Piano Recital

My boys had their annual piano Christmas Recital. They each played two songs. Before playing their song, they went to the front of the room and spoke into the microphone. They stated their name and which song they were going to be playing.
Evelyn loves music, and gets even more excited when it involves her brothers. Whenever they practice the piano, she'll swing her arms around in a dancing fashion. When they are through practicing, she will cry and insist that they get back to playing the piano. It really is a wonder that we get anything done around here.

Mikey's second song was "We Wish You a Merry Christmas". If you don't know Mikey, you should know that speaking to strangers, especially groups of strangers, is not his strong suit. In fact, one of the reasons I first started considering homeschooling was that he was very socially immature, he wouldn't look at people or communicate with them.

Imagine my surprise, and joy, when I heard, "Hi, my name is Mikey. I am playing 'We Wish you a Merry Christmas'....fell free to sing along".   I couldn't believe it, but I loved it and tried to sing as loudly as I could to support him.

Roger is a very good pianist. He also enjoys making up his own music. He wrote an awesome song which he called, "High School Song", because it reminds him of how he thinks a high school dance would be.

When we first got to the recital, unknown to me, Roger asked his teacher if he could play his song. The programs were already printed up and there were many numbers. His teacher told him that he couldn't play it this time.

When you give a kid a microphone, apparently you give them power. When Roger went up to introduce and play his second song, he said, "My name is Roger. I will be playing two songs. the first is .... and the second is one that I wrote, 'High School Song'." He then went on to play both songs.

Next time the O'Neil's will not be allowed to use microphone.

True Christianity

I am not always the most sensitive mother.
I mean, I care about my kids, I hate to see them struggle or in pain, but I'm also a mom that encourages my kids to toughen up.....I know, surprising isn't it?

But it is all good for God has given my kids someone to be sympathetic with them....

maybe too sympathetic.

Whenever anyone is crying, Evelyn will start crying.

William bumped his head. I gave him a 2 second hug while Evee cried with him for about 5 minutes.

Evee really takes the whole "mourn with those who mourn" very seriously.

Hazard Conditions

Though it is in the middle of the front console, William and Grant have never noticed the Hazard's button. While driving with just them and the girls, Grant asked what the button was for.

Me: "It's a Self-Destruct button"
Grant: "Why would you need a Self-Destruct button"
Nothing brilliant came to mind, plus I wasn't sure they would buy it in the first place, so I said the first thing I thought of: "Well, what if someone is following behind you? You don't want them to know where you live.......Plus, with your car exploding it becomes a weapon for it shoots all the parts, like tires, out at the person following you"
Grant: "Really?! Where's the dynamite stored?"
Me: "Under your seats"

I wasn't sure William and Grant were really buying my story until I reached towards the button. Grant's eyes got big and William yelled out to stop. Then I knew they were sold on the story. I pushed the button on, then hurriedly pushed it again. I explained to them that you had a 5 second safety time to turn it back off.

William: "What if you don't get it turned off in time?"
Me: "That's why you don't play with it'
William: "What if someone is driving drunk and they accidentally touch it?"
Me: "Well, they shouldn't be driving if their drunk, so that is their consequence"
William: "But what if you're not drunk and your driving behind someone that is drunk that touches the button...then you get hit by their car parts"
Me:"That's life. It's not always fair, but it happens"

I couldn't believe that my boys were believing this story. I wasn't sure of what to do for it was hilarious to hear them, but I also didn't want to be dishonest to them. As I was going through this moral dilemma, I heard these comments:

Grant: "I think I would rather show someone where I live rather than blow up"

William: "Do all cars have them?"
Me: "Yes"
Grant: "When I grow up I'm going to put a glass case over the button so no one touches it"

William: "I'm going to drive a motorcycle, even in the winter, so I won't have one of those buttons"

I finally told them the truth, I didn't want to trick them. But when I later told Todd about the experience, he shared with me what would have been the best ending: After parking the car, with them still in the car, pushing the button and jumping out. Seeing them freak out as they tried to get
out would've been awesome. Not too mention they would've gotten out of the car in a timely manner.

Sibling Love

We had our Primary Program today. It is one of the best Sundays of the year for the entire Sacrament meeting consists of kids singing songs, rattling off their memorized parts, or shyly blowing their words into the microphone, and trying to not fidget while they sit in front of the congregation.
I was so proud of my kids. They did awesome. Grant read his assigned part, William and Mikey each had an assigned part that they were to add in their own thoughts. Roger was assigned to give a 1-2 minute talk. He was assigned to talk on agency, and wrote the talk without any help from me. I was pleased with how it went.

For me, the best part of the program was watching Evelyn. No, Evelyn was not in the program, but because her brothers were, her excitement was amazing. She loves music, and to have the music sung by kids, which included her brothers, was almost like a dream come true. When she made eye contact with Roger while he was singing, she started to go nuts. She was nodding her head in rhythm, smiling, dancing, throwing signs, and bouncing with excitement. She got insistent with a couple of signs, demanding that Roger reply or mimic, to which he tried to discretely do. I don't know how discretely this was, but compared to how "all-out" I've seen Roger, he was quite tame. I couldn't be mad at Roger for signing back to Evee for the joy that she had was worth it. Plus, I figured Roger was in the corner and with about 50 kids, not many other people would notice.

At the end a member of the Bishopric got up and spoke. He said something like, "I don't know how many of you noticed Roger on the end. At first I thought he had Terrets. But then I looked over and realized that he was communicating with his sister, that he was showing love to her." He went on to point out that the purposes of families is to help each other, to show love, to bring joy. Roger was demonstrating love to his sister.

This may or may not have caused Todd or I to shed a few tears.

I love to see the charity that my kids have towards one another. Watching the sibling interaction is one of the best rewards of having children.

Here is Roger's talk he wrote:
"I would like to give a talk about agency. Agency is the ability to choose what we want to do. Everyone can choose what we want to do. We should choose the right so we can have everlasting life. We must make good choices. When I make good choices, I have a good feeling like the time I cleaned out the messy garage. I did not want to do it at first, but when I was done, I had a great feeling. When I do good things, I get good feelings."


 

Trusting God

I've been able to schedule the girls' pediatrician appointments for the same time. With all of the appointments I have to go to already, on top of being a mom to six, this has been really helpful. It is interesting to see the contrast of the appointments between Evelyn and Iralee.

The last appointment, Dr. K was asking about how Evee was sleeping. I shared with him that her pulse ox (amount of oxygen she is getting) will drop down in the night. He was concerned to hear this and was even more concerned that Evee's baseline pulse ox is lower than he would have liked. In some ways it sounded ridiculous that her baseline would be so low and we are not more concerned, but it is our reality. When Evelyn didn't have the trach and had the loud strider, many professionals were alarmed by it, but she seemed to keep on breathing, so what do you do then?

After some more discussion, Dr. K turned his attention to Iralee. When he asked if she was sleeping through the night, I truthfully responded that she wasn't. Dr. K paused, looked at me and said in a voice of agree-ance, “You don't seem too concerned with that.”

“No,” said I, “ there are other things keeping me up at night.”

Evee and Iralee have each contributed so much to our family, and each in a huge and different way.

Having Evee threw us for a loop. From the moment she was born, life was different. We didn't know what was going on, doctors were unsure, and even friends seemed at a loss for words. That first year was so difficult physically and emotionally. Physically because I was taking her to at least one appointment a week, if not more, and that was exhausting. Emotionally for you want the very best for your child, and to discover and accept that it will not be what you had originally thought and hoped can be very hard. Then just as we felt as though we were getting a handle on our life with Evee, she was hospitalized for several months and got a high-maintenance trach.

Having Evee was very much like having your first child, but on steroids. You remember the first child? You imagined your life being the same as before, but with just the addition of a smiley and cute baby to carry around with you. 

Then you had your baby and reality set in. 

Your life before seemed so comparatively easy, for now you had a helpless baby depending on you. You were tired, you were messy, you were exhausted. You could no longer just leave the house giving no thought to preparations.

When I was pregnant with Evee, I imagined how the addition of another baby would be. It would be work, but she was my 5th child, I knew what to expect. I imagined my life as any soon-to-be mother of five. Boy, I was not prepared.

When Todd and I felt impressions that we should have another baby after Evee, we were dumbfounded. Yes, we wanted another child, but we thought that was something down the road...when life was adjusted. 

We thought of our kids, could they handle another baby sibling admits all this stress? How about Evee, would having another baby cause her to not get all the help she should get? How about me and my sanity? I wanted to remain sane, but felt that I was carrying a lot. Would having another baby just blow me over? How about Todd? He was working to provide for the family, be the leader of the home, guide his wife and children. Would this be too much? How about Todd and my marriage? We were really close, but there were times when things were out of our control and the stress would cause us to be short with each other because we ourselves could barely breathe. And how about the new baby? Would this be the best environment for a baby? Our family was trying to cope with all that was going on, and would that be fair to have the baby join the stress? Would she get enough love? Would she get enough attention? Would she feel her importance?

Then there were concerns about what other people may think. Would people think we were being irresponsible. So many people had stepped in and helped us with Evee and all that was required of us for our care. Having a Special Needs child is something that happens to you ....having a baby so soon after having an SN child is something you do to yourself. Would people support us with our decision or would they leave us to our own devices?

Admits all the doubts, Todd nor I could deny the inspirations. We put our trust in God and made the leap. We were to welcome a baby into our chaotic life.

When Evelyn ended up in the hospital soon after we found out we were expecting, we decided that we wouldn't be quick to tell many people. There was enough for us to deal with, and adding on people's reactions to our pregnancy was not something we wanted to deal with. But we loved our baby. 

As I would try to go to sleep on the couch in Evee's room, while I focused on not letting everything crush me, and to keep my nausea calm, I felt so much love for the baby growing inside me. I felt close to her, I felt protective of her. After we got Evee out of the hospital, we started being open about our upcoming addition. Not only because the stress had gone down, but my belly had gone out.

I remember when I told one friend about the pregnancy, she replied with, “This will be so good for your family. It will just make everything normal......You guys were going to have more kids and this just allows the world to go on.”

As she said that, I didn't fully comprehend her meaning. Ya, we were planning on having another baby shortly after Evee, but not after she had some complications. How could having a baby make everything normal?!?!

Now, almost a year after Iralee's birth, I see the wisdom in my friend's insight. 

How could another dependent baby bring so much peace? I am still not sure, but I will tell you that it did and does. Iralee brought the sunrise after the storm. Iralee kept the world turning. Not that having Evee has been terrible, for she has brought a lot of joy into our home, and even into our community. But for awhile the world was different. Life had kept on going, but we had the air knocked out of us. We were on the floor, stunned.  We were trying to survive, we barely had our heads above water. Iralee brought us back to shore.  Iralee brought normalcy back into our life.

With the addition of Iralee, our family has gone on. Again, Evelyn is an important member of our family, but she is not the only member of our family. Somehow Iralee reminded us of that fact.

Having Iralee not only normalized our family, but even normalized Evee. Evee's syndrome, Evee's differences, have almost become just like any other child's traits and characteristics. Roger has brown hair, Grant has blue eyes, and Evee has a big head. Mikey giggles a lot, William loves reading, and Evee breathes out of a trach.

Yes, Evee's challenges can be demanding, and frustrating, but much like adjusting to the first baby, I've adjusted to suctioning, trach care, administering meds, managing nurses, etc. No, I am not perfect at being an SN mom, and NO, I am not always happy and I get discouraged, I get frustrated, I get saddened, and I even cry. But every mother, regardless of their child's needs, feels these things. Evelyn's challenges became a way of life, much like having another baby in our home is our way of life.

My worries and concerns about having another baby in the home? Totally calmed. You cannot believe how much my boys love both the little girls in our home. 

They especially love being able to hold Iralee, something they weren't able to do with Evee until recently. Though Evee doesn't show any interest in Iralee, I know that she watches her, sees the movements she is making. Plus, Evee seems to be warming up. The other day Evee threw a ball to Iralee...though maybe she was throwing it at her. 

As for Todd and I and our relationship?

  Iralee has only brought us joy. It is so great to hold a baby, play with her, rock her. It is so great to hear a baby babble, even to hear a baby cry (you never really appreciate that sound until you can't hear it). And Iralee is such a gem. Her eyes light up. She gives the best “scrunchy-nosed” smile that lets you know that she is genuinely happy. She is pleasant, she is a joy, and a great addition to the family.

 

I also could not believe the support of others that we have felt. I never had anyone tell me that I was crazy, but rather I felt the love and understanding of those around me, those far away, those that knew me and those that did not.

I am so grateful to have this angel in our home. I am grateful that she came when she did. There were no mistakes, no accidents. God had a precious gift for us, for our family, for our home, for our lives. I am grateful for a faith-driven husband that listened to the Spirit, even when I was trying to ignore it. I could not imagine the wisdom in having another baby join our family at such a stressful time. Now, I cannot imagine our lives without this girl.

Thank you for saving us Iralee.

Life Lesson on Going Home

In an effort to give my kids real-life experiences, I had Mikey and Roger ride their bikes to the library. We have driven this 2.5 mile route many times, but I felt that they were ready for the independence, self-awareness, and confidence that going on your own would provide. I drew them a map, gave them specific instructions, and sent them on their way.....with me and the other kids following closely behind in the van.
The boys lost their map on the way there, but were able to follow my instructions. When we got to the library, we discovered that it was closing in 10 minutes! My boys did an awesome job of quickly picking out their books. We checked out and left.
While I was still checking out, Roger had gotten on his bike and headed for home. This made me a little nervous, but with him being much more confident, I figured it would all be okay. I followed Mikey to the point which I knew that he knew how to get home, and I drove ahead to see if Roger made it safely.
I was worried when I discovered that his bike was not in the garage. I quickly started heading back, figuring I knew which turn he had missed and drove the route to see if I could find him.
I drove the route but no Roger. I still felt calm, Roger is independent and can think on his feet. As I was turning onto our street, I noticed a little bike rider coming the opposite way. I was so relieved to see that it was Roger.
Once out of the car, I expressed to Roger how impressed I was that he had found his way back, that it was not an easy task, but that he had done it. He came up to me and hugged me. It was then I realized how much the situation had stressed him out. He wasn't sure of where to go, or how to get home. In his mind, he was lost forever!!! He had ended up riding almost 5 miles!
Roger told me how he was unsure of where to go, but he kept praying that God would guide him. Then he told of how a car was exiting a plaza and didn't notice him riding across the sidewalk. The car almost hit him but stopped just in time!!! Roger said that he knew that it was God protecting him, making sure he made it home safe. He felt that God directed him in which way to turn and then led him to the street that he knew went to our street.
I was so proud of Roger. I hated hearing of his heartache, and definitely hated hearing of the close-call, but I was so proud of him for how he came out of the situation. He didn't freak out, he didn't cry, he didn't quit. He stayed focus, and alert, and most importantly, he trusted in God in his time of need.

Workings of the Holy Ghost

I recently was asked to talk at a friend's daughter's baptism. The talk I was asked to give was on the Holy Ghost, something that a person recieves when they are baptized. Here is the talk I gave:

When someone makes the choice to be baptized and makes the covenants associated with baptism, they qualify themselves to have the opportunity to recieve the Holy Ghost to be with them always. 

The Holy Ghost is a very precious gift for He helps us in our lives. There are many ways that the Holy Ghost communicates with us, and many different ways that the Holy Ghost helps us.

Some of the ways He helps us is that: He Testifies of truth (3 Nephi 28:11), protects us, inspires us to serve and do good, guides us, gives us comfort.

When we come to church, when we read the scriptures, when we meet with the missionaries, we can feel the Holy Ghost. This comes as a feeling of joy, a feeling of peace, sometimes I have felt a swelling of my chest or goosebumps on my arms. This is the Holy Ghost testifying to you that what you are reading or hearing is true. 

When we are having these feelings, when we are filled with the Holy Ghost, we are filled with the love of God. When we feel God's love for us, we more easily feel love for our fellow man. With this love, we have desires to do good, to serve others. 

The Holy Ghost helps us in so many ways. I wanted to tell about the story of Alma to demonstrate how the Holy Ghost works in our lives.

There was a wicked city, with an evil King Noah. A prophet came and cried repentance.

Because Alma had listened to the prophet, and wanted to repent, King Noah wanted to kill Alma.

Alma hid in the wilderness, but because he was filled with so much joy in his heart - had the Holy Ghost- he wanted to help other people find that joy, peace, and happiness. He taught people and batized them in the wilderness. This is an example of the Holy Ghost giving us a desire to love and help others.

One day Alma was warned, by God, through the Holy Ghost, that they needed to leave. King Noah was sending his guards to kill them. This decision to follow the promptings to leave saved Alma, and the hundreds of people Alma baptized. Here we see that the Holy Ghost offers us guidence and revelation from God.

The people of Alma built up a new city, a beautiful city, where they were sucessful and life was good. The people were being righteous and they were all happy.

One day, the Lamenites (enemies) found them and later overtook their city. The people of Alma were subjected to bondage and their trials were sore.

But why would this be? Alma and his people were righteous? Can bad things happen to righteous people?

When some people get baptized, they assume that they won't have anymore trials because of their righteous choices, but this is not so. Everyone will have trials, members of the church or not. One huge difference in facing these trials as a member of the church is the companionship of the Holy Ghost. The Holy Ghost gives us strength and comfort. The Holy Ghost carries us so that we can deal with these trials.

The people of Alma cried unto God. God did not immediately deliver them, but through the Holy Ghost, God gave them peace, He gave them strength. God told them:

 And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand aswitnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions.

 And now it came to pass that the burdens which were laid upon Alma and his brethren were made light; yea, the Lord didstrengthen them that they could bear up their burdens with ease, and they did submit cheerfully and with patience to all the will of the Lord.

 Mosiah 24: 14-15

In life there are challenges, there are trials. Some are heavier than others, but regardless, no one is immune to having difficult times. Storms will come, temptasts will rage, people will let you down, loved ones will get sick, loved ones will pass on, employment will be lost.

But admist all of these trials, you can still feel the joy and peace that the gospel brings. You can still do this because when you rely on the Savior, he will send His Spirit, the Holy Ghost, to be with you.  Your burdens will be made light, you will be strengthened and able to carry them, and through it all, you can have peace and joy, for this is what the Holy Ghost gives us.

 I am so grateful for the role the Holy Ghost has played in my life. It has given me direction, given me peace, given me inspiration, and bore witness of the truthfullness of the Gospel. I testify that you have a loving Heavenly Father that cherishes you, that you have an Older brother, Jesus Christ, that atoned for your sins, and I testify that you can have the Holy Ghost as your companion, your teacher, your guide, and your comforter. 

- This is where my talk ended, but I did have more thoughts that I would like to share here:

The Lord eventually helped the people of Alma escape the bondage. They fled northward where they came upon the people of Zarahemla. Zarahelma was a place of refuge, but also a very sucessful city. The people of Alma were able to unite themselves with the people and become more prosperous and more happy. 

This coming to Zarahemla and finding rest was the ultimate "Happy Ending" of the story. As I have thought about this account, I have come to see that the Lamenites coming to put the people of Alma in bondage actually served a much higher purpose. Though being in bondage was the climax of the conflict in the story, it really brought about the best resolution. 

If the people in Alma would never had been in bondage, they would have remained in the city they had built up. This may have been fine, but God had higher aspirations for them, He wanted more from and for them. Yes, they had to go through some hard times, just like we all do, but because they submitted themselvese "cheerfully" and "with patience", they qualified themselves for something better.

I like to compare that to our journey to the Celestial Kingdom. In this story, Zarahemla represents the Celestial Kingdom. We are each on our own journey to be with God in the Celestial Kingdom. Some are still residing with King Noah, some are in the wilderness, some are in the city that they had built. Regardless of where we are, it is the trials that move us, qualify us, to be better, to make changes in our selves, even to be able to handle more trials. These trials can change us to become more like Him. When we allow them to work in us this great goodness, then we can qualify ourselves for the Celestial Kingdom, we can qualify to be with Our Lord and Savior once more, we can qualify to be in Our Father in Heaven's presence. 

Uncle Reagan's Visit

My brother Reagan came and spent about 2 weeks with us. It was a great two weeks, and I was so surprised with how many of my kids' performance-type stuff he got to see. Not living close to family, this is a rarity for my kids to have someone besides Todd and I there to watch them be awesome.

The boys had a soccer game, though the weather was terribly cold.

The older three boys presented at a science fair. 

Michael's project was feeding a plant milk, orange juice, or water and seeing which is best. He spent three weeks feeding these plants their designated liquid and measuring their growth. In the end the milk and orange juice fed plants died. When he gave his presentation to the judges, I was impressed. It was difficult for him in the fact that he was asked a lot of questions (he's use to always being the one asking the questions), but he kept calm and a maintained a cheerful disposition.

Roger's project was seeing if people could identify objects without seeing them but only feeling them. He surveyed people that came around the house, and with all the traffic with nurses and everyone, he got his 20 people in no time. Unfortunately I missed Roger's presentation for Michael was presenting in a different room at the same time. But according to Todd, he was amazing. Roger is a real people person and knows how to talk to people in a pleasant way, how to be understood by them, and knows how to answer any questions. He answered all the questions confidently and presented his project clearly. We later found out that Roger won First Place.

 William wanted to know why ice cracks. For his project, we researched and discovered why ice cracks. We had such a good time doing this that we started asking more questions and doing more experiments such as: What weighs more, ice or water? William was probably the youngest presenter at the Science Fair and did an excellent job explaining his project.

Todd, Reagan, Michael and I went to a Brian Regan show. Todd and I had gotten tickets from my mom for my birthday. Reagan absolutely loves him, so we were lucky enough to get tickets for him and Michael. I wasn't sure if Michael would like the show, but knew he would enjoy going out with us. To say he enjoyed the show is an understatement. Though I didn't get to experience it since he and Reagan were sitting at a different section, I heard that Michael giggled the entire time. Afterwards he giggled all the way home.

Reagan was also here for Michael's birthday, which included watching the boys' Olmsted Performing Arts end of the year performance. The boys sang some songs, acted out a couple of scenes from plays, and danced a dance. It was so cute. I loved seeing them perform and have a good time.

The three older boys have been taking piano lessons for a year. Their teacher is an awesome homeschooling mom who motivates my boys so much. My boys love it and will bang on the piano quite often throughout the day.

Reagan was able to watch them at the semi-annual recital.

Michael kept looking up towards Evee while he played his pieces. I couldn't blame him for Evee was dancing away. Who knew that going to a piano recital would be the most thrilling thing of the year. Evee loved the music, danced to it, and clapped her hands with the applause.

Roger was confident and played well.

William looked very sharp at the piano, and played well too.

Grant started lessons a month ago and was able to perform as well. He was super cute playing "Mary Had a Little Lamb".

After the recital, we went with our friends to our favorite ice cream place, a Gelato shop. It is amazing. Our friends have 4 kids, and with my kids, it seemed like there was a huge army.

While Reagan was here, we went down to Columbus. We went to White Castle - everyone's first time going there, except for Todd who use to pound the little sliders while he worked Road Crew during the summer in college. 

While I went to the temple, everyone else went to Ohio State campus.

They even went into the Horseshoe

While they were there they learned that one of the university's past presidents was involved with the Underground Railroad. 

A couple of days later, Grant drew this:

The top individuals, standing on grass, are (Left to Right): Grant, me, Todd, and Reagan (he's really tall). We are at Ohio State. On the bottom is the Underground Railroad beneath us, with a “servant” (as Grant called him) running away. I loved seeing his depiction of what he had heard and loved that he had remembered it.

Todd and Reagan tore down our old play set and put together the new one we had ordered. It was a lot of work, and they did a good job. The boys are excited about the new play set, and I am thankful to not worry about the play set falling on them. 

We went bike riding with Reagan. We like to do this Bike-aboard, which entails riding your bikes on the towpath one way, and riding the train the other way. 

 William was having a hard time riding, so he and Todd were behind the rest of us. When we came to the train stop, we looked at the time and distance, and decided that if we hurried, we could meet the train at the next stop instead, and meet up with Todd and William on the train.

When we were coming to the next stop, I heard the train whistle and realized that we had missed the train. So, we turned around and biked back. It ended up being great for I was able to have a nice conversation with Mikey and Roger. Roger is such a connecting person, he creates the best conversations.

Evee fell asleep, and since she was sitting up, I had to reach my arm back to hold up her head. I have to say, it is a heavy head. No wonder it took her so long to get strong enough to hold it up.

Reagan likes to find races to do. So he found a scavenger hunt 5K, that he thought he would enjoy. Todd did it with him. 

The funny thing is that living in Utah and living outside of Utah are very different. Todd and Reagan soon found that this entire race was pretty much a drinking race where you went from one bar to the next. They were the only ones going into the bars requesting their sheets to be marked off while refusing a drink. But they did get some great Race Garb.

Reagan was with us for almost two weeks, but the time just flew. It is so much fun having him visit. He is fun to have around.

A Letter to My Children

Dear Children,

I sit, surrounded by a messy house. Clothes, especially socks, are strewn around me, toys are everywhere to be stepped on, and I hate to look closely at any wall/corner/door of my house because there are streaks of dirt, hand prints, and chipped paint that shows the wear and tear of our home. There are couch pillows on the floor, and a foul odor coming from your rooms. The noise level in our home is quite high. There are screams of excitement, shouts of frustration, sounds of people running around, and lots of sound effects coming from your mouths.
I use to be cute and stylish, now I am lucky to be wearing a clean shirt. White snot streaks plague the shoulders of my shirts, and I only seem to notice that they are there after being in public. Speaking of going out in public, it is something that is not easy. Just the idea of getting loaded into the van can send a wave of exhaustion over my body.
For Mother's Day today, I requested that I be able to take a nap, only to find someone coming in every 15 minutes to complain about someone, ask about something, or seeking comfort. If you can imagine, I didn't quite get the rest I was desiring. Restful, uninterrupted sleep is now something I experience only in my dreams.

Today is my 10th Mother's Day as a mother, and let me tell you, I am not the same person I was 11 years ago. But I will say, I would not change a thing. I love seeing your smiles, hearing your laughter. I love cuddling with you, I love to hear your voice, hear your ideas - even when I don't quite understand them. I feel your frustrations, I feel your pains. I cry when you cry, I rejoice when you rejoice. I love teaching you, I love reading to you. I love when your trying to be funny, I love when you're funny though you're trying to not. I love holding you close, I love when you play with my hair. I love seeing you play together, I love when you hold or play with your little sisters. I love your imaginations. I love seeing you grow and develop, I love to see your progress, yet I am always saddened with each milestone for it means you are closer to becoming an adult.

You may mess up my house, you may mess up my hair, but I wouldn't change a thing. I love you. I love you so much. I loved you as babies, I loved you as toddlers, I love you as the children you are. Though I love to see who you are becoming each day, my only wish is that I could pause time, for it seems to be going by way too fast. I love my moments with you, I love your noises, I love your hand prints - even when they are on the windows. I love the dandelion weeds you pick for me. I love your excitement about life. I love your trust in people, I love your giggles, I love watching you walk, watching you run. I  love your facial expressions. I love your hope, I love your sense of reality, I love your faith, I love your determination. I love your creativity, I love your energy, I love your hands, I love your toes, I love the way your face scrunches when you are concentrating, I love seeing your enthusiasm about a new book. I love celebrating your birthdays, celebrating your life. I love your utter acceptance and love for me, I love your compassion for one another. I love your optimism, I love your joy.
This Mother's Day, I am grateful. I get to be a mom, I get to be your mom, and I love it. 
Thank you for being my child. Thank you for not only enriching my life, but for changing it.

Love, Mom

Spliting Family Tree

The boys and I are reading the life history of Todd's maternal grandfather, Roger. Roger and Todd's grandmother got divorced 5 years into their marriage. I don't want them to be judgmental about people who get divorced, so when I got to the part where Roger writes about his divorce,  I tried to not emphasize it at all. Despite my efforts, I was surprised with the boys' reactions.
You would have thought I had just told them that their kitten got hit by a car. They were devestated. They were sad. They could not believe that such a horrible thing had occured. Knowing that my parents are divorced, Mikey cried out, "Why does there have to be so many divorces splitting up our family tree!"

Saturday

  My first Saturday home from vacation was pretty busy. Here is how it went:
I was planning on getting up early to go running since both Todd and the nurse would be gone by 7 AM, but when Iralee woke up 4 times during the night, I had changed my mind.
Then I found myself awake at 6:15. My internal struggle of whether to run or sleep was at full rage. I decided to look at the temperature outside to determine my decision. 47 degrees!!! Yep, I got up and ran. I was only able to do 2 miles because of my time constaint, but it was great to be outside. I was also able to do my fastest time since before I was pregnant with Evelyn.
At 11 we went to the baptism of a dear friend's son. It was wonderful. Everything was tastefully done, and the Spirit was sweet. It really is great to see someone to make the commitment to follow Christ.
Also, I had brought Buttermilk syrup, if you want the recipe, it is here.

Afterwards we had an hour until Mikey and Roger's Pinewood Derby (yes, as exciting as it sounds). Not wanting to load up all the boys and the girls and the stroller into the van just to go home for a little bit, I opted to just hanging out at the church for an hour. It turned out to be a very quick hour as I ended up just talking with some friends and getting some good information on IEPs.

Pinewood Derby.....hmmmm. Todd had helped the boys with their cars, and he had done an awesome job. Their cars were the coolest looking ones....... but they were also the slowest.

 After the first heat, Mikey told me that he didn't have to win, that he would be fine with 3rd place. I broke it to him that he probably wouldn't even get 3rd place. We did joke that since his car looked so awesome, it needed to go slowly so that everyone could have a better look at it, but if it were ugly, it would go fast so that no one would see it too clearly.

Neither Roger nor Mikey won a single heat. I was happy to see that neither of my boys threw a fit, but Mikey was a little disappointed and Roger was disheartened. Though part of me wished that there had been someone with a really slow car so that Mikey and Roger could have at least won once, I also would not have changed things. There is a lot of moments of disappointment in life, and learning to deal with disappointment will take one far in life. My boys have a lot of great things going on in their lives, it doesn't hurt them to have some things that aren't very fun.
After cleaning up from the derby, we got in the van and drove home. I had just gotten home and got everything brought into the house when Todd got home from work. I hurried and fed Iralee then  Mikey and I got into the van and drove the 2.5 hours to Columbus, leaving Todd with the remaining 4 children.
Emma, a girl that I had taught in Young Womens when we lived in Athens, was getting sealed to her husband and baby boy. Though it would be a quick trip, and one that would get me home late, I really wanted to go and support her.

I was really glad I had gone. It was a wonderful ceremony. Emma seemed so happy and content. Her husband had gotten baptized shortly before they got married and I know it gave her a lot of peace and joy to make their marriage, and family, an eternal one.
The best part of my day was the drive. I had decided to take Mikey with me to keep me company. I had thought about taking Roger for he has some really good conversational skills, but knew that Todd needed him more since Roger is our "Baby Whisperer". I'm really glad I took Mikey for we got to talk about a lot of things.
Mikey can be quiet, or he can be a chatterbox. I was so impressed with how he didn't just quietly listen nor totally dominate the conversation. We had some great conversations, conversations that included a wide array of things. The communication was pleasant and honest. The love that was felt was so strong. A couple of times Mikey, full of love he couldn't keep himself still, would say, "Mom, I really like you". Though it was the drive that made me question if I should go to the sealing, it ended up being the thing that made it the best. Sometimes we forget that these times are the best time to turn off the ipods and other entertainment devices, and get to know each other even better.
It was a busy Saturday, but a very satisfying one too.