What. the. fuck. its happening all over again, How I mean, we had the illusion of two kinda-good months… and were back to where we were,

My sleep patter is back to April 2020. Barely sleeping. Jolting awake. I call it “death sleep” its the same sleep that happened when my mom died.With Dad being un the hopistal and the Dr telling us that Dad was on his way out…was really rough- I guess it was SO close to a death, the closest Ive come to losing my Dad, and it was a shutty dress rehearsal showing how poorly I will do when that day actually comes. Life is so volitile, it been hard to concentrate on anything

Now, these insane ” starts” awake, are happening again- that and my stomach is a mess, I am beyond exhausted, business is shit because of so many appointments being cancelled from COVID.

I really hope this is just a dipped moment. Music saves the day though see great vinyl purchases, and good company now and again

I am so distracted I can’t even focus on ITKWD. Let alone think of anything creative to write. I really need things to change, Im wiped. Im burnt out, Im antsy, Im feeling so OFF…

A day at a time.