinished. When we attempt to erase every flaw, we lose not only our uniqueness, but also the very qualities that make genuine connection possible.

Imperfections as a Filter for Love

Imperfections serve a quiet but powerful purpose: they act as a filter. They reveal who can stay present with us when we are tired, imperfect, and uncertain. People who truly value us remain, not because we are flawless, but because we are real. Those who demand constant perfection were never offering love, only approval.

Love as Recognition, Not Achievement

In the end, Kahlo’s insight brings us back to a simple and often forgotten truth: love is not something we earn through endless self-polishing; it arises naturally where there is genuine connection. When we stop striving to be lovable and allow ourselves to be seen, we discover that those who truly matter have already been looking at us with their hearts.

Perhaps that is the deepest freedom of all—to remain imperfect and still be loved.

IMTM

IM International Foundation’

Key to Success

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Key to Success

Human behavior is shaped less by isolated moments and more by enduring patterns of fear, the urge for social approval, motivation, decision-making, and self-regulation that operate largely beneath conscious awareness. Psychological research consistently demonstrates that many barriers people attribute to external circumstances are, in reality, internal processes rooted in cognition, emotion, and social influence.

Fear must be overcome for performance to emerge. Individuals need to express their skills or talents—however small they may seem—whenever possible and whenever opportunities arise. If Julia Roberts had never expressed her talent in acting, or if Yesudas had never showcased his ability to sing, they would have remained ordinary, unknown individuals rather than celebrated figures. Talent must be expressed to be recognized.

There is a simple equation for success: Success = Performance × Talent. If performance (expression) is zero, success becomes zero—no matter how great the talent is. Talent may be a one followed by endless zeros, but without performance, it has no value.

Fear rarely prevents failure itself; instead, it prevents individuals from engaging with opportunities that involve uncertainty. From a psychological standpoint, fear activates avoidance behavior through the amygdala’s threat-detection system. Studies on loss aversion and fear of failure show that people tend to overestimate negative outcomes, causing them to withdraw before action is taken. In everyday life, this is evident when individuals avoid applying for promotions, initiating relationships, or pursuing further education—not due to incapacity, but because fear narrows perceived possibilities.

Human capacity is broad but finite. Research on cognitive load and self-regulation confirms that pursuing too many goals simultaneously leads to decision fatigue and reduced performance. Prioritization, therefore, is not a limitation but a strategic necessity. A simple illustration clarifies this principle. Imagine two individuals searching for water in unfamiliar land. One digs persistently in a single spot, while the other keeps shifting locations, digging shallow holes each time. By evening, the first finds water; the second, despite much effort, finds none. Focus and persistence are essential components of success.

Social approval, while comforting, can inhibit authenticity. In the age of social media, many individuals measure self-worth through likes and validation, unconsciously assessing their conformity to social standards. This behavior often reflects insecurity and a strong urge for social recognition. Research on conformity shows that widespread agreement can suppress independent thinking. When choices receive universal approval, they may reflect social expectations rather than personal conviction. Psychological autonomy emerges when individuals tolerate disapproval in pursuit of values-aligned decisions.

Personal growth also requires testing one’s boundaries. According to theories of self-efficacy, confidence develops through mastery experiences that stretch perceived limits—commonly referred to as stepping outside the comfort zone. Individuals who avoid challenges remain constrained by their assumptions, whereas those who test boundaries recalibrate what they believe is possible.

Not all communication requires engagement. Research on emotional regulation and conflict management suggests that restraint can be an adaptive response. In many situations, choosing not to respond prevents escalation and conserves psychological resources, particularly when interactions are driven by provocation rather than resolution.

Procrastination is often justified by waiting for ideal conditions. Temporal motivation theory explains that perceived future rewards lose motivational power over time. The belief in a “right time” often masks fear or indecision. Action, even when imperfect, generates momentum and clarity that waiting cannot provide.

Long-term outcomes are shaped by small, repeated choices. Behavioral economics and habit research demonstrate that incremental decisions compound over time, influencing health, career trajectories, and relationships. Daily routines, rather than dramatic single events, are the strongest predictors of future outcomes. Consider a simple example: brushing one’s teeth daily for decades maintains hygiene, yet neglecting it for even a single day can result in discomfort and odor. Consistency is essential.

Ultimately, psychological research converges on a central insight: life satisfaction is not achieved through the absence of fear, but through engagement despite it. Living with passion involves aligning actions with values, embracing uncertainty, and accepting that growth requires both courage and consistency. Fear may remain present, but it no longer governs behavior.

Dr. Kattikat
IM International Foundation
(I Mind the Mind)

Relationship

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Relationships as Mirrors

Relationships function as mirrors because they place us in situations where our internal world meets another’s autonomy. In doing so, they reveal patterns, insecurities, and unmet needs that often remain invisible in isolation. Alone, the psyche can maintain its self-image; in relationship, that image is tested.

  1. Psychology: Why Relationships Trigger Us

a. Attachment Theory (Bowlby, Ainsworth)Q Early attachment experiences shape our expectations of closeness, safety, and abandonment. Romantic and close relationships unconsciously reactivate these early patterns.

  • A small delay in response may trigger disproportionate anxiety, not because of the delay itself, but because it resonates with an earlier experience of emotional unavailability.
  • The emotional intensity is not about the present moment alone; it is the echo of the past.

b. Projection and Shadow (Freud, Jung) Psychology recognizes that we often project disowned parts of ourselves onto others.

  • Traits we criticize or idealize in others frequently correspond to aspects we have rejected, suppressed, or failed to integrate.
  • Jung’s concept of the shadow explains why certain behaviors provoke strong reactions—they touch something unresolved within us.

Thus, the relationship does not create the wound; it illuminates it.
c. Emotional Regulation and the Nervous System. Modern neuroscience shows that strong emotional reactions are linked to threat detection in the nervous system.

  • When a partner’s behavior feels threatening, the body reacts before the mind interprets.
  • The magnitude of the reaction signals not the severity of the event, but the vulnerability of the internal system.

Intensity, therefore, is diagnostic.

  1. Philosophy: The Inner Turn

a. Stoicism: The Event vs. the Judgment.Epictetus taught that it is not events themselves that disturb us, but our judgments about them.

  • Another person’s behavior is neutral until it collides with our expectations, attachments, and interpretations.
  • Growth lies in examining the inner judgment, not in attempting to control the external person.

b. Existential Philosophy: Responsibility for Meaning. Existential thinkers such as Sartre emphasized that meaning arises from interpretation, not circumstance.

  • While others act freely, our emotional response is where our freedom lies.
  • Blaming the other avoids responsibility for our own inner life.

c. Eastern Philosophy: The Illusion of the Separate Self. Advaita Vedanta and Buddhism suggest that suffering arises from identification with a rigid self-concept.

  • When another challenges this self-image, emotional pain surfaces.
  • Relationships expose where the ego is defended, fragile, or attached.

From this view, relationship becomes a spiritual practice—not a comfort zone.

  1. Why Correction Fails and Understanding Works

Attempting to “fix” the other person assumes that peace lies outside us. Psychology and philosophy converge in rejecting this assumption.

  • External correction may temporarily reduce discomfort, but it does not address the internal trigger.
  • Understanding why a behavior carries emotional weight transforms reaction into insight.

This shift marks maturity: from reactivity to inquiry.

  1. Growth as Self-Inquiry

True relational growth occurs when we ask:

  • What expectation of mine is being violated?
  • What fear is being activated?
  • *What old story is replaying itself here?

In this sense, relationships are not obstacles to inner peace; they are precision instruments for self-knowledge.

Conclusion

Relationships mirror us because they engage us where we are least defended. The intensity of emotional reactions is not evidence of the other’s wrongdoing but of our own inner landscape asking to be seen. Growth, therefore, is not achieved through correction, control, or withdrawal, but through understanding—an inward movement that transforms relationships from battlegrounds into classrooms.

Handle Negativity

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How can we Handle Negativity

Methods to “go into negativity” without suppressing or fighting it.

Why We Don’t Just Force Positivity.

If you try to say: “I should not think negatively, I must be positive,”then the negativity goes underground. It hides, then returns stronger.

So the goal is to look at negativity with awareness, not to push it away.

4 Practical Methods

  1. Label the Feeling Without Judging

When a negative emotion arises (anger, jealousy, fear, resentment, hurt), simply name it:

“This is sadness.”

“This is jealousy.”

“This is insecurity.”

“This is anger.”

No story, no blame. Just identify:

Feeling → Name it→ Stay with it.
Naming moves you from being the emotion to observing the emotion.

  1. Locate the Sensation in the Body

Every negative emotion lives somewhere physically:

Anger → Heat in the head/chest

Anxiety → Tightness in the stomach

Hurt → Pain in the chest area

Ask: “Where is it in my body?”

Then just feel the sensation, like you are watching it from the outside.
Don’t try to change it.
Don’t try to fix it.
Just witness it.When you look directly, feeling starts dissolving.

  1. Ask the Key Question

After observing the emotion, gently ask:“Is this emotion protecting me, or repeating an old pattern?”

Most negativity is a habit, not a response to the present moment.

When you see that:

“Ah, this anger is old”

“This fear is conditioned”

“This jealousy is insecurity, not reality”

…the emotion loses power.

It disappears not because you forced it,
but because you understood it.

  1. Replace Story with Reality

Negativity usually comes from the mind’s story, not the situation.

Ask:“What is really happening right now?”
Not the question like: “What did they mean?”
“What might happen?”
“What if…?”

Reality is usually simple.
The story is what hurts.

When the story drops → the negativity drops → natural peace remains.

Example

A friend ignored your message, that lead to → Negative thought.The story you have created:
“Maybe they don’t respect me.”

Method:

  1. Label the core emotion and your story→ “This is insecurity.”
  2. Body → “Tightness in chest.”
  3. Question : “Is this emotion protecting me or repeating an old pattern?”
  4. Reality → “They may simply be busy.”

The negativity softens and then dissolves.

What remains?
Not excitement. Not forced happiness.
Just ease. Quietness. Positivity that comes on its own.

Important Insight:
We don’t “create positivity.”
We remove the clouds (negativity).
The sky (positivity) was always there.

Daily Practice Routine (5 minutes)

  1. Sit quietly.
  2. Recall any negative feeling from the day.
  3. Do following:

Name it

Feel it in the body

Ask the question (eg.Is this emotion protecting me?)

Drop the story / ( perception of reality)

  1. End with a slow breath and relax.

Do this every day — negativity will start disappearing on its own.

(IMTM) I Mind The Mind, free online counselling service. If you feel life is heavy, Reach out:

Email : nelsonkattikat@gmail.com

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Procastination

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The Mental problem of “Putting Things Off” (Procrastination)

By Dr. Nelson Kattikat

Do you often delay or postpone tasks you need to do? Frequently, do you choose temporary comfort or peace over completing necessary tasks, opting for other activities instead?👉 Examples:Scrolling through your phone instead of starting an important project.Binge-watching an entire series instead of cleaning your room.Telling yourself, “I’ll do it later,” when household chores pile up.Psychologists explain this mental problem not as laziness but as an emotional regulation strategy. That is, we avoid tasks that trigger discomfort—fear of failure, anxiety, boredom, self-doubt—by justifying procrastination. We evade work to escape difficult emotions.For years, I believed my procrastination was purely a motivational problem. I labeled myself as lazy or incompetent and acted accordingly. Later, I realized it wasn’t a lack of ability but a symptom of childhood trauma.Why Does Childhood Trauma Manifest as Procrastination?Many people grow up with invisible childhood wounds. Trauma isn’t always extreme shocking events—it can stem from emotional neglect, constant criticism, unrealistic expectations, or environments where love felt conditional.These experiences shape our self-perception, abilities, and sense of worth, creating negative mental patterns. Procrastination is one of the most common psychological problem linked to these struggles.A 2017 Frontiers in Psychology study found that childhood trauma is strongly associated with emotional regulation difficulties, which contribute to procrastination.Neuroscience research shows trauma alters the amygdala and prefrontal cortex (brain regions responsible for decision-making, impulse control, and planning). This means trauma survivors may struggle with tasks and deadlines—not because they’re weak, but because their brain is wired for survival mode.Psychologists Sirois & Pychyl (2013) describe procrastination as “mood repair”—avoiding tasks that trigger anxiety, fear of failure, or self-doubt. This is common in those with critical or neglectful parenting histories.How Trauma Creates Procrastination:1. Fear of FailureChildren raised with constant criticism or comparison develop a belief: “I’ll never be good enough.” As adults, even starting a task feels threatening—because completing it feels like an evaluation that might confirm their inadequacy.2. PerfectionismIf love and approval were tied to performance, they may adopt an “all or nothing” mindset: “Do it perfectly or don’t do it at all.” The pressure to be flawless leads to indefinite delays—because nothing ever feels “finished.”3. People-PleasingThose from conflict-heavy childhoods often prioritize others’ needs over their own goals. Avoiding their own tasks reduces tension, but this subconscious strategy creates a cycle of procrastination.4. Freeze ResponseTrauma keeps the nervous system in chronic stress. When overwhelmed, the body may “freeze” or avoid tasks—like an instinctive survival reflex (e.g., pulling your hand from fire).5. Low Self-WorthInternalized messages like “You can’t do it” or “You’re worthless” lead to self-sabotage. Even as adults, they delay or quit tasks—believing they don’t deserve success or can’t handle responsibility.The Turning PointI stopped asking, “What’s wrong with me?” and instead asked, “What happened to me?” That’s when real change began.I realized my procrastination wasn’t laziness—it was a trauma response. My nervous system wasn’t broken; it was protecting me the only way it knew how.A Simple Shift:Instead of self-criticism, I practiced self-compassion. I broke tasks into small steps, reminded myself “I am safe,” and accepted that “Done is better than perfect.”Most importantly, I addressed the root cause—relearning self-trust, setting boundaries, and reconnecting with my inner child in a positive way.The Result?I broke free from cycles of avoidance and guilt. Tasks became easier, I regained control, and finally found peace.If you’re stuck in this loop, remember: This isn’t a motivation problem, and you’re not lazy. It’s a survival pattern rooted in childhood experiences.When you uncover the “why” behind your procrastination, you won’t just get more done—you’ll reclaim your strength, confidence, and peace of mind.👉 IMTM (I Mind The Mind)If you or a friend are struggling mentally or feeling hopeless, reach out to us on WhatsApp. Completely free.+919495045230 (Dr. Nelson Kattikat)+91 62354 89007

You can asses your Relationships

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A Self-Check Tool — to help you evaluate whether you’re building relationships from your own inner strength or relying too much on others to make them “wonderful.”

🌿 “Inner Power in Relationships” — Self Check (10 Questions)

Rate yourself on a scale of 1 to 5
(1 = Never / 2 = Rarely / 3 = Sometimes / 4 = Often / 5 = Always)

🌱 Section A – Self-Awareness & Responsibility

  1. When conflict arises, I take time to understand my emotions before reacting.
  2. I can stay calm even when the other person is upset or distant.
  3. I don’t blame others entirely for how I feel in a relationship.

🌿 Section B – Emotional Independence

  1. I feel emotionally stable and secure even when I am alone or not receiving attention.
  2. My happiness does not completely depend on how someone else treats me.
  3. I can offer love, support, or care without expecting something back every time.

🌼 Section C – Authentic Presence

  1. I bring honesty, kindness, and presence into my relationships because that’s who I choose to be.
  2. I don’t try to change people so they behave the way I want — I focus on how I respond.
  3. I value being my best self in relationships more than being “loved” or “approved.”

🌻 Section D – Inner Fulfillment

  1. I feel whole and worthy as a person, whether single or in a relationship.

💡 Scoring Guide

40–50: You are likely approaching relationships from a strong inner foundation. You bring emotional maturity and self-awareness into your connections. This reflects you are the source of a good relationship.

25–39: You are aware but still developing some aspects of emotional independence. Reflect on which items scored lower — they show where you might be seeking fulfillment externally.

Below 25: You might often feel dependent on others for emotional balance. This can lead to stress or conflict. It’s a great opportunity to focus on personal growth, self-love, or even therapy/coaching if needed.

IMTM ( I Mind The Mind )

IMTM (I Mind The Mind, an online free counseling service)
If you are in severe stress, Please contact us for free online counselling.
Contact numbers for free online counseling:
7012895170
8281884696
7306900471
9495045230 (WhatsApp messages only)

  • “Together, we can build a beautiful society“

To join the IMTM whatsapp group as a member, contact the following admin:

  1. Dr. Nelson Kattikat – 9495045230 (WhatsApp only)
  2. Vrinda Sanker, Psychologist – 7012895170
    (Courtesy : Sadguru for his quote)
    Sadhguru — “You should have a wonderful relationship because of who you are, not because somebody else is wonderful”