a blue burqa dangling from my trembling hand

~

episode 10

Lament For Long-Gone Col. Johnson

by rawclyde !

~

I try to report what is true

Read ‘tween the lines of stories I find

Look for photos that do not lie

Bumble & stumble around the distant war

~

From an easy chair thousands of miles away

My penetration is shallow indeed

Will peace get forged one way or another in that far away land

Does anyone in America know ~ Afghanistan?

~

My infinity machine doesn’t always work right

And flying saucers are so undependable

Every time I think I’ve landed on that nation’s sand

I end up in a ridiculous bubble ~ called Afghaneeland

~

I lost the most beautiful woman on the planet Earth

Col. Sheena Johnson, U.S. Army

In the mirage-brimming bubble of Afghaneeland

A blue burqa dangling from my trembling hand

!

Afghaneeland

by

rawclyde

!

text copyright clyde collins 2015

art

by

meshitup

https://www.daz3d.com/meshitup

~

Col. Johnson Wakes Up In Pluckame

wake up sleepy head 2

~~~

episode 2

by

rawclyde!

~~~

She carried on constant dialogue with

Saint Joan of Arizona, her best friend

Whom she had never met face to face but

Saint Joan was Sheena’s favorite spirituality

~

Colonel Sheena Johnson of the US Army

Begged Holy Jesus for salvation, Holy Mary for holy prayers

When she caught a wink of rest she woke up

Surrounded by God, His angels, and Afghan villagers

~

Her hair-splitting arrows, her death-begotten spear

Her footprints filled Taliban hearts with fear

For some holy reason she never missed nor was hit

Al Queda, so full of it, finally ducked out & split

~

Colonel Sheena Johnson of the US Army

Of the entire planet & the universe too

Held Islam like a coin in the palm of her hand

And the little brains in her toes understood Afghanistan

~

One morning she awoke in the ruins of

A small mosque in the beat-up village of Pluckame

Perched invisible on a distant mountain ridge

3 midgets watched her eyes open like she was a cartoon on TV

~

Sitting cross-legged in a row with 3 grinning faces

These poverty-stricken midgets were doomed to grow up Taliban

That is, before they found Col. Sheena Johnson

Who immediately became their favorite cartoon character…

~~~

text copyright clyde collins 2013

photo: tanya roberts

~~~

favorite cartoon character

~~~

Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

http://www.comicvine.com/sheena/4005-31442

http://www.tanyaroberts.biz/en.index.htm

~~~

The Colonel’s Arrow Hits It’s Mark

Tanya as Col. Johnson

episode 3

by

rawclyde!

~

Col. Sheena Johnson stretched her limbs

Tossed a blanket, sat up, stared back at the midget trio

She leaped to her feet into a combat pose

Slapped the half-pints around playfully

~

They were aghast, eyes big marbles, mouths gaping caves

The colonel’s semi-naked attributes stunned

These little Muslim boys in the highest elevations of Afghanistan

She bounced them around like basketballs & they all cleaned-up the place

~

After a while they were making mud bricks

Repairing walls & painting murals on them

Of historic battles in various nearby locales

With splattered suicide bombers hobnobbing with virgins in the clouds

~

The virgins had naked navels, long blond hair & blue eyes

Just like Col. Sheena Johnson

One of the midgets, who everyone called Ollie, was painting a halo

On one of the virgins when his older Taliban brother walked-in

~

This feller turned into a hurricane of destruction

Undid all the work the short fellers & their new friend had done

The colonel had disappeared, was no where to be found

But one of her arrows returned, calmed the hurricane down

~

(Copyright Clyde Collins 2013)

~

final_inline

The Afghaneeland Adventure Series | Old Timer Chronicle II

~

why me ?

~

episode 8

Blue Burqa Destiny

~

by Rawclyde

!

So that’s my story & I’m stickin’ to it

Of the girl next door with whom I blew it

She’s still a colonel & I’m an old tramp

writing tall ones beside my reading lamp

~

Afghaneeland, oh Afghaneeland, we had our thrills

They come, muskets blazing, my backbone a thousand chills

But that girl, a woman now, a legend now

Has captured & carried away my soul somehow

~

So bold was she, so wild & free was she

On the saucer outta there a gift I give to thee

Aye, as from Afghaneeland we float thru the sky

Here’s a little gift in remembrance of you & I

~

Sitting nex’ me in your teeny-weeny buckskin

As we dash across the sky ‘neath God’s almighty chin

Oh Sheena, my Sheena, Col. Sheena Johnson ’til death

I’ll love you always way way beyond my final breath

~

I hand to thee a little something bought & gift-wrapped

So divine when you move all my dreams in the face get slapped

You take it, unwrap it, squirm with a questioning regard

At the blue burqa in your hands you squint so hard

~

What can I say but that the garment adds a new dimension

To your awesome display of leadershipful I-dare-not-mention

Oh goddess, I love thee like all planets a-journey

around the sun, so kneel I to adore your pure knee

~

Time passes slowly as we pass over the sea

In this U.S. Army saucer afloat lackadaisically

You sit so stiff in your new burqa next to sleepy me

I doze, I awake, you sit so still in my gift to thee

~

It covers you so completely in such a modest way

I wonder if it also stops you from having anything to say

I ask you several questions, no word or nod is your reply

The burqa falls to the floor, I let out a horrid cry

~

It appears Col. Sheena Johnson is no longer here

I sit all alone in a flying saucer I fear

Her holy war proves to be not the same as mine

Has she mystically returned to Afghaneeland like ~ like sunshine

?

text: copyright clyde collins 2015

Afghaneeland

~

capt’n chuck fiddler pays the bill

~

episode 11

Capt’n Chuck Fiddler

~

Sunrise, sunset, I go about

My daily intrigues without too much alarm

Eating at the cafe & reading the newspaper

Squinting quizzically at the questionable clientele

~

Mohawks, tattoos, loose women & barbie dolls

So much diversity in the American lifestyle

I’ll have one more cup of coffee please

Before I go to the hazy crazy valley below

~

Other than a lopsided nose & a back with a bolt or two missing

I have no real problems as memories get glazed over

And war wounds hobble along in

A lovely land of free-will & democracy

~

With one marble eye, one fake leg

Capt’n Chuck Fiddler, yours truly, pays the bill

takes another glance at the paper, low n’ behold

There’s Col. Sheena Johnson, so profound, so bold

~

In her customary little slipping & sliding cat-hide rag

Yellow hair waving, baby blues beaming, casual stance

She’s advising native villagers in Afghanistan

in a recent photo right here in the daily paper!

~

~

So she inexplicably shows up again

In that far away land of tremulous doubt

Where the women are rising & men kill for one sick goat

Where you’re blamed for everything as you try to help them out

~

Jesus Christ & Mohammed too, have mercy on us all

I have to go back, say “hello” one last time

To she whom I have worshiped obeyed & missed my whole life long

What’s the name of the hamlet where she has appeared?

~

My one good eye, it squints, it strains, line after line

Tears spill, overjoyed, I can barely see

The name of the place, I search for it exasperatingly

I wipe my eye!  I see!  The village of Pluckame!

~

~

from

afghaneeland

an epic poem

starring col. sheena johnson & capt’n chuck fiddler

by

rawclyde
!

http://saintjoanofarcreincarnatedalmanac.yolasite.com/Afghaneeland-I.php

(text copyright clyde collins 2014)

~