Saturday

  My first Saturday home from vacation was pretty busy. Here is how it went:
I was planning on getting up early to go running since both Todd and the nurse would be gone by 7 AM, but when Iralee woke up 4 times during the night, I had changed my mind.
Then I found myself awake at 6:15. My internal struggle of whether to run or sleep was at full rage. I decided to look at the temperature outside to determine my decision. 47 degrees!!! Yep, I got up and ran. I was only able to do 2 miles because of my time constaint, but it was great to be outside. I was also able to do my fastest time since before I was pregnant with Evelyn.
At 11 we went to the baptism of a dear friend's son. It was wonderful. Everything was tastefully done, and the Spirit was sweet. It really is great to see someone to make the commitment to follow Christ.
Also, I had brought Buttermilk syrup, if you want the recipe, it is here.

Afterwards we had an hour until Mikey and Roger's Pinewood Derby (yes, as exciting as it sounds). Not wanting to load up all the boys and the girls and the stroller into the van just to go home for a little bit, I opted to just hanging out at the church for an hour. It turned out to be a very quick hour as I ended up just talking with some friends and getting some good information on IEPs.

Pinewood Derby.....hmmmm. Todd had helped the boys with their cars, and he had done an awesome job. Their cars were the coolest looking ones....... but they were also the slowest.

 After the first heat, Mikey told me that he didn't have to win, that he would be fine with 3rd place. I broke it to him that he probably wouldn't even get 3rd place. We did joke that since his car looked so awesome, it needed to go slowly so that everyone could have a better look at it, but if it were ugly, it would go fast so that no one would see it too clearly.

Neither Roger nor Mikey won a single heat. I was happy to see that neither of my boys threw a fit, but Mikey was a little disappointed and Roger was disheartened. Though part of me wished that there had been someone with a really slow car so that Mikey and Roger could have at least won once, I also would not have changed things. There is a lot of moments of disappointment in life, and learning to deal with disappointment will take one far in life. My boys have a lot of great things going on in their lives, it doesn't hurt them to have some things that aren't very fun.
After cleaning up from the derby, we got in the van and drove home. I had just gotten home and got everything brought into the house when Todd got home from work. I hurried and fed Iralee then  Mikey and I got into the van and drove the 2.5 hours to Columbus, leaving Todd with the remaining 4 children.
Emma, a girl that I had taught in Young Womens when we lived in Athens, was getting sealed to her husband and baby boy. Though it would be a quick trip, and one that would get me home late, I really wanted to go and support her.

I was really glad I had gone. It was a wonderful ceremony. Emma seemed so happy and content. Her husband had gotten baptized shortly before they got married and I know it gave her a lot of peace and joy to make their marriage, and family, an eternal one.
The best part of my day was the drive. I had decided to take Mikey with me to keep me company. I had thought about taking Roger for he has some really good conversational skills, but knew that Todd needed him more since Roger is our "Baby Whisperer". I'm really glad I took Mikey for we got to talk about a lot of things.
Mikey can be quiet, or he can be a chatterbox. I was so impressed with how he didn't just quietly listen nor totally dominate the conversation. We had some great conversations, conversations that included a wide array of things. The communication was pleasant and honest. The love that was felt was so strong. A couple of times Mikey, full of love he couldn't keep himself still, would say, "Mom, I really like you". Though it was the drive that made me question if I should go to the sealing, it ended up being the thing that made it the best. Sometimes we forget that these times are the best time to turn off the ipods and other entertainment devices, and get to know each other even better.
It was a busy Saturday, but a very satisfying one too.

Beauty

I have noticed some differences between my girls. There are the obvious: different head sizes, Iralee is a silent breather, Iralee is less floppy, etc. But I have even noticed some differences with what I do.
Iralee has not worn pajamas a handful of times. Some days she wears the same pajamas during the day and during the night. Yes, I think the dresses are super cute, but for one, the seasons are a little off (Evelyn was born in the middle of the summer, Iralee at the beginning of fall), and two I just imagine the pajamas to be more comfortable.

The other day I realized that I hardly ever have a bow on Iralee's head. This started having me ask myself why it is that with Evelyn I had a bow and a dress (or really cute outfit) on her every day; whereas with Iralee I have embraced the pajama look. Is it that Evelyn was my first girl? Is it that I am too tired and overwhelmed than to worry about a silly bow? Or is it something else?
With further self-reflection I have determined it is most likely attributed to something else. I love dressing up my girls, it's almost like having dolls, but I do think that I work harder at dressing up Evee. I think that subconciously I am trying to compensate for something.
What is that thing I am trying to compensate for exactly? I am not totally sure, but I know it has something to do with my hatred of the word "dysmorphic".
 I feel that Evelyn is incredibly beautiful and wonderful (I almost feel badly for other babies for they don't get her same natural beauty). But the truth is that I realize that Evee looks different. I don't always see it. She is Evee to me, but I am aware that she has a different look.
When I am honest with myself, I see that I was focused on dressing Evee up so that others would be willing to see the beauty that is Evee and not be amprehensive because she looks differently.
But why was/am I so protective? People can see Evee's beauty with or without a bow.
Case in point.
Evee had an EEG. An EEG is a test they do on the brain. This test requires many probes to be glued to your head and you are monitored for some time.
After the EEG, Evelyn got the probes taken off, but there was remaining glue here or there, and her hair was a crazy mess. It was obviously a no-bow-day.
After the appointment was all over, I took Evee (and Iralee in the stroller) down to the hospital cafeteria area for I had skipped breakfast and was just getting a late lunch. The cafeteria was a mad house, and being by myself with a double stroller, I felt as though I was in the way, a nuisence. After getting my food, I manuvered the stroller (with one hand, the other holding the tray) to a corner booth, out of the way. There I ate my food while feeding Evee hers and nursing Iralee before our ride home.
A cafeteria employee came to the nearby trash can and was emptying it when he happened to look over at Evee, who was looking back at him. He made a little "oh" sound. He and Evee silently communicated for about 15 seconds. Not wanting the man to feel obligated to say something nice to me, and also being very much involved with feeding myself and Iralee, I more watched this exchange with the corner of my eye.
The man finished getting the trash bag switched, then before leaving, turned to me and said, "M'am, she sure is a beautiful girl".
I was so grateful for this man's kind words, ones that I felt were sincere. Ones that I felt were in awe.
I remember reading an article about advice for people by parents of Special Needs children. One of the points was to compliment the child. I have to say that I agree with the statement. I am not asking people to lie to me, or to just be nice. For me it is the act of appreciating my daughter for who she is, for seeing her as a person. It is accepting and showing support of bringing her around in public (whole other topic there), it is re-itterating that you see value in something that I see incredible value in.
I know a lot of this may sound different, and believe me, before Evee I would have thought differently. But having a SN child does change you. It is hard. It can be difficult. But it is also creates an amazingly beautiful life and situation.
I was grateful for the man's kind notice and compliments of my daughter. I am grateful every time someone else expresses love for my girl. It excites me for I then know that they see what I see.
I really should not be concerned. There have been so many people that have shown love towards Evee. And regardless of them, Evee gets so much love, attention, and acceptance in my home that it could be enough for anyone. Evee does have a super power - that of getting people to fall in love with her.
Last night, while there were many of us eating dinner and having cake (yes, cake was out) there remained 6-7 kids unfazed by the cake but totally engrossed in Evee.

She has a gift, she is a gift, and she is beautiful.

Happy Birthday Todd

If you know me, you know that I LOVE TODD.
If you know Todd, you UNDERSTAND why I love him so much.
Todd is a one-of-a kind man. I am so grateful that he chose me to be his spouse, for he has made my life wonderful.

 

In the 12 years I have known Todd, I have learned so much. He is not one to lecture or to preach, but he teaches by example. I am so grateful that he is the example I want my kids to follow. 

In honor of his 34th birthday, here are 34 things I have learned from Todd:

1. You don't need to get credit nor praise for the work you do. In fact, you can be more productive if you don't let that be your focus
2. There is always time to play with your kids
3. Don't harbor bad feelings towards others
4. Work hard, play hard 
5. Be honest
6. Find ways that you can relate with people. They will feel more connected and safe with you
7. You don't need to tell people about the service you performed 
8. Images are highly over-rated, being yourself is best
9. Don't offend God
10. Even the most un-talkative person will open up if you allow them - Todd has a gift
11. Put your spouse's needs before your own
12. Be forgiving of people's short-comings
13. Love your spouse unconditionally
14. Be willing to admit that you weren't listening
15. Be grateful of even the gravest of situations for it could always be worse
16. Share your testimony with your kids, no matter their ages
17. Everyone needs more compassion
18. Teaching your sons to be "Men of Honor" is easier when you are a "Man of Honor"
19. Mocking is done best when people think you are sincere - also is more fun when you truly love the person you are mocking
20. Sons are great, but daughters are something special
21. Have fun with your kids, even if it entails watching something stupid like "Shark-nado"
22. Stay calm during stressful times
23. You're never too cool to sing nursery rhymes
24. Be respectful to people
25. Do not hold a grudge
26. Tell your kids stories of your past
27. Follow the Prophet
28. Be willing to live off of Ramon Noodles if you make poor financial choices
29. Be aware of others' needs
30. Always help clean up after events and parties
31. Everyone deserves a good nickname
32. People feel more supported by you when you touch them- enter the "handshake hug", where Todd will shake someone's hand using both hands
33. Don't be afraid to rock the Bill Cosby sweater
34. Trust in God