I sigh. All the time I sigh.
Everytime I open this blog to type something I just sigh and all I can think of are things a Negative Nancy would say.
Oohhhh, she would sigh and mutter as her knitting needles clacked together, ohhhh I did shout so at my kids today. They tried my patience and I did lose my temper with them.
Oh dearie me, she would say as she spooned out some honey from a jar and let it drizzle over some toast, I didn’t do half the things on my to-do list and did not pay half as much attention to my kids as I would have liked.
Cluck cluck, she would cluck to herself as she hanged out the washing at gone past midnight because the sky was starry and glorious sunshine was forecast for the following day and she didn’t want to waste a moment of it, I really ought to have sorted out the laundry like I meant to, and submitted my coursework last month, and why oh why did I waste my time on irrelevant things and not do what I meant to do!?
But there is Positive Posie and she is pretty positive, I have to say, if rather meek and soft-spoken.
Now, she would say something very different!
She would toss her golden curls (for it seems only those who are good and kind and sweet in the old novels have the glossy golden curls), turn her little nose to the air, and spread some fresh linen on a bed and she would say, not a cluck in sight, well, we got halfway through Charlotte’s Web this week and the little Halfling loved it. The littlest one listened really well for a three year old too and asked interesting questions. And little Sir was taught chess and plays it remarkably considering he has only had six games, and yes yes you have not played chess with him but he has had no shortage of aunties and uncles, grandparents and a father to play chess with him, as well as his happy and willing little sister. He has come along nicely in his maths this week and we had a wonderful weekend spotting various kinds of butterflies. They both played with their cousins on Monday and yes you nagged but they both got dressed and made their beds fairly quickly this morning!
I am a Negative Nancy though. I do not have the golden curls. I can happily (or miserably) sit downstairs after the kids have fallen asleep and for a good two hours (and longer) I can dissect each ‘terrible’ thing that happened that day and paint it to be even more terrible and a testimony to what an awful mother I am.
But at least I am self aware.
I know I am doing it, I don’t want to do it, I don’t know how to stop it, but writing about the good bits sure does take the edge of the negative bits!

