After Reagan had done such a good job pacing me on the Antelope 100, I promised him that if he ever wanted to do a 100 miler, I would pace him. Well, one night when I was talking to him, he suggested that instead of pacing him, how about running a 100 miler with him. I told him as long as we did it before the end of the year for I was wanting to get pregnant, otherwise he would have to wait a couple of years. He agreed and we set out to find a 100 mile ultra that started on a Friday so that we wouldn't be running on a Sunday. I was surprised to find one out of the state of Utah...and so close to me, in Michigan.
So we decided to train and get ready for this race. Well, Reagan hadn't kept up his training as well as he should have during the summer, so I started hoping that maybe we wouldn't be doing it. I actually started thinking we weren't going to do it that I didn't even sign up until the week before the race!
The timing of the race was good and bad. It was the weekend after I returned home from Utah (bad, not a lot of time to prepare or recover from vacation), so Reagan actually flew home with me and the boys (good to have another adult on the plane and at the airport).
While walking through the airport, Roger said to Reagan, "Did you know that my mom ran a 100 miles?!"
Reagan responded with, "ya, and I came here to run 100 miles"
Roger chuckled then went with, "Well, ya, my mom did an Ironman too" That kid is sure proud of me.
Knowing I had 100 miles to run, I tried to think of ways to keep my mind occupied, ways to get myself to forget the moment and to really get into my thoughts. I knew it would be especially difficult for me since Todd couldn't come and support me. I really rely on him for support and encouragement. He really gives me a boost of energy and strength. He gives me faith in myself and confidence in completing the task at hand.
While thinking of things I could think about, I thought about how much I love running, that running is me time. It's time that I get to be outside, breathing the air, feeling the sun, or rain, on my skin. It's my time to get a break from my duties as a mother to strengthen my mind and body. It's my time to contemplate my life, analyze my disappointments and shortcomings. Time to commit myself to be better at something. It's my time to have a prayer in my heart as I evaluate my run, my day, my week, my month, my year, my life.
All this is great about running, but I worried that 100 miles may be a little long to be selfish all about me, I wanted to somehow have this run help someone else. Then the idea came to me to take the opportunity to think and pray about others during the run. I grabbed some paper and started making a list of people. I started with writing the names of everyone in my family, then the friends that I am close to. My original goal was to come up with 50 names. I started writing down all of the Young Women I have ever taught, I wrote down the names of friends that I wasn't too close to, I wrote down the names of old friends I haven't heard from in years, I wrote down the names of old boyfriends, I wrote down the names of people I just vaugly remember. I wrote and wrote. I came up with more than 120 names.
I wrote those names on little stickers, then cut the papers that had the stickers into strips and bundled them up into groups of 20 names, stuck a safety pin at the top and it was ready for the run.
We got to my house from Utah on Tuesday night. Then on Wednesday I got a call from a counseler in the bishopric asking if I would give a talk in Sacrament meeting on Sunday... 15 minute, closing talk. I wasn't sure of what to do. I had to turn him down once already, but I did feel that it may be just a little too much for me to handle in one weekend, especailly since I didn't have the talk prepared. I felt good about accepting the talk, which didn't make sense to me. I finally decided to accept, figuring that I had 100 miles to contemplate my talk, and that would give me something to think about as well.
Tavia and Roger came in on Thursday, and my mom and her boyfriend Brian came in on Friday morning. Roger, my mom, and Brian were going to be camping at the race, so Todd and I had packed all of what they needed into my car. It was getting time for us to leave inorder to make the 4 hour drive and still have some prep time before the 4 PM start. The only problem was that my babysitter had still not arrived yet. Ya, that did not help my anxiety at all.
We finally were able to take off and get on the road. I tried to rest and drink all that I could. I was nervous about starting a race so late in the day, especially knowing that it wasn't a short race, but one inwhich I would be up for up to 30 hours for. Unfortuantely, I was not able to sleep on the way, but that's how things go.
We got to the race start with about 30 minutes to spare. Just enough time to stretch our legs and get changed. After I had gotten changed and dropped off my drop off bag, I started looking around for Reagan and Tavia. It was getting close to start time, so I went to the start, hoping to see them. To my dismay, I could not see them in the crowd of racers. I kept looking for them, but then the starting horn went off. I slowly followed the crowd of runners, looking around for Reagan and Tavia. The path circled us around the area, and I finally spotted them, they were over by our tent, getting their last minute preparations done. I decided to just go really slowly until they caught up to me.
I wasn't sure I was going to like the course for the Woodstock. It was a 16 mile loop, that we would have to run 6 times. There was a total of 3 aid stations, inwhich you visited one every 4 miles. The first aid station you visited at mile 4, then again at mile 12 of the loop, the second aid station you visited at mile 8, and the last aid station was home base, where we started and finished each loop. This is also where everyone was camping, including my mom, Roger and Brian. I was worried that I would get too bored with the same 16 miles, seeing them over and over again, but it actually was more beneficial. I started getting to know which part of the course I was at, and how much longer to expect to be running until the next aid station.
The course was beautiful as well. There were parts we were in the forest, parts in tall grass, parts on a pebble bike path, short parts on the infrequently used blacktop road, paths on wooden bridges and paths. There was just enough hills to make us naturally slow down and walk up them, and the roads and bike path allowed us an opportunity to stretch our legs by running a little faster. It was so beautiful and green, and peaceful.
It didn't take long for Reagan and Tavia to catch up. As we ran, I tried to give them some tips, such as to pace ourselves, make sure we were drinking, and I kept time to know when we needed to take our salt tablets and such. Reagan admitted that he didn't bring any salt tablets on this first loop. Honestly, I was frustrated with him by this. Tavia and I had each packed enough salt tablets for one loop, knowing we would pick up more for the next loop. Plus, I had not only purchased his salt tablets, but I had packaged them into convient serving portions, all he had to do was pack them for the run. Now, Tavia and I had to jepordize how our bodies would hold up by giving him some of ours (think of the ten virgins, I totally understand why the 5 prepared could not help the unprepared). Well, since it was still early in the race, we were able to share with him without too much damage to ourselves, but I was frustrated.
We got done with the first loop, saw Roger, my mom, and Brian, grabbed our supplies for the next loop, then went on our way. It was difficult for I felt a lot of responsiblitity for Reagan and Tavia. I kept track of when we needed to take our pills and our supplements (Vespa), I had to be aware of when we needed to walk, stretch our legs, etc. I really did not mind doing all this and being helpful, what was hard was that I didn't feel as though I had anyone helping me. When we came through the campground, Tavia had Roger and Reagan had my mom and Brian. I felt just left to my own accord.
Now I don't want to sound like this was a terrible experience, for it really was not. It was actually probably my funnest race ever, I just missed not having Todd or someone else there to help me. I really had such a great time. Reagan would make up stories about us, saying that we were running to stop people from eating donuts that would make them enormously huge (love his imagination), Tavia would tell her own stories (real life stories), and I would grab a name sticker and tell them about the person. We talked so much that my earphones stayed out of my ears. I didn't need music when I could have conversation with these two people that I love dearly.
The weather, temperature wise, was very ideal. Unfortunately it rained, and it rained a lot. It didn't rain hard, but it just kept coming and coming. The rain was a good distraction, but it caused us to have muddy shoes and very, very wet feet. The last four miles of the loop there was a lot of downhill slipping and sliding. It did not help that it was dark when we approached this section a second time.
When we got to the base camp, I had to change my socks. I knew that my new socks would get wet in the first 5 minutes, but I needed them to get dry. I also knew that I had forgotten one important thing....to clip my toenails!!! DANG!!!
While I was at the aid station I was getting my shoes off. One of the volunteers saw that I wasn't getting help from anyone, so he came and helped me with my shoes off. When we pulled my right sock off, my second toenail almost completely came off. Gross and ouch.
With new socks and our supplies in our pockets, we set out for our third loop, my mom coming with us to pace us. Sure enough, my feet were soaked within the first 5 minutes.
We had another great loop, though we were getting a little tired, it being in the middle of the night. As we got closer to being done with this loop, I wasn't too sure that Reagan would be going on much farther. He required us to walk more frequently, and he kept saying, "I just want to cry, but the tears just won't come out". I knew that he was at his physical and emotional threshold. I was pretty sure he couldn't make it another 50 miles after this loop. Sure enough, when we got to the base camp, he told us to go on ahead without him, that he needed a break. I felt bad leaving him, but there wasn't anything we could do for him.
When I realized that Reagan was still determined to do the race, even though he hadn't been training, I thought that there was no way we would do 100 miles. Todd asked me what I thought we would do, I told him that if we got 50 miles, that would be great, and that was all that I was mentally committing myself to. But after getting the first fifty miles, I still felt great and was having a great time. Tavia and I trudged on in the rain and dark. We really had such a great time. Tavia is one of my favorite people, I always have such a good time with her.
We finished that loop with the sun coming out and we still had energy to keep going. I think I liked having the race start in the afternoon for it gave you enough time to go through the course once in daylight, then when we hit the middle of the night,we had only been running for 10-16 hours instead of 17-23. The rain was intermitten, but wasn't heavy to cause a problem and the course was already drenched at that point that it really didn't matter if it rained or not.
I had been thinking about my talk, which was on self-reliance and living within our means. While running I had great ideas of self-reliance, such as using the example of running, if someone else does it for us, then what benefit is it to us, what joy do we get from it, etc. I had tons of ideas, but as far as living within our means, I could not think of anything. Well, like everything, when you are looking for a lesson, God will give you one.
A couple of miles from the second aid station on the course, I started feeling very light-headed. I figured that I needed sugar, (found out later that I had gotten the wrong instructions on our Vespa, I was told to take it every 5-6 hours when you're supposed to take it every 2-3 hours). Unfortunatly I didn't have any goo or food on me. I started to have to walk in fear that I would pass out. We passed a runner and I decided to ask if she had any nourishment. She gave me some candy, which I was so grateful for. We got to the aid station, I sat down for a minute and ate all that I could. Then Tavia and I started down. For the first time in the race, I asked Tavia if she would mind if I put in my earphones as I tried to get into the zone. She of course was supportive as I tried to ignore my dizziness. After a couple of miles hot tears stung my eyes. I realized that I was very light headed, very weak. If I passed out I would put Tavia in a world of hurt for she is not a big person at all. I was worried that I would put myself into some sort of health damage if I pushed myself much farther. I told Tavia that I was going to have to drop out at the next aid station. She asked if I was sure, asked if I didn't just want to rest for a couple of minutes. I looked at my watch, and doing calculations after running 80 miles, I got nervous that if we waited for me, Tavia may not make the time cut off. No, we had come to far. At the next aid station, Tavia and I both looked sadly at each other as we said good-bye. It was difficult for me to drop out, I can be very stubborn, but I decided to not push it, to "live within my means".
I got a ride by a volunteer to the base camp, but halfway there I did throw up in her car. I asked her to pull over, and as soon as she did I threw the door open to upchuck, but I accidently got some on the inside of her door....whoops. She was really nice about it.
Tavia finished that loop and ran with my mom, two girls my mom had met and recruited to run with us, and Roger for the last loop. She did so well and came through so strong. I was so proud of her.
Now I only had one thing left to do, get some rest and write a talk for church the next morning. It did not help that my mom was going to be gone and so was Roger and Tavia, oh and Todd had early morning meetings at the church. Ya, that was not fun.
Here's the talk I came up with, I really am not sure of how it went, I did have people tell me that they liked it, and my friends SIL, who is not a member of our faith, was there for the first time and said she really liked it, but the person that would be completely honest with me, Todd, was out in the hallway with one of the boys.
Many of you know that I like to run….well, let's just say that I run. Sometimes I like it, sometimes I don't, but one thing I love about running is how you can learn a lot through doing it.
Yesterday I, along with my brother and sister in-law participated in an Ultra Marathon. An ultra marathon is a race that is longer than a marathon. As you can imagine, it can be very difficult to participate in this event. It is very tiring, grueling, and physically as well as mentally challenging.
Now let's just say that while running in this event, you are given the option of having someone take your place, they will run half of the race and you still get the medal at the end. In the moment, it may sound very appeasing, but then you have to question yourself why you are even running the race in the first place. The medal will not mean the same to you and the sense of accomplishment will be missed.
Now, my brother had come to the race ill-prepared. He had relied on me to provide him with all the things necessary for him to run the race. I did provide him with a headlamp and salt tablets, but there was no way for me to know what else he needed for he had packed his own bag. During the race it had rained 90% of the time. We were soaked and the ground had become mud. There were several times that the mud even pulled our shoes off for we had gotten stuck. My brother was not prepared for this type of terrain and weather and had to drop out of the race half way through. He was not prepared and therefore was not self reliant.
If we are not self reliant, we cannot be prepared for a day of disaster. We cannot rely on someone else to make sure that we and our stewardship are taken care of and safe. Today marks the ten year anniversary of 9-11. As we remember those that were affected by that tragedy we should also remember that it had happened with no warning, and that's how most disasters and tragedies do occur.
I was asked to speak about Self-reliance. And just as in my running analogy, there are many more important areas of our lives that we would want to practice self-reliance, and many reasons to be self-reliant. Though there are many times that we are tempted to live a life of ease by allowing someone else pay the bill, that dependance, or reliance on someone or something, that "something for nothing" does not come cheap.
Many years ago the following article was printed in The Reader's Digest
“In our friendly neighbor city of St. Augustine [Florida] great flocks of sea gulls are starving amid plenty. Fishing is still good, but the gulls don’t know how to fish. For generations they have depended on the shrimp fleet to toss them scraps from the nets. Now the fleet has moved.
“The shrimpers had created a Welfare State for the … sea gulls. The big birds never bothered to learn how to fish for themselves and they never taught their children to fish. Instead they led their little ones to the shrimp nets.
“Now the sea gulls, the fine free birds that almost symbolize liberty itself, are starving to death because they gave in to the ‘something for nothing’ lure! They sacrificed their independence for a hand-out. "
I love this story. Though I feel so badly about the starving sea gulls, it reminds me of just how we can become like the sea gulls, so dependent on something or someone else that we are no longer able to make our own decisions for we have to live by the provider's rules and regulations.
We are told in [D&C 29:35] that man is to be “an agent unto himself.” Man cannot be an agent unto himself if he is not self-reliant.
"Whenever we get into a situation which threatens our self-reliance, we will find our freedom threatened as well. If we increase our dependence, we will find an immediate decrease in our freedom to act." - Marion G. Romney
When Brother Winegar asked me to speak, he asked me to speak on self-reliance and living within our means. I figured I had a long time to ponder on this talk while I was running. I easily was able to see how I could tie self-reliance into my race, but failed to see where I could point out living within your means....until the end.
While running the race yesterday, I started getting very light headed. I had run 80 miles, with only 20 more to go to the finish. I knew I could finish the race, and I wanted to do it. I wanted to have the shiny belt buckle they give finishers, and I wanted to finish the race with the other racers. But as I continued, I soon saw that I could not get over my light-headedness. I had to make a choice. I could either push myself and body, risking injury to myself, or I could just accept what I was able to do, be happy with what I had done and drop out.
As frustrating as it was, I dropped out. I later realized that it was very similar to living within your means. I wanted something that required more than I had to give. Though I wanted the beltbuckle, and though I wanted to keep up with the Jones'..or other racers, I did not overextend myself. I decided against injury, and chose health and peace. I realized that had I chosen to continue, I may have suffered consequences similar to debt. I would have been held back, full of anxiety, in pain.
President J. Reuben Clark Jr., in 1938 said, “Once in debt, interest is your companion every minute of the day and night; you cannot shun it or slip away from it; you cannot dismiss it; it yields neither to entreaties, demands, or orders; and whenever you get in its way or cross its course or fail to meet its demands, it crushes you”
President Heber J. Grant stated, “If there is any one thing that will bring peace and contentment into the human heart, and into the family, it is to live within our means. And if there is any one thing that is grinding and discouraging and disheartening, it is to have debts and obligations that one cannot meet”
Are any possesions worth this stress and anxiety?
It's not about how much money you make, it's about how much money you spend and save. To be rich is to spend less than you make. You can make a great deal of money, but if you spend it all, you will not prepared; whereas if you spend less than you make, you are assuring peace in your home for not only are you better prepared for the future, but you have no creditors giving you and your family stress.
God told Martin Harris through revelation He said: “Pay the debt thou hast contracted with the printer. Release thyself from bondage” (D&C 19:35). and Pres. Hinkley has told us to free ourselves from bondage by urging us " look to the condition of your finances. I urge you to be modest in your expenditures; discipline yourselves in your purchases to avoid debt to the extent possible. Pay off debt as quickly as you can."
So we start to see how living within our means and being self-reliant are interconnected.
Pres. Hinkley said "Self-reliance cannot be obtained when there is serious debt hanging over a household. One has neither independence nor freedom from bondage when he is obligated to others."
Why are we self-reliant? character building, be prepared, and ultimately to be free. Why is it so important for us to be free? For it is only in freedom that we are allowed to worship and serve our Father in Heaven Christ wants us to feel His spirit, but his spirit is a spirit of peace. We cannot have other factors in our lives holding us back from feeling His spirit.
I hope that I presented the talk well. I really cannot be too sure since Todd missed it and I was running off of very little sleep. If it went too badly, I guess they won't ask me to speak for a LONG time.
Now, as a side note, according to Todd, I would have been fine physically if I had kept running. He said that if I would have passed out, I would have just passed out, got some oxygen to my brain, then been able to keep going without any long or short term effects on my brain or body. I almost wish he wouldn't have told me that. Also, next time I do a hundred, it is imperitive that I have a pacer at least at mile 75. Had I a pacer with me, they would have done the math for me and pointed out that I still had 10 hours to do 20 miles....easy! Oh well, we live and learn, right? Also, I think it was a better learning experience for me to quit, to put my stubborness behind me and think of the whole picture.
Besides being sore, I did get some battle wounds. I got burns everywhere from my wet clothes constantly rubbing on my body. Below is a picture of where my headphones rubbed on my chest, and I got a lot more all over.
My feet got the worst end of it. Being soaked with water the entire time, they did not handle that well. I got all sort of blisters and my feet had cut like lines all over the bottoms from the prolonged water.
Glad I have a husband and a brother that like popping my blisters. They were gross.
