Ultra-Labor

About 3 weeks before going into labor, I had a day when I was getting very consistent contractions. I thought for sure that I was going into labor.

Seriously, I was huge

I called my mom, who was planning on driving the 3000 miles to my house the next week, to let her know that I thought I was going into labor. She called me back and told me that she got a plane ticket for the next day. Since that time I've been thinking (and feeling) that I would go into labor any day.
My dad, who originally wasn't going to come, had offered to take my mom's spot and drive my sister Lyndee, her husband Nathan, their baby Audrey, my sister Lana, and my 10 year-old niece Addison out in a motor home. I was so touched that my dad would be willing to do that for it is a really LONG drive.

Roger playing outside with Addison and Audrey

So, for almost 2 weeks I had a full house of people waiting for me to go into labor. It was difficult for I did feel some pressure with so many people's schedule relying on me, but I also did not feel great. I was huge, and wanting to hold my baby girl. To top it off, whenever I saw anyone, they would comment on the fact that I was still pregnant. When I had to go to church, still pregnant, the day after my due date, I swore that I wouldn't go to church the following week. Unfortunately, the week after I did show up, huge belly and all.

I was due on June 16th. Nine days later, on the night of Monday, June 25th I was getting ready for bed. My prayers that night were different than they had been. Previously I had prayed that I would have the baby soon, but even though everyone except my mom was leaving the next day, I prayed more for Evelyn, for her health and well being, and that we would be prepared for her. Up to that point, I had gone to bed with some anxiety, hoping to awake in the early morning to contractions, as I had with my other children. That night though, I felt a lot of peace and calmness as I climbed into bed.
I had just fallen asleep around 11:30 PM when I was suddenly soaked with fluid. I was shocked. Not only have I never had my water break on it's own before I was in the process of pushing out a baby, but I was also surprised with the amount of fluid that was present. I remember reading somewhere that usually when the water breaks it's like a small trickle of water....oh, no...not my experience. It was a full Niagara Falls gush that just kept going and going. This was mostly due to the fact that Evelyn's head was not quite in position, to block all the fluid from coming out.
I had been carrying Evelyn high, even at the end. My midwife was concerned because sometimes if your baby doesn't drop and labor is started with the breaking of waters, there's a chance that the umbilical cord could slip down and get in front of the head. Because I had never had my water break before I was in labor, I wasn't too concerned. But luckily I had listened to her instructions and remembered to get on my hands and knees. We called my midwife, Pam, and she was on her way.
Even though I doubted there could possibly be any more fluid in me, more and more gushed out. I was soaked and soaked up multiple towels. I have always hated being moist, so I was even more uncomfortable than ever.
Todd was incredibly sweet, and concerned. He kept asking how he could help me, telling me that he loved me. He asked what he could do for me and I requested that he give me a priesthood blessing.
In the blessing, I remembered only 2 things. One was to follow the inspirations of the Spirit, and the second was to remember my Patriarchal blessing.

Pam got to my house shortly, not wanting to risk missing another delivery. She listened to the baby's heartbeat. Upon determining that Evelyn's heart rate was good, she proceeded to set up for the labor and delivery.
My contractions came, but weren't too terribly strong. I was a little disappointed in the timing of everything. With William and Grant I had awakened in the middle of the night with light contractions and was able to sleep through them until the early morning. Here I was starting labor after having a long day and only a moment of rest.
I labored on the birthing ball, the toilet, and in bed. My contractions were coming, but not too strong. Around 2 AM, Pam suggested that I get some rest. Tired and exhausted, I readily agreed. I slept for about and hour and a half.
My contractions had gotten harder, making it difficult for me to sleep. I dealt with them in different ways, all while trying to get any rest I could.
When it was a more humane hour, my mom brought me some eggs for breakfast. I kept thinking I was at most 4 hours away from delivery, so I tried to stay focused on dealing with my contractions and allowing them to come.
Upon waking up, my boys came into my room, excited that the day to meet Evelyn had finally arrived. At first they were quiet and just watched, but then they started making a lot of noise and were very distracting for me. My contractions started to slow down.

Pam, seeing that my progress was slowing, recommended that we go on as usual. She said that having people just watch a laboring mother was like trying to watch water boil- makes it feel like much longer and giving me too much pressure. Plus I'm not one that does well as the center of attention, and I sure had it. With that in mind I had my mom take the boys to swim team practice and Pam went out to visit some friends while Todd and I stayed in my room for me to labor.
During this time my contractions started becoming consistent, about 8 minutes apart, and painful.

Pam came back an hour and half later. She felt the baby's position by feeling my belly. She said that the baby needed help turning the right way and suggested that I lay in a knees and shoulders position for 20 minutes. This position is supposed to help get the baby's back bone lined up with the center line of my belly. While in this position my contractions slowed to a stand still, which I didn't mind the break. During this time, Todd, my mom, and Lyndee all talked to me, which was fun, though I did (kindly) request that they be quite during my contractions so I could focus through the pain.

The rest of the afternoon was  blur to me. There were times when I was bombarded with contractions and times when nothing was coming. Pam was guessing that the reason my contractions were off and on was either Evelyn was a little wrapped up in her umbilical cord, or that it was a little short and would just take a little time to lengthen.
Todd took advantage of a lull of contractions to mow the lawn and trim the bushes, and I sat with my family and played a board game. I tried walking, focusing on having contractions, and not focusing on having contractions. By the time evening came I was frustrated. I had expected my labor to be at most 8 hours long, but I found myself 18 hours into it without any end in sight.
I asked Pam for some advice to get my contractions more regular. She gave me some ideas, but also suggested that I take advantage of the pause and try to get some rest. I really appreciated Pam's knowledge and wisdom and I especially appreciated that she gave me the options without trying to persuade me one way or another.
I decided to rest, but of course anytime I would try resting is when the contractions would come. Anytime I would try dealing with the contractions they would slow down. I tried lying down and when I felt the wave of the contraction coming, I would try to hurry get on my hands and knees to work through the pain. This wasn't easy for with my huge belly I wasn't able to maneuver very quickly and the contractions were extremely painful if I was lying down.
After trying to deal with this for a bit, I finally surrendered to sitting on the birthing ball. Unfortunately this slowed my contractions down.
Frustrated, I decided to go with Todd down to the beach and take a walk. It was about 9 PM and we barely missed the sunset, though we did get to see some beautiful pink sky hues. I really enjoyed being there with Todd. Though I had experienced a lot of pain, I really enjoyed the time I got to spend with Todd on that day. He is such a wonderful, connecting, concerned, and hilarious husband.
I didn't have very many contractions during our walk and I was exhausted, so we went home so I could go to bed.

My dad, Lyndee, Lana and Addison were supposed to leave for home that day, Tuesday, of course my girl decided to not make her arrival until the last possible moment. Since she was coming, they decided to spend the night and leave the next morning so that they could see Evelyn.

I was frustrated with how slowly I had progressed that day. Pam reminded me that most babies spend weeks getting down into position and Evelyn was doing it in one day. I tried to remain positive about it, but I was frustrated. I had a long day, I had had many long and painful contractions,  but I didn't feel like I had progressed at all.
I guess I had it coming to me. My mom always said, "Make your words sweet, for you never know which one's you'll have to eat". A few weeks ago I was talking with my good friend. We were talking about our own birth stories, for what else do people talk about with a 9-month pregnant woman? We mentioned duration of labor and that even though there are women that claim to have been in labor for 30 hours or such, we didn't really believe they were in "labor" for that long, nor was it very hard. Well, I had to eat my words. The long duration of labor is real, and mine was more difficult than a shorter labor. With Grant I labored for a total of 8 hours, 2-3 of which I was able to sleep through my contractions. Though my contractions weren't as consistent with Evelyn's labor, it was more difficult. It was harder to remain focused, stay in the "zone", for such a long duration.

Disappointed and frustrated I went to bed. Soon after falling asleep, I was hit with really strong contractions - of course, that was the reoccurring theme, no rest. Around 11:30 PM, 24 hours into my labor, I had Todd call Pam, who had gotten a near-by hotel room. I was in pain, I was starting to feel that "I can't go on much further" pain that signifies that it's almost time to push. I knew I was near the end. Pam got there quickly.
Based on the duration and frequency of my contractions (and the intensity), Pam agreed that it was time to get ready for the delivery. My mom started filling up the bathtub.
A little while later, while I was trying to deal with my contractions, I heard my mom saying something about the bathtub and that there wasn't enough hot water. I tried to not focus on that, I didn't want to loose my concentration on dealing with my pain, but that blew the wind out of my sails. I was counting on the bath, known as the midwife's epidural, to help me through the pushing.
Pam got the bed set up for delivery while my mom and Lyndee woke up the boys and brought them into my room. I had wanted them present for the birth (Mikey had been very sad that he had missed Grant's birth), but they all just found a spot in my room and fell back asleep.

Pam checked me and told me that I only had a small lip of my cervix left, but that I could push while she held it down for the baby's head to get through. With Todd behind me, giving me support physically and emotionally, I pushed.

I pushed and pushed, and man was it painful. I'm not sure of how long I pushed, but finally Pam suggested that I sit vertically to help get Evelyn into a better position. Pam mentioned that Evelyn was a very confused girl, not sure of how to get out. She guessed that either Evelyn was posterior (sunnyside up) or was being held up by her umbilical cord. Little did we know how right she was.
While I labored in the bathroom it was discovered that we now had hot water. I was so happy when they started fulling up the tub, and even happier when I got in the tub. It gave me a few minutes peace, which I thoroughly enjoyed.

When the contractions revved up again, I asked Todd to give me another priesthood blessing. The only thing I remember him saying is that we would understand what a special daughter of God we were having.
I pushed for a bit, but no progress. Pam instructed me to move my hips around to try shift the baby down. This caused a lot of pain, but I did the best I could.
My contractions were painful and it was getting more and more difficult to deal with them. I was tired, exhausted, and somewhat delusional (okay, maybe a lot delusional). I tried to focus on one spot during a contractions, but since I had to move around, I had a difficult time trying to find a focus point for many of my contractions. Pam had my mom bring me a protein shake for she could tell that my energy was waning, and I had only had a milkshake since the eggs for breakfast on Tuesday morning.

It was hard. So incredibly hard. Quite possibly the hardest thing I have ever done. I kept praying and praying. I kept asking the Lord to deliver me out of this pain. I kept asking for the baby to be delivered soon, yet I still remained pregnant and in pain.
Evelyn slipped out of position and my contraction frequency (not intensity though) decreased. I was exhausted and got a few snippets of rest between the contractions. My mom and Lyndee took turns going on my bed and sleeping during this time (for it was like 2 or 3 in the morning), but Todd and Pam remained in the bathroom with me.

Again my contractions sped up and I tried pushing and pushing. I have no idea of what the time frame was, how long I pushed for, how long I labored, how long I rested, I just know that it felt like forever.
While pushing again, Pam couldn't get at a good angle, so she asked that I get out of the tub to push. I went to my bed, there was Roger, Mikey, my mom, and Lyndee all sleeping on my bed.
I pushed some more, frustrated because besides Mikey (who was delivered posterior and was my first), I had only pushed twice to get every one of my other babies out. I pushed, yet felt that it was ineffective. Pam suggested I get on my shoulders and knees again to try to help Evelyn get out of the posterior position. I got into position while everyone but Pam and I slept.
While in this position, I had strong contractions. They hurt and I tried to focus on relaxing, relaxing my grip, my face, my entire body. I was very grateful to Pam who massaged my calves and feet during that time.
I was supposed to stay in that position for 20 minutes, but because of the pain and exhaustion, I was only able to stay in it for 10 minutes. I was grateful to be at home with a midwife that didn't get upset or annoyed if you couldn't fully do what was asked. Afterwards I lied on my side and tried to get some rest in between the contractions.
As my contractions once again started coming closer and closer together, I could no longer deal with them in silence. My screaming woke most everyone up (probably including several neighbors). Soon enough it was time again to try pushing. I pushed and pushed.

 The pain was so escalated and my ability to deal with it had significantly decreased that I would scream during every contraction. Pam instructed me to try to not scream for I was loosing some power to the push when I screamed. I tried to take her advice, but it was a whole lot easier said than done. I was just trying to cope. I had been in this hard pain for too long.  I pushed and pushed, with a lot of screaming.
By now the sun had risen and so had my boys. I was nervous about them being traumatized by the whole thing, but later found that they hadn't been traumatized. We had talked enough about labor that they understood that it was going to be painful for me. It actually caused William to be more loving and tender with me later when I saw him. He knew the hard work and pain that I went through for Evelyn....and for him.
For what seemed like the 100th time that night/day I hit the wall. I couldn't go on, I wanted to quit. Pam told me that I needed some rest (I already knew that) and suggested that if I could get some pain management at the hospital, I would be able to get some rest and have enough energy to go on.
Transferring to the hospital was not something I had desired, yet at this point I was willing to do anything to get out of this pain. My only concern was what if I was just 20 minutes away from delivery I would prefer to deliver at home rather than going to the hospital where I was still about an hour and half away from an epidural.
I requested that we fill up the tub while I thought about it. I got in the tub and was grateful for the small relief I got from it. While in the tub I pushed some more. It was so hard, painful, and exhausting. Pam gave me a tablespoon of honey to help get my sugar up and give me some strength.
I was in such pain and so exhausted, I had no idea of what to do. At this time I remembered that I had 2 painkillers left over from when I had had William (over 5 years ago--ya, I'm not big on taking medication for pain unless it's severe). I realized that if I took the pills it might help my pain just enough until I could get an epidural. Once the medication started to take effect, I got out of the tub, got dressed, and Todd took me to the hospital.
Todd had called my nurse midwives office and I was thrilled to find that the only one that I really like from the practice, Colleen, was on call. I actually felt like it was a tender mercy from the Lord.
We got to the hospital around 8 AM on Wednesday, the 27th of June, 32 hours into the labor. We went through the admissions which is at the ER entrance. We saw several people Todd knows and when Todd had totally left his car, running, at the curb and forgot about it, a nurse he works with moved and parked it for him.
The medication made me loopy.  I wasn't totally out of pain, but it did take the edge off.
I got admitted and was soon seen by Colleen. I was put on pitocin to keep my contractions regular and help Evelyn to get down and stay down. I had to get fluid from an IV drip for an hour before I could get an epidural. I knew this would be the case, but I prayed that it would go quickly.
My nurse, Jan, was awesome and very helpful, but she kept asking admission questions while I was trying to keep my eyes closed and my mind focused as I dealt with the remainder of the pain I was experiencing.
I was more than relieved when the anesthesiologist came. The medication I had taken had been waring off and the pain levels were increasing. I was very pleased with how quickly the epidural took effect. I soon fell fast asleep. So did Todd

My mom and Pam had come over to the hospital shortly after we had arrived and got settled into our room. I was surprised that Pam came, seeing that I didn't expect her to, but she transferred her role from that of a midwife to one more of a douala, which I was very grateful for.

I had gotten my epidural around 10 AM, after 35 hours of being in labor, and was in and out of consciousness until about 1 PM (I was a very tired girl). My dad and Lyndee had come over.

Everyone was in much better spirits and all were saying how good I was looking now that I was no longer in pain and had gotten some rest.

We talked and joked around, enjoying the peace. Around 1:30, my dad went to my house to pack up the motor home and Colleen came in to check on me.
When I had first come into the hospital, Pam had told Colleen that the baby was posterior. Colleen had checked me and disagreed. This time, Colleen got wide-eyed and told Pam that she too now thought the baby was posterior (great). She also announced that it was time, once again, to push. Oh, Joy!

I pushed and pushed. After pushing for awhile, Colleen had me get on my knees, and while holding the back of the bed, push in that position (I love midwives). Pam, Lyndee, and my mom were at my sides, with Pam instructing Lyndee on how to apply pressure to my side as she did the other side. Then between contractions Pam would wipe my face with a cool, wet towel. Todd was at the bottom of the bed, getting ready to catch the baby along with a midwife-in-training who only has one more month until she's certified.

Usually I would have hated the thought of so many people around me, but they were all the perfect group. The women that I didn't know that well were incredibly supportive and encouraging, and everyone else I am so close with and I appreciated having their love, help and support. The Lord knew who I needed there and provided me with the best "team" I could have.
My epidural had started to wear off, so I knew when to push through a contractions. It was so hard, to push and push, and breathe. So painful and exhausting. My mom said later that if I would've had a heart condition it probably would have killed me.
At one point I heard Todd's voice say, "Come on, Loni...PUSH". After the contraction was over I informed him that I was pushing, to which he smiled and agreed.
I was getting exhausted. Colleen got some peppermint oil to try getting me to become more alert. I didn't know how long I had been pushing, but it had been a long couple of days, coupled with a long duration of pushing. I had started my labor at the end of one day, and now here I was almost 40 hours later and still no baby.
After pushing in that position for awhile, I was told to push on my back again.
I pushed and pushed (is there a reoccurring theme here?). Finally Todd told me that he saw hair. I was shocked. All of our boys were born bald. I continued to push and push. Knowing that it must be over soon. I pushed harder and longer with each contraction.
Finally, after being 11 days over due, 40 hours in labor, 2 hours of pushing (at the hospital anyway), at 3:32 PM Evelyn Nae entered the world into her daddy's hands.
I was so relieved, so thrilled, such a great high.

 I started crying with my mom and Lyndee, tears of joy and relief. The feeling of accomplishment was better than anything I had ever done, marathon, ultramarathon, Ironman--nothing was this hard, nor had such a great "prize" at the end.
This had only lasted a minute for though I had requested to go skin to skin with my baby immediately after delivering, Colleen had the baby in her hands, was cutting the cord and calmly telling me that I wouldn't be able to hold my baby just yet.
I got just one look at Evelyn. She looked white and limp.

Colleen put Evelyn on the infant bed and pushed a button, and called out "Code Pink". This did not sound good. Everything was happening so quickly.
Todd was over with Evelyn when several other nurses and doctors rushed in.

This was the scariest moment of my life.

I went from a rush of joy and elation to worry, fear, deepest dread, wondering if my girl would take a breath of life. My tears instantly changed from tears of joy to tears of concern and fear.
My mom hugged me as she said a prayer and I said many prayers in my heart as I watched Todd and the hospital staff working on Evelyn. I prayed she'd make a sound. I watched for what seemed like forever as they tried to resuscitate my girl.  I prayed to the Lord, asking Him to not take my baby.
Finally I heard a little squeak. I wasn't totally relieved for this squeak was faint, had a liquid/mucus-filled block to it, and the doctors continued to "bag" (pump air) into Evelyn.

Slowly, Evelyn started to cry and make noise. I was so relieved. My prayers instantly turned to prayers of gratitude. God had preserved my baby.

After working on her some more, they wheeled her off to the nursery. I was only able to get a glimpse of my girl as they walked by.

Todd went with them, which I preferred. I would rather he not be with me than have her be without us.
I was really impressed with how Todd dealt with the resuscitation. He was very calm and helped out like any doctor would, he didn't let the fact that he was working on his child take away his focus or let him loose his head.  He later told me that it was hard to not get emotional about it, and besides Wiliam's accident, it was the worst thing he has experienced.
Todd came back to my room from time to time to check on me and give me any updates on Evelyn. I was told that I would have to wait for the epidural to wear off before I could go see Evelyn, which would be about 2 hours.
About an hour after delivering, Colleen came into my room. She said that she was giving me the okay to get into a wheelchair to go see my girl. She felt that what the baby needed was her mommy. I was so excited that I would get to see Evelyn for it felt as though time was crawling by, but it did make me nervous that Evelyn was struggling.
I was helped into a wheelchair and rolled down the hallway to the "specialized nursery". It was a small room, just big enough for one baby bed. Evelyn was sprawled out, cord and sensors attached to her, a clear bowl-looking thing over her head. I was wheeled to her side. I gently stroke her small arm, scared to touch anywhere else. I talked to her, hoping she could hear and recognize my voice.

 Todd was by my side. I was in there for 2 minutes when Todd noticed that one of the monitors was showing something needed attention. He called to the pediatrician, who was in the next room, then wheeled me back to my room. I felt comforted that Evelyn was okay, but I hated being separated from her. I got back into my bed and tried to get some rest as I waited.
My eyes felt so swollen. I put a cold washcloth on them for they hurt and I felt that I could barely keep them open. I thought it was probably from all my crying, for I hardly ever cry and I figured that swollen eyes come from having so many tears come from eyes that are usually dry. I found out later it was actually from all of my pushing and I even broke a blood vessel in my eye from it.

After 20 or so minutes, Todd came into my room. He told me that they had decided to transfer Evelyn downtown to a Rainbow Hospital's NICU. This broke my heart and put me into tears. Todd told me it wasn't his call or decision, but that wasn't what upset me. What upset me was that my girl wasn't doing very well, that she needed more intervention and monitoring than this hospital could provide.
My dad, Lana, Addison, Lyndee, and Audrey got to the hospital shortly after. The motor home was all packed and they were on their way to drive back to Utah, just stopping in to say good-bye and to see Evelyn.
While they were there the EMT people from Rainbows had gotten to the hospital and brought Evelyn into my room, by my bed, in a transporting box. They opened a little side "door' and I got to lightly touch her, for the second time. I was surprised, and happy, to see her eyes wide open and to be looking very alert. That did give me some comfort on her status for she was looking very much alive. I got to see her for a few minutes, then they took her away.

After she was taken away, my family that was driving to Utah said their good-byes. It was quite ironic for my dad's case. My dad's original plan was to, as he put it, "fly in, kiss the baby, and fly home". He did the exact opposite. He drove the 30 hours here, stayed for 2 weeks (that's a record), didn't even get to touch the baby, only see her for a couple of minutes through the clear box, then was driving the 30 hours back to Utah. He didn't get the best end of the stick, but I was grateful for his sacrifices for they did show his love.

My mom, who was supposed to drive to and from Utah, had extended her trip to Saturday since Baby Evelyn still hadn't been born at that point. With Evelyn being sent to the NICU, my mom extended her stay another week, resulting in her staying 2 days shy of a month.
Usually a mother isn't discharged from a hospital until at least 24 hours after giving birth, but Colleen, upon hearing of Evelyn's transfer, had given me a couple of options. I could just stay at that hospital for the whole 24 hours, be transfered downtown but I would be in a different portion of the hospital, or since she felt that I was in such good shape physically and since it was my 5th child she would allow me to be discharged 6 hours after the delivery (9:30 PM) so that I could go be with my baby. I was grateful for her being realistic and caring of my needs and wants. I obviously agreed on the early discharge.
I later found the NICU to be nicer than I expected. Their NICU rooms are just like normal patient rooms, one baby per room, and each room even having a sofa bed and a rocking chair. The only problem was that there wasn't a bathroom in the room and no eating allowed inside the rooms. This was a little difficult for me for as I was just hours from delivery, I had to walk down the hall and around the corner to go to the bathroom or to eat anything. Not very conducive to recovery, but it was worth the sacrifice to be near my baby.
Evelyn was taken to Rainbows around 6 PM, so I had to wait 3.5 hours before I could be joined with her. It seemed like 9:30 would never come. I tried to just rest and keep the cool rag on my eyes. When the nurse came in to discharge me, I was showered, dressed, packed, and waiting to go.
Since Pam lives east of Cleveland and Todd was already at Rainbows, Pam offered to take me to Rainbows. I couldn't believe it. She hadn't been home in almost 48 hours, she had already stayed way longer than I would have ever expected or asked her to, and then she was willing to stay several hours more so I could have a ride to Rainbows. She was such an angel through out the entire process. It further validated that I had picked a good midwife.
The drive to Rainbows seemed like forever. Though I cannot say that I can fully empathize, I do feel more understanding for mothers who loose their babies and go home empty handed. I had never experienced such separation with my newborn. Considering that I had wanted a low medical, very intimate homebirth, this had been the exact opposite. My heart ached to see, smell, touch, hold, kiss my baby, yet I had to be patient. It was so hard, I wanted my baby so badly.
Todd met me at the entrance of Rainbows and after saying a quick goodbye to Pam, Todd wheeled me to Evelyn's room. We entered through the door.
The room was totally dark except for a bright warming light was shining down on my baby. Evelyn lay totally flat and spread out wearing only a diaper while all sorts of wires, IVs and oxygen tube were attached to her.

I rushed to her side and stroked her little arm. I hated seeing her with all the wires and the oxygen tube in her nose, but I was incredibly grateful to finally be reunited with my baby. My eyes started to once again fill up with tears.

The nurse came in. Upon seeing me looking longingly at my baby, she asked if I wanted to hold her. "Can I?" I asked in unbelief. I didn't think she could be moved from her specialized bed. The nurse quickly got things situated, but it wasn't quick enough for me. I anxiously sat in the rocker, my arms yearning for my baby to be placed in them. The nurse gently set Evelyn into my arms and my tears flowed freely down my cheeks. I had never been so happy and grateful. Evelyn is wonderful, is perfect, is here and safe.